Being happy is often seen as the purpose of life, and this means that a lot of people want to experience life in this way. Therefore, if someone is unhappy, they can feel compelled to find a way to be happy.
Now, this could mean that they will come to believe that they will be happy once they have attained or achieved something. And, after this takes place, they will finally be able to live a life that is worth living. On the Outside It is then going to be as though one is out in the cold and, once they are allowed into a warm building, it will be different. Perhaps one could believe that they will be happy when they finally get their dream job. Alternatively, they could believe that this will be how they feel when they meet the person of their dreams. Either way, something ‘out there’ will have the power to control how they feel in life. Back to Reality If one was able to get their dream job or to find their ideal partner, they might feel happy for a little while, but it probably won’t last. What this comes down to is that sooner or later, their mind will adapt to what is taking place. As a result of this, it will need something else create the same emotional experience that one had when they first experienced something. This is then no different to how one can enjoy eating a certain type of food, yet if they were to eat the same thing every day, they would soon lose interest. A Game that Can’t Be Won With this in mind, it is going to be clear that one will need to have a different approach if they want to be happy. If they don’t, they are dong to waste a lot of time and energy, and they are going to experience a lot of anger and frustration. What they want will always be out of their reach; it will be like running towards the end of a rainbow to collect the treasure. No matter how far they run, they won’t be able to achieve their desired outcome. Another Way Instead of looking outside for happiness, one could look into what is stopping them from being able to embrace the present moment. As if they were able to do this, they wouldn’t need to be attached to the future. This doesn’t mean that they can’t have goals; what it means is that they won’t be so caught up in future that it causes them to overlook their point of power – the present moment. After all, it is what they do in this moment that will have the biggest effect on what will happen later on. A Closer Look It is then going to be a good idea for them to look into why their life is not very fulfilling. What this could show is that they are in a lot of pain, or maybe they feel as though they have no control over their life. If they are in pain, they could look into what is going on and then to reach out for the right assistance. For example, if one feels sad, they might need to work with a therapist or some kind of healer. Disempowered On the other hand, if they feel as though they have no effect on their reality, it is going to make it difficult for them to fulfil their needs. And, if they can’t fulfil their needs, they are not going to be able to listen to their true-self. Instead, they will have to live a life that doesn’t reflect on they are; it will be as though they are an extension of others. Living life in this way is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. On the Wrong Track Through experiencing life in this way, it can make their life unbearable, and it is then going to be normal for them to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, as well as being caught up in what happened in the past. It can be as though they are on one side of the spectrum and in the future, they will be on the other. However, if they listened to their own needs and did what they could to fulfil them, they would probably feel empowered. This doesn’t mean that they will always be full of joy and gratitude, but they will be living a meaningful life. A Big Difference When one lives a life that is deeply meaningful and they are on the right track, their need to be happy all the time is likely to disappear; in fact, they might not even think about being happy any longer. What they do will be deeply enriching, so enriching that it will make it easier for them will go along with whatever happens. Another way of looking at this would be to say that it will be as if they are eating a cake that is so nourishing that they don’t care about if it has icing on the top or not. The icing, like happiness, will pale in comparison to the real cake, or a life of meaning. Two Things In order to experience life in this way, they will not only need to be in touch with their needs, they will also need to feel safe enough to fulfil them. Being in touch with them is one thing, but it is another thing altogether to do something about them. If one was to find that they don’t feel as though it is safe for them to assert themselves and to go after what it is they desire, it could show that they are carrying trauma. Their sense of safety will have been undermined and this will have an effect on their ability to act like an individual. Awareness There is the chance that one has been this way for a long as they can remember, and this could show that they were abused and/or neglected when they were younger. This would have been a time when it wasn’t safe for them to exist and, although they are no longer a child, they will still be responding to life in the same way. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external assistance. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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As time goes by, it is becoming increasingly difficult for someone to speak their mind in the United Kingdom. Free speech – the ability for someone to share their views – is gradually been curtailed.
