Self-Development: Can Someone Look Outside For Answers If They Are Out Of Touch With Their Body?18/2/2019
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for people to buy self-help books, with the hope that they will provide them with the answers that they are looking for. Perhaps they lack direction and/or they may not know how to behave in a relationship.
But while this will be as far as it will go for some people, there will be others who go even further. This may mean that they will end up going on at least one course and/or they could work with a coach. The Ideal Outcome When someone behaves in this way, they are most likely going to be pleased if they are able to gain some insight into what their purpose is and/or find out how to behave in a relationship. Once this has taken place, they may take a step back from this kind of material. Their goal/s will have been achieved, so there will be no need for them to direct their energy in the same direction any longer. This is not to say that they won’t look for more answers further down the line though. From the Beginning After this person had been on the planet for a few years, there is the chance that they ended up going to school. This part of their life, then, would have been a time when other people told them things. What they were told would have gradually been internalised, setting them up to have an inner pool of knowledge that had been passed on to them from others. Looking outside for answers as an adult is then nothing more than a continuation of what occurred during their early years. An Empty Memory Bank From day one, it would have been as if one knew nothing, and this is why they needed to be told everything. It was then vital for information to be downloaded into their brain or else they wouldn’t know anything. Without this information, they would have grown into a human being who was completely lost and had no idea about anything. Therefore, just as they had no clue at this stage of their life and needed other people to supply them with the answers, the same thing will apply now that they are an adult. The Big Difference What will be different is that at this stage of their life, they will need information that wasn’t given to them when they were in the education system. If this information was given to them, perhaps there would be no need for them to look for these answers. So, if anyone was to criticise them for looking for answers in books or any other way, they could say what they are doing is no different to what took place during their early years. The alternative would have been for them to have simply tolerated what was going on and to live a miserable life. Another Angle Another way of looking at this would be to say that the only reason one would need to look outside of themselves for answers is because they are not in touch with the answers that are within them. Through being out of touch with their inner guidance, it will be perfectly normal for them to look towards others. Still, if someone is in this position, they can wonder what inner guidance is being spoken about here. As far as they are concerned, there could be absolutely nothing within them that could assist them. Disconnected What this could illustrate is that one doesn’t have a strong connection with their body. As a result of this, they may find that it is incredibly difficult for them to connect with their feelings. If they were in touch with how they felt, there is a strong chance that they would be able to get an idea about what they need to do in life and/or how they need to behave in a relationship. This wouldn’t mean that they would no longer need any guidance from the external world; what it would mean is that this guidance would be balanced out by their inner guidance. Protection There is likely to be a fair amount of emotional pain in their body, with this being the reason why they have disconnected from it. The trouble is that while this has allowed then to avoid experiencing a lot of pain, it has also caused them to lose touch with their essence. Ultimately, their true-self is not going to be found in their head; it will be found in their body. The emotional pain that is locked in their body could be due to what has taken place in their adult life or it could go back to what took place during their early years. Living on the Surface If it goes back to what happened during their early years, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. What took place would have overwhelmed their system, causing them to become a divided human being in the process. But, as time went by their mind would have forgotten about what took place, which would have meant that they wouldn’t have been able to see why their life was this way. What this shows is how much of an impact trauma can have on someone’s personality. Awareness It can seem as though this is just how they are; when in reality, how they are will be the result of trauma. As they begin to work through their trauma, they will gradually become a whole human being and connect to their true-self in the process. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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There are a number of things that can have a negative effect on a relationship and, while some of these things can be the result of what is taking place within, there can be others that are due to what is taking place without.
