If one does a lot of reading, they may find that they read a lot about other people’s lives. This could be because they like to find out about how other people experience life, and it could also be a sign that they like to get away from their own life.
There is then the chance that they are highly curious, and this is then just one area where their curiosity is expressed. At the same time, one might not be this way, and they might only be interested in other people’s stories.
If one is trying to get away from their own life, it could come down to the fact that it is not going as they would like it to go. But through reading, it allows them to vicariously experience the kind of life that they would like to lead.
Yet, just because one likes to escape from time to time, it doesn’t mean that their life is not going right. It could simply mean that one just wants to leave their life behind, and reading about someone else allows them to relax.
A Step Back
However, if one was to take a step back, so to speak, they would also see that they have their own story. The only difference is likely to be the fact that one hasn’t shared their story with the world.
If they were to write down what has happened to them up until this point and then to publish it (once it has been edited of course), they may find that it doesn’t do as well as the other books that they have read. Now, while this could show that one hasn’t done anything significant with their life; it may just come down to a lack of exposure.
When it comes to the books that sell and the ones that don’t, it is not that some are good and some are not. What it is likely to come down is the amount of exposure a book has received.
If a lot of people know about a book, there is the chance that it will sell a lot of copies, and it might not matter how good it is. If, on the other hand, it is because one hasn’t done anything significant, it doesn’t mean that their life has to stay this way.
Still, just because one hasn’t done anything significant, it doesn’t mean that they have not lived a fulfilling life up until this point. It could also be said that what is classed as significant and insignificant is subjective.
If one was to look at their own life, there could be a number of things that stand out. Yet if they were to share their story with the world, it might not have much of an effect.
Nevertheless, if one is not happy with their story so far, it doesn’t mean that they can’t do anything about it. One might believe that they have the ability to change it, or they might believe that there is nothing they can do.
Clearly, if one wants to change their life, it will be vital for them to believe that it is possible. As if they don’t have this outlook, there is not much chance of them doing anything about what is taking place.
They will then have to tolerate what is taking place, and this will mean that they will end up suffering unnecessarily. And while they may have people around them who encourage them to do something about their life; this might not be the case.
The people that they surround themselves with could also be in a similar position, and this means that they are not going to be able to give them the support that they need. During their time with them, they could talk about how unlucky they are and how they have no control, amongst other things.
The Other Side
When one believes that they can change their life (or at least part of them is not willing to put up with what is taking place), it will give them the chance to change their life. This is not to say that it will change overnight, but it will allow them to take action.
If only one area of their life is not going as they would like it to go, it might not take them very long. However, if just about every area of their life is not working, it will generally take longer.
One may find that it is only possible for them to achieve a certain level or success, or they might not even get this far. Along with this, they might not be able to experience intimacy, or if they do have an intimate relationship, it might not last for very long.
It could also be a struggle for them to support themselves financially or if they do attract money, it could soon disappear. They may suffer emotionally, and it could be normal for them to feel depressed, worthless and/or to struggle with guilt, for instance.
So regardless of whether one can relate to all of these example or only one of them (or if they are struggling with other things), the next step will be for them to look for answers. This could be a time where they will be told that they need to change what they believe and to alter their behaviour.
Through doing this, it will be possible for them to gradually change their circumstances. On one hand, this might be the case, but on the other hand, it might not be this simple.
If one was able to put their own life to one side and to reflect on how their family experiences life (or experienced life), they may find that they are not the only ones who experience life in this way. Based on this, it could be said that one is not living their own life; they are living someone else’s life.
But if one’s family don’t experience life in this way, it doesn’t mean that these issues started with them, as they may go back even further. What this is likely to show is that one has the need to be loyal to their family, and unless this changes, they will continue to experience life in the same way.
One takes these challenges on out of love and as way to bring balance to the family system, and this generally happens during the beginning of their life. The child part of them is holding on out their need to be loyal, and if they were to live their own life, it would cause them to feel guilty and as though are they betraying the people that gave them life.
If one can relate to this and they no longer want to live someone else’s life, they may need to have a family constellation. Through taking this approach, it will be possible for them to give back what doesn’t belong to them, and this will allow them to create their own story.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
When it comes to the people that one is closest to, they are likely to find that they have similar views. They may disagree about certain things from time to time, but in general they will be on the same page, so to speak.
Whereas if one was to think about the people they that they are not very close to, they may find that it’s because they have completely different views. This is not to say that won’t agree on some things, but it won’t be enough to bring them together.
Now, it would be inaccurate to say that this is all there is to it, as there are clearly other factors involved. For one thing, one will also need to feel comfortable with someone in order to spend time with them.
On one side, this will be influenced by the other person’s outlook, and on the other side, it will also be influenced by how they feel about themselves. What this comes down to is that one typically ends up with people who have the same level of self-worth as they do.
