When someone has just started to date another person, they can find that they feel really good. They are then still going to be on the same planet that they were on before they met this person, but it can be as if they have been taken somewhere else.
This area of their life is going to be good and just about every other area of their life could end up benefitting too. The good feelings that they experience in relation to this person will end up being directed towards other part of their life. One Focus However, while having this person in their life will have a positive effect on their wellbeing, they may find that it is hard for them to focus on other areas of their life. Like a child that has a new bike waiting for them at home, their attention may typically be on this person. So, when they are at work, they might not be able to perform in the same way as they usually would. Then again, they might be able to out this person to one side when they need to. On Cloud Nine They will have both started off as separate beings and they still will be, but it could be as if they have merged into one being. The experience that both of them had of being merged with their mother as a baby may have returned, with them regressing to symbiotic childlike state. Just about all of their troubles and worries may have faded into the background, thanks to the connection that they have with each other. The chemicals that have been released in their brain will undoubtedly play a big part in all this The Trip Continues The weeks and months can then go by and everything can continue to go in the same direction. Due to how good both of them feel when they are together and when they are apart, it may seem as though they are on a holiday that will never end. This is not to say that the odd issue won’t arise, but if it does, it might not have much of an impact on their relationship. But, just as a real holiday will come to an end at some point, there is a chance that something will happen sooner or later that will bring these people back down to earth. Out of Nowhere One could do or say something and the other person could end up completely losing it. After this, one could stay centred and try to find out what is going on, or they could behave in the same way and add even more fuel to the fire. Alternatively, one could find out that their partner has been having an affair or that they were already in a relationship with someone else. After finding out about this, they could end up hitting rock bottom emotionally. Two Experiences If something small takes place, such as their partner losing it, they may find that everything is fine after a little while. A small fire will have appeared and it won’t have taken long to put it out. Yet, if something big has taken place, such as their partner having an affair, it might not be this simple. A huge fire will have appeared and it might not even be possible for it to go out. Confusion Irrespective of what takes place, one is likely to find that certain feelings will arise within them. If their partner loses it, the feelings might not be as strong as if they were the ones who were to lose it. Nevertheless, emotional pain will have come up to the surface and it might be hard for them to comprehend why this has happened. That is unless they are not even aware of their feelings and just react to what is going on. The Purpose If one believed that they had found ‘the one’ and that this area of their life would always run smoothly, it is naturally going to be a challenge for them to accept what is going on. What has taken place won’t be the main problem, though; what will be the main problem are the expectations that they had. Their response to what has happened would most likely be very different if they believed that they are brought together with the people who will trigger their wounds and allow them to heal and to grow as a reuslt. This would enable them to see that while it may seem as though another person has caused them to feel a certain way, there is usually far more to it. The Story Being out of touch with what is going on within them and focusing on what is taking place ‘out there’ will distract them from what is actually going on. It will then be normal for them to get caught up in what their partner has or hasn’t done, getting lost in the drama. Ultimately, what is going on is simply there to bring up to the surface the parts of themselves that they need to heal. Therefore, if one gets caught up in what is going on externally and overlooks what is going on internally, they are going to be caught up in an illusion (Maya). A Few Examples If their partner has the tendency to lose it and they end up walking on eggshells, it could show that they had to do the same thing around one of their caregivers. This person is then triggering fear, along with anger and rejection, amongst others things, that have been within them for years. Conversely, if their partner has had an affair and this knocks them sideways, it could show that they experienced a lot of neglect during their early years. The anger, rejection, abandonment and the sense of being worthless that they may feel now, will probably go back to how they felt when they were a dependent child. Awareness Getting caught up in what is going on (the story) can set one up to feel like a victim and to suffer unnecessarily. And instead of being able to see that the other person has been brought in their life to aid in their evolution (they might not know this consciously), they will blame them. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to heal their wounds, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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For quite some time now, it has been said that there are a lot of people who are not in a good way internally. When something like this is spoken about in the media, the words ‘depression’, ‘anxiety’ and ‘suicidal’ are often mentioned.