When it comes to the former, it can be due to inner conflict, with what is taking place between two people causing tension. On the other hand, when it comes to the latter, what is going on externally could be creating tension. A New Opportunity Let’s say, for example, that one of them has been offered a promotion – the downside being that they need to relocate. One of them can then be pleased that their chance has come; what won’t have pleased them is that they will have to move somewhere else. Still, after some consideration, they may be open to moving somewhere else to in order to move ahead with their career. The partner might not be on board with this, though, and have no interest in moving anywhere. A Big Decision Up until this point, their relationship could have been sailing along and going from strength to strength. Now, thanks to something positive that has taken place in one of their lives, it will be a different story. If one of them ignores themselves and goes along with what the other wants, it could lead to a lot of resentment. It can then seem as though the problem has been resolved, but it will have been pushed down and this could mean that the relationship will gradually crumble as time goes by. Another Outcome Then again, if one of them is willing to go along with what their partner wants and deals with the conflict that is within them, their relationship could continue to go in the right direction. If this was to take place, it is likely to show that this person has a good relationship with their emotions. Therefore, instead of pushing down how they feel and acting as though they no longer feel as they do, they will embrace this part of their being. This might be painful in the short-term, but it will serve them well in the long-term. Part of Life A curve ball will then have been thrown at their relationship, yet they will have been able to deal with it gracefully. Their connection would have been tested but not because one of them had done anything wrong. However, if one of them was to cheat, it would mean that one of them has created a problem. It is then not that a challenge has been put in front of their relationship; it is that one of them has created one. Hidden At the same time, there is the chance that their partner is not aware of what has taken place. As things stand, then, one will be able to keep what has happened to themselves; thereby, allowing the relationship to continue as normal. Perhaps their partner senses that something isn’t right, they just can’t quite put their finger on it. It might also not be accurate to say that one has created a problem as the relationship might not have been working. A Regular Occurrence In this case, there would have been a problem and this would have caused them to look towards someone else. Thus, while it may seem as though this is an example of an external problem, this wouldn’t be so. Also, one may not have just been with another person once; this could be something that they have done on a number of occasions. One will then have shared their body with a number of different people. The Solution When it comes to their relationship, one could have the tendency to feel ignored, lonely, undesirable and rejected. Spending time with someone else can then be a way for them to sooth themselves. What this can illustrate is that they find it hard to handle their emotions and that there is a lack of open communication in their relationship. Going with another person could be something that almost happens automatically. Acting Out One may also behave in this way with the hope that their partner will actually notice that something is not right. This will then be a childlike way for them to solve what is taking place in their relationship. The trouble is that while the childlike part of them might see their behaviour as being justified and hope that this will cause their partner to change, it is unlikely to lead to this outcome. The reason for this is that their partner is not their parent; they are someone who they are in a relationship with. A Different Approach If one had a good connection with their emotions, were able to regulate them, and they were able to talk to their partner about how they were feeling, they might have been able to gradually resolve what was going on for them. Reaching out for external support if they were unable to do this would have also helped. But if this didn’t work, one may have come to see that it was time for them to cut their ties with the other person. This would have been hard, yet at least they would have been able to create the space for someone suitable to come into their life. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they no longer want to behave in this way, they may need to reach out for external support. What they may find, if they were to this, is that the pain that comes up in their adult life goes back to what took place during their early years. Working through this pain will make is easier for them to handle how they feel and it will allow them to develop a better relationship with their emotional self. This support can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Critical Thinking: Is Celebrity Worship A Sign Of How Emotionally Undeveloped The Western World Is?16/2/2019
In just about every country in the western world, very few people class themselves as religious. At the same time, the people who are coming into this part of the world from Africa and the Middle East, for instance, are often religious.
Therefore, while religion is on its way out in this part of the world, this might not be the case as time goes by. Due to the low birth rates and the amount of children that these people often have, the western world could end up being extremely religious. The Same Dynamic But if with what may or might not happen in the future is put to one side, it wouldn’t be right to say that people in the western world no longer worship anyone or anything. If anything, this is something that still takes place. What is different, however, is that someone in the sky has been replaced by people who are actually walking the earth. In some cases, this will relate to a sports star and, in others, it will relate to an actor/actress or a singer. A Superior Being When one looks up to someone like this, they can end up seeing them as someone who is above them. This is not to say that they will say something like this in their mind as it is more likely to be something that they will express through their behaviour Each day of their life, they could spend a fair amount of time thinking about a celebrity and they could look through their social media page/s if there is one. This other person is then going to be a fellow human being, yet it will be as though they are from another planet. Fantasizing One could imagine what it would be like to know someone like this personally and how different their life would be if they did. Thus, while numerous people would like to be blessed by the pope, for instance, one would most likely like someone like this to bless them. One will see this person as having things that no other person has, which is why they are so special. And if one doesn’t feel this way about one person, there may be a number of people who they look up to. All in the Same Boat It won’t be hard for someone like this to find other people who also see certain celebrities in the same way. If a celebrity is on social media, there will be plenty of comments from other people who are just as enamoured with them. Still, while celebrity worship has replaced the old form of worship for a lot of people in the western world, these kinds of people rarely provide someone with a solid set of morals. In a lot of cases, these type of people promote the complete opposite; or they can merely parrot whatever ‘morals’ the establishment wants them to support, with can take place through endless virtue signalling. Back To Reality Nonetheless, just because one can perceive a celebrity as being more-than human, it doesn’t mean that there is any truth to this. Ultimately, the people who they look up to are inherently no different to them. Sure, they might be more physically attractive, have more money and be better at something than they are, but these are all surface level things. Deep down, one will be made of the same stuff and have the same amount of value. An Illusion The reason that