Receiving: Does Someone Need To Embrace Their Feminine Nature Is They Are Unable To Receive?28/2/2017
It is often said that human beings have the need to receive on one side and the need to give on the other. When it comes to their ability to receive, this is something that relates to their feminine nature; whereas when it comes to their need to give, this relates to their masculine nature.
And it is not going to matter if one is a man or a women, as both sexes have each aspect within them. Now, one might identify more with one part than the other, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t posses both sides. One Part If one has looked into what it takes to be successful, they may have heard how important it is for them to give. Or even if this is not something they have looked into, they may have heard about it from the people they know. Therefore, in order for them to move forward in life and to have more of what they want, it will be vital for them to give as much as they can. The value they give to the world will then end up coming back to them. The Logical Approach Whether or not one has heard this before, they could come to the conclusion that it makes sense. As if they were it simply take from the world, there is not much chance of them getting a lot back. Based on this, one will need to give as much as they can to the world, and this will then allow them to have what they desire. There will be what they receive directly, and what they receive indirectly. Two Sides When it comes to the first part, this is typically going to relate to what people pay them for the services they offer the world. So while they are at work, there will be the effect they have on other people’s lives. The second part is generally going to involve what they do when they are not at work. This is going to be what takes place in their relationships, and it can include what they do to help people in others ways. A Simple Equation The amount one gets back from the world is then going to be defined by how much they give. Thus, if one doesn’t have enough, it will be a good idea for them to give more to others. And, if they are giving a lot and this is not allowing them to have what they need and/or desire, there is only going to be one thing for them to do. If one is already doing a lot, they might wonder what else they can do. One Focus As to how long they will need to do this for can all depend; even so, one might just keep going until their life changes. They will believe that they are doing the right thing, and it is then only going to be a matter of time. There is the chance that their life will soon change, and they will receive exactly what they need (and more). To get to this point, there is a strong chance that one will have needed to have a lot of willpower. Force If they didn’t have this, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to have got to this stage in their life. Instead, one might have simply given up after their life wasn’t going the way they wanted it to. It is often said that willpower is something that someone will need if they want to be successful in life. One is then going to have an ability that will allow them to achieve their goals. Another Side At the same time, one could find that no matter how much they give, their life doesn’t really change. One is then going to be doing what they have been told to do, but it is not going to lead to their desired outcome. It is then going to be as if one is following the instructions on how to build a table and the table doesn’t look right. They will have carefully followed each step, but it will be as if they have completely ignored what has been written. The Wrong Way Around Although it is often said that one will need to give more if they want to receive more; it could be said that it is not this black and white. This is because unless one has the ability to receive, it might not matter how much they give. When it comes to being able to receive, it is not going to be enough for them to have the desire; they will also need to feel that it is safe for them to do so. This is something that they can find out by getting in touch with their body. Going Deeper Intellectually, one can have no trouble with receive everything they need, but if they were to get in touch with their body, this could soon change. And what is taking place here can be the result of the experiences they had when they were younger. For example, if this was a time when their boundaries were not respected, it would have caused them to be walked over, and they would have ended up feeling worthless. So as a way to stop themselves from losing themselves again, they can do everything they can to keep life at bay. Out of Balance And through feeling worthless, they are not going to believe that they deserve to have their needs met. When this is something that is taking place at a deeper level, and one is not aware of what feels comfortable, it can be normal for them to believe that they have no control over what is taking place. Their feminine aspect (the part that gives them the ability receive), is going to be dominated by their masculine aspect. This part of them will enable them to feel safe and in control, but it will also cause them to feel as though they are disconnected from life. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace both sides of their nature, they might need to work with a therapist.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
0 Comments
If one is at a stage in their life where they are taking a break from being with someone, they may find that some of the people in their life are in relationships. In fact, everyone they know could be with another person.