As a result of this, certain things are now being called ‘hate speech’. But even though free speech is gradually being taken away, it is as though it is being done for benefit of the people who live in the country. The Right Thing The people at the top make out that certain things shouldn’t be said, with this being why there are things that are classed as ‘hate speech’. These people at the top, then, who know what is best, are there to make sure that the country is better for everyone. It can seem as though this is worth it; that’s if it leads to a more harmonious nation. The biggest issue with this is that who decides what is or what isn’t acceptable? Another Form of Control What is clear is that the people in power are more interested in controlling people than doing what they can to allow them to stand on their own two feet. But, if this took place, these people at the top would be out of a job. With this in mind, these people can’t reveal their true motives; they have to create the impression that everything they do is to help others. If they didn’t do this, and their motives were clear, it would probably cause an uprising. Something to Consider So, if someone says something that is classed as hate speech, a lot of people are going to believe that this person needs to be silenced. What will make it easier for these kinds of people to say this is that they will still be able to say what they want; their views will be seen as acceptable. But even if this is the case at this point in time, there could come a time when what they come out with will also be classed as ‘hate speech’. This is something that these kinds of people need to bear in mind. Repression The trouble is that even if someone like this is silenced, it doesn’t mean that their views will simple transform. What could happen, though not being able to express their views in this manner, is that they could end up doing something that will actually cause harm. This is then similar to how if someone doesn’t listen to their emotions, they can repress how they feel. In the short-term this might work, but as time passes, it could cause them to do something incredibly destructive. The Civilised Approach But although repression is generally not the best approach, it is often how a society keeps people in line. If, on the other hand, people were allowed to share their views and to have these views challenged, it would allow growth to occur. This would then be a time when it would become clear as to whether what someone says is based on ignorance or if there is some truth to it. What this would do is make it a lot easier for people to grow and to be able to face reality. A Big Problem Yet, while this is how a civilised society would be, it would be a lot harder to cover things up if this were to take place. The establishment doesn’t want people to be able to call a spade a spade; they want people to be out of touch with reality. What this comes down to is that if they were to do this, it would cause them to notice things that are not right. This is then why they need people to disregard what their own senses tell them. The Rebels While there are plenty of people in this country who are willing to play along by their rules, there are plenty of others who aren’t. These kinds of people are a threat, not because they are doing anything wrong, but because they have the ability to face reality. Political correctness has not taken away their ability to see what is going on around them and/or in other parts of the country. This doesn’t mean that these people won’t feel as though they are walking on egg shells; what it means is that this is not something that is going to completely hold them back. What’s going on? The question is: why are the people at the top so worried about certain people being able to see what is going around them? Who are these people scared of upsetting? So scared that they are trying to stop people from paying attention to what they see with their own eyes. These people must realise that the longer this goes on, the harder it will be for them to silence people. And, if these people can’t talk about what is going on, it might only be a matter of time before they resort to violence. Let Down The people at the top, who are supposed to work for the people, not the other way around, and to protect them, will be at fault. Due to their own moral cowardice, they will have left these people with no choice. Naturally, there is only so long that the current approach will work; sooner or later, the lid will blow off, so to speak. And the longer that people are pushed down, the further they will rise when they can no longer take any more. Conclusion The ideal would have been for people to push back as soon as their right to express their views started to be undermined. But, as this was done in an indirect manner, along with the fact that there are so many distractions in today’s world, this wasn’t possible. One way of looking at all this would be to say that in the same way that someone doesn’t just end up in prison, a society doesn’t simply end up like as a police state overnight. This approach has been described as the ‘totalitarian tiptoe’, whereby it happens so slowly that most people don’t realise what’s going on, and, as a destructive as this is, it is clearly a very effective way to do it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to living a fulfilling life, it is going to be vital for someone to be able to listen to their own needs. The other part of this will be for them to feel comfortable enough to fulfil them.