This is one reason why one won’t always be drawn to people who have the same views as they do. For example, one could meet someone who has the same outlook as they do and instead of feeling comfortable, they could end up keeping their distance.
Alternatively, one could find that even though they do feel comfortable with them, they don’t feel the need to take things further. This is then similar to how one can enjoy eating something they have taken from a buffet, and at the same time, they don’t feel the need to go back for more.
An Open Mind
However, just because one spends time with people who have a similar outlook, it doesn’t mean that they won’t have an open mind. They might be only too happy to listen to their friends and family when their views are different to theirs.
Along with this, one may also have the same approach when it comes to the people they come across in their day to day life. This could also apply to the views that they come across when they are online.
During this time, one may find that they change their outlook, or they may find that they don’t agree with what is being said. But even if they don’t agree with someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s because the other person is in the wrong.
It could just be a sign that one has a different perspective, and as a result of this, they won’t feel the need to try and change the other person. They may be able to understand why they have a different outlook and if they don’t, they might end up doing their own research.
What this will show is that one is able to accept that not everyone has the same outlook as they do. Therefore, they won’t feel the need to put another person down or to try to control them.
One way of looking at this would be to say that they are able to respect other people’s boundaries. They are not going to try to take away someone’s right to express themselves.
Having an open mind is not going to be the only thing that allows them to do this; what will also play a part is their ability to contain their emotional experience. What this means is that they won’t be controlled by their emotions and neither will they feel the need to deny them.
This will be something that will allow them to keep an open minded and not to get caught up in how they feel. Thus, this will be a lot easier for them to keep a balanced perspective, and they will then be less likely to act irrationally.
It could be said that this will be the ideal, as when someone is like this they won’t feel the need to take away another person’s freedom of speech. As when one allows another person to express their views, they are helping to create an environment where they can do the same thing.
But even though this is something that is incredible important, it doesn’t mean that everyone is able to accept that other people are entitled to their own views. One could be in a position where they try to stop this from happening.
If they were to hear something that they don’t agree with, they could end up labelling someone, and this will be a way for them to shut them up. The other person could then end up feeling guilty and ashamed (and even fearful), and that could be the end of it.
They could also try to tarnish their image, and this could be done through making things up. If one was to read something that they didn’t agree with online, they could end up reporting them or blocking them, for instance.
A Closer Look
It could be said that when one acts in this way, it shows that they are being controlled by their emotions. As a result, it is not possible for them to respond; the only thing they can do is to react.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that they are unable to think clearly, and this then sets them up to act irrationally. When another person says something that they disagree with, it causes them to have an emotional reaction, and instead of being able to contain how they feel; they end up trying to oppress someone else in order to change how they feel.
However, unless one realises that they are responsible for what is taking place within them, it will be normal for them to try to stop others from expressing their views. What this is likely to show is that they lack self-awareness, and that they are emotionally undeveloped.
If one can relate to this and they no longer want to blame other people for what is taking place within then, it will be important for them to develop self-awareness and the ability to contain their emotional experience. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
When one uses social media, they can either send a ‘friend’ a message or they can share something on their wall. And as to what approach they take can all depend on what they want to talk about.
For example, if one has something personal to talk about, they may decide to send a private message. If, on the other hand, they have something impersonal to talk about, they might end up sharing it on their wall.
When one has something personal to share, it could relate to what has been taking place in a relationship or the state of their health, for instance. On the other hand, if it relates to something impersonal, it could relate to how they have been spending their time.
However, while it would be easy to say that this is something that is black and white, this is not always going to be the case. As what is classed as personal to one person might not be seen as in the same way to another and the same goes for what is classed as impersonal.
A Different Outlook
Therefore, when it comes to the kinds of things that one only shares in a private message; they could find that there are plenty of people who share the same thing on their wall. Through seeing this, one could wonder why they would share these kinds of things with everyone.
This could then be a sign that one is a private person, and at the same time, it could also mean that these people don’t hold back. There can then be no difference between what these people share with a few people and what they share with everyone.
When one does share practically everything on their wall, it could be seen as something that is normal. One reason for this is that they are likely to have plenty of ‘friends’ who do the same thing.
Along with this, there is also the chance that they have grown up with social media, and this means that it can be seen as an extension of themselves as opposed to just something they use. At the same time, even if one hasn’t grown up with it, it doesn’t mean that they will hold back when it comes to what they share.
If one has a strong need for approval, this can also have an impact on what they share. This is something that can also have an impact on how often they share things with others.
If one is in a position where they are unable to feel good about themselves unless they receive approval from others, they could also end up experiencing withdrawal symptoms if they are unable to use social media. That is, of course, unless they have another way to receive approval.
Tried and Tested
One could simply share something in the hope that their ‘friends’ will ‘like’ and comment, or they could have a number of proven ways to gain approval. One may find that uploading pictures of themselves and sharing funny videos works.