And, if they were to spend time with these people, they may find that they are all in a fulfilling relationship. Through having these kinds of experiences, it is likely to give them a good feeling about being with someone again. The Past But regardless of this, one could look back on their relationships and see that this is an area of their life that has generally had a positive effect on them. The moments they have shared with others that were not like this are then going to be overshadowed by the moments that were. This could then show that their relationships have typically ended before they allowed themselves to see the other person in a negative light. When this took place, they would have been able to walk away without being consumed by negativity A Number of Reasons One could look back on their life and see that there are a number of reasons as to why their relationships have come to an end. And how old they were when they came to an end can play a part here. For example, the time might have come for one to go to college/university, and this might have meant that they had to end the relationship they were in. Also, perhaps they have been with people who they outgrew. Now One can then be in a position where they are enjoying being single, and they are not going to be in a rush for this to change. Due to what is taking place in their life, they may feel as though they haven’t got time for a relationship. At this stage of their life, the most important thing might be their career. But as they don’t have the desire to find someone, they might end up coming into contact with someone who is right for them. The Right Place As one is not looking for someone, it might be hard for them to understand how something like this has happened. For one thing, it is not as if they were looking for someone to be with. However, what this can come down to is that when one is attached to something, it can stop it from showing up. Therefore, through not having the need to find someone, it will have made it easier for them to attract the right person. Timing Another thing that can play a part here is that the time has come for them to meet someone new. It is then going to be down to them to decide if they want to embrace this opportunity. But if they have a connection with them, they could find that this is something that ends up taking care of itself. It will now be the time for them to embark on a new relationship. Another Scenario Yet although one might be in this position, there is also the chance that their life is nothing like this. As a result of this, if they were to meet someone who they have a connection with, they might be only too happy to take things further. If they were to look back on their life, they may find that this area of their life has brought them a lot of pain. At times, they may have thought about turning their back on finding someone. Part of Them The trouble is that even if they were to do this, their need to be in a relationship with someone won’t simply disappear. There may have been parts of their life when they were able to disconnect from this need, and then moments when it came right back to the surface. During the moments when it came back to the surface, it could have been something that took place when they saw two people together. Watching a film or a TV series might also have had the same effect. Out of Reach One may find that there has been a common theme when it comes to the people they meet. There might have been the ones who were not a match, but in the majority of cases, they may see that they were unavailable. This is not to say that one would have realised this in the beginning though, as they may have created the impression that this wasn’t the case. But as time passed, it would have become clear that they were not ready to have a relationship. Part of Life Through having these kinds of experiences over the years, one can come to believe that there is nothing they can do to change their circumstances. While other people will be able to have fulfilling relationships; this is going to be something that is out of their reach. These people could be seen as being lucky, or as though they have something that they don’t have. One is then going to have to accept that their life will always be this way; that is until their luck changes. Going Deeper If one was to take a step back, they would see that they are the person who shows up each time. Based on this, it is going to be a good idea for them to look into what part they are playing. As if one has the tendency to attract people who are unavailable, it can show that they are also unavailable. Their world is then mirroring back what is taking place within them and, unless this changes, their life is unlikely to change. Early Years The reason one experiences life is this way can come down to what took place when they were younger. At this time, they may have been brought up by someone who didn’t respect their boundaries. It would then have been normal for them to feel smothered and overwhelmed as a child, and this would have set them up to fear intimacy. This could be a sign that one experienced emotional incest. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place for them and to work through it.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
While one could be in a relationship with someone who is available, they might also find that they are with someone who is unavailable. This is something that is going to have a big effect on how fulfilling their relationship is.
One Experience If one can relate to the former, they are likely to be with someone who is not just with them physically; they are going to be with them emotionally. Therefore, they are not just going to share their bodies and even their mind, they will also share their hearts. What this means is that one person is not going to be with the other to avoid how they feel, and they are not going to be caught up with their ex. Through being with someone like this, one will be able to experience intimacy. Another Experience But if they can only relate to the former, they can be with someone who is only willing to share their mind and body with them. As a result of this, the other person’s heart is not going to be on offer. The other person will be in a relationship with them and yet they are not really going to be with them. One is likely to want far more from them than they are prepared to give, and this can cause them to experience pain. Caught up At the same time, one could even be with someone who is in a relationship with another person. So while one can say that they are with them, they are going to know that this is not the complete truth. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will always face up to this, and during these moments, they could pretend that the other person is only with them. This will allow them to delude themselves into believing that they are actually in a relationship with them. To The Surface When it comes to the moments when they do face up to what is taking place, they could ask them when they are going to leave their partner. This could be something they have asked them on numerous occasions. And each time they ask, they could end up hearing that the same thing; with this being a time when they will tell them that it will happen soon. They could think about how this will allow them to finally have the other person to themselves. The Perfect Outcome If this was to happen, one could be only too happy about what has taken place; they will finally have what they have wanted for so long. The other person will be emotionally available, and this will have a big effect on their relationship. They will no longer have to share them with someone else, and they might even think about taking things further. Perhaps they want to have children, or even to get married to this person. A Different Reaction On the other hand, one could find that they are no longer attracted to this person now that they are available. At one point in time, they would have had such a strong need to be with them, and now it is no longer there. If one was to take a step back, they might find it hard to understand why they feel this way. They could come to believe that it’s because the other person has changed, or that they just don’t feel the same way