they see this person as being superior to them is likely to be due to what they project onto them. This person is then just another human being, but thanks to the unrealised parts of themselves that they have unconsciously placed into them, it is not possible for them to realise this. For example, one can feel worthless and incapable, which can cause them to see someone like this as being extremely valuable and capable. If they were to no longer feel this way and were to embrace their own value and potential, they may no longer feel the need to place these people on a pedestal. Emotional Growth The reason one feels this way is likely to be the result of the inner wounds that they are carrying. Perhaps their early years were a time when they didn’t get the kind of care that they needed in order to develop in the right way. Once these inner wounds are healed and they are able to emotionally grow up, it will be possible for them to see these people are their fellow human beings. Now, this doesn’t mean that one will no longer appreciate what they do; what it is likely to mean is that they will no longer see them as godlike figures. An Overlooked Area If the education system provided emotional guidance and showed people what needed to be done to develop emotionally, perhaps one would have grown out of their desire to worship celebrities. But as it is generally the mind that is educated or indoctrinated even, it means that this part of one’s being is typically ignored. It is then going to be perfectly normal for one to be an emotionally undeveloped adult, who sees celebrities as possessing traits that they themselves don’t have. Greatness is then going to be something that is in other people but not in them. Conclusion It is highly unlikely that anyone on this planet is here to focus on how great other people are, while neglecting their own greatness. The sooner they spend less time focusing on celebrities and focus on their own strengths and do what they can to develop themselves, the sooner they will be able to live a life that is worth living as opposed to vicariously living through other people. Along with this, healing their own inner wounds will also allow them to become a more integrated human being. External support may be needed here to enable one to believe in themselves and to work through their inner wounds.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In recent years, it has been said that men have become more feminine and women have become more masculine. Naturally, this is a generalisation and doesn’t apply to every man/woman in the western world.
And when something like this is said, it could simply be an observation that someone has made, or it could be something that they lament. One way of looking how men’s and women’s behaviour has changed would be to say that it is a good thing. Growth The reason for this is that women have started to embrace more of their masculine nature, after having rejected this side of them for a very long time; while men have started to embrace their feminine nature, after having rejected this side of them for a long time. Due to this, it could be said that both genders are gradually becoming more balanced. If both men and women were not made of the masculine and the feminine energy, this wouldn’t be possible. But as they are, it is perfectly normal for them to become more balanced human beings. A Key Point Still, this doesn’t mean that every human being on the planet is fifty percent feminine and fifty percent masculine. There are going to be both men and women who have more of one side than the other. What this then means is that there are going to be some men out there who are more feminine than masculine and some women who are more masculine than feminine. This is just how it is and is neither good nor bad. A Different Outlook Another view that could be put forward is that some men have gone too far and so have some women. A man will then have embraced more of his feminine nature, but he will have lost too much of his masculine nature. Likewise, a woman will then have embraced more of her masculine nature, but she will have lost too much of her feminine nature. It is then as if an extreme of the past has been replaced by another extreme in the present. A Lot of Exposure A fair amount has been said about men who are overly feminine, with the word ‘man up’ often being used and there being all kinds of books written for ‘nice guys’. A man who is easy going and doesn’t stand his ground is rarely respected by men or women. He can be seen as someone who lacks backbone and, therefore, needs to start asserting himself. There will be a lot of the feminine energy within him, but not a lot of the masculine energy. A Different Story When it comes to women who are overly masculine, it is less likely that anything will be said about how they come across. In the mainstream, the focus is generally on the issues that men have. In addition to some men being seen as too feminine, some men can also been seen as being too masculine. A man can then be seen as a problem no matter what pat of himself he embraces. Out of Balance A woman can then have the inclination to come across as aggressive, being completely out of touch with her more softer side, and it is unlikely that she would be told that she needs to ‘woman up’ or something similar. Still, while it can be normal for a woman to come across in this way, it is going to be the kind of behaviour that repels a lot of people. Women who are in touch with their feminine nature will probably find her energy toxic, and men who are in touch with their masculine nature could also feel the need to keep their distance. Conflict A man like this will realise that a woman like this is not going to complement who he is; the only thing that would happen is he would have some someone in his life who he would be in a constant battle with. As the woman has more or less rejected her feminine nature, it wouldn’t be possible for their two energies to harmonise with each other. It would be like trying to lead someone in a dance routine, only for them to try to lead all the time; it just wouldn’t work. The woman is not going to want to surrender to a man and to allow him to lead; she will want to control the man and to direct everything. What’s going on? So, if a woman has pretty much lost touch with her nurturing ability, softness and supportive element, amongst other things, it is likely to show that she doesn’t feel safe enough to express these traits and to be vulnerable. The way she comes across, with her aggression and coldness, for instance, is then a way for her to protect herself. Ultimately, in order for a woman to embrace her femininity and then to express this side of her nature, she needs to feel safe enough to do so. The question is: why wouldn’t a woman feel safe enough to express this side of her nature? Way Back What this may show is that she was brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for her to just be and to express her softer side. Perhaps, her father wasn’t around or if he was around, he may have abused her. The outcome of this is that the strong male figure that she needed to protect her and to validate her femininity wouldn’t have been available. Thus, as a way to protect her vulnerability, she would have disconnected from this part of her nature and developed a hard shell in the process. Repetition Compulsion The trouble is that as she is still carrying all this pain within her, she will most likely continue to recreate experiences that will have a lot in common with what took place during her early years. These experiences will validate her belief that it is not safe for her to be vulnerable and to trust others. It is unlikely to be very fulfilling for her to live life in this way, but this is likely to be what is familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe to the ego mind. Her life is only likely to change if she heals her inner wounds. Awareness If a woman can relate to this, and she wants to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In a number of countries around the world there are media channels that are often seen as being purveyors of the truth, while there are other media channels that are often seen as being peddlers of lies. Consequently someone can pay attention to certain sources and believe that they are being exposed to the truth.