A Life worth Living This is not to say that they will always be able to fulfil their needs, but what it does mean is that they won’t have the tendency to neglect them. What this will show is that one feels as though it is safe enough for them to be on this planet. Feeling this way at a deeper level is what gives them the ability to act like a separate human being. One will be part of the human race, yet they will still be able to act as though they have their own purpose to fulfil while they are here. One Area Thus, when it comes to their career, they might have achieved a certain level of success. This will be something that they do for themselves, as opposed to something that they do to look good in the eyes of others. Conversely, they could be working towards something, meaning they could be studying or undergoing some kind of training. Perhaps they are at the beginning of their life, or maybe they stopped doing something that was no longer meaningful. Another Area If one was to think about the people in their life, they may find that these are people who they want to spend time with. It is then not that these people are just their for the sake of it; there are there for a reason. These are going to be people who one feels safe around and this likely to show that they have good boundaries. Therefore, as these people are not going to have the inclination to walk over them, they won’t need to have their guard up around them. Drawing the Line However, even if one of these people were to do something that they didn’t feel comfortable with, it doesn’t mean that they would put up with it. Through having a strong connection with themselves, they would realise what is going on and this would allow them to do something about it. When it comes to how they respond, it can all depend on what has taken place. For example, if another person did something that caused them to feel uncomfortable, they could simply tell them this directly. Another Example There are also going to be moments when one is asked if they would like to do something that they don’t want to do. And, instead of just saying yes, they will be able to say no without feeling as though they have done something wrong. So, in addition to feeling safe, they are going to value themselves enough to pay attention to what is best for them. What might also make this easier is that they will understand that other people won’t always be able to say yes, for this very reason. The Norm When someone experiences life in this way, it can be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. Due to this, they are not going to know what their life would be like if they didn’t feel this way. As a result of this, they could see people who don’t assert themselves and wonder what is going on. They might believe that these people need to just stand their ground and to longer put up with bad behaviour. A New Approach Now, if someone was told that they just need to stand their ground, they might agree with what has been said. Ergo, through changing their behaviour, they may find that their life begins to change. Then again, they might not be able to do this; it could be something that causes them to be overwhelmed with fear. Part of them is going to want to listen to their own needs and to assert themselves, but another part of them is not going to allow them to do this. Inner Conflict The part of them that is going to be in control will be the part of them that wants them to do what other people want them to do. One is then going to be look like one person from the outside, but it will be as though they are at least two people on the inside. It could be said that their conscious mind wants them to assert themselves and their unconscious mind doesn’t. Another way of looking at it would be to say that their adult self wants them to live in a certain way and the wounded child within them wants them to live in another way. A Deeper Look What this can show is that there was a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to exist. Perhaps their early years were a time when they were abused in some way, causing them to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to be on this planet. The lower part of their body - the part that defines whether or not they feel safe - might be carrying a lot of trauma. What is going on for this part of them is then going to impact the rest of their body, as well as how their mind perceives the world. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer, for instance. Through releasing the trauma that is being held in their central nervous system, it will allow them to feel safe. Once they feel this way, it will be a lot easier for them to assert themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that the main purpose of the education system is to give people the guidance that they need in order to be able to think for themselves. Along with this, it will be important for them to receive the tools that they need to stand on their own two feet.
In an ideal world, that is what would happen during someone’s time in the education system. This would then allow someone to leave with their own mind and they would soon be able to support themselves. Back to Reality But while this is how some people will be when their time in the education system comes to an end, there are going to be plenty of people who won’t be like this. The trouble is that even if someone doesn’t know how to think for themselves, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. One way of looking at this would be to say that this shows that their indoctrination has been a complete success; the last thing that these teachers/lecturers want is for their students to see what is taking place. And when someone thinks that the views they have been given are their own, there is going to be no reason for them to change what is taking place in their mind. In The Same Boat Then again, to say that these teachers are knowingly indoctrinating people might be going a bit far. What this comes down to is that they can believe that what they are saying is the truth, meaning they won’t be doing something that is wrong. When this takes place, a teacher will pass on what they believe is the truth and a student will take it all in. It will be as if they have been given a tasty treat, a treat that they will end up swallowing. A Form of Abuse What makes it easier to indoctrinate people who are at the beginning of their life is that their brains are still developing. Taking this into account, along