It can then seem as though this is a fairly new problem and that everything was fine before. Another way of looking at it would be to say that the primary difference is that this is something that has only just started to be acknowledged. Into The Light In the past, then, external problems were the only problems that were given much attention, with inner problems being largely overlooked. Thus, if someone had an inner problem, they would have had to deny its existence. Thankfully, times have changed, and now someone no longer needs to deny a big part of themselves. In other words, it will be possible for them to embrace their whole being. The Reason When inner problems are mentioned, a number of reasons are usually out forward as to why someone would have them. One of the common ones is that this is what will happen to someone if they have a ‘chemical imbalance’. Another thing can be put forward is that this is what takes place when someone’s thoughts are out of control. Being isolated from others and spending too much time by oneself is another thing that can be mentioned. The Solution Taking all this into account, there will be something that one can do if they are suffering internally. They may need to take certain drugs to rebalance their inner imbalance, to monitor their mind or to spend more time around others. Then again, they may need to embrace each of these options and then their life will be back on track. But regardless of whether this approach will or won’t work, it is clear that it will be what could be described as a very surface level approach. A Deeper Look Irrespective of whether someone’s inner problems are seen as the result of a ‘chemical imbalance’ or their thoughts; it can be as though their being is just playing up. In the same way that an appliance can be faulty, their being will also be faulty. The big question is, why is their inner world the way it is? In the same way that an appliance doesn’t just play up, neither does a human being – there is going to be a reason why their inner world is the way it is. One Factor Now, while it is a good thing that peoples inner worlds are being given more attention in today’s world, would it be a surprise if the drug industry has played a big part in this? This could sound like a conspiracy theory, but what can’t be denied is that this industry now has a whole new area to profit from. There will different organisations that will come up with different labels for what people are going through, providing legitimacy, and then this industry will supply the drugs for their ‘disorders’. In the same way that this industry has defined what kind of relationship that so many people have with their body, it is now defining what kind of relationship so many people with their inner world, and it will condition them to see their drugs as the answer to their problems. Another Factor So, clearly, this industry is going to want people to accept the ‘chemical imbalance’ view and to not look any deeper. This can be hard to accept, yet what needs to be remembered is that their main priority is to make money, not to help people. And when it comes to going deeper, there is a strong chance that someone will come into contact with something that they would rather avoid. So, as the human mind has the need to avoid pain and to live on the surface, it is not a surprise that the modern-day world often lacks depth and is primarily focused on surface level things. A Key Factor When it comes to going deeper, it relates to going into the body and coming into connect with the parts of oneself that have been pushed aside. What someone may find, if they were to do this, is that they will experience things that they haven’t experienced since they were very small. Not only is this hard to do, it can also result in them having to come to terms with how their caregivers treated them at this stage of their life. And if they have an idealised version of them, it can be very hard for them to acknowledge what took place. An Easier Option Due to how painful it can be to embrace this pain and to face up to what took place during their early years, it can be a lot simpler for them to live on the surface of themselves and to try to treat the symptoms of their abuse. What this won’t do, however, is allow them to develop self-knowledge or to become an integrated human being. Perhaps their early years were a time when they were physically and/or verbally abused, and they may have been neglected. This would have had an effect on their brain and it would have traumatised their being. Conclusion The need for someone to protect their parents is something that Alice Miller goes into in her books. She goes into how even though someone can be an adult, letting go of their false view of them and standing up to them can bring up their early trauma around being harmed and/or abandoned. If someone can relate to what has been said, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
One thing that is likely to stand out for someone who has lived in the western world for at least fifty years, is how sexualised it has become. The reason it will stand out so clearly for someone like this is because they would have been around before it was this way.
They will be able to compare how it was, with how it is, and this will allow them to see things that a lot of younger people are unlikely to see. For people like this, what is going on will just be normal. Criticism If the person above was to point out about how different it is and to lament what is going on, they might end up being told that they are too uptight. It will then be as though people have more freedom to express themselves in today’s world, while one grew up during a time when it was more inhibited. Upon hearing this, one could say that while people might have more sexual freedom nowadays, they have less real freedom. They may point out that, in the past, there were fewer laws and there were no cameras watching their every move. A Mirage Taking this into account, it will be as if people are more contained than they were before, but as there are so many things to keep them occupied, it can be hard for them to realise what is going on. It is then the equivalent of inmates having so many toys (gadgets) to play with that they end up forgetting that they are in prison. Through having so many things to do, it will take away their need to really express themselves and to ask questions. This will be the panem et circenses (bread and circuses) that will stop them from staging an uprising. Sex Sells And if someone has been on this planet for a little while, there is the chance that they will be able to see how sexualised the entertainment industry is. When it comes to musicians, for instance, it will be clear that there is less focus on the music than there was in the past. This is because so many female singers wear very little during most performances, creating the impression that they are in the wrong industry. Based on what they are wearing and the fact that so many of them can’t actually sing, it might be more suitable for them to work in the adult business. A Big Impact Hundreds of thousands of girls, if not millions, end up watching these musicians and end up dressing in the same manner. Low on confidence, dressing like this will end up being a way for them to feel good about themselves. Lacking inner security, they will be completely dependent on the responses of others. Their body will then be seen as something that they can use to gain attention and approval from others. Another Example And although it is unlikely that someone will be able to watch porn on mainstream TV, it won’t be hard for them to watch it if they have a device. Therefore, even though it is not part of mainstream society, it is a big part of so many people’s lives. As so much of it is free, it has meant that numerous people have asked how these companies make their money and if there is another purpose for their existence. It is well known that too much porn