So, unlike the people who pay attention to other sources, they will be an informed human being. These people could be seen as ignorant human beings, and they may even be labelled in some way. A Big Difference One is then not going to allow their mind to be clouded by ignorance and the sources that they look towards will challenge any prejudices they may have. On the other hand, they will believe that the other sources play into people’s fears and biases. Therefore, one will believe that they are receiving information that is superior, and they may even see themselves as being morally superior. Due to this, it might be hard for them to interact with people who don’t consume the same sources as they do. Tension If one does label these people as having some kind of phobia and/or uses words that end with ‘ist’ to describe them, they might not even seen them as their fellow human beings. Through dehumanizing them, they could see them as being less-than human. They might not see someone like this as a sinner, but they may believe that they need to be reformed. It may seem as though someone like this needs to be sent on a sensitivity training course, for example. The Reliable Sources When it comes to the media channels that they pay attention to, it can all depend on where in the world they are based. If they are in the United Kingdom, for instance, they might typically read the paper that rhymes with ricardian and watch the channel the starts off with the second letter of the alphabet. These two sources will keep them informed about what is actually going on. The former will also provide them with well-thought-out ‘opinion’ pieces and, as the latter is funded by the tax payer, its sole purpose will be to serve people. An Analogy One way of looking at the difference between the ‘liberal media’ and the ‘gutter press’ would be to say that this dynamic is a bit like the difference between president Obama and president Trump. Obama is a decent human being, who did the right thing, while Trump isn’t and is not doing the right thing. Interestingly, just as is often the case with the liberal media, Obama also represented the left when he was in power; whereas the gutter press usually represents the right, with this being the side that Trump represents. It could then be said that the left side of the political spectrum is good, whilst the right side is bad. One Big Facade Another way of looking at these two media channels would be to say that while it is easy to see that the gutter press has certain biases, it is a lot harder to see that the liberal media also does. And, because of how well the liberal media has promoted itself over the years, it has meant that it has been able to deceive a lot of people. The president Obama/Trump analogy is relevant once again as even though one of them is typically seen as being good and the other is seen as bad; it is not this black and white. One of the big differences between these two people is that one came across well and the other doesn’t. Looking Beyond the Facade Yet, if someone only paid attention to how president Obama came across, they may have believed that he was all good. Similarly, if someone only pays attention to how president Trump comes across, it can be normal for them to believe that he is all bad. When it comes to the liberal press it is like Obama, inasmuch as it often comes across very well. The gutter press is a bit like trump, on the other hand, as it typically comes across as unrefined and uncivilised. The Power of Conditioning If someone was brought up in the United Kingdom, they may believe that the organisation that starts off with the second letter of the alphabet is the bastian of truth. This source will be seen as having one purpose – to keep them informed. From the moment they were born, then, it will have been drummed into their head that this source was on their side. Thanks to this, there will be no reason for them to question what this source comes out with. The Ideal Scenario Naturally, it is going to be a lot easier to control someone if they are not aware of what is taking place. This approach is similar to putting poison in a tasty cake; it will be easy to get someone to eat it. Ultimately, the last thing that any of these media organisations want is for someone to be able to think critically and to question what they are told. The misplaced trust that they have in these originations will make them easy targets. Conclusion The gutter press, like president Trump, typically reveal what they stand for; yet the liberal media, like president Obama, are generally more deceitful. Both of these sources decide what the public become aware of, and, as a result of this, they define how they see the world. When someone pays attention to the media, and regardless of whether they are aware of it or not, this source will literally be programming their reality. It won’t be possible for them to realise this if they see themselves as merely observers of their reality, though, yet this will be nothing more than an illusion.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When someone can express who they are their life is going to be far more fulfilling than it would be if this wasn't the case. Here, one will be able to listen to themselves and they will be able to allow what is going on within them to come out.