This could then mean that one doesn’t speak their mind, or it could be something that takes place from time to time. As when they have shared their views on something, they may have found that they didn’t receive the same kinds of responses.
Not This Far
Having said that, one might not have shared their views online, and this could be because they don’t feel comfortable doing it. And even if one is in a position where they don’t share a lot of things, they could also find that they hold back.
One then has a platform to express their views, but they are only allowing themselves to express certain things. As they are behind a screen, it can be hard to understand why this would be the case.
The Sensible Approach
One way of looking at this would be to say that one is simply thinking about how their views might affect others, and as a result of this, they choose to keep them to themselves. If they didn’t take this approach, it could lead to unnecessary arguments, and they might even offend others.
Now, clearly there is no point in causing unnecessary arguments or offending people for the sake of it. Yet, if that means that one ends up stopping themselves from expressing what they have to say, it will also have a negative effect.
But if one is focused on doing everything that they can to please others, it is not going to be possible for them to realise this. Also, one might fear that someone will ‘unfriend’ them if they were to say the wrong thing.
What can also encourage one to keep their views to themselves is when they see what happens to people who to express their views. These people could end being labelled in some way, and they could even be abused.
Along with this, one may also worry about what the authorities would do if they were to express their views. And as people have been arrested for what they have said on social media, it would be perfectly normal for one to have this outlook.
The Real World
One might not only respond in this way online though, as the experience they have online could end up effecting how they behave offline. What this shows is how social media has an impact on the real world.
So even though social media is often seen as a place where people can connect with others, it doesn’t mean that it is somewhere where people feel as though they can be themselves. In many ways, it can just be somewhere where people end up playing a role.
In order for human beings to grow, they need to be open to new information; if they are unable to let new ideas and perspectives in, it will have a negative effect on their development. And the same could be said for when it comes to listening to alternative points of view.
If one is unable to listen to what other people have to say, it is going to stop them from growing. Now, this is not to say that one has to accept everything they hear, and neither does it mean that another person has the right to harm them.
But if one hears something and they feel uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean that another person has harmed them. What it comes down to is that they are experiencing an emotional reaction, and it will be important for them to look into why this is.
If they were unable to do this and they were to blame another person for what is taking place within them, they wouldn’t be taking responsibility. It would then be normal for them to try to oppress others as a way to avoid their own pain.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
On one hand, there is where one will meet someone who they will become friends with, and on the other hand, there is reason why they will become friends with them. And when it comes to where they can meet someone, this is not going to be limited to one place.
There will be the more traditional places, such as where they work and different social clubs, and as a result of the internet, it is also possible for one to meet people online. It could be said that this is the more direct approach, as one is going to be in the kind of environments where friendships are generally formed.
In the past, one wouldn’t have met people online, and this is because this option simply wasn’t available. During the early stages, one could have used a forum or an online chat room to meet people.
And while this is something that can still take place, one can end up using a social media site instead. One can then join a group or connect to someone through replying to a comment that they have made.
However, when it comes to a more indirect approach, it would relate to the kind of environments where friendships are not generally formed. In this case, one will develop a connection with someone when they least expect it.
This could be something that will take place if they were to go shopping or to have their car repaired, for instance. If this was to take place, it could mean that one is fairly outgoing, but at the same time, this might not be the case.
Just as there are a number of places where one can meet a new friend, there are just as many reasons to as to why they would become friends with them. In general, it will be down to the fact that they have something in common.
For example, if one enjoys playing golf and they were to meet someone who has the same hobby, they could end up striking up a friendship. This could then go one step further and they could end up playing together.
Thus, as one has something in common with them, it has enabled them to develop a new friendship. And while they might only play golf with them, they could end up doing other things together.
Having said that, having one thing in common is not always going to be enough, and it could be said that there will always be other factors involved. Therefore, if someone else said that they like playing golf, it might not have an effect on them.
When one ends up developing a friendship with someone, there can be what is taking place on the surface and what is taking place at a deeper level. On the surface, it will relate to what they have in common, and when comes to what is occurring at a deeper level, it can relate to their values.
What will also play a part is how one feels about themselves, or what is often described as their level of self-worth. When one’s values match up with someone else’s and they have a similar level of self-worth, there can be a greater chance of them developing a strong friendship.
One way of looking at this would be to say not every friend that one has is going to be on the same level. There will be some people who they see when they go out, but that will be as far as it goes.
Whereas there will be other people who they see because they have arranged to see them. With these people, they won’t just talk about what they have been doing; they will also talk about what they have been through and what they want to achieve, among other things.
Another way of looking at this will be to say that one won’t experience intimacy with every friend they have. And even though one may know why they only open up to some of their friends, this might not be something they think about,
What it could come down to is that they feel comfortable around the people they open up to and not as comfortable around the ones they don’t. This will be the sensible approach to take, as if one was to share everything with everyone they know, they would set themselves up to suffer.