can cause erectile dysfunction and make it harder for both men and women to enjoy real sex and to have healthy relationships, so it wouldn’t exactly be a conspiracy theory to say that porn is perhaps another way to screw up the citizenry. Two Sides There is going to be the effect that living in a sexualised society has on women and there is going to be the effect it has on men. It is likely to result in some women being hyper-sexualised beings and some men being obsessed with sex. When this is what happens for a woman, not only is she likely to neglect other parts of her being and to be out of balance, she is also going to be using her sexuality in a very destructive way. Wearing very little will give her a lot of power, power that needs to be respected and used in the right way, not used to control or manipulate. The Other Side This is then no different to how a man’s physical strength can give him a lot of power, with this also being something that he will need to respect and use in the right way. Both women and men need a certain level of maturity and inner security to be able to use their feminine and masculine power in the right way. When a man does end up becoming obsessed with sex, he is also likely to neglect other areas of his life and to become out of balance. No matter whether he is online or offline, his mind can be thinking about one thing. A Wasted Life If he is online, he will have an unlimited amount of porn to look through and if he was to use a dating app, he will come across hundreds of women who are wearing very little. Going out into the real world won’t exactly help, as he is likely to come across women who leave little to the imagination and advertisements that show half naked women. What all this will do is make it incredibly difficult for him to focus on what he can do to develop himself and what he can contribute to the world. And, regardless of whether he spends lot of time masturbating or having sex with random women, he is going to be wasting his energy on things that will add very little to his life or the lives of others. Conclusion If a man finds it hard to accept this, he could take the time to reflect on how different his life would be if he was no longer obsessed with sex. With more time and energy, he could do so much more with his life. To do this, it is going to take willpower, discipline and perseverance, and there may even be some deeper issues that he needs to work through. The reason for this is that being sexually aroused may be a way for him to avoid emotional pain and trauma. If this is the case, it may be necessary for him to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Although human beings are feeling beings who think as opposed to thinking beings who feel, this is not something that is widely recognised. In general, it’s as if human beings are primarily thinking beings that also have feelings.
So, in the same way that the tip of the iceberg is the smallest part of an iceberg, the feeling part of a human being will be the smallest part of them. The mind, then, is going to be far more important than the emotional part of their being. Cast Aside A clear example of this outlook can be found in the education system, with how the emotional part of a human being is typically ignored. The main focus here is usually for someone’s mind to be educated (indoctrinated). Yet, if this is the main part of someone’s being and their emotional self is very small, why do anything else? Clearly, it would be a complete waste of time for someone to spend time trying to understand part of their being that is so small and insignificant. The Solution If someone does struggle with their emotions, they are likely to find that there is plenty of support available. Through working with a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, for instance, one may learn how to manage their emotions. This is likely to be a time when they will be told that their thoughts create their feelings - which makes sense considering that their emotional self is very small - and through managing their thoughts, they will be able to sort their emotions out. A simple answer to a very simple problem will have been provided. Two Sides But, if someone doesn’t find it hard to manage this part of them, what they may find is that it is hard for them to connect with their feelings. What this can mean is that they will spend a fair amount of time in their head and very little time in their body. Through experiencing life in this way, it may mean that they are unable to form deeper connections with others and that they look towards the external world when it comes to how to live their life. The Norm If they were to come see that they are generally out of touch with how they feel, it could show that something significant has taken place in their life. The reason for this is that experiencing life in this way could have been normal, meaning that it wouldn’t have stood out before. Perhaps it has become hard for them to experience life in this way, having experienced years and years of loneliness and a sense of inner emptiness. What may have also played a part is that someone in their life may have passed on or they may have been in a relationship that came to an end, which would have opened them up emotionally. Two Extremes One could then have gone from a very disconnected place, to being completely overwhelmed by how they feel. At one point in time they would have been in a desert and, at another, they would have been in a jungle. If this was to happen, one may struggle to go along with the view that their emotional self is very small compared with their mental self. What might seem more accurate would be to say that their emotional self is far bigger than their mental self. An Inaccurate View What they may try to do at this stage is to manage their feelings by changing their thoughts, only for this approach to be of no use whatsoever. It will be clear that the mental part of their being is the tip of the iceberg, not the other way around. What will be perfectly clear is that they are a feeling being who thinks, not a thinking being who feels. For many, many years, if not most of their life, then, one will have denied a big part of who they are, and now they will be in touch with it again. The Cause If this was how they had been for as long as they can remember, it can show that this part of their being was more or less ignored during their early years. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected during this time, and their caregivers may have also been emotionally disconnected. It would have been clear that their feelings were not important and would not be acknowledged, so losing touch with them would have been a way for them to avoid pain. This part of their being would have informed them about how bad their environment was, something that they wouldn’t have been able to change. The Only Choice The ideal would have been for them to listen to their feelings and to get out of the dysfunctional environment, but this wasn’t something that they could have done. The only option that was available to them was to lose touch with a big part of themselves. Leaving the environment wasn’t possible, yet leaving their body was something that they could do. The only alternative to doing this would have been for them to stay in their body and to be overwhelmed with pain. Awareness If they felt safe enough to exist during this stage of their life and their feelings were acknowledged, there would have been no reason for them to become a divided human being. Ultimately, the time in their life when they should have been able to grow and develop, was a time when they had to do everything they could to survive. If someone can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When someone gets into a relationship, they may believe that they have finally met their match. What they have been through in the past, when it comes to this area of their life, is then going to be well and truly over.