This will enable them to authentically connect to others, which will make it possible for them to experience real intimacy. Their relationships are then not going to be shallow; they will be full of depth. The Odd Occasion Still, this doesn’t mean that they will always express themselves, with their being moments when they will see that it is not a good idea for them to do so. During a time like this, they might see that it is better for them to keep certain things to themselves. For example, one may have tried to get through to someone in the past, only to see that it is not possible. Consequently, they will be more selective when it comes to what they say to this person and they may even do what they can to limit the amount of time that they spend around them. Getting Away This doesn’t mean, however, that one won’t feel comfortable around this person; it is a more a case of them not wanting to deal with unnecessary dramas. Thus, while they could be more open with this person, doing so won’t solve anything. If they were to end up in the company of someone who was emotionally unstable let’s say, they could soon feel the urge to leave. It will then be clear that spending time with someone who wants them to be constantly on edge is not going to interest them. At The Root Being around someone like this is then going to cause them to feel uncomfortable; it could be as if a warning sign has been put up in front of them. In addition to feeling uncomfortable, they will have the drive to get away. What this will show is that their body is responding in the right way and that they value themselves enough to do what is best for their wellbeing. Behaving in this way will undoubtedly save them a lot of trouble. Expansion When one is around their friends and even their partner if they have one, they will be able to relax and to expand. One will then be able to reveal their true-self and they will be able to grow in their company. Ultimately, one will be free to be, and it could be said that this is the best way to experience life. To experience life in any other way is simply going to cause one to limit who they are and it will stop them from being able to evolve. Another Reality Experiencing life in this will be the norm for some people, while for others; it won’t even cross their mind. When it comes to someone like this, their life is going to be totally different. They are then going to live on the same planet as someone who experiences life differently, yet it could be as if they live on another one. What this likely to mean is that they have a number of people in their life who are emotionally unpredictable. Treading Carefully When one is around someone like this, their focus is likely to be on what is taking place externally. Instead of their attention being divided between their inner and outer world, then, it will be in one place. This is going to be a time when they won’t be expressing who they are; they will be making sure that they don’t say or do anything that might result in the other person losing it. What is going on in their body during this time can end up being a mystery. One Purpose Their own needs will be put to one side and their priority will be to do what they can to meet the other persons needs. The outcome of this is that their true-self is not going to see the light of day, with them playing a role instead. Clearly, spending time around people like this is not going to allow them to expand or to grow; it will simply cause them to retract. But, while cutting their ties with these people might be the best thing for them to do, this might not even occur to them. A Closer Look On one level, being around these people is going to undermine them and it make their life a misery and, on another level, it could be what feels comfortable. As a result of this, there will be no reason for them to get away from these people. The reason this feels comfortable can be due to what took place during the beginning of their life. At this stage of their life, they may have had at least one caregiver who was extremely emotionally volatile. An Unpredictable Environment One wouldn’t have been brought up in a war zone, but it could have been as if there was a war going on in their home. For no apparent reason, this caregiver could have lost it, and this may have meant that they were physically and/or verbally abused on a daily basis. This would have been incredibly traumatising for an adult, let alone a child; the big difference is that as they were a child, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to do anything about it. Being hypervigilant and in survival mode would have been a way for them to try to prevent the unpreventable – their caregiver’s outbursts. The Fall Out What should have been a time in their life when they were able to develop a strong connection with themselves and to feel safe in their body, ended up bring a time when they lost touch with their inner world and felt as though it wasn’t safe for them to exist. These experiences would have had an effect on their mind and body. At this age, one would have needed this person to help them to regulate their inner world, not for them to try to regulate an adult’s inner world. It is then not going to be a surprise if one is unable to handle their own emotions as an adult. Awareness It is highly unlikely that the behavioural therapy approach would work here; one will most likely need to work through the trauma that is within them. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
From the outside, it can seem as though certain celebrities have it all. This is because the average celebrity can be talented, good looking, have plenty of money and millions of people all over the world can admire them.
