When it comes to achieving something significant, it is generally not going to happen overnight. There is the chance that it could take them a number of years, or even longer than this.
The Starting Point But while one could be in a position where they have one thing that they would like to achieve, there could be more to it. For example, their whole life might not be going as they would like it to go. Therefore, just about everyone area of their life might need to be worked on, and this will give then plenty to do. Still, certain areas of their life might take less work than others, and so this might make it easier for them to handle. The Goal If one has one thing in mind that they really want to achieve, they might take the time to create a plan. This could then be a sign that they like to write things down, and that they don’t start things without thinking about what steps they are going to take. At the same time, this might take place because they want to get off to the best start. The alternative might be for them to think about what they want to achieve and then to take action. Action Through taking this approach, it might allow them to move in the right direction faster than it would if they were to make a plan. However, there is also the chance that this could cause them to waste time. What this comes down to is that if they haven’t thought about what they need to do, they could end up taking action just for the sake of it. Doing so can give them an internal rush, but it won’t necessarily help them in the long run. Clarity On the other hand, if they have a clear idea about what they need to do, they might not need to make a plan; it could be as simple as taking the first step. This could all change if they were to get to a point where they are unsure about what they need to do next. And when it comes to someone who does make a plan, they could still end up changing it as time goes by. This will show that they have the ability to embrace new information, and this is going to be the sensible thing to do. Attached As if one has a fixed outlook on how they are going to achieve something, it could stop them from being able to achieve it. They will be facing one direction, and this will stop them from being able to see what is going on in another direction. It is then similar to how someone will need to take another route when a road is closed. If they don’t take this route and insist on using the same road, they won’t be going anywhere. Going With It When something happens and one is unable to move forward, it can be normal for them to believe that something bad has happened. Regardless of what has happened, it can cause them to wonder if they should keep going. If they were to dust themselves off and get back up, so to speak, they might soon find that they are able to keep moving. This doesn’t mean that they will be back on the same track, as it could be as if they are on another track altogether. It Will Soon Be Clear But as one doesn’t know everything, it is not always going to be possible for them to understand what is taking place. As times passes though, they might be able to look back on what took place and see why it had to happen. What this shows is that being open to new information is one part of the equation; another part is to be able to let go and to trust in what is taking place. To keep going during these moments will take resilience. Ups and Downs One way of looking at these setbacks, would be to say that they are there to see how badly one wants to achieve something. If they were to give up after the first hurdle, they might need to ask themselves if this is something that matters to them. In addition to this, the strength that one attains through overcome these challenges will prepare them for the next stage. One is then not just going to change once they have achieved something; they will change during each step of the way. The Power And what will allow them to get back up each time and to keep going when something doesn’t go to plan will be the part of them that is not willing to give up. This part of them will serve the same function that an engine does in a car. Without this, the car is not going to be going anywhere, or if it does go somewhere, it will need to be pushed. What this empathises is how important this is when it comes to being successful. Hunger This force could be seen as something that doesn’t just come from their mind, and that it is something that emanates from their whole being. Something within them is going to be pushing them forward and, for as long as this is there; they will continue to behave in the same way. Through having this drive within them, it won’t matter if they don’t know something, or if they are not the most intelligent person around. If one was extremely intelligent but didn’t have the desire to a do anything, they are not going to get very far. Awareness It has been said that some people are born with an insatiable drive for success, and that what took place during someone’s childhood years can also play a part. Nature and nurture are then at play here. If one finds that they don’t have drive, it doesn’t mean that they are someone who will never have it. It could show that it has been covered up by years of emotional pain, for instance, and this can be worked through with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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The Media: What Does The Mainstream Medias Response To ‘Fake News’ Have In Common With Child Abuse?30/11/2016
One thing that mainstream media has been focusing on recently is the amount of ‘fake news’ that is available. This relates to a lot of news that people have been sharing on social media.