At one point, it will have been as though they were on a stormy sea and now, they will be on calm waters. There is then going to be no more bumps - the path in front of them will be completely flat. An Unexpected Outcome However, although this may be how one currently sees this area of their life, it doesn’t mean that their external world will match up with what is taking place in their mind as time goes by. What they could find is that their partner ends up pulling away as time goes by or that they come up too strong. If the former takes place, one could end up feeling rejected and abandoned, and what may follow is the feeling of being worthless. Yet, if the latter takes place, they could end up feeling smothered and trapped, which could result in them feeling powerless. Confusion If something like this was to take place, the first thing that one could do is to blame their partner. Instead of stepping back and reflecting on what is taking place, what is going on externally will be seen as the issue. As a result of this, their partner could end up reacting negatively to what they say, creating even more disharmony. Another thing that could take place is that the relationship could simply come to an end. A Similar Scenario At the same time, while one of the occurrences above could be what has taken place, it could be slightly different. So, instead of them feeling rejected and abandoned because their partner has actually pulled away, they could feel this way if their partner has a lot going on at work, for instance, and is unable to spend as much time with them as they usually would. And, while they could be feeling smothered and trapped due to their partner coming on too strong, they could feel this way whenever they express their needs. No matter what is going on, then, it will lead to a fair amount of internal discomfort. The Early Stages If one was fine before they got into a relationship with this person, they may wonder what is going on. But, while they may have been fine up until this point, there is also the chance that it is not this black and white. They may have only been seeing this person for a few weeks and had number of intense experiences during this time. Perhaps there was time when they didn’t hear from them for a little while, with this resulting in them feeling fearful and as though they had been rejected. Attached This may have been a time when they simply reacted to how they were feeling, doing what they could to get the other person to respond. Alternatively, they may have pushed down how they felt and tried to act normal. Their need to make a good impression at this point may have stopped them from criticising the other person. Based on how they felt, the last thing they would have wanted was for them to stop talking to them altogether. One Outlook One way of looking at what took place earlier on and/or what is taking place now that they are in a relationship would be to say that one is simply overacting. Ergo, the best thing for them to do would be to make sure that they don’t get caught up their ‘irrational’ feelings. One could end up coming to believe that they need to be mindful of what is taking place in their head, due to the fact that their thoughts create their feelings. It is then going to be all about what is going on up top. A Deeper Look Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason all these feelings have been coming up is because they have become emotionally attached to another person, which has allowed their early wounds to be brought up to the surface. Consciously, one may not see the other person as their caregiver, but unconsciously, this can be exactly how they see them. At a deeper level, part of them will look towards their partner to give them what their caregivers didn’t give them, and when this doesn’t happen, how they felt during their early years will come back up to the surface. And not only will how they felt during their early years be triggered when their partner doesn’t behave in a certain way, this can also take place even if this part of them assumes that something has taken place. Deep Pain There is then going to be no need for clear evidence to be provided in order for their early wounds to be opened up. What complicates this even further is that although this part of them will want to receive what it didn’t receive all those years ago, experiencing the same experiences over and over again will be what feels safe. When their wounds are opened up, they can end up feeling like a needy and dependent child. Perhaps their early years were a time in their life when their needs were rarely, if ever met, meaning that they would have been spent a lot of time feeling rejected and abandoned. Awareness The years will have passed since that stage of their life but the trauma that they experienced will still be within them. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In today’s world it is often believed that there are two ways to be in life, and one of these ways is often seen as good and another is often seen as bad. The first is to take action and to take life by the horns, which is the good way, and the second option is to be lazy and to sit around doing nothing, which is the bad way.