Yet, even though one can have the ability to assess what someone is like, it doesn’t mean they will always know what their intentions are. At times, it will be clear as to why they are friends with someone, and at other times, it might not be.
For example, one could find that they have a connection with someone and this could be based on their interests, as well as their values. Still, if one was to take a closer look, they may find that there is more to it than meets the eye.
Along with these factors (as well as others), one may find that the other person is attracted to them, and this could be a member of the same or the opposite sex. If this is a member of the opposite sex, it might stand out more than if it was a member of the same sex.
Once they come to realise what is taking place, one could dismiss it, or it could be something that has a positive effect on how they feel about themselves. Alternatively, it could cause them to feel uncomfortable, and make them question how authentic the friendship is.
Now, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with one having a friend who is attracted to them, as it could be said that this is simply part of life. However, there is also the chance that once they no longer find them attractive or find someone else that catches their eye; the friendship could come to an end.
It is then not going to be a friendship that is based on firm foundations, and it would be more like the kind of relationship one would have with a lover. In this instance, their partner could no longer find them attractive and then the relationship could come to an end.
But without going this far and only looking at what will take place within the friendship; it would be normal for one to be suspicious. One won’t know if their friend enjoys their company because they appreciate them or because they want to take things further, so to speak.
If one finds themselves in this position, it will be down to them to decide what approach to take. They could enjoy it while it lasts, or they could take a step back and focus on their real friendships.
Oliver JR Cooper
Relationships: Why Do Some People's Relationships Come To An End When They Start To Work On Themselves?
On one hand, one’s life can be an expression of their true-self, and on the other hand, it can be an expression of their false-self. When it is an expression of the former, they are going to spend time with people who know they are.
As a result of this, it will be possible for them to experience intimacy, and it could then be said that their relationships are likely to be deeply fulfilling. This is not to say that their life has always been this way though, as there may have been a time when this wasn’t the case.
However, if their life is an expression of their false-self, there is a strong chance that they will spend time with people who don’t know who they are. Or this could mean that others only get to see their true-self on the odd occasion, for instance.
But even though there could be times when other people will realise this; there is also the chance that they won’t. The reason for this is that if one is out of touch with themselves, it can mean that they will be surrounded by people who are in the same position.
Thus, this can then mean that it is not going to be possible for them to experience intimacy. When they spend time around others, they could end up having surface level conversations, or they could end placing their attention on someone else’s life.
Therefore, they won’t talk about how they feel, and if someone else was to open up, it doesn’t mean that they will do the same thing. Instead, one could end up acting like a caregiver, and this could stop the other person from giving anything in return.
When one experiences life in this way, it could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. What took place during their childhood years may have been the defining factor.
At the same time, what took place during their adult years may have also have played a part in their inability to reveal their true-self. For example, one may have been through a break up, and instead working through the pain they experienced, they may have disconnected from their true feelings.
On The Surface
This would have caused them to leave their body, and while it would have stopped them from experiencing so much pain, it would have set them up to suffer in the long run. There is the chance that one didn’t consciously choose to avoid their pain, and that this was something that just happened, or perhaps they did everything they could to avoid how they felt.
Yet if one is out of touch with how they feel due to what took place during their early years, they wouldn’t have had the same amount of control. During these early years, one would have been dependent on their caregivers, and if they were not available, one may not have had any other option than to disconnect from how they were feeling.
From The Beginning
Their early years would then not have been a time where they were able to develop a strong connection to their true-self; it would have been a time where they had to develop a false-self. This was not something that they choose to do; it was something that they had to do in order to survive.
One way of looking at it would be to say the pain that they experienced during this time pushed them out of their body, and the pain that they have experienced in their adult years would have kept them there. And until they are able to work through this pain, they will continue to be out of touch with their true-self.
Taking the First Step
If one was to get to a point in their life where they have had enough, they may begin to look for answers. This doesn’t mean that they will focus on what is taking place in their body, as they might end up focusing on their mind.
One may come to believe that they need to change their beliefs and to think positive, for instance. Through doing this, it will be allow them to express their true-self and to experience intimacy.
A Common Approach
But while this might give them a sense of hope and pump them up, it is not going to deal with what is taking place in their body. Still, it is a lot easier to change what is taking place in the mind than it is to work through what is taking place in the body.
This is why the self-development industry is so one-sided, and rarely talks about the importance of working through emotional pain. If one was to focus on their mind and to ignore their body, their relationships might stay the same.
But once they start to face how they feel, they could soon find that their relationships begin to change. This could mean that some of the people they spend their time with will also end up going through a similar process.
Along with this, one may also find that there will be certain people who will begin to drift away. This could mean that these people no longer feel comfortable in their company, and unless one goes back to what they were like before, this might not change.