What brought their attention to this was the kind of things that people were sharing throughout the presidential election. During this time, it was not uncommon for people to share things without taking the time to read through them. Pulled In When this happened, the title of an article might have validated their outlook, and that would have been the only thing that mattered. And the more ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ they had, the more of an effect this would have had. This is not to say that what they shared would have had the same effect on everyone, as it is not going to be this black and white. There would have been people who read the article, and just seeing the title would have been enough to influence others One Part If someone read the article, they might have accepted everything they read, and they could have ended up reading more articles from the same site. What could have caused them to go along with what they were reading was if the article was shared by someone they are close to. They could have believed that the person who shared it knows what they are talking about, and so there was no need for them to think for themselves. Once this had taken place, they could have shared the article. Another Part Yet, if one only needed to see the title to be influenced, they wouldn’t have used a lot of energy. The title of the article might have gone onto define how they responded to other sources of information. Therefore, if they were to come across information from the mainstream media, they may have dismissed what they heard. This could have also taken place if they were talking to a friend who paid attention to the same source. Uniformed What this shows, is that there were a lot of people who didn’t even listen to what the mainstream media had to say during the election. Instead, they choose to listen to information from non-reputable sources. This is seen as the reason why Trump ended up winning the presidential election, and how this wouldn’t have happened if people paid attention to the real news. Thus, it is to be expected that the mainstream media are not going to turn a blind eye to what is taking place. A Responsibility Ultimately, they exist to keep people up to date with what is actually taking place in the world. It is then down to them to inform people on one hand, and to let them know when they are being deceived on the other. If they didn’t do this, it would only be a matter of time before people would have no idea what was taking place around them. The world would also get worse, and this is why it is so important to listen to this source of information. In Good Hands When people do this and no longer listen to ‘fake news’, it will give them the right information. And through consuming what they have to say, it will allow this source to earn the money that they need in order to survive. As without this funding, this source of information would soon die out, and that wouldn’t be a good thing. The only thing that one needs to do is to make sure they don’t consume ‘fake news, is to only pay attention to the reliable sources of information. The List What has also made this easier is that a list of ‘fake new’ sites has been compiled, and so they won’t need to exert themselves. Once this has taken place, they will be able to carry on with their life. At the same time, it could be said that the mainstream media is only talking about ‘fake news’ because they are starting to lose control. This is then just one way for them to stop people from looking towards other sources of information. Its Exists Clearly, ‘fake news’ does exist, but that doesn’t mean that the only source of information that can be trusted is the mainstream media. When one does have this outlook, it is not going to take a lot to control them. One way of looking at what is currently taking place would be to say that the mainstream media only has a problem with ‘fake news’ when another source is creating it. If they are behind it, it is acceptable. Child Abuse This is then similar to how an abusive caregiver can go to their child’s school and complain if they are being bullied. In this case, how they are being treated is going to be seen as a problem. But when this kind of behaviour takes place behind closed doors, it is not going to be seen in the same way. To the outsider, their caregiver can be seen as the ideal parent, but if they were to realise what they are really like, their outlook would soon change. Conclusion If someone believes everything that the mainstream media comes out with, they won’t realise how hypocritical they are. And even if the alternative media, for instance, were only spreading ‘fake news’, it’s not as if they have had a lot of time to do it The mainstream media, on the other hand, has been spreading fakes news for many, many years. When it comes to the amount of damage they have done over the years, it could be said that they are not in a position to warn others about what is or what isn’t ‘fake news’.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
While each person could go their own way after their relationship has come to an end; there is also the chance that this won’t happen. As a result of this, it could only be matter of days or even weeks before they are back together.
Round in Circles In fact, this could be something that will take place more than once, and it could then be said that this shows that their relationship is not very stable. Therefore, even when they do get back together, this is not going to be an experience that will last for very long. One of their friends could believe that this shows that they are not meant to be together. Another friend could say that the reason they keep getting back together again is because they are supposed to be together. Two Views If this was to take place, it could show that they have a romanticised view of what is taking place, and that it is not possible for them to see that something isn’t right. When someone doesn’t have this outlook, it can show that they are more in touch with reality of the situation. At the same time, the person who believes that this shows that they are meant to be together could be right and the person who doesn’t could be wrong. Still, as times passes, it will gradually become clear as to who has the right outlook. Support And as a result of what is taking place, it could be normal for these people to talk to their friends about what is going on. They might just want them to listen, or they might ask for their advice. If they were to ask them what they should do, this could end up going in one ear and out of the other. Yet, this can all depend on what they say, and if they are together or have broken up again. Each Persons Experience However, although two people are involved here, it doesn’t mean that both of them will behave in the same way. Instead, one person is likely to have a greater desire than the other to get back together. Therefore, the person who wanted them to get back together at one point in time might not the person who does at another. So as long as the person who is being asked has the desire to return to how things were, this dynamic can continue to play out. A Difference If the relationship was to end and the one of them was no longer interested in going back to how things were, it won’t matter what they do. This will be the end, and one will need to gradually move on with their life. Even so, when one has just broken up with someone, they may find that they are not interested in moving on with their life. It might be hard for them to imagine how their life can go on without them. The First Time And even if one has only broken up with someone once, they could still be in a lot of pain. The next step might be for them to see if they can rekindle their relationship, and there is always the chance that they will succeed. What can define if this will take place is why the relationship ended in the first place, as if it was