It is then as though there is no middle ground here; one is either a doer or they are someone who doesn’t do anything. In addition to this, they can either receive positive feedback from others or they can end up being put down. Socially Acceptable Behaviour So, then, if someone is a go getter and doesn’t sit around like some people do, they are typically going to be seen as someone who lives in the right way. What could add to this is that one may have achieved a fair amount of material success. Through being in this position, it will be seen as further evidence that they are behaving in the right way. What this comes down to is that material success is often seen as a sign of how well someone is doing in life. The Reason What this person owns will then be a reflection of what they have done up until this point in their life. Therefore, it if wasn’t for everything they had done, their life would be very different. Their life would be more like the life of someone who just sits around and doesn’t do anything. Unlike these kinds of people, one won’t be willing to sit around and to wait for things to just happen. The Other Experience If someone does sit around and doesn’t do a lot, they could end up be labelled as being lazy. Other people could tell them that they need to stop sitting around and to do something with their life. Someone like this might not live on the street, but they probably won’t have a lot compared with the person above. One may have been told on a number of occasions that they are not on this planet to waste time. The Solution In order for one to get themselves out of this position and to make something of their life, it will be essential for them to take action. Instead of sitting around all the time, it will be vital for them to become a doer. Behaving in this will allow them to pull themselves out of the hole that they are in and to attain material success. And, once they have done this, they will be seen as someone who has ‘made it’ in the modern day world. An Analogy One way of looking at this would be to say that when one sits around and doesn’t do anything, they will be like a broken down car. But, when they are someone who takes action, they will be like a car that is always in use. One will have gone from one extreme to another, with this being the ‘answer’ to most of their problems. However, while a car can sit around or be driving around for just about every moment of the day, it can also have moments when it sits around and moments when it drives around. Back To Reality In the same way, a human being can also have moments when they sit back and just be, and they can have moments when they take action and do. After all, there is a reason why human beings are called human beings and not human doings. Even so, a lot of people on this planet are human beings in name only, having lost the ability to just be. As a result of this, surrendering to life is something that is rarely even spoken about, let alone something that rarely takes place, and, even if it is, it is often seen as something that is negative or weak. The Meaning If someone was to think about this word, what could come to mind is throwing the towel in, so to speak, and giving up. Yet, even if this meaning doesn’t come to mind, what could come to mind is simply sitting around and waiting for things to happen. So, thanks to the conditioning that they will have received over the years, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to be repelled by this idea. Ultimately, one is going to want to be in the driver’s seat, not simply lying in the back of the car whilst someone else drives. A Big Challenge When one surrenders it doesn’t mean that they are giving up; what it means is that they are giving up control and trusting that everything will happen as it needs to. This is not another technique, though, it is what happens when one fully lets go and is able to embrace their body. One of the reasons why this can be hard to do is because ones body can carry a fair amount of emotional pain, meaning that getting out of their head and being in their body can be overwhelming. Taking action and trying to make everything happen, on the other hand, can allow them to avoid this pain. Other Factors If they were able to get in touch with their body and to tune into how they feel, they may get a lot of insight as to why they have been unable to surrender. During this time, all kinds of feelings may arise. They could end up feeling worthless, rejected, and abandoned, wondering if anything will happen if they allow thesmevles to surrender and only take inspired action. This can be a sign that their early years were not very nurturing. Back In Time When one was born, not only would they have been a human being in the truest sense of the word, they would have also not been able to do a lot. This was then a time in their life when they had no other choice than to surrender and to trust that their needs would be met. Nonetheless, while this was the case, they may have been brought up by caregivers who were not attuned to their needs. Consequently, one may have spent a lot of time feeling rejected and abandoned, and this would have caused them to experience a fair amount of shame. A Big Impact The time in their life when they did surrender would have been very traumatic, so it is not going to be a surprise that they find it hard to surrender as an adult. The people who they trusted to look after them would have let them down, so why would they trust the universe (or another description that works for them) to be there for them? As they were not there for them, it would have most likely set them up to believe that it was because they didn’t deserve to have their needs met. This will be the reason why they believe that they don’t deserve to receive anything from the universe either. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they no longer want to struggle and strain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. By working through the trauma that is within them, they will gradually be able to settle into their body and to trust in life. It is highly unlikely that this will take place overnight – it will take patience and persistence.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When a brand released a short film a little while ago focusing on ‘Toxic masculinity’, a lot was said about how it demonized men in general. One part of the short film that stood out for a lot of people was where men were lined up in front of BBQs, with this being a clear example of men who had been castrated.