anymore. A One-Off If something like this was to happen, one could find that this is something that hasn’t taken place before. There is then going to be no reason for them to think about it anymore and they can carry on with their life. Alternatively, one could find that this is not the first time this has happened, and they might end up thinking about why this is the case. Still, it could still end up being overlooked and one could simply move on. Dating In addition to this, one could find that when it comes to the people they have been attracted to in the past, they might see that they are only drawn to people who are not available. So if someone is distant, they could find that they end up pursuing them. It can then be as if they only want to be with someone if they can’t have them, and if they can, they are not interested in them. The people who were available in the past would then have been the ones who repelled them. The Secret Therefore, if someone wanted to attract them, they would need to make sure that they don’t come on too strong or give them too much attention. As if they do this, it will cause one to chase them. But as soon as they change their behaviour, one is likely to end up pulling away and that could be the end of it. It could be said that this will the kind of relationship where a lot of games will be played. A Deeper Look When one experiences life in this way, it is likely to show that they don’t feel comfortable with intimacy. They are going to have two fears that will define how they behave, and one will be stronger than the other. Their fear of being engulfed will stop them from being able to feel comfortable with someone who is available, and their fear of being abandoned will cause them to chase someone who is unavailable. And of course, the fear of being engulfed will play a big part in why they are drawn to someone who is unable to be there for them. This is also likely to show that one doesn’t have good boundaries. Awareness During their younger years, they may have been brought up by a caregiver who didn’t respect their boundaries, and this would have caused them to feel smothered. These early experiences would then have set them up to fear getting close to others. If one wants to change this, it will be necessary for them to develop boundaries and to deal with what is taking place within them. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If one wanted travel to another country, there is a strong chance that they would need to have a passport. In addition to this, they may also find that they need to get a visa.
This could be something that doesn’t bother them, and they are then not going to have the need to think about whether the world should be this way. One might simply want to get everything sorted so that they can go to where they need to go. Part of Life There is a strong chance that this is something they have always had to do, and so there is going to be no reason for it to stand out. If they were to have moments when they think about how differently their life would be if they could just go wherever they wanted to go, it is not going to go any further. It could be the same as if one was to think about how different their life would be if they could fly or teleport to other places. This will be something that won’t have a big effect on their life. Another Outlook On the other hand, this might be something that one has spent a certain amount of time thinking about. One may see that their life would be easier if they didn’t need to have a passport and a visa to travel the world. But at the same time, they might believe that there are a number of reasons as to why the world is this way. What they have to go through to go to another country is then going to be worth it in the long run. The other Side If one can’t relate to this, they may believe that this is something that needs to change. As far as they are concerned, they should be allowed to go where they want to go on this planet. And as this can’t take place, it shows that they are not a free human being; instead, people out there are trying to control them. Along with this, one could also spend a lot of time thinking about the people who live in other countries who are not allowed to leave. The Ideal Therefore, if it was down to them, they would be able to go wherever they wanted to, and the people around them would be able to do the same thing. After all, one is a citizen of the world, and they could believe that no one has the right to tell them where they can or can’t go. Through having this outlook, one may look into what they can do to make their dream a reality. What this could cause them to do is to get into politics, and there is likely to be a party that wants the same thing as they do. Support The other political parties can then be seen as being stuck in the past, and it could be hard for them to comprehend why they don’t want to have open borders. Through throwing their weight behind a party, they will probably come across other people who have the same outlook. But even if they didn’t go this far, they could still be surrounded by people who want what they do. It is then not going to be as if they will be all by themselves, and this will give them the strength to keep going. One Side When someone wants open borders, it can show that believe that there is nothing good about having closed borders. Or, if there is anything good about it, the good is outweighed by the bad. Thus, there is going to be no reason for the world to stay as it is; the right thing will be for the world to be one big country. This will then allow their dream to become a reality, and it could be seen as something that will end a lot of the suffering in the world. Another Angle One approach would be to look into what might happen if this was to become a reality. Naturally, there are going to be good things that would come out of it, and there would be things that are not so good. Yet as one as one is talking about something that they haven’t experienced, it can be hard for them to truly understand what it would be like. In the same way that one can believe that their life will be perfect when they meet ‘the one’; it can stop them from being able to have a balanced outlook. Back To Reality With this is mind, one can gain a better understanding of what open borders would be like if they were to imagine what it would be like if they didn’t have boundaries. The reason for this is that the borders around a country are generally there to protect the country. When it comes to their personal life, having boundaries allow them to define what they do and don’t let into their life, and they allow them to feel safe enough to be themselves, amongst other things. What this means is that if one doesn’t have boundaries, it would be the same as having open borders. Exposed Now, clearly there are going to be people out there who wouldn’t take advantage of them, even if though they didn’t have boundaries. The world is made up of all types of people after all. Just as If one didn’t have a fence around their house and they didn’t lock their door at night, it doesn’t mean that everyone who walks past their house will walk on their garden or walk into their house. However, there are going to be people out there who would take advantage of them, and these people will be only too happy to walk all over their garden and to go into their house and take whatever they can. Conclusion If one was to believe that everyone has good intentions and that no one out there wants to take advantage of them or to steal anything from their house, it would show that they are incredibly naive. And through being this way, they would probably be used to being walked over and their house may have been burgled a few times. What this shows is that while certain things can sound good in theory, it doesn’t mean that they are good in practice. When boundaries are not in place, a number of problems are going to arise.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If one was to look back on their life, they may find that they have had friends who have needed their help. This could mean that they have had to drive them to different places, give them a place to stay for a few nights and been there for them when they were not in a good place, amongst other things.