And when it comes to a celebrity like this, one can believe that they just happened to get lucky and to hit the big time. That is, of course, unless one believes that someone like this is ‘special’. In Control Yet, regardless of whether one believes that someone like this is lucky or special, they can see them as being in charge of their life. Unlike the average person who has a boss who tells them what to do, they will be the master of their own destiny. This can be seen as something that takes place as a result of them having so much money and power. Therefore, if they don’t want to do something, they won’t do it, and, if they are not given this option, they will be able to walk away. The Only Downside Nonetheless, what could cross their mind is that even though they have so much going for them, what they can’t avoid is getting older. In additional to this, one could be only too aware that they will still experience loss. So, as much as their life will be radically different to the average person’s life, there will be a number of things that will be the same. Ultimately, no matter how much money they have, they won’t be able to have complete control over what happens to them. Extreme Pressure One thing that someone like this can experience is a strong need to not only look good, but to also look young. The big trouble with this is that their appearance will change as time goes by, meaning that it is impossible for them to look young forever. Even so, this is not to say that they won’t try to delay the inevitable by having surgery or inserting chemicals into their skin. There will come a point, however, when this approach will no longer cut it. A Heavy Burden Getting older can be something that will cause them to worry about whether or not their fans will lose interest in them and they can fear that someone younger will take their place. Due to how much pressure they experience, it can be hard for them to enjoy what they have. There may even be moments in their life when think about how they would trade it all in for a normal life; a life where they don’t experience so much pressure or need to maintain a certain appearance. At times, then, they could feel as though their level of success has imprisoned them. Strongly Attached But, thanks to how long they have experienced life in this way, there is the chance that they wouldn’t know who they were unless they were famous. Not being famous would then be experienced as a loss and it would be as if they had died. Being a world famous celebrity is then not free from challenges; in fact, it can be a very empty existence. What can also cross their mind is that other people only like them based on the idea that they have formed of them, not on what they are actually like as a person. Another Side Having said this, a celebrity might not actually have as much power as they appear to have. The reason for this is that there can be people above them who have far more power than they do. Thus, while it can seem as though a celebrity is their own boss, they can simply be an employee. Compared to the average person they can appear to be at the top, but in reality, they can still be well below the people who exercise a lot of influence over the planet. Two Jobs That’s not to say that these people actually have all the power; it’s just that so many people are kept in ignorance. These people have all kinds of ways to keep the masses distracted and oblivious to what is going on behind the scenes. A celebrity can then spend a lot of their life singing or acting, for instance, and they can be told that there are other things they will need to do. What this could mean is that they will have to go along with whatever narrative the establishment wants them to promote. An Important Role The work that someone does as an actor or a singer could be just a way for them to pull people in. After all, if it wasn’t for the fact that they looked good and had a talent, there is a strong chance that very few people would pay attention to them. In order for them to have as much influence as they do, it would have been necessary to build them into a godlike figure. It would have been clear that once this had taken place, millions of people would happily go along with what they say, irrespective of how crazy or irrational it was. Selling Out Right from the beginning, someone may have been told that the only way they would make it was if they were willing to lose themselves to gain the world. Behaving in ways that are in alignment with what other people want may have meant that they have lost touch with their true essence. Their need to maintain their status could be all consuming, which could mean that they are not even aware of how this is causing them to compromise who they are. Then again, they could be only to aware of what would happen if they were to exert their own will. Conclusion It has been said that things are not always as they seem, and this could be an appropriate saying when it comes to certain celebrities. These people are simply human beings; they are not gods or goddesses. To place someone like this at this level doesn’t make any sense. The only way it can make sense is if someone is projecting a lot of things onto these people and is unable to see them as just human beings.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
For whatever reason, one may have just broken up with their partner, which could mean that they are not in a good way. Perhaps one is experiencing a fair amount of sadness, along with feeling depressed from time to time.