Naturally, it would have been too blatant if these men’s penises had been chopped off and were on the BBQs, and it would have been too explicit too. So what they did, to get around this, was to have them lined up in front of a BBQ with a sausage cooking. A Well-Thought-Out Advert This is then one example that surely shows that this short film was not simply written in one afternoon and then quickly thrown together soon after. It is also highly likely that every detail of it was scrutinised before it was released. Now, this wouldn’t have taken place to make sure that the short film wouldn’t offend anyone; it would have been done to make sure that it wouldn’t offend the wrong people. It is socially acceptable to lay into men; whereas the same can’t be said about women. A Clear Sign The fact that this company hasn’t created a short film shaming women, and it is unlikely that they ever will, backs this up. The socially acceptable narrative is that women are good and men are bad - a clear sign of black and white thinking. Due to this, men are going to be the ones who need to sort it out because women are already sorted. It is then as if men are these primitive beings, whilst women are highly evolved beings. Divide and Rule It is clear that this narrative does more harm than good, creating unnecessary tension and anger between men and women. Even so, this narrative makes it easier for the establishment to control the citizenry. Instead of people being able to work together, they end up fighting each other. This doesn’t lead to anything positive in the long run; the only thing it does is allows the establishment to direct people in a certain direction. The Reality Ultimately, men and women are here to complement each other and to balance each other out, not to fight each other. What makes it easier for the establishment to divide men and women is the trauma that so many people carry. The inner wounds that they have in relation to their own mothers and fathers end up being projected onto other people. The outcome of this is that early childhood dynamics end up being continually replayed, creating endless drama in the process. The Big Problem If it was easy for someone to see how their inner wounds are being mirrored back to them externally, they would be able to limit the amount of drama that they add to the world. But as the mind has all kinds of defences to make sure that it doesn’t have to face pain, it can make it more or less impossible for someone to realise what is going on and to take responsibility for their own pain. Their problems are then going to be out there instead of within them, which will just about guarantee that they wont face themselves. Still, someone like this could be all for changing the world, even though they are not up for changing themselves. Another Scene Along with the part of the short film that had a number of castrated men lined up, there was another part that had a big impact on a lot of people. This was the part where a man goes to speak to a woman and another guy physically stops him from going forward. The other guy basically says that what he is trying to do is not a good thing and restrains him. Based on how this other man responded to him, it is as though he was about to go and harm the woman. An Odd Scenario In reality, this man was going to do something that is perfectly normal – to approach a woman he is attracted to. This scene is then making out that there is something inherently wrong with doing this. What this scene is saying is that when a man sees an attractive woman and wants to talk to her, he wants to do something that is wrong. This, of course, plays into the narrative that men are all misogynists who just want to mistreat women. A Deeper Look To condition men to believe that it is wrong to respectfully approach a woman is undoubtedly a great way to divide men and women and to lower the population. If they are not forming connections and having children, there is only one way for the population to go. Another view that has been put forward is that this is something that toxic feminists promote due to their own envy. As a result of what they look like and how they behave, these women might not be approached by men, and, as this can make it hard for them to handle it when other women do get approached, their envy can give them the need to make sure that other women don’t experience what they cant have. Conclusion A woman like this can then make out that she is a virtuous human being and all the rest of it, yet this will simply be a facade. And if a man doesn’t approach women in the real world, what is he supposed to do? Sure, he can use dating apps, but it will be a lot harder for a man to authentically connect to a woman using these apps and if he doesn’t have the right appearance, he might not get very far either. It has been proven that only a small percentage of men are successful online. If a man was to develop himself and became good at approaching, he will be able to express who he is and to find out if he actually likes a woman, without being ignored based on his external appearance. He can take this area of his life into his own hands as opposed to passively waiting around for a match from a woman who he might not even get on with in the real world.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Critical Thinking: Can Black And White Thinking Stop Someone From Being Able To Think Clearly?21/2/2019
When it comes to painting a picture of nature, the more colours that someone has the more detail there will be in what they create. If they only had two colours, they wouldn’t have the same freedom to express themselves.
In the same way, if someone is able to see that life is made up of many different elements and isn’t limited to seeing it in one way or another, their life will be far richer. Their life will then be like a pallet that is made up of many different colours as opposed to one that only contains two colours. No Effort Clearly, it is doesn’t take much energy to see something or someone as being either good or bad. But, while this will save a fair amount of energy, what it won’t do is to allow one to gain a balanced outlook. When this takes place, one won’t be using their brain; they will just be reacting to what is going on. Still, there can be certain times when it is will be necessary to function in this way. For Example Let’s say that someone was in a rush and they needed to choose something to eat at a cafe. They could go over a few things and say that they are no good, before finding one thing that will be classed as a good. This will mean that there will only have been two extremes but as they were only looking for something to eat it wouldn’t have mattered. They would have saved energy and, most importantly, they would have saved time. Daily Life When it comes to just about every other moment in their life, they may realise that this approach would do more harm than good. This will often mean that they will need more time and use more energy, but it will be worth it. For example, one may disagree with what a friend of theirs has said or not like what they have done. Yet, even though this will be the case, it doesn’t mean that they will label them as being ‘bad’ or fall out with them. A Balanced Mind Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that part of them won’t want to do exactly that; what it means is that they won’t be attached to this part of them. One will then be able to see that regardless of what another person has said or done, it doesn’t mean that this has turned them into a one dimensional human being. Ultimately, this will show that their mind is working in the right way. Through responding in this way, they will be able to maintain the relationship that they have developed with this person. The Media Being this way is also going to make it easier for them to spot when the media is trying to manipulate them. For example, if they were to read something that tries to paint one race as or one gender as being a certain way, they would be able to see what is going on. A race or a gender would have been stripped of their humanity, only having one side to their nature. It will instantly stand out that this source of information is trying to define how they see a race/gender. The Education System If one went to college/university, they may have even been exposed to what is classed as ‘identity politics’. This is where some people are seen as oppressors and some people are seen