with the fact that they are generally not going to know a lot about the world and they will be there to learn, it is going to mean that they are in a vulnerable position. If a teacher/lecturer is aware of what they are doing, they are going to be intellectually violating other human beings. And, even if a teacher/lecturer is unable to see what they are doing because they are deluded, they are still going to be behaving in an immoral way. Modern Times One of the ways that the education system is currently indoctrinating people is through identity politics. A very simple way of looking at identity politics would be to say that certain groups are seen as being oppressed, while others groups are seen as being oppressors. Having said that, it would be more accurate to say that while people, and white men in particular, are seen as the oppressors and every other race are seen as the oppressed. It paints all white people as perpetrators and every other human being who isn’t white as victims. A Complete Framework After someone has learnt this, it is going to be normal for them to either see themselves as someone who is oppressed, that’s if they are not white, or they will see themselves as someone who oppresses others, if they are white. The former can then feel angry and believe that they are morally superior, and the latter can feel ashamed and as though their race is morally inferior. This is then going to be something that is completely black and white; they won’t need to engage their brain. It will be as though these teacher/lecturers have given them glasses, glasses that will define how they see everything. Out of Touch with Reality The down side to this is that it is going to be a challenge for someone like this to live in the real world. Instead of seeing people as individuals, individuals who have good and bad moments, for instance, they will put everyone in a different box. It then won’t matter if they come across someone who is black and is doing well, or someone who is white and has suffered their whole life, as they will project what they have been told onto these people. One is then not going to be able to empathise with other human beings; they will be completely consumed by their own mental constructs. The Death of Thinking As a result of how they have been programmed to see the world, they can have moments when they label people. This can be put down to the fact that they have been taught what to think, not how to think. Most of what they believe about the world is not going to stand up to scrutiny, so they will need to resort to words that will hopefully silence the people who do think for themselves. They can accuse someone of being a racist or a fascist, among other things, or they could say that they have some kind of phobia. Projection When someone behaves in this manner, there is also the chance that a lot of what they accuse other people of is a reflection of what is taking place within them. But as they can’t face their own issues, they end up projecting them onto others. If they were to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour, they might see that they have an irrational fear of thinking. Consequently, this is then what has caused them to internalise identity politics and to allow it to define how they perceive everything. Conclusion With this in mind, it is going to be a good idea for them to look into why they suffer from thinkaphobia. By asking this question, it can allow them to get in touch with why they avoid thinking for themselves. If they had another type phobia they might need to see a therapist, yet this might not be necessary when it comes to this type of phobia. But if they do need external support, it will be vital for them to reach out for it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
A little while ago, three public figures tried to enter the UK, only to end up behind bars for a few days. These people were seen as a threat due to the views that they had, and this meant that they had to go somewhere else once they were released.
An Odd Scenario If this is taken at face value, it can sound as though the people in power were simply looking out for their fellow human beings. Their main job, after all, is to protect the citizens who give them the money and the power to do what they do. It could then be said that is the end of it and there is no reason for anyone to look into what took place. However, while that is what a lot of people will do, there are others who are not willing to take this approach. Completely Baffled One thing that could come to mind for someone is why hundreds of jihadis have been allowed into the country. They could say that not only have they been allowed in, but they have been given all kinds of benefits. It can then seem as though there is one law for some people and another law entirely for others. Another way of looking at this would be to say that words are now seen as more dangerous than bombs. A Problem The people who ended up behind bars (or in a contained room to be more precise) are not interested in killing anyone, but for some reason, their views were seen as dangerous. So, if their views are threat to the citizenry of the United Kingdom but the people who came back from fighting in the Middle East are not, what does that say about the people at the top? What also needs to be pointed out here is that these people were trying to kill British troops while they were there. The obvious, albeit radical thing to say, is that the people at the top are working for terrorists as opposed to the citizens of the United Kingdom. Up is down, left is right If the average person was to hear this, they would probably say that that is a crazy idea and that you would have to be a conspiracy theorist to believe it. With that idea aside for the time being, it is clear that the government is not serving the people who they are supposed to serve. It is as though the government is more scared of upsetting the criminals than they are of upsetting the people who are law abiding citizens. If this is the case, who is in control of the people at the top? Who do they work for? Nothing New The fact that these three people were detained can be seen as a blatant attack on free speech, which has been going on for quite some time now. This has been done in a very underhand way, though. Clearly, if they had come out and said that they were cracking on down free speech, it wouldn’t have worked. There would have been plenty of people who would have pushed back and this would