over something minor it can be a lot easier for this to occur. If their ex no longer wants to be with them and they are ready to move on, that could be it. One Outcome One could then get in touch with them and ask them if they would like to get together, and there will be no reason for their ex to lead them on. If they were to meet them, it might only be to tell them that it is over. It will be hard for them to hear this, but at least it will give them the opportunity to move on. If they were to still believe that their ex will get back with them, it is not going to be due to what their ex has told them. In Denial Out of their need to avoid how they feel, they could end up believing that their ex will change their mind. It is then going to be important for them to be patient and, before long, their circumstances will change. In the short-term this will allow them to feel better, but sooner or later they will have to let go of what is going on in their mind and to face reality. Nevertheless, it might be too much for them to handle at this point in time. Another Outcome What could also stop one from facing up to the fact that their relationship is over is if their ex was to string them along. Instead of telling them that it’s over, they continue to talk to them, and not in a way that shows that it’s over For example, at times, they could reply to their messages and even speak to them on the phone, and at other times, they could just go silent on them. One is then going to find it hard to work out where they stand with them. False Hope Based on how they behave, one can come to believe that there is still the chance that they will get back together. What this is likely to show is that their ex is experiencing inner conflict, and this is why they are displaying this hot and cold behaviour. If one was able to step back from what is taking place, they might soon realise what is taking place. The trouble is that they are likely to be caught up in how they feel, and this can stop them from being able to see what is happening. Awareness This is why it can be important for one to talk to a friend about what is taking place, as they are not going to be emotionally caught up and this will make it easier for them to assess what is taking place. The assistance of a therapist might also be necessary during this time.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Even though the presidential election has come to an end, it doesn’t mean that everyone is willing to accept the result. There are going to be plenty of people who are still in shock, even though a number of weeks have now passed.
One Option In this case, someone could look into what they can do to change what has happened. They may take the time to donate a certain amount of money so that a recount can take place. This can then be seen as a way for the decision to be reversed and to finally get the right candidate into the white house. As to whether this will work, one will have to wait and see what happens. Another Experience And even if someone has been able to accept the outcome, they could still find it hard to get their head around what has taken place. This could be something that they didn’t expect to happen. What this shows is that these people would have been fairly certain that Hillary would win the election, and this probably going to be due to what the mainstream media said. But while one could wonder if this source of information lied to them during this time; they might simply believe that they got it wrong. Business as Usual One can then continue to pay attention to what they have to say, and there will be no reason for them to question what they hear. And if one has paid attention to what this source has said since the presidential election result, they are unlikely to have heard them talk about why they got it wrong. As far as they are concerned, their predications would have been right, and they can come across as though they are just as surprised as everyone else. The people who are there to inform them are then going be in the same position. The Answer What one may have also heard is that the only reason Hillary lost is because there was so much fake news available when the election was taking place. This will generally relate to the news that was shared through different social media sites. It has been said that it was normal for people to share an article without taking the time to read through it. The title would then have been enough, and it wouldn’t have mattered how accurate the article was. The Consequences Once this took place there would have plenty of their ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ who shared the same article. It then wouldn’t have taken very long for it to be seen by hundreds or even thousands of people. And even if they didn’t share it, it would have had an effect on how other people perceived each candidate. Based on these different factors, this is clearly not something that can be overlooked. It’s Not Right Therefore, as the mainstream media did everything they could to present a balanced view of each candidate, they have every right to make a big deal out of this. Ultimately, what was shared on social media stopped people from being able to make an informed decision. This information would have caused a certain amount of people to vote for the wrong person. If they only relied on the mainstream media to inform them, there is a strong chance that they would have made a different decision. A Helping Hand Fortunately, a list of fake sites has been compiled, and this will make it easier for them to make sure that they are no longer misinformed. If one had to do this for themselves, it could take them a lot of time. It could then be said that it is a good that thing that the mainstream media exists, as one would end up believing all kinds of crazy things. Their mind would then be filled with lies and half-truths. Another Response However, if someone doesn’t get too caught up in what the mainstream media comes out with, they might find it hard to accept what they are saying. This could be seen as another way to distract people. One might start to think about what right they have to define whether something is ‘fake news’ or not. This is not to say that one will believe that these kinds of sites don’t exist, but to say that the mainstream media is only real news source will be going a bit far. Control In their eyes, this could be seen as way for them to stop people from being exposed to other points of view. The only way that they can keep people in line is if they go along with what they tell them. As soon as they start to break away and to think for themselves, they will no longer have people where they want them to be. Their need to focus on ‘fake news’ is then just another way to keep people away from what will set them free. Fake News What one could also think about how the mainstream media did everything they could to cover up Hillary’s misdeeds. They had no interest talking about what each candidate was really like; their main purpose was to try to make Hillary the nest president. Therefore, this would have been a time when they were busying creating their own ‘fake news’. But this has been covered up, and this shows that it’s not a problem when they do it. Conclusion If the mainstream media focused on telling people about what is actually taking place, there would be no reason for them to look towards other sources of information. And through blaming ‘fake news’ for what has taken place, it is stopping them from being able to see that plenty of people realised that Hillary was also a deeply flawed candidate.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of things that someone can do to change how they feel, and it could be said that some of these things are going to be better than others. For example, if one was to reach out for chocolate whenever they need to change their mood, it could set them up to experience negative consequences.