as the oppressed, and what will define which category someone falls into is usually their skin colour, gender or sexual orientation. It could then be said that this system is the embodiment of black and white thinking. Human beings are no longer seen as individuals who are made up of many different elements; they are put into different boxes and are then seen as either good or bad. A Strange Scenario If this was something that was being taught by a cult it wouldn’t be a surprise, but as it is being taught by the so-called education system, one really has to wonder what the hell has happened to these places. Still, this is something that very much fits in with the view that these places teach people what to think, not how to think. Anyway, as one is doesn’t see life as being black and white, this propaganda probably wouldn’t have worked on them. At times, they may have even thought about if they should have been doing the teaching. A Destructive Effect What this illustrates is how essential it is for someone to be able to think clearly and not to have the inclination see life though a black/white or good/bad lens. This will have a positive effect on their relationships, make it easier for them to spot propaganda and allow them to see people as individuals, amongst other things. Without this ability, someone can end up casting people aside if they do or say something they don’t like, discriminate against people because of what they look like or what their sexual orientation is and fall for the propaganda that the establishment spews out. Being this way will remove a lot of colour from the world; it will be as if they are seeing everything in black and white. A Closer Look If someone experiences life in this way and is unable to tolerate ambiguity, it can show that they find it hard to handle their emotions. The reason for this is that in order for one to see the complete picture and embrace the intricacies of life, they will need to be able to handle the emotions that will come up within them. Therefore, if someone finds it hard to handle certain emotions, it will be normal for them to use the defence mechanism know as ‘splitting’. Though only being able to embrace certain emotions, other emotions will need to be pushed down, setting them up to have a lopsided view of life and themselves. Awareness If someone is unable to think clearly it can be easy to assume that they need to learn how to think, yet it can be more important for them to integrate the emotional part of their being. Once this takes place, it is likely to be easier for them to operate as a whole human being. If someone is unable to handle their emotions it can be a sign that they are carrying trauma that is waiting to be resolved. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are women in the world who will be only too happy to surrender to a man, while there are women out there who won’t. As a result of this, these women are going to have radically different expectations.
Therefore, there will be what the first group of women look for and then there are going to be what the second group of women look for. But, regardless of what view a woman has, this could be how she has been for quiet some tome. The First Type When it comes to a woman who is happy to surrender to a man, it won’t mean that she will want a man to dominate and even abuse her. What it will mean is that she will be willing to give herself over to a man, without needing to be in control of what happens. This is not just going to be any man; it will be a man who she is able to trust and who respects her. The woman will then choose to be in this position, which means that she will also be able to take a step back if she needs to. The Key Ingredients Clearly, then, this is something that can only take place if a woman and a man are in the right place. If the man is deeply insecure, has the need to control the woman and lacks maturity, he will most likely end up abusing the trust that has been given to him. On the other hand, if the woman is also deeply insecure and is unable to fully trust a man, it won’t be possible for her to fully let go. It will be as if someone behind her is asking her to drop back, but she won’t be able to do so. Firm Foundations Once these parts are more or less in place, a woman will be able to let go and the man will typically be able to handle the power that he has been given. It will then be up to him to lead and to make the right decisions. This won’t be about him doing what he wants and completely disregarding the woman’s needs; it will be about him being aware of what the woman needs and doing what he can to fulfil her needs. And, when the man acts in this way, it will allow the woman to take a break and to drop into her feminine side. A Welcome Relief There is the chance that when it comes to other areas of her life, she will spend a fair amount of time exercising her masculine element. Whether it relates to making decisions at work or having other things to do, her feminine element will be pushed aside. Taking this into account, when a woman surrenders to a man, it doesn’t mean that her masculine element will be cast aside forever. There will be moments when she utilizes this part of her being and moments when she doesn’t. The Second Type When it comes to a woman who is not interested in surrendering to a man, it can be due to what has happened in the past. Perhaps she has given herself over to men, only to be taken advantage of. Her feminine side could then be seen as a weakness, and she may have even lost touch with this part of her being. If she was to get into a relationship, it could be with a man who has just about lost touch with his masculine side. Inner Conflict From the outside, it could seem as though the woman is like a mother and the man is like a son. And, even though being with a man like this will allow her to stay in control, it doesn’t mean that she will be happy deep down. Even though she will have chosen a man like this, she could still complain that he doesn’t stand his ground and lacks backbone. It will then be as though she has ordered a meal and once it arrives, she will complain that it’s the wrong meal. Another Scenario In order for a woman like this to have a fulfilling relationship, it is likely that she will need to look into what is taking place within her and to heal her inner wounds. However, while there will be women out there who can no longer surrender to a man due to what has taken place in their past, there will be plenty of women who do even though they have been treated badly time and time again. It could then be said that not only will they attract the wrong type of men, they will also lack the ability to know if a man is a decent human being. One approach would be for them to focus purely on the signs that a man like this displays – the red flags. Another Route Another approach would be for them to look into why they are continually drawn to men who want to take advantage of them. At a conscious level, being with a man like this is going to cause them to suffer, but unconsciously, it is likely to be what feels safe. This might be hard for them to accept, especially as it will have felt anything but safe to be with a man like this. Even so, the reason that being with a man like this feels safe is likely to be the result of what took place during their early years. Back In Time At this time in their life, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who abused them in some way. They would have been incredibly vulnerable, yet this caregiver wouldn’t have been able to treat them in the right way. The trouble is that even though this time in their life would have been very traumatising, it would have come to be associated as what is familiar to their ego mind and to this part of them, what is familiar is classed as what is safe. It is then going to be perfectly normal for them to recreate what took place during their early years, even though it caused them so much pain. Awareness What this illustrates is how much of an effect someone’s early years can have on their adult life. Until someone looks into what happened and deals with their inner wounds, they will continue to play out what took place when they were younger. If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone was given the option of experiencing extreme joy or extreme sadness, there is the chance that they would go for the former. It feels good to feel good; whereas it feels bad to feel bad.