There could also be moments when one ends up getting angry and is even consumed by rage. Either way, it is going to be a challenge for them to experience inner peace at this point in their life. A Different Outcome Alternatively, one could be relieved that their relationship has come to and this can mean that they don’t have trouble embracing the present moment. This doesn’t mean that they won’t ever feel sad, though. The big difference is that what has taken place won’t have had a big impact on their inner world. This can then allow one to make a fairly smooth transition from one stage of their life to another. The Reason What this can show is that this person was not in a relationship that was very fulfilling. One would have come to see that their time together had come to an end and this will make it easier for them to put this phase of their life behind them. If one was in a relationship that wasn’t very fulfilling yet they are not in a good way, it can be a sign that something else is going on for them. Perhaps they were carrying a lot of emotional pain before they got into this relationship and therefore, the end of the relationship has brought it up to the surface. Another Scenario Then again, if one does feel fine but their relationship was going well, it could show that one has disconnected from their pain. One can then believe that they are fine, as can the people in their life, yet this will be an illusion. And, if ones relationship was going well and they are in a lot of pain, what they are going though will be perfectly normal. They will have experienced loss and this will have caused them to experience grief. A Process It is unlikely that they will be able to think their way out of what is going on; what they will most likely need to do is to feel their way out. This is then going to be a time when they will be surrendering to how they feel as opposed to trying to change how they feel. Embracing how they feel, and allowing themselves to cry out the pain that is within them, will almost certainly help. If they are a woman it might be easier for them to do this than if they are man, due to the fact that is often more acceptable for a woman to express her emotions. An Interruption No matter what one is going through at this time in their life, they might end up hearing from their ex. This could be a time when their ex will basically ask them if they would like to get back together. Conversely, a mutual friend could end up asking them if they would get back with their ex, after their ex has asked them to find out. This could be the last thing that they wanted to hear or it could be something that they are only too happy to hear. The Next Step If one is not interested in getting back with their ex, it may be easy for them to make this clear and for their ex to get this message. Their ex will then leave them alone if they respect them and have good boundaries. At the same time, after having been asked this, one could end up feeling confused, not knowing what to do. What this is then likely to show is that they are experiencing inner conflict. Self-Reflection One thing that they can then do is to think about what their relationship was like before and if they want to experience more of the same. If they were in an abusive relationship or even one had had run its course, there is going to be no reason for them to restart the relationship. If it was going well or there was only a minor problem, then it might be a good idea for them to get back with their ex. Along with thinking about what their relationship was like, it will be important for them to tune into themselves. Self-Awareness By tuning into what is taking place within them, they will be able to see what parts of them want to go back and what parts don’t. If they find that there is a strong pull in their chest to go back with them, it could show that they feel abandoned. In this case, their need to get back with their ex can be more about avoiding how they feel than being with someone who they truly want to be with. Being with their ex can then allow them to feel better in the short-term but it wont serve them in the long-term. Awareness What this illustrates of how important self-awareness is when it comes to making a good decision. Without this, someone can end up making a decision that they will end up regretting. If one can see that they are in a lot of pain and it is not possible for them to handle this pain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that there have more or less always been people who are famous for one thing or another, but what is different about today’s world, is that it is easier than ever before for someone to achieve this aim. There are two main reasons for this, with the first being reality TV and the second being the internet.
Thanks to former, someone can end up become famous practically overnight, and this can take place even if they have very little, if any, talent. When it comes to the latter, the same thing can occur without too much time passing and without one needing to have any kind of talent. A Life Goal One outcome of this is that so many people now see fame as the ultimate achievement, something that is far superior to anything else that can be attained. What this shows is how fame has saturated the western world. For someone like this, fame is not going to be a something that is simply a by-product of doing something else; it will be something that is pursued directly. As a result of this, they might not care what they do as long as this takes place. Another Part If someone experiences life in this way, it is also likely to mean that they look up to certain celebrities. Then again, they could admire just about anyone who is famous, due to the fact that this person will have attained something that they themselves desire. When it comes to the celebrities that they follow, then, these could be actors and/or singers, or they could be famous for other things. If they don’t care about what someone does, the mere fact that another person is famous could be enough to pull them in. A Big Shift Someone like this is then not going to be interested in what they can do to make the world a better place; they will only be interested in doing what they can to be known by as many people as possible. Its then as if one sees themselves as being separate for everything else as opposed to being part of it. One is then on this planet but there is no need for them to make a contribution to the planet while they are here. The only thing that they need to do is to receive attention from others and that will be enough. Undeveloped One way of looking at this would be to say that the only reason someone would want to be famous is because their needs were not met during early years. Consequently, one is likely to feel insignificant, worthless and invisible, amongst other things. Being famous is then going to be a way for them to recreate their early years; only this time, they will be able to get what they didn’t get all those years ago. The trouble is that they are likely to be carrying trauma, which will stop them from being able to internalise positive feedback from others. A Futile Pursuit It will be a bit like trying to permanently mark a window by using milk, it will just wash off. No matter how much positive feedback they receive from other people, it won’t have a lasting effect. What someone like this really needs to do is to heal their inner wounds as this will gradually allow them to feel whole and complete. Through doing this they will no longer feel the same way and this will mean that they will no longer have the same needs. Self-Acknowledgment By no longer feeling so empty on the inside, they will no longer need the approval from random strangers to feel whole. The fullness that they feel within themselves will also most likely allow them to focus more on what they can give to the world, than on what they can get from it. Taking this into account, it shows how important early care is when it comes to having a functional society. What someone doesn’t receive during this stage of their life can be what they will look for as an adult, with this typically being something that takes place unconsciously. Another Scenario If one is more interested is following different celebrities than they are with being famous, it can show that they live their life through these people. By identifying with them, it is going to have a positive effect on how they feel and see themselves. And, although these people will be their fellow human beings, it can be as though these people are above them. Said another way, these people can be like gods and goddesses. Projection What this can show is that deep down, one feels worthless and this has then caused them to see these people as being perfect. Indentifying with what they have projected into these people will be a way for them to avoid their true feelings. If they were to detach themselves from them, they might soon end up coming into contact with how they really feel. Thus, being obsessed with different celebrities will be way for them to avoid themselves. Conclusion One way to look at the obsession that so many people have when it comes to celebrities would be to say that this shows that there are a lot of people who feel worthless or as though they are nothing. If these people were to work through their own wounds and were gradually able to embrace their own worth in the process, there would be no reason for them to put their fellow human beings on a pedestal. Focusing on their own life and doing what they could to achieve their own goals would be far more important. Not only would this allow them to lead a more fulfilling existence, it would also most likely allow them to make a positive contribution to the world.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are behaviours that are seen as good and behaviours that are seen as bad, and what usually defines whether a behaviour fits into the first or the second category is the context. For example, aggression can create a problem in one situation but it can prevent a problem in another.