One way of looking at this would be to say that this is part of life, and something that most people have experienced. After all, human beings are interdependent, and it is not going to be possible for someone to always handle life by themselves. The Other Side With this in mind, one could also remember those moments when they have looked towards their friends to help them out. Whatever the reason was, one would have needed a friend to be there for them. The times they have been there for others are then backed up by the times other people have been there for them. What this will show is that their friendships haven’t been one-sided, and that they have been based on give and take. Balance This is not to say that one has helped one person as much as they have helped them or vice versa, as it might not be this black and white. What it might come down to is that one has been there for others as much as they have been there for them. One may have given more to one person than they gave to them, and there may have been someone who gave them more than they receive. It could be said that this is part of life, and that there are moments when there is no other way around it. The Odd Occasion When they think about the times when they have been there for their friends in this way, they may find that it has been spread out over a number of years. This is then not going to be something that takes place every week or even every month. But if this is not the case, it could show that one of their friends was going through a bad patch and needed their support over a certain period of time. Alternatively, a few of their friends might have been in a similar position and this might then have caused them to focus a lot of their energy and attention on their needs. Another Experience If they were to put these experiences to one side, they may find that the other experiences they have had have been completely different. During these moments, one could find that they didn’t need their help in the same way and their friends didn’t need their help either. Instead, one might have simply spent time with the other person, and they could have just enjoyed their company. They would have shared their life and the other person would have shared theirs. Coming From the Right Place And when this is what their friendships are like, it is likely to show that they feel comfortable with their own needs. One can then embrace them and this is what enables them to get their needs met by others. This is then going to stop them from acting as though they don’t have needs, and there will be no reason for them to put their friend’s needs first. If this does take place, it could only happen if one of their friends is going through tough time. It Makes Sense Now, if one didn’t have needs and they were simply an extension of other people, there would be no reason for them to behave in this way. They could put their friend’s needs first and overlook their own. But as one is in an individual and they have their own needs, there is only going to be the only way for them to behave. Through being this way, it will allow this area of their life to have a positive effect on them. A Different Reality Yet, although this could be seen as the ideal, there are going to be others who are used to having people around them who only take. Or, if there are moments when they give something back, this could be something that rarely takes place. One could find that these people are always going through a challenging time, and this could stop them from being able to focus on their own life. These people could be more like their children than their friends. Out of Balance It could then be normal for them to wonder why they have these people in their life, and they might even think about cutting their ties with them. Nevertheless, this could be something that they feel comfortable with at a deeper level. Therefore, no matter how these people treat them, they are unlikely to do anything about it. Their idea of a friend is going to be someone they have to rescue; it won’t have anything to do with someone who is going to add anything to their life. On The Inside What this is likely to show is that one doesn’t feel comfortable with their needs, and this is why they tolerate this kind of behaviour. One could believe that if they are there for these people, they will be there for them Rescuing others is then an indirect way for them to get their needs met. But as the people they are drawn are not going to be able to read their mind and they could also be self-centred, this is something that is unlikely to take place. Awareness The way one views their needs could be the result of how their caregiver/s responded to them during their early years. This may have been a time when one had to focus on their caregiver’s needs, and this would then have caused them to believe that there was something wrong with their own needs. Once one changes how they see their needs and they begin to feel comfortable with them, they will no longer have the need to rescue others. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
In today’s world, it is not uncommon for one to have a gym membership, or to at least take part in some kind of exercise. One reason for this is that this is an area of life that is seen as something that can’t be overlooked.