As one is facing their pain, it could remind these people of what they are not willing to face within themselves. And as a way for them to keep this pain at bay, it will be necessary for them to keep their distance.
If one was to ask them why they are doing this, they might not be able to answer, and this would show that they are not aware of what is taking place. At the same time, they could try to make one feel bad for what they are doing.
It will be important for one to realise that they are doing the right thing, and if they need extra support during this time, they may need to work with a therapist and/or a support group.
Oliver JR Cooper
One of the things that people generally do when they have a social media account (or a number of them), is to share pictures of themselves. This can be something that takes place when one wants to update their profile picture, or it could take place more often.
If one only takes pictures of themselves when they update their profile picture, it could mean that they usually upload pictures when they are with others. It could also be a sign that one doesn’t use social media very often.
A Common Occurrence
On the other hand, if one was to unload a lot of pictures of themselves, it could mean that they don’t upload a lot of pictures where they are with others. Along with this, it could also be a sign that they spend a lot of time on social media.
At the same time, this might not be the case, and one could also upload a lot of pictures where they are with others. And just because one uploads a lot pictures, it doesn’t necessarily mean they spend a lot of time on social media.
Black and White
Similarly, even though one doesn’t upload a lot of pictures of themselves, it doesn’t mean that they will have a lot of pictures where they are with others. And while this may also mean that they don’t use social media very often, this might not be the case.
What this shows is that this is not something that is black and white, and that there are a number ways in which one can use social media. However, what can’t be denied is the fact that people have started taking more pictures of themselves since social media was created.
In The Past
If one took pictures in the past, there was a strong chance that it would have been of something they liked, or it might have been of other people, for instance. But if they did take a picture of themselves, it may have been due to the fact that they needed to renew their passport or drivers licence.
Nowadays, this has all changed, and one can take a picture of themselves simply because they feel like it. And while this could just have their face in it; it could also be a way for them to show others where they are.
The Next Step
Once they have taken a picture, they can see how they look, and if they don’t look right, they can take another. Yet if they find that something isn’t right no matter how many they take, they can simply edit the image.
This then allows one to create the ‘perfect’ image, and once this is done, they can share the image online. And as to how long one spends doing this can depend on a number of different factors.
For example, if one is relatively young and their image means a lot to them, they could end up putting a lot of time and effort into creating the right picture. But if one is slightly older or they are not too caught up in how they look, they might not even bother editing a picture; or if they do, it might only relate to a few minor alterations.
When they upload the image to a social media site, it could be seen by hundreds or even thousands of people. This picture could end up being their new profile picture or it could just be another image for them to share with others.
The reason they have shared an image could be because they want to show off their new appearance, or it could be because they want to let their ‘friends’ know where they are, for instance. This could also be a time where they want to change how they feel about themselves.
As a result of this, they will be looking to receive as many ‘likes’ and comments as they can get. And through receiving this feedback, it will end up having a positive effect on their well-being.
Time to Time
One could be in a position where this is something they do from time to time, or it could be something that takes place on a regular basis. When it takes place on a regular basis, it could be a sign that one is going through a challenging time in their life, or it may mean that they find it hard to experience emotional stability.
If one shares an image to express themselves, it might not matter what feedback they receive. However, if one shares an image in order to change how they feel, they are likely to have a greater level of attachment.
And although one can use pictures of their face in order to receive attention, they can also find other ways. This will give them an even greater chance of standing out, and it can then be a lot easier for them to receive the ‘likes’ and comments they need.
On one hand, they could take a picture of themselves where they are holding a pet, and on the other hand, they could go one step further and hold a wild animal. When it relates to the former, it could be said that one won’t be violating the animal, but when it relates to the latter, this is not going to be the case.
As a result of this, one will be treating the animal like it is nothing more than an object, and this could severely harm the animal. In some cases, it could result in the animal’s life coming to an end.
What this shows is how important empathy is, as if one is able to put themselves in the animals shoes, so to speak, they are less likely to harm them. If, on the other hand, one is unable to empathise, it will be a lot easier for them to harm an animal.
Now, clearly social media is not to blame here, as the majority of people that use it won’t harm an animal in order to receive more ‘likes’ and comments. If one does use animals to receive more attention, it will be important for them to take a step back and to think about the effect this is having.
Oliver JR Cooper
If one was to say to another person that celebrities receive a lot of exposure in today’s world, they are likely to agree with them. There is also the chance that one could say this and someone else might not be aware of this.
In this case, it could be a sign that they don’t read the paper or watch the news, and they might not even use the internet either. At the same time, it may mean that they have been living in a remote location for a number of years.
This is because if someone lives in the mainstream society, there is a strong chance that they will be only to aware of what the one is talking about. If they don’t, they are going to be the exception as opposed to the rule.