However, if they were to only do this from time to time, it might not have much of an effect on them. It is all going to depend on how they respond to it, as this could still be more than enough to cause them problems. A Differed Response As while there are some people who can eat as much chocolate as they like and not put on any weight; there are others who are different. Just eating one bar could end up changing their appearance. But even if one could eat as much chocolate as they like without it having an effect on their appearance, it doesn’t mean that it will be doing their body any good. It could just take them a little while longer to see what it is doing to them. Exercise What they could do instead is to go for a run or a bike ride, or to go to the gym, for instance. This will allow them to change how they feel, and they won’t be doing something that will end up having negative effect on them. Their mood will improve and they will also be giving their body what it needs to function at its best. If this was to cause them harm, it would probably be due to them pushing themselves to hard or engaging in too much exercise. Action When one takes this approach, it could show that they are not taking the time to reflect on why they feel this way. Instead, they want to feel better and they end up doing something to make this happen. Their body is going to take over and there will be no reason for them to use their head; if they were to do this, it could just slow things down. This could be how one prefers to experience life, and this could be the best option at times. Stepping Back Yet, there are going to be moments when it will be in their best interest to step back, and to reflect on how they feel. This doesn’t mean that one needs to get caught up in their emotions; it is just to give them the opportunity to take a deeper look into what is taking place. If they were to do this, they might be able to deal with what is causing them to experience life in this way. Their mood would then improve and they wouldn’t need to find ways to change how they feel. Two Sides If this was to take place, they might find that something external is getting to them, and one might then need to deal with this. Or, if this is not an option, they it might be necessary for them to change what is taking place within them. What this comes down to is that one is not always going to be able to change what is taking place around them, but they can always change how they respond to it. Even so, it might be only a matter of time before their external circumstances do change. Self-Control Therefore, when one has the ability to define how they feel, it will be a lot easier for them to function at their best. They are not going to have the tendency to be overwhelmed by what is taking place within them, and can be because they will be able to sooth themselves. Clearly, this is the ideal, and something that a lot of people would like to be able to experience. If everyone on this planet could do this, the world would be a radically different place. Another Outcome When one can’t handle their own emotions, it can cause them to harm themselves in a number of different ways. Their priority will then be to change how they feel, and what this does to them will be a matter of secondary importance. But if they don’t harm themselves, they could end up having a negative effect on the people around them. Nevertheless, through doing this, they could ruin their relationships and end up pushing people away. Criticising Others One could find that they don’t feel too good, and then this could result in them putting someone down. They might have certain things that they like to focus on, or this could be something that varies from one moment to the moment. There is also the chance that they will believe that they have every right to do this, and there is then going to be no reason for them to change. The effect their behaviour has on others will be overlooked and they will only care about their own needs. Self-Hate If one was to look into why they behave in this way, they may find that it allows them to disconnect from what is taking place within them. It is then not just that one doesn’t feel good; it is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Thus, if one isn’t putting other people down, they are probably putting themselves down; how they treat others is then a reflection of how they treat themselves. The toxicity that is within them is then spilling out and affecting the people around them. Awareness The sooner they are able to deal with what is taking place within them, the sooner they will stop harming others. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Needs: Is It Important For Someone To Be Comfortable With Their Needs When They Are Sensitive?27/11/2016
When someone has the tendency to please others, it is likely to be a sign that they don’t feel comfortable with their own needs. It is then not going to matter that they are a separate human being, as their life won’t be a reflection of who they are.