When it comes to the former, one could use their aggression to cause harm, and, when it comes to the latter, they could use it to protect themselves and their loved ones. In this regard, aggression is neutral. One More Another example is putting other people first, with this being good in some situations but not in others. If one had a small child, it would be a good idea for them to feed the child first and then to feed themselves. However, if one was in a plane and there was an emergency, it would be essential for them to take care of themselves first. Once their oxygen mask is on, they will be able to put the mask on their child; if they do the opposite, their life might end before they are able to put an oxygen mask on their child. A Common Outlook However, in the same way that aggression as a whole is often vilified in today’s world, so is putting ones need first. It is as if the moral thing to do is to put other people’s needs first, no matter what. If, then, one puts their needs first, they are going to be someone who is a selfish human being. It then won’t matter if the put other peoples needs first from time to time, as this won’t make up for the times when they don’t. A Model Human Being Someone who disregards their own needs and focuses purely on other people’s needs is then going to be behaving in the right way. When one behaves in this way, it can be normal for them to receive positive feedback from others. Other people could see them as someone who is only too happy to extend themselves and to do just about anything they can to help. This could mean that one works in the helping profession. Always On Call When they are at work they will be there to fulfil other people needs and once they have finished work, they will still have the same focus. If they are in a relationship, they could also focus on their partners needs. Yet, even though one will generally ignore their own needs, they could still spend a lot of time with a smile on their face. From the outside, it can seem as though this person is living the good life. Self-Neglect Nonetheless, while behaving in this way can be seen as the ideal, the fact is that one is going to be neglecting themselves. This doesn’t mean that one will be aware of this, though, as this behaving in this way could be something that just happens. If any anger or frustration is able to break tough into their conscious awareness, they could soon end up disconnecting from it. Their emotional self will be trying to communicate with them, but they won’t pay attention to this information. Out of Balance Ultimately, one is a human being and this means that they have their own needs. Therefore, just because putting other people first is seen as the right thing to do, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case. Naturally, it is good to be able to do this, but it is not good when one doesn’t have the ability to put their own needs first. What this can illustrate is that not only is one out of touch with their own needs, but that they believe their needs are not important. A False-Self Coming across as selfless or needless is likely to be what feels safe, with this being a way for them to be accepted by others. There is a strong chance that one’s early years played a part in how they behave as an adult. During this stage of their life, they may have been brought up by caregivers who saw them as an extension of themselves. Instead of fulfilling ones needs, they would have used them to fulfil their own needs. The Outcome One would then have learnt how to be there for others but what they wouldn’t have learnt is how to be there for themselves. This would have caused them to believe that other people’s needs are more important than their own. Along with disconnecting from their own needs in order to survive, they would have also come to feel ashamed of their own needs. Hiding their needs from others, and themselves as time went by, would have been a way for them to try to make sure that they were not rejected or abandoned. The Same Scenario The years will have passed since this time in their life but they will still be behaving in the same way. The only difference is that they will be older and the people they are trying to please won’t be their caregivers. One may find that a lot of the people in their life are not even interested in their needs, with these people seeing one as an extension of themselves. Until one draws the line and is no longer willing to neglect themselves, this is unlikely to change. Awareness The truth is that one’s needs are just as important as anyone else’s needs and this is why there is no reason for them to neglect themselves. When one is no longer willing to experience life in this way their life can begin to change. If one is at this point, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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