have stopped them from getting very far. The Indirect Approach The only thing that has needed to take place is to label certain things as ‘hate speech’, and it is then perfectly acceptable to silence them. What this does is tap into the average persons desire to be a good citizen and the fact that they are likely to have a fairly well-formed conscience is bound to help. This is then very similar to how the powers that be often take advantage of people’s empathy, using their good nature to manipulate them. Thus, when it comes to what is currently taking place; it shows that it is often the wrong people who are being kept in line. The Easiest Option Yet, if the British people are generally easier to control and they make up the majority of the population, unlike the people who are coming back from fighting a war, for instance, it makes complete sense to silence them. Through stopping them from speaking out, it will be a lot easier for the government to maintain control. And, if someone is not willing to suffer in silence and they do speak out, they can have them done for hate speech. Alternatively, they can just have them banned from a social media site and take their platform away. Gaslighting The trouble with this approach is that silencing the people who are in touch with reality is nothing more than a short-term solution. This is very similar to how someone can tell a passenger in the car that they are driving to shut up, when they say that they are about to drive off a cliff. It will stop this person from speaking, that is true, but it will only be a matter of time before they all die. Taking this into consideration, it is as though these hate speech laws have been set up to make people doubt what they see with their own eyes. A Big Mistake Silencing the people who can see what is going on will stop them from causing too much trouble, yet what it won’t do is deal with the problems that these people are trying to speak out about. It has been said that multiculturalism plays a part here, too, as out of the need not to offend certain groups, free speech has to go. Ultimately, these people at the top don’t want people to be able to face reality; what they want is for them to be in a deluded state. This will cause them to believe that everything is going in the right direction and this will stop them from doing anything about what is going on. Conclusion Nonetheless, one doesn’t need to be Nostradamus to see that things are likely to get worse before they get better. The government will need to crack down even further to try to stop even more people from being able to face reality. This is something that takes considerable resources, resources that could be put to better use. But due to a lack of moral courage at the top, these resources are being wasted on people who are often hard working citizens. Lastly, it has been said that the truth will set you free, but this is not always the case when it comes to living in the United Kingdom, or anywhere else for that matter. It would be more accurate to say that if you speak the truth, you could lose your job or you could even end up behind bars.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When one meets someone for the first time, they might not know anything about them. However, once they have spent a little while in their company, they will start to construct an inner model of what they are like.
This inner model is then going to define how they interpret just about everything that this person does; it will be as though they are wearing special glasses. Said another way, the kind of relationship that they have with them is going to have more to do with what is going on inside their own head than it will with what this person is actually like. Another Part And how one perceives another person’s behaviour is going to have a lot do with what is going on within them. What another person does is then not going to be anywhere near as important as how one interprets their behaviour. It is then going to be as though someone will say one word and one’s mind will make it into a sentence. Without realising it, one will project what is going on within them onto the other person. As Time Passes Now, one could find that they have a close bond with this person, or they might not be interested in having them in their life. If they do want to have them in their life, it can show that this person is happy to play along with the inner model that they have created for them. This doesn’t mean that this person will understand what is going on, though, so both of them are going to be playing the same game. The other person will have formed an inner model of them and one will also be happy to play along with it. One Direction For as long as each person has the same view of the other and they don’t change their behaviour, there will be not reason for their relationship to end. If one person changes their behaviour, it could have an effect on how the other person perceives them. Even so, this doesn’t mean that it will have a negative effect on their relationship. For example, one person could start to behave in a more assertive and the other might not be fazed by this. A Minor Change One person’s view of themselves will have changed and the other person’s view of them will also have changed. Yet, as it wasn’t something that the other person had an issue with, their relationship can carry on as before. If one person was to go through a big transformation and their behaviour was to change as a result, this might not take place. Instead, the other person might experience resistance, thereby causing them to behave in one of two ways. Two Options If this is too much for them to handle, it could cause them to cut their ties with them, and it could be said that this will be the best option. One won’t have to have someone in their life who wants to hold them back when this happens. When this doesn’t take place, the other person could try to make the other behave how they used to. It can then be a challenge for them to continue to behave in the same way. Stepping Back It would be easy to say that the other person is going out of their way to hold one back, but it is unlikely to be this black and white. There is the chance that they are not even aware of what they are doing. They are going want one to revert to how they behaved before as this will be what feels comfortable. If they were able to become aware of what is going on, it might allow them to change their behaviour. The Priority Conversely, they