Point of Focus Their day-to-day life is typically going to revolve around fulfilling other people’s needs, and this can be what feels comfortable. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they won’t get annoyed with what is taking place. But no matter how they feel about what their life, it is not going to be enough for them to change what is taking place. This could be seen as something that they have to put up with; with one having very little, if any, control over their life. A Different View If someone else was to hear about what they are going through, they could wonder why they don’t just stand up for themselves. In their eyes, one is going to have the ability to do something about their life. What this is likely to come down to is that they feel comfortable with their own needs, and there is then no reason for them to focus on the needs of others. This is not to say that they will be self-centred; what it means it that they will be in balance. Energy And through being able to fulfil their needs, it will be far easier for them to be there for others. This comes down to the fact that they won’t be used to running on empty, and this will allow them to be there for others without compromising themselves. When one doesn’t feel comfortable with their needs, they won’t take the time to fulfil their own needs. One is then treating others in the way that they should be treating themselves. On The Sidelines And not only can someone believe that one has the ability to stand up for themselves, they could also think about how they are the only ones who can. If they don’t take their life by the horns, so to speak, it will continue to pass them by. As far as they are concerned, one’s life could be too important for them to play a supporting role in their own story. Thus, the sooner they change their focus, the sooner they will be able to live a fulfilling existence. Normal When someone is able to fulfil their own needs, it can be due to what their childhood years were like. In most cases, their developmental needs would probably have been met. This would have allowed them to form a connection with their needs, and to believe that they are important. One way of looking at it would be to say that how one views there needs is simply a reflection of how their caregivers viewed them. A Big Effect Through being given what they needed during this stage of their life, it would have given them a good start. There would be no reason for them to ignore their needs as an adult, and the life they lead can then be an expression of their true-self. When one doesn’t experience life in this way, they could come to the conclusion that they are inherently different. Yet, if they haven’t taken the time to reflect on their own childhood, this is to be expected. A New Outlook In order for them to see life differently, they will need to take the time to learn about why they might be experiencing life in this way. Through changing what is taking place in their mind, it will give them the opportunity to grow. They might come to see that what took place during their early years has played a big part in what is going on for them. Once they have reflected on what took place when they were younger, how they behave as an adult could make complete sense. The Next Step One could start by questioning what they believe about their own needs, and they might end up getting in touch with a lot of pain. It might also be necessary for them to work with a therapist. As they begin to pay attention to their own needs and to fulfil them, they may find that their relationships start to change. This is because one is no longer going to be willing to behave in the same way, and some of their friends might want them to behave how they used to. Standing Firm If this was to occur, it will be in their best interest to stand their ground and not to return to how they were before. At first, it might be hard for them to do this, but the more they do it the easier it will be. In addition to the effect this will have the average person; there will also be how it affects someone who is sensitive. The reason for this is that when one is sensitive, it can have a bigger effect on them when they neglect their own needs. Highly Sensitive Person For one thing, they won’t be able to handle a lot of stimulation, and this means that they will need to listen to their needs and feelings. If they don’t, they will have the inclination do things that they don’t want to do, and they will end up being burnt out. When one’s life is based around pleasing others, they are going to be working against their own nature. Being sensitive is then going to be something that causes them to suffer, as opposed to something that simply causes them to function in a different way to most people. Awareness It is going to be vital for them to feel comfortable with their own needs, and through being this way; it will be a lot easier for them to thrive. Being sensitive doesn’t mean that one was neglected and/or abused as a child, but if they don’t feel comfortable with their needs, it could be a sign that this was a time when they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Recently, the mainstream media has been talking about ‘fake news’ sites, and how these are having a detrimental effect on the world. Thus, if one is not aware of what has been taking place, they will be able to find out about it by reading paper or going online, for instance.