And if even someone doesn’t read the paper, watch TV, or use the internet; they could still come into contact with celebrity news whenever they go shopping. Or they could hear their friends or colleagues talk about someone in the public eye.
But while there are going to be people who say that it doesn’t matter what celebrities are doing as they are not that important in the grand scheme of things; there are going to be others who have a completely different outlook. In their eyes, everything else will be seen as being irrelevant.
Or if they don’t have this outlook, they could say that it is just as important as the other things that are taking place in the world. Either way, they are going to believe that celebrity news is real news.
So when one pays attention to what celebrities are doing, it could be something that takes place from time to time. As a result of this, it could be said that it is just another part of their life.
On the other hand, it could be something that consumes their whole existence, and this could mean that other areas of their life will end up being neglected. It is then not going to be a small part of their life; it will be something they can’t live without.
Point of Focus
There could be a number of people in the public eye who they are drawn to and there could be others who repel them. Based on this, they could either focus on the ones they like, or they could have moments where they focus on the ones they don’t like in order to change how they feel.
This could be a time where they criticise somewhere in order to feel better about themselves, or they might look to see if this person is going through a bad patch. Thus, even though they might not know what the other person is like in real life, they will have built-up an idea in their mind and this will have been shaped by the media, along with other sources.
In The Past
When one didn’t have the ability to use the internet on a device, it would have been a lot harder for them to stay up to date with their favourite celebrities. They would have had to buy a magazine or to watch TV, for instance.
Nowadays, this is something that is no longer necessary, as through having a device, one can find out about them no matter where they are. There is then no reason for them to go a day without finding out about what they are doing.
And through being able to do this, one can end up feeling even closer to the people in the public eye. This can be a time where one can read about what they have been doing and/or they can watch videos.
If they follow a well known celebrity, there is likely to be a steady flow of new information about them. This is not going to be the only thing they can do though, as one can go one step further.
The only thing they need to have in order to do this is to have a social media account, and this will allow them to connect directly to a celebrity. This is because there is a strong chance that their favourite celebrities with have their own page online.
And by ‘following’ them or ‘liking’ their page, one will be able to be informed about what they are doing each day. They will then have the chance to look at their pictures, watch the videos they upload and to read the statuses they share, for instance.
A Bigger Impact
This may also mean that they end up communicating with a celebrity from time to time, and it would have been a lot harder for them to do this before. Therefore, through being able to connect with them on social media, one can feel as though they actually know them.
It can then be a lot easier for one to become obsessed with a certain celebrity (or a number of them). They will be able to receive a constant flow of information and this can cause them to develop a stronger connection.
And even though the relationships they have with them are going to be one side and thus not very fulfilling, they could end up suffering when they are unable to stay up to date with what they are doing. In order for them to settle themselves down, they will need to stay in regular contact with them.
It would be easy to say that social media is at fault here, but that wouldn’t be the complete truth. For one thing, there are likely to be plenty of people who are not obsessed with celebrities even though they follow them.
What this is likely to show is that one feels as though something is missing in their life or they are experiencing pain, and through being focused on people in the public eye, it allows them to feel better. If this is something that is having a negative effect on one’s life, it might necessary for them to reach out for external support.
Oliver JR Cooper
If one was to think about a close friend, it could be someone they have known for a number of months or it may be a number of years. Yet regardless of how long they have known each other for, they will have a strong connection.
And through having this bond, their life is going to be a lot more fulfilling, and it will also make it easier. One could be in a position where they have a number of close friends, and these people are also going to play a significant part in their life.
On one hand, there is the chance that one will stay friends with someone until their time on this earth comes to an end (or until the other persons time comes to an end. And on the other hand, there is the chance that their friendship will come to an end before that happens.
There will be people in the past that stayed friends with someone until the end, and there are bound to be people who will also have this experience in the future. It could be said that the ideal will be for one to stay friends with someone for their whole life.
The time that they spend together will give them a deeper understanding of each other, and this will make it easier for them to show their support. At times, this could relate to something significant and at other times, it could relate to something that is not.
For example, if one of them was feeling down, the other might know where to take them in order to cheer them up. At the same time, one of them could also be able to have the same effect by taking the time to listen to them.
The Right Option
However, if one didn’t have a deeper understanding, it would be a lot harder for them to know what option to take. When one has this understanding, it can be because they have known them for so long.
Thus, this further emphasises how import long term friendships are, as they are going to be deeply rewarding. Still, this doesn’t mean that one can’t have this kind of friendship with someone who they haven’t known for very long.
Having said that, it would be inaccurate to say that one can’t have this kind of experience with someone they have only known for a short while. As long as they both have the ability to emphasise, it can take place without too much time having passed.
So when one has a connection with someone, they could feel as though they have been friends them for a very long time. On the other side of this, one could have been friends with someone for ages and not have the same connection.