No matter how old one is, they may have been told on a number of occasions that it is vital for people to do something every week. In fact, they may have been told that it will be better for them to engage in some kind of excise a few times a week. A General Approach When it comes to what they will do each week, it can all depend on what they are trying to achieve, and if they enjoy exercising. If one simply wants to stay in shape, they could end up doing something twice a week. But if they wanted to take part in a marathon or something similar, they could end up doing something every other day. One could do the same thing each time, or they could have a few different routines. Variety is The Spice Of life Fortunately, there are so many things for one to choose from, and so there will be no reason for them to get bored. For example, if they have had enough of going to the gym, they could join a class instead. Yet if they no longer wanted to stay indoors, they could go for a run or a bike right outside, for instance. One can listen to their own needs and do whatever suits them, and this can make it easier for them to keep going. Growth In addition to this, when they change what they do it can have a positive effect on their fitness levels. One will be doing something that they haven’t done before and their body will have to adapt. And, if they were to change their muscle building routine, this can also allow their muscles to grow faster. This is because their body may have adapted to what they were doing and now it will have to adjust to the new routine. Part of Life If one was to look into the time they put into this area of their life, they may find what it is not something that has taken over their life. This could then be something that is just another area of their life. As a result of this, one is not going to neglect other areas of their life, and it could be said that this will be the right approach to have. After all, one this is not supposed to be something that will end up consuming whole their life. A Profession Naturally, if one was a professional athlete, this would be something that takes over their life. But even if this was the case, it doesn’t mean they would be exercising everyday; there are still going to be moments when they will rest. Regardless of whether one is an athlete or someone who simply wants to look after themselves, it will be important for them to give their body a rest. This will give their body a chance to repair and to build more muscle. Another Part And while there is the effect that exercise has on one’s physical health and appearance, there is also the effect it has on how they feel. If this wasn’t the case and one only experienced pain when they exercised, it would probably be a lot harder for them to keep doing it. Of course, there would still be the effect it has on their health and how they look, but they wouldn’t get the same boost. Without this, one would be completely dependent on their willpower to push them through each time. Wellbeing As exercise has an effect on someone’s mental and emotional health, it is not surprising that this is something that is often recommended to people who find it hard to feel good. When one exercises, they could find that it makes them feel good, and this could play a big part in why they do it. However, once they have finished excising and they gradually return to how they felt before, it might not be hard for them to handle. What this could show is that they generally don’t feel low or depressed. A Different Experience This can then be a time when they will be in touch with what is taking place in their head and their body, and they could find that they typically feel good and at peace, for instance. On the other hand, if one is in a position where they only feel good when they exercise, it is going to be a lot harder for them to handle. It can be as if they were on one side of the emotional spectrum at one point and on the other side at another. When this doesn’t happen, one can go from one side of it and come back down to the middle. A Big Difference Another way of looking at it would be to say that when one exercises, it will allow them to feel human or normal. It is then not that they exercise in order to feel high; they do it so that they can experience life in the same way that other people do. Therefore, through feeling so low, one can see exercise as the only way to change how they feel. It is often said that the reason someone like this would be addicted to exercise is because they lack willpower. Awareness This person is then mentally weak; whereas the people who don’t get addicted to it are mentally strong. When in reality, it could come down to the fact that this persons brain is not working as it should. If one can relate to this, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. They could speak to their doctor about this or they could see a therapist, for instance.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
When it comes to what is taking place in the world, it can be normal for one to look towards the mainstream media. Looking towards this source to be informed can be as natural as one going to a supermarket when they need to buy food.