Informed Through doing this, they will soon be able to find about the websites that they need to avoid. As without knowing what these are, they might end up believing things that are not actually true. In fact, there might also be the chance that one has been paying attention to these sites, and it might then be necessary for them to question what they have come to believe. Once this has taken place, they will be able to find out about what is going on by paying attention to the mainstream media. An Analogy One way of looking at this process would be to imagine what takes place to the body when someone goes on a detox program. They will be letting go of what doesn’t belong in their body, amongst other things. After this has taken place, their body is likely to function better, and it will be time for them to eat the right foods. In both of these cases, it is not going to be something that will take place overnight. In The Right Hands However, in the same way that the average child will be able to trust their parent’s, one will be able to rely on what this source of information comes out with. What they say can then be taken as the truth and one won’t need to question what they hear. But if this source of information only exists to inform people, then there is going to be no reason for one to use their critical abilities. If they were to do this though, they may soon find that there are other sources that are saying the same thing. Validation For example, one could put one paper down or leave one site online and the next paper they read or site they go to is likely to cover the same things. What this then shows is that one is being told about what is taking place. Now, they could look towards the alternative media again and find out about other points of views, but these sources can’t be trusted. And the reason they can’t be trusted is because the one source that can be trusted has said so. A Risk As a result of this, if one was to look towards these sites once more, they would be setting themselves up to believe things that are not true. One would then need to go through the whole process of emptying their mind again. Or, if one hasn’t looked towards these sites before, they will need to do this for the first time. Regardless of what they have done in the past; it would be far easier for them to listen to the only source that can be trusted. Another Angle At the same time, one might wonder why they need the mainstream media to tell them what they should believe. They could start to think about how this source of information believes that people are incapable of thinking for themselves. Through being this way, the only way they can know if something is true or not is if they tell them. After thinking about this for a while, they could wonder what this is really about, or they could simply carry on with the rest of their life. The Experts If one was to carry on with their life, there will be no need for them to feel as though they have missed anything. What this comes down to is that the people who work for the mainstream media have the right training to do their job properly. And unless one has also had the same training, they are not going to be able to do what they can do. Focusing on what they can do and letting these people tell them about what is taking place in the world is then going to be the sensible option. The Illusion On the other hand, one could find it hard to believe the mainstream media is warning people about fake news. This is could be a sign that they have been paying attention to the alternative media for a while, or they might not get too caught up in either of these sources of information. In their eyes, this could be seen as a sign that the mainstream media only wants people to believe what they tell them. It is then not so much about informing people, as it is about trying to maintain the level of control they have. A Cover Up If they were to talk about what is really taking place, it would all be over, and this is why they are trying to distract people. As if they can define how people see the alternative media, it will stop them from looking towards this source of information. This will allow them to function in the same way, and they will then be able to continue to indoctrinate people. One might even be aware of how the mainstream media has created their own ‘fake news’ in the past (and continue to do so). Conclusion Having said that, this doesn’t mean that this is something that is black and white, and the alternative media only has one purpose. There are naturally going to be sites out there that can’t be trusted, and sites that contain information that is not always accurate. What this emphasises is how important it is to question what the mainstream media and the alternative media come out with. .
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
While there are some people who feel comfortable in their own skin, so to speak, there are others who don’t. When one does experience life in this way, they are likely to have a sense of their own value.
Self-Worth Through being in touch with what they bring to the world, they won’t feel the need to prove themselves to other people. And what they have to offer will be seen as a reflection of their own value. One is then not going to believe they are valuable because of what they do; it will be the result of who they are. This will enable one to see themselves as a human being, as opposed to a human doing. Down to Earth What this could then mean is that one will come across as though they are a grounded human being. Therefore, even though they are in touch with their value, it won’t have gone to their head. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is to be expected, as there is no need for them to behave in this way. If they did, it would probably show that they are not in touch with their inherent value. An Act When someone has the need to act as though they are more important than others, this is likely to be nothing more than a cover up. What is going on externally is then going to be a way for them to compensate for what is taking place internally. This is then going to be similar to how a house can look perfect from the inside, but be a complete mess on the inside. It is often said that appearances can be deceiving, and this is an example of that. Caught Up Yet, even though this can be nothing more than a facade, it doesn’t mean that other people will always see this. In the same way that someone can be deceived by a magic trick by focusing on the wrong things; they can also be deceived by only focusing on certain parts of their behaviour. The idea they have of the other person is then going to be that they are secure in themselves, and they might even see them as a role model. At the same time, there could be plenty of people who are repelled by them. False-Self When this takes place, it is not going to be possible for them to fool these people. Even so, it doesn’t mean that one will pay attention to what they hear, and they might even end up criticising them. What this comes down to is that when one is not in touch with their value, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. Through being out of touch with their true-self for so long, they could believe that this is who they are. Built On Sand However, they may do everything they can to stop themselves from seeing that this is their false-self. The reason for this is that if they were to let this go, they would probably experience a lot of pain. At a deeper level, there are likely to feel worthless, and through pumping themselves up, it has allowed them to disconnect from how they feel. One can believe that they only have two choices: either they feel completely worthless or they see themselves as being better than others. No Resistance This is not to say that this is what always happens when someone feels this way, as they could simply embrace how they feel. Based on how they behave, it could