Old Friends Are the Best Friends
Therefore, it although it is often said that old friends are the best friend, this is clearly not the case. But as this is a saying that has been ingrained into people’s minds over the years, it can be hard for them to realise this.
Another thing that is often said is that the ‘right’ people stay in someone’s life and the ‘wrong’ ones don’t. However, what this overlooks is the fact that the people who are only in one’s life for a short while can also be the ‘right’ ones.
If old friends are indeed the best friends that would also mean that it wouldn’t be possible for one to experience a closer connection someone they haven’t known for long. And just because someone is only in one’s life for a short while, it doesn’t mean it was a waste of time meeting them.
What one learns or realises through having that person in their life could have far greater impact on their life than what they would learn through having someone in their life for a number of years, for instance. But if one believes that someone has to stay around for a certain amount of time in order to have a positive effect on their life, it can cause them to overlook the fact that they were the ‘right’ one.
One way of looking at this would be to say that if one believes that their life should always be a certain way, it will set them up to suffer unnecessarily. It will then be normal for them to believe that their life is going in the wrong direction.
Yet if they were able to put their expectations to one side and to trust, they may begin to find that their life is going in the right direction. The reason it can be hard to notice this is because this is not always something that will take place straight away.
Still, regardless of how long one has been friends with someone, there can come a time when a friendship will come to an end. This can be something that will cause one to experience pain, or they might end up feeling relieved.
There are a number of reasons why two people would be drawn together, and one of these reasons is that they carry similar wounds, so to speak. What can then keep them together is if they don’t work on these wounds or if they both work on them, and what can cause them to drift apart is if only one of them heals these wounds.
Along with this, one of them may have changed their outlook in life, and they could find that being around the other no longer nourishes them. This could mean that their values have changed.
Another thing that can do it is one of them has treated the other in a bad way, or if they have done a number of things to erode the connection that they had. Perhaps one of them has been having an affair with the others partner, or they have been abusing them in some way.
If one feels relieved after a friendship has come to an end, they might be able to carry on with the rest of their life. However, if this is something that has caused one to experience a strong reaction (regardless of whether they are relieved or not), they might need to reach out for external support.
Oliver JR Cooper
When one uses social media, it gives them the chance to express themselves in a number of ways. As a result of this, it can be somewhere where they share things from time to time and stay up to date with people, or it can be so much more.
In this case, it could be a small part of one’s life or it could be seen as extension of who they are. Therefore, when one goes online, it will be somewhere where they can express their true-self.
So while one can be in a position where they are unable to do this in the real world, this is not going to be the case when they go online. At the same time, they may find that they can only be themselves at certain times when they are offline.
The kinds of restrictions that one experience’s in the real world are not going to be found when they use social media. For one thing, they will be behind a screen and this means that they are unlikely to experience too much pressure.
If one was to express their true-self offline, for example, this would be something that takes place through how they behave and the kind of life they lead. And in order for one’s behaviour and their life to be a reflection of who they are, they would need to be in touch with their feelings and needs.
Now, this is not to say that their life will always be an expression of these aspects, but that they would play a significant role in what their life is like. If, on the other hand, they were out of touch with their needs and feelings, it would be a challenge for them to express their true-self.
What is also important is that one will need to feel that it is safe for them to express who they are. As if one didn’t feel safe in their body, it wouldn’t be possible for them to express their true-self on a consistent basis.
In fact, it could mean that it stops them from being who they really are, and it would then be normal for them to be who others want them to be (or who they think they want them to be). This shows that it is not enough for one to be in touch with their needs and feelings; they also need to feel that it is safe enough for them to express them.
When one expresses their true-self online, it is going to be something that generally takes place through the kinds of things they share. One of the most important things will be the profile picture that they use.
And not only can they make sure that they get the right angle; they can also make a number of changes to the picture itself. This then gives them the chance to look perfect, and this is something that they wouldn’t be able to do in the real world.
As well as this, one can share pictures on their wall, and while these pictures might have their face in them, they might not. One could have the need to upload ‘Selfies’ on a regular basis and/or they could share pictures of what they have been doing with friends and/or family, for instance.
During the moments when this is not taking place, it can be a time where they talk about what they have been doing and how they feel. These are just a few of the ways in which one can express their true-self online.
One Step Further
However, when one shares pictures or talks about how they feel, for instance, it could be said that they rely on other people to develop certain conclusions about them. And there is also the chance that the kinds of things they share won’t have the desired effect.
Thus, what one can also do in order to express who they are is to label themselves, and in today’s world, there are plenty of descriptions for them to choose from. Through using these descriptions, other people will only need to view their profile in order to understand who they are.
And while some of these descriptions are relatively new, there are others that have been around for quiet some time. What it all comes down to is that social media has made it easier for people to use them.
One can use these descriptions to reveal their sexual orientation, gender identity and religious affiliation, among other things. This then gives one the ability to reveal a lot about themselves to others, and there will then be no need for them to do anything else.