This is likely to have been something they have done for as long as they can remember, and their caregivers may have had the same approach. And as this source exists to keep them updated about what is going on around them, there is going to be no reason of them to change their behaviour. Reliable If one was to go to a supermarket, it will be a lot easier than if they were to go to a number of different shops to get what they need. In addition to this, this is going to be somewhere that has what they need. When it comes to the mainstream media, all the information they need is going to be in one place. And not only this, one will be able to hear from this source whenever they want to; it won’t be as if they will disappear. A Number of Different Ways One can stay up to date through reading a paper, watching TV and/or through using a device. Due to the internet and being able to use a device to access it, it is now easier than ever before for one to be informed. As a result of this, it will all depend on how much they want to know about what is taking place in the world. If one was to have a Smartphone, they will no longer need to buy a paper or to watch the news on TV. Straight In When it comes to what they are exposed to through this source of information, it could end up going straight into their mind. What this means is that they won’t question what they hear or look to see if it is the truth. One could believe that as this source is only passing onto them what is taking place in the world, there is no reason for them to do this. Based on this, they will be doing the right thing by accepting what they hear. Support Through being this way, there is a strong chance that they will be surrounded by people who are also the same way. The way one views the world is then going to be no different to the way these people view it. There is then going to be no reason for them to change what they believe or to think differently. As these people have the same outlook, this can be seen as a sign that they are right. Another Purpose If this source only existed to inform people, then it wouldn’t matter if one accepted everything they were told. But as this source doesn’t simply exist to inform them, it is going to cause them to end up being misinformed. The only thing they will know about the world will be what this source wants them to know. When it comes to how they view people who are in the public eye, it is also going to be defined by this source. A Slave One is then going to have their own mind, but this part of them will be controlled by other people. It is then not going to matter that one will have control of their body, as the part of them that controls their body won’t be under their control. When it comes to how they perceive the world, it will be the result of how they have been told to perceive it. Yet even though this is the case, one can be completely oblivious to what is taking place. The Perfect Scenario One way of looking at this would be to say that this is going to be far better than trying to control them through external means. This way, one is going to be under control but they won’t even realise this. As far as they are concerned, how they view the world can be seen as the truth, and there will be no reason for them to think differently. For the people behind the scenes, so to speak, it is not going to get much better than this. Resistance If one was to come across someone who doesn’t believe everything they hear, they can end up being seen as the problem. Instead of seeing that they are simply willing to think outside the box, they can be labelled as being crazy. The person who hasn’t taken the time to come to their own conclusion is then going to criticise the person who has. This can then show that one is not interested in learning about what is actually taking place; they are only interested in being right. Intellectually lazy It could be said that the mainstream media are only too aware of the fact that human beings don’t like to think, and they use this to their advantage. They can also rely on the fact that a lot of people are more concerned with fitting in than they are with finding the truth. Therefore, it is not as if they have to put a lot of effort in when it comes to controlling people’s minds. In most cases, they simply need to present information in an emotive way and the rest will often fall into place. Conclusion With the help of the alternative media, it has given people the chance to get a more balanced view of what is taking place around them. If one is curious and has an open mind, this is likely to be something that will interest them. But if they are not curious and don’t have an open mind, they probably wont be interested in stepping back from the mainstream media. And while someone might want to get this person to think for themselves, this might be a waste of time.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
While there are people who are drawn to those who are self-centred, there are others who are repelled by them. When it comes to the former, it could be said that they are going to spend time with people who are not right for them.
Yet, when it comes to the latter, there is a strong chance that they will spend time with people who going to have a positive effect on their life. What this comes down to is that they will have needs and if these are not met, it is going to be a challenge for them to live a fulfilling existence. One Area When it comes to one’s needs, naturally it is not going to be possible for their friends to meet all of them. There are going to be meets that they can meet and needs that they are unable to. In the same way that if one was in a relationship, their partner is not going to be able to meet all of them. In addition to the needs that other people can meet, there will be the ones that one will have to meet. Interdependent If human beings were dependent on each other, then their needs would only be able to be met by others. As they are interdependent, it allows them to be there for themselves when other people are unable to be there for them. When it comes to the needs they have to fulfil by themsevles, it can relate to what they will need to do in their career, for instance. It will be down to them to take action and to go after what they want to achieve. The Right Nutrients It is only to clear how important it is for one to eat the right foods, but what is not as clear is how one will also need to be around the right people. The people they spend their time with will have a big effect on how they see themselves and on what they achieve. Therefore, if one has people in their life who are not self-absorbed, their life is likely to be a lot easier than it would be. One will see that these people value them as much as they value having them in their life. Give and Take If they were to message them, it is unlikely to be a one-sided interaction; there will be the effort that one puts in and the effort the other person puts in. It will then be clear that they are separate individuals, as opposed to one person being an extension of the other. As if this was the case, there would be no need for one of them to put in any effort. One person could talk and the other person will be seen as someone who is only there to meet their needs. Boundaries Each person is then going to have a clear idea of where they begin and end up, and this will be what plays a part in them being able to behave as they do. What this will also do is to allow both of them to be in touch with their needs. If one was to message someone and they were to only talk about themselves, and this was something that took place on a regular basis, there would be no reason for them to have them in their life. One would be in a position where they would end up giving more than they receive, and it would be a one-sided relationship. Out of Balance No matter what they give, they are not going to get anything in return. Or, if they do, it won’t make up for the amount of time, effort