Based on this, it could be said that it is easy to see why someone would want to feel good all the time. Experiencing life in this way will have a positive effect on their wellbeing and it will allow them to spread ‘positive vibes’ wherever they go. One Outlook Life could be seen as being too short to feel sad and down, and that this doesn’t do any good. Along with this, they could say that if they allow themselves to be consumed by negativity, they will end up experiencing more of the same. One is then going to be aware of the ‘law of attraction’ and they are not going to want to send anything bad out into the universe. There are going to be plenty of books out here that will support what they believe. A Battle Still, even though one can prefer to feel good over what they see as the alternative, it doesn’t mean that one will always be able to experience life in this way. What they may find is that there are times when it is incredibly difficult for them to experience positive feelings. During these moments of their life, it could be as though they are in the middle of the ocean, trying to keep their head above the water. The difference is that they won’t be trying to keep their head above the water; they will be trying to keep their head above negative feelings. Out of Nowhere When this takes place, it may appear as though they are experiencing negative feelings for no apparent reason. There are then going to be other times when they are aware of why they feel low. For example, a loved one may have passed on and this can be a time when they feel wiped out. Yet, they may do their best to make sure that their negative feelings don’t weigh them down for too long. A Justification They could believe that this person wouldn’t want them to be sad now that they are gone, with this being another reason why they should do what they can to be positive. There are then going to be things that take place externally and internally that have an impact on their emotional state. What they may do, to make it easier for them to be positive, is to cut their ties with anyone who is negative. Cutting out any negative information may be another thing that they do try to stay upbeat. One Big Struggle It is not going to be a surprise if they often end up feeling incredibly drained and burnt out from time to time, due to how much effort they out into trying to stay positive. There could even be moments when they just can’t do it anymore and end up being consumed by negative feelings. This doesn’t mean that they will try another approach, though, as they could just get back on their feet and dust themselves off. Even so, the same thing will probably end up taking place again in a little while. What is going on? One way of looking at this would be to say that there are bound to be moments in their life when they fall off the positivity horse, so to speak, and need to get back on again. The key will be for them to not get attached to their negative feelings and to reconnect to their positive feelings as soon as they can. Another way of looking at all this would be to say that it is a way of being that is not built on firm foundations. This is the plane of duality after all, which is why it is not possible to completely remove one side of the emotional spectrum. The power of Contrast Not only this, it is through having the ability to experience ‘negative’ feelings that one is able to appreciate experiencing ‘positive’ feelings. If they were stuck in an endless state of positivity, it would no longer have the same impact on them – they would almost certainly become bored and numb. Therefore, being able to experience both sides of the emotional spectrum gives life meaning and depth. The big question is: why would someone have the need to feel good practically all the time? Avoidance What this can show is that the reason one needs to be positive all the time is due to the fact that they can’t handle their negative emotions. What this means, then, is that being positive is a defence that their mind utilizes to avoid the pain in their body. And the reason that they are carrying so much emotional pain could be because they are carrying trauma. No matter how many positive thoughts or feelings that they have or how much positivity they surround themselves with, it is highly unlikely that this pain will simply disappear. Diving In The pain that is in within their body will need to be worked through and, as this takes place, they may find that they don’t have the same need to be positive. The reason for this is that they will become more balanced within, allowing them to be with how they feel. One will then see that they are more than both their positive and their negative feelings. They will start to find their centre, no longer being tossed around like a small boat on the ocean. Awareness Taking this into account, if one wants to operate as a whole human being and no longer wants to disconnect from their body, it will be essential for them to heal their pain. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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