could come to the conclusion that it is time for both of them to go their separate ways. This will stop them from tying to hold the other person back and it will allow them to develop a new relationship. What is clear is that when one has changed and there is another person is their life who is not able to accept this, it is going to be essential for them to put their own need first. This comes down to the fact that they are not here to please other people. Long-Term Gain It might be hard for them to do this is the short-term, but it will pay off as time goes by. If they feel bad about doing this, it might be a good idea for them to ask themselves if they would want another person to comprise themselves for them. Through paying attention to their needs and fulfilling them when it is possible, their life will be far more fulfilling than it would be if the opposite took place. Living in this way takes inner strength; it is far easier for someone to play a role that other people have provided for them. Awareness Taking all this into account, it shows how it is the people who one is closest to that have the biggest effect on their life. It can be easy to believe that it is the people on the outside who have the most control, but this is not always the case. If one feels held back by the people in their life and finds it hard to assert themselves, they might need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Self-Development: Do Some People Only Judge Others If They Haven't Faced Their Own Issues?14/3/2018
When it comes to the people who are into self-development, it could be said that they all have one thing in common. What they all want is to do is to grow and to make their life better in some way.
With this in mind, it is going to be a good idea for these kinds of people to spend time with each other. Through doing this, they will be able to give each other the support that they need, thereby making it easier for them to move forward. The Ideal Someone’s life is then going to be far better if their friends are also into self-development and, if they have a partner, it will help if this person is into it. One can give these people encouragement and these people can return the favour. This is then going to be far better than it would be for them to be surrounded by people who are not interested in developing themselves. Being around people who were like this would create outer resistance. Another Problem As a result of this, not only would they need to deal with their own limits and the challenges that arise in their day-to-day life; they would also need to deal with the challenges that these people present. The energy that they would have to use to do this would be energy that they can’t put into making their life better. What they might be able to achieve in a few weeks with the right people in their life, could take a number of months if they have the wrong people in their life. Then again, it could stop them from be able to achieve anything. Part of the Journey But, even if one was to have people in their life who were not supportive, this can illustrate what they themselves need to work on. So, the fact that this is going on could show that they don’t value themselves, for instance. Along with this, they might not feel like a whole human being, which is why they can’t let these people go. Through being so concerned with losing others, it will have caused them to lose themselves. An Important Step The key is then going to be for them to get in touch with their own value and to gradually become a whole human being. Once this starts to take place, it will be a lot easier for them to walk away from the wrong people. Losing themselves to keep other people around will no longer interest them. This is a process that could take a few months, or it could take a little while longer. Opening Up When one does have supportive people in their life, it will mean that they can talk about what is going within them. Regardless of what this may be, these people will be there to listen to what they have to say. Someone is then going to empathise with them and it might be necessary for them to show compassion. If one was abused and/or neglected as a child and they were to open up about this, this type of response of going to be exactly what they need. Another Outcome Nevertheless, one could open up about what took place when they were younger and the effect that this has had on how they feel, for instance, and they could end up being judged. For example, another person could tell them to ‘get over it’ and to ‘move on’ with their life. To hear something like this could come as a surprise; especially as this person is also going to be into self-development. The person who they thought would be able to be there for them is not going to be to show them the kind of understanding that they need. Out of Touch What this can show is that this person feels worthless; the difference is that they may have disconnected from how they feel at a deeper level. How they have responded to one’s vulnerability is likely to be similar to how they respond to the vulnerable part of themselves. Perhaps their early years were also a time when they were abused in some way. Yet, while one is in touch with how they feel, this person is going to do everything they can to keep their pain at a distance. Two Types One can then congratulate themselves for having the courage to face how they feel and accept that this person is not ready to do this at this stage of their life. It is then not personal; it is just a reflection of where the other person is at in their own development. One is then not just going to be into self-developing, they will also have the desire to work through their emotional baggage. The other person is only going to be interested in doing what they can to avoid their true-self. Awareness Consequently, it might be in their best interest to limit the amount of time that they spend with them, or to cut their ties altogether. What this empathises is that just because someone is onto self-development; it doesn’t mean that they want to heal themselves. In this case, self-development can end up being another way for someone to run away from how their own pain. If someone does want to heal themselves and they are unsure about how to do this, they might need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for one to say that anther person has some kind of phobia. When someone has a phobia, it is likely to mean that they have an irrational fear of something.