and energy they put into the relationship. If something like this was to take place, one could give them a chance, and if they don’t change their behaviour, they could soon end up cutting their ties. The amount of respect one has for themselves is going to stop them from tolerating this kind of behaviour for very long. Another Scenario But although this is kind of behaviour is going to push them away, there will be others who will stick around. And, if one was to take a step back, they could find that there is someone in their life who has always been this way. In fact, just about all their friends and even their partner (if they have one) could have the tendency to ignore their needs. When it comes to spending time with these people, the attention is typically going to be on them. Undetected If one is able to detach from what is happening, they will see what is going on; however, this could be something that they typically overlook. And during the moments when it does stand out, it could soon end up disappearing from their mind. In the eyes of others, it will be obvious that the people around them are self-centred (that’s if they don’t experience life in the same way).One way of looking at it would be to say that one is generally blind to what is going on. The Reason What this is likely to come down to is that one feels ashamed of their needs, and this is why they don’t expect other people to meet them. They are going to feel the need to do everything they can to hide them from others. The people in their life are only going to be interested in their own needs, but this is going to be what feels comfortable. Through being around these people, it is going to stop them from having to reveal their needs, and this will be seen as something that will stop them from being rejected and abandoned. Awareness One’s main priority will not be to get their needs met; it will be to do what they can to stop other people from realising how worthless they are. Being around people like this won’t add a lot to their life, but what it will do is stop them from having to be exposed. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with one’s needs and they are not worthless. How they see their needs and themselves is likely to be the result of what took place when they were younger. In order for one to change their life, it might be necessary for them to reach out for the support of a therapist.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Relationships: Are Friends The People We Have In Our Life Who Always Talk About Themselves?20/2/2017
If one was to get in touch with one of their friends and to ask them how they are, they may find that they return the favour. When this takes place, it might not end up standing out, and this is because this is how they generally respond.
What this can show is that their relationship is based on give and take, and both of their needs will often end up being met. One way of looking at this would be to say that this will be the ideal. The Odd Occasion When this doesn’t take place, it is not going to be something that one is used to, and so it will be easier for them to ignore. This could be a time when a friend is going through a challenging time and hasn’t got the energy to behave as they usually would. In this case, one might empathise with what they are going through and not expect them to ask them how they are. One’s focus will be on what they are going through and as time passes, it should return to how it was before. A Similar Experience And, if one was going through a tough time in their life, they could also behave in the same way. They could be so caught up in what is taking place that they won’t even think about anyone else. This is something that could take place if a loved one has passed on or has been diagnosed with a serious illness, for instance. After they have settled down, they could soon go back to how they were before. Two Ways When a friendship is made up of moments like this, it is going to be mutually beneficial relationship. As a whole, one person is not going to receive any more than the other person does. And as they are both going to have their own needs, it is going to have a positive effect on their life to know someone like this. Along with the interest that each person has in the other person’s life; there will be the support that they give to each other. A Big Influence To have one person like this is in their life is going to be good for their wellbeing and, if they have a number of people in their life like this, it will be even better. Then if one friend has a lot going on and is busy, they will have other people who they can reach out to. But when one only has one person in their life who is like this, they are going to be overly reliant on them. This friend could end up in a relationship and they might not be as available as they were before. The Spotlight In addition to what happens when they ask their friends how they are doing, there will also be what takes place after. During this time, each person will get the chance to share what has been taking place in their life, amongst other things. This is not to say that one person will talk for three minutes and then the other person will talk for the same amount of time. What it comes down to is that this won’t be a time when one person will have all of the attention on them. For A Reason If it is, it could be a sign that one of them is going through a tough time or something significant has taken place in their life. It is then going to be normal for the other person to want to hear all about it. When each of them has the chance to talk, it will show that they are interested what the other person has to say. This will show that they value the other person, and this is how a friendship should be. Another Experience On the other hand, one could have someone in their life who doesn’t act in this way, and this is likely to mean that it will be a one-sided relationship. In fact, one could have a number of people in their life who are like this. One could ask them how they are and they could answer them, and this could be as far as it will go. They won’t take the time to return the favour, and their needs will end up being ignored. One Focus This could be a time when the other person will use this as an opportunity to endlessly talk about themselves. If they were to ask one how they are, it could be clear that they are not really interested. It can be as if they are doing this just so they can have the chance to talk about themselves. Based on how this person behaves, it will be clear that they believe their needs are more important than anyone else’s. The Centre of the Universe If one was to experience life in the same way as they do, they may see other people as an extension of themselves. Or if this is not the case, they may see other people as not having the same level of importance as they do. Through seeing life in one of these ways, there is going to be no reason for them to behave any different. Through being this way, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to have any real friends. Awareness There are a number of reasons as to why someone would behave in this way, and this could be due to what their childhood was like. However, what matters is that one takes a step back and looks into why they would be friends with someone like this. What they could find is that they don’t believe that their needs are important, and they might not value themselves. Through being this way, it sets them up to tolerate one-sided relationships with people who are self-centred. If one can relate to this, it will be a good idea for them to change how they see their needs and how they see themselves. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
When something is not going right in life, it can be normal for one to look into what they can do about it. Naturally, this is going to be the only way that their life will change; if they don’t do this, their life could end up getting even worse.