be normal for other people to believe that they don’t value themselves. So unlike the person above who can come across as though they have it all together, one can come across as though their life is a complete mess. They could be surrounded by people who treat them badly, and they might even have a job that they can’t stand, among other things. Part of Life If someone was in touch with their value, they wouldn’t put up with people like this or a job that wasn’t right for them (unless they had to for others reasons). But when one isn’t, they can believe that they have no choice in the matter. This can be seen as how life is, and it is then going to be something that they have to tolerate. Having said that, this might not be seen as something they believe; it can be seen as the truth. A Deeper Look When someone is not in touch with their true value, it can be the result of what took place during their younger years. The experiences they had would have set them up to believe that there is something wrong with them. It could then be said that the key will be for them to let go of what doesn’t belong to them and to get in touch with their true-self. This can involve letting go of what they believe and dealing with the emotional pain that is within them. Creativity Another thing that they can do is to create something, and this will be a way for them to realise their value. What they will then see in front of them won’t have just appeared; it will have come from within them. In the beginning, they might not be too impressed with what they see, but if they keep at it, this will soon change. One is then not going to be looking towards someone else to affirm their worth; they will be doing it through what they create. Awareness There are no limits to what one can create, and this is not a time when they need to focus on how something looks; this is a time for them to express what is within them. If one wants to show other people they can, but this is not why they are doing it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Boundaries: Does Someone Need To Avoid People Who Lack Boundaries When They Are Sensitive?26/11/2016
In order for someone to be able to express their true-self, they will need to feel comfortable doing so. If they only feel safe when they are putting on an act, it will still stop this part of them from seeing the light of day.
How they generally behave around others is then going to be the result of how other people want them to behave (or how they think they want them behave). To experience life in this way is not going to allow one to feel as though they have any control over their behaviour. One Experience If one is not aware of why they are experiencing life in this way, it could be normal for them to feel like a victim. Thus, one will believe that their life will only change if other people change. A lot of their time is then going to be spent waiting around for something to happen, and they could have moments when they try to manipulate others. This could be seen as being immoral, but one might see this as the only option they have. A Different Reality When someone can express their true-self, they will be able to listen to what is taking place within them. If they were to change their behaviour, it can be something they have chosen to do. It is then typically going to be a choice and not something they feel as though they have no control over. What this will also do is give one to ability to fulfil their own needs, and this will have a big effect on their life. Boundaries And through feeling as though it is safe for them to exist, it is going to be a lot easier for them to stand their ground. Therefore, if someone was to try walk over them, they would soon speak up. Or, if they didn’t use their voice to let the other person know that they are doing something that is not appropriate, they could simply walk away. Their focus is going to be on taking care of themselves and not on pleasing the other person. The Priority If this does cause the other person to express disapproval, it is unlikely to be something that will concern them. One could also believe that it is not other people’s responsibility to please them either. Through behaving in this way, it is going to save them for a lot of unnecessary pain and drama. Now, this is not to say that they will never end up being comprised by others, but this is likely to be the exception as opposed to the rule. The Norm This could be how one’s life has been for as long as they can remember, and this can mean that their early years were a time when their boundaries were respected. Yet, if one’s life hasn’t always been this way, it could be a sign that they were walked over during their early years. One is then going to be only too aware of what it is like to experience life differently, and this could fill them with a deep sense of gratitude. The reason their life is now different is likely to be the result of what they have done to change it. Self-Made At one point in time, they would have made a decision to do something about what was taking place. And this decision might have been made after they had suffered for quite some time. The first thing that might have taken place could have been for them to look online for answers. But regardless of what they did to change their circumstances, they wouldn’t have done it all by themselves. Interdependent One might have taken the first step, but it was through the support that they received through others that would have allowed them to move forward. At the end of the day, no one is their own island. At times, this support might have taken place indirectly, and so one may have believed that they were not receiving any. This can be the case if one was to read something online, for instance; however, if someone didn’t write it they wouldn’t have been able to read it. Waking Up What the above shows is that if one is in a position where they are used to spending time around people who lack boundaries; their life doesn’t have to stay this way. If they reach out for the right support, they can change their life. And when someone is sensitive, they can have an ever greater need to stand their ground than the average person. The reason for this is that it can be a lot harder for them to not only handle people who lack boundaries, but to also recover from what takes place through being around these kinds of people. Highly Sensitive People Through being so sensitive, it can be easy for them to tune into other people’s needs and to ignore their own. Due to this, it won’t matter if it is someone’s intention to take advantage of them, as they can end up going along with them. It is then going to be in their best interest to be comfortable with being assertive, and to make sure that they don’t have people in their life who are unable respect their boundaries. If they were to spend time with people who don’t know where they begin and end and where other people begin and end, they will end up feeling overwhelmed in their presence. Empathy When they spend time around people who are able to accept them, there will be no reason for one to put on an act. These people will be able to empathise with them and there will be no reason for one to feel as though there is something wrong with them. If they were to say ‘no’ or that they need to take a break, they will be able to do so without being pressured to change their mind. This will then enable them to recharge their batteries and to function at their best. Awareness If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist. Once they are able to stand their ground, they will no longer need to have people in their life who are not right for them.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Now that the presidential election has ended, it has given people the opportunity to focus on something else. Therefore, if someone was caught up with what was taking place; their life may have gone back to how it was.