When one labels themselves, it is going to be seen as something that allows them to express their true-self, and this means that it is empowering. But although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that everyone is going to have the same outlook.
For some people, it is going to be hard for them to understand why someone would want to label themselves. And this is likely to come down to the fact that people are often told that they shouldn’t label others.
It is that when one labels another person, it can stop them from being able to see them as a whole human being. As a result of this, their very essence ends up being overlooked, and one can end up seeing them as an object.
Now, when one labels themselves it could be said that it is different, as they are the ones who are choosing what labels to use. Yet at the same time, one is also putting themselves in a box, so to speak, and their very essence is being overlooked.
A Cover Up
There is also the chance that one can end up using labels instead of doing what they need to do to develop themselves. In this sense, a label gives them something else to hide behind and allows them to feel ‘special’.
If one was to take the time to develop themselves and to embrace their inherent value, it would take work, and it might also cause them to feel uncomfortable. But by using labels, they can feel different without needing to do anything.
If one can relate to this, it might be a good idea for them to take a step back from social media and to develop themselves. This will make it easier for them to live the kind of life what they want to live in the real world as opposed to simply creating their ideal life online.
Oliver JR Cooper
If one was to talk about the world, there is a strong chance that the mainstream media will have played a part in what they have to say. And this could be a time where one will talk about what is currently taking place in their own country, as well as what it is like in other countries.
This is likely to be information that they have picked up through reading the paper, watching TV and listening to the radio. Throughout their life, they may have spent a lot of time absorbing information from these different sources.
The amount of time they will have spent can all depend on how old they are, and on how often they pay attention to the media. Along with this, one could be in a position where they are happy to believe everything they are told.
In this case, they will accept everything they come across, and it is not going to matter whether they are being told the truth. It is then going to be similar to a child who is told to eat something; it won’t matter if they like it or not, or it it’s good for them.
They will eat it because one of their caregivers has told them to eat it, and this comes down to the fact that they can trust them. Now, it could be said that there would be no reason for ones caregivers to lie to them, and the same goes for the mainstream media.
But even though a caregiver is meant to look after their child, this doesn’t mean that this always takes place. For example, there are some children who are abused by caregivers/s, and this shows that they haven’t always got their best intentions in mind.
And while one may believe that the media is there to inform them, this doesn’t mean that this is always the case. What his comes down to is that the media has their own agenda, and if one finds out about something, there is good chance that it is because they want them to.
Half and Half
However, even if one only accepted some of the things that they hear, they can still be caught up in what the people behind the scenes want them to focus on. Thus, one can have absolutely no idea when it comes to what is actually taking place.
On one hand, one could accept certain things and then reject others, and on the other hand, they could be drawn to certain sources. When this happens, one could believe that the paper they read or the station they watch, for instance, shares the truth.
But regardless of what approach one has, they are going to be in a position where their mind is full of false information. Yet all the time they consume what is being provided, there is not much chance that they will realise this.
It could be said that this is not the truth, as if one was to come across the right information they would soon change their outlook. In theory, this can sound right, but in reality, this is unlikely to take place.
When one believes something, it can stop them from being able to experiencing anything that goes against it. And if they were to come across something that goes against what they believe, they could end up ignoring it.
Also, one could end up attacking the people who have a different outlook, and say that they are the ones who are wrong. If this was to take place, it would show that they are more concerned with being right than finding out the truth.
The Perfect Scenario
But in the eyes of the mainstream media, this will be seen as the perfect scenario, and this will also make their job a lot easier. This is because one will be the perfect slave, on one side, and on the other side, they will keep other people in line.
There is then less reason for the media to criticise other sources of information, as the people who consume what they provide will do it for them. One way to look at this is to imagine sheep rounding themselves up as opposed to this being something that takes place with a sheep dog.
This is not to say that every person they come across will get in line, as there will be people who will stand their ground. These are likely to be people who are able think for themselves.
At the same time, there will be plenty of people who won’t take this approach, and they will end up going along with what the mainstream tells them. When this takes place, their need to belong could be what stops them from being able to come to their own conclusions.
So what this all comes down to - when one only pays attention to the mainstream media - is that they will have an false idea of what is taking place in the world. What they consume is going to have an impact on what they do and on the kinds of conversations they have with others.
If they were to hear about something that they feel passionate about, they could even go one step further and write their own blog or go on a demonstration, for instance. In their mind, they will believe that they are doing the right thing; however, if it relates to something the media has made up in order to control or detract people, they will doing more harm than good.
However, unless one is able to stand back and to question what they hear, they will continue to be taken advantage of. Without realising it, they will be working for the mainstream media, and this will be something that takes place without one needing to be paid to do it.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Teacher, Author, Transformational Writer & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part One
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part Two
A Dialogue With The Spirit
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