But while one could take action if there was something wrong with their health, it doesn’t mean that they would do so if it related to their mental and emotional health. In this case, one is not going to have the same approach as they usually do. Stuck As a result of this, one can end up suffering in silence, and the people around them might not even be aware of what they are going through. What this can also come down to is that one can end up putting on an act around other people. During the moments when they are by themselves, they can end up dropping their act and facing how they feel. This is going to show that the only time they are able to be themselves is when they are by themselves. Reaching Out If this was to take place, it is going to be vital for one to reach out for the right support, and to realise that they have nothing to be ashamed of. What they are going through doesn’t make them weak or less of a human being. This is an outlook can one can have due to living in a society where mental and emotional problems are often overlooked. And if they are a man, it can also make it harder for them to ask for help. The Difference On the other hand, this is unlikely to be the case if they are a woman, and this is partly down to how men are brought up. Therefore, if a woman has inner challenges, it can be a lot easier for her to open up. At the same time, if a woman has a high powered job, she may also feel the need to cover up what is taking place for her. As if she was to open up about what is going on, it could cause her to be seen as being incompetent, for instance. The Modern Day World What this shows is that no matter what sex one is, if they work in a certain environment they can have similar challenges. In addition to how the roles of each sex have changed, people are more isolated than they were in the past. Nowadays, one can spend a lot of time talking to people over a screen, and this is not going to fulfil their needs in the same way. Being disconnected from others in this way can have a negative effect on their wellbeing. One Focus But with that aside, if one does reach out for the assistance they need, they could end up talking to their doctor. Alternatively, one could end up going online and doing an internet search. If they were to take the first option, their doctor might refer them to someone; whereas if were to take the second option, they would be able to find someone for themselves. It is all going to depend on what one feels comfortable with, and if they feel the need to do their own research. The Easiest Option One could believe that it will be better for them to take the first option, as this will stop them from doing the wrong thing. Thus, through taking this route, one may find that it is only a matter of time before they get the assistance they need. If one was to take the other option, they could find that they are not sure what to do; in fact, one could end up being overwhelmed by all the options that are available. But, if one was to take the first option and it didn’t work, they could end up looking into who they can find online. Moving Forward And although one could look online and find it confusing, they might soon find someone who they believe can assist them. Either way, through working with a therapist, they may find that their mental and emotional health starts to improve. It could then be said that one is being rewarded for taking action, and this wouldn’t have been the case if they continued to behave as they did. This could be seen as the ideal scenario. Another Outcome However, while this could take place, one could find that their life ends up getting worse through having therapy. There would have been the pain they were in at the beginning, and now there is pain they are in through having it. If one was already carrying trauma, this could end up being something that is even harder for them to handle. It could then be hard for one to understand why something that was meant to help them has ended up harming them. A Closer Look What this can show is that one is working with the wrong sex, and this is because they might have been harmed by this sex in the past. It will then be necessary for them to work with a different sex. Another thing this could come down to is that one is going back into what happened when they experience trauma. Through going back into the experience, it is then causing them to be re-traumatized. Or, if one has been working with someone for little while and nothing has happened, it could be as if they are back in the situation where they had no control. One can then feel as though their life will never change. Awareness These are just some of the ways in which one can be re-traumatized through having therapy, and there are many more. If one can relate to these or any others, it will be vital for them to take a step back. This may be a time when they will need to speak with their therapist, or they might need to cut their ties and to find someone else. The key will be for them to know what kind of therapist they need.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
To book your 15-Minute Introductory Consultation, click here.
Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
My Books...
|