Alternatively, the whole experience may have had a big effect on them, and they might not be able to go back to how things were. This could be a sign that the person they supported won, or this might not be the case. A New Beginning When it comes to the former, one may believe that trump is going to do what needs to be done. On the other hand, he might just be seen as the lesser of two evils, and the person who needed to win to stop Hillary from getting into the white house. One can then see him as some kind of saviour, or they can see him as someone who has an important role to play. As a result of this, their expectations are likely to be completely different. The Ideal Candidate If one sees Trump as a saviour, he is not going to be seen as a fellow human being; he will have been elevated to a much higher level. He could even be seen as someone who is different to the presidents of the past. And through having this outlook, it is going to mean that not only will Trump have a long way to fall if he doesn’t match up to their expectations, but one will also end up experiencing a lot of pain if this were to happen. It could then be said that one will be setting themselves up to suffer unnecessarily, as he is not perfect. A Part to Play When one doesn’t see him in this light, they are unlikely to expect as much from him, and this could show that they have a more realistic outlook. What he has achieved so far will be seen as an important step, and they might have a number of other things in mind. However, they could realise that there is only going to be so much that he can do. Still, this could be seen as a sign of what is about to come, and now the ball is rolling these changes could take place a lot faster. The Other Side Yet, if one wanted Hillary to win, it could be a challenge for them to face the world. This could then mean that they will be in a place of resistance, and they might end up attacking people who voted for Trump. When it corms to how long it will take them to move on with their life (or if they are able to), it could depend on a number of different factors. If one is able to accept what has happened and to focus on what they can control, they are not going to be wasting their time and energy. Another Part What can also make it harder for someone to move on is if they were to pay attention to the mainstream media. This comes down to the fact that is hasn’t been possible for them to accept the outcome and to move on. Instead, they have spent a lot of time complaining about the result, and the people who supported Trump have also been targeted. Their behaviour has made it harder for people to come together and to put their differences aside. One Option It could be said that the sensible approach would have been for them to accept what has happened and to focus on what is now taking place. After all, their purpose is to inform people about what is taking place in the world. If one believed that this is why the mainstream media exists, it might be hard for them to understand what is going on. Based on their behaviour, one could come to the conclusion that it is if they didn’t get the outcome they wanted. A Cover Up Yet, if they were to think about how each candidate was portrayed during the election, they might begin to understand what is going on. Ultimately, the mainstream media wanted Hillary to win and, as this didn’t take place, they are not happy. But if they were to come clean about this, their cover would be blown, and this would stop them from being able to control so many people. It is then in their best interest to carry on in the same manner as they did during the election. In Denial One thing they could is to look into what they did to try to get Hillary elected and how they could have done something else. And as they had a lot of influence during this time, it could be said that they didn’t do a good job. They could also think about how people realised what they were doing and decided to look to other sources of information. If they were to do this, they would be taking responsibility, but this is not something that interests them. Pointing the Finger What they would rather do is act like a child who didn’t get their own way, and this is why they have engaged in a campaign to smear the alternative media. This is where so many people were going to during the presidential election to find out about what was actually going on. The mainstream media is only too aware of what took place and how much influence they have, and this is partly why this news source has been described as ‘fake news’. This is not to say that all the sites that have been listed can be trusted, but to say that all of these sites can’t be trusted is just as inaccurate. Conclusion When one has made a mistake, they can hold their hands up, or they can become defensive and attack other people. The only way for their life to improve will be for them to take responsibility and to then to do something else. Similarly, the only way for the mainstream media to stop themselves from going under will be look themselves in the mirror. If they don’t do this and continue to cover their eyes when it comes to the effect they are having on others, it will only be a matter of time before their time is up.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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