If one was to say this to someone, it could show that they work in the helping profession; then again, it might not. If it relates to the former, one could be working with a client who feels uncomfortable in social situations, for instance. A Big List As a result of this, one could say that this person has a social phobia, and this is going to make it hard for them to socialise with others. But while there are going to be phobias like the one above that will make it difficult for someone to function, there are going to be others that won’t have the same effect. For example, if someone had a fear of clowns (coulrophobia), it is highly unlikely that it will stop them from being able to live their life. They may just need to avoid circuses, children’s parties and certain horror films, for instance. A Different Context If it relates to the latter, it could be a sign that one has heard someone say something about a certain group of people. At the same time, one may have come across something that someone has said on social media. In either case, someone will have painted a whole group of people as being a certain way. For example, another person may have said that all Muslims are terrorists, and this would have meant that one said that they were islamophobic. It Doesn’t End There Alternatively, someone may have said that there is something wrong with people who are gay, and this would have caused them to say that this person was homophobic. One could also say that someone is xenophobic, that’s if they don’t accept people who are from other countries. When someone’s has these kinds of views, it is going to be clear that they have a number of faulty beliefs. And due to what is taking place in their mind, it is going to be normal for them to say things that are irrational. Out In the Open Now, even if someone like this didn’t share their views in this way, what is going on within then is still going to have an effect on how they behave. Consequently, this can cause certain people to feel uncomfortable around them. If one has come from another country, they could feel as though they are not welcome, or, if they are gay, they could end up feeling ashamed. It could then be said that someone like this is not going to be willing to empathise with people like this. The Right Approach Along with this, they are not going to be willing to reflect on what they believe. If they were to engage their brain instead of being caught up in what they believe, it would give them the chance to see how irrational their views are. And, when one says that someone like this has a phobia, it is going to show that they are not willing to put up with this kind of behaviour. It is then not going to matter where someone has come from or what their sexual orientation is, for instance, as they will see them as a fellow human being. Clear-cut Taking all this into account, it would be easy to believe that someone is only going to be seen as having a phobia (or a number of them) if they have views that are irrational. This is then something that is completely black and white. However, what this would overlook is that there are going to be times when one will say this without even taking the time to think about what someone has said. Here, someone can say something and one will instantly accuse them of having some kind of phobia. Reactive As they won’t have taken the time to think about what has been said, they won’t be able to see if this person has said something that is rational. Instead, they will label this person and that will be the end of it. When this takes place, it is not going to be possible for them to realise that they are behaving in a way that is irrational. One will then have accused another person of that which they are themselves. Another Phobia They can then see themselves as someone who is better than the people who they believe have views that are irrational, yet it could be said that they are going to be deluding themselves. One might not have any of the phobias that they accuse other people of having, but they may be thinkaphobic – a phobia that makes it hard for them to think clearly. For some reason, they are not going to want to engage their brain, and this is why they resort to slander. Saying that another person has a phobia can allow them to silence them and they won’t need to provide any evidence. Conclusion Thinkaphobia is not a phobia that many people are familiar with, but it is undoubtedly just as destructive as most of the other phobias that exist. This is something that can afflict people from all walks of life; especially those who go to university, or who have been there in the past. In the same way that it can be destructive for someone in the helping profession to label a client as having a phobia before they have taken the time to understand them; it can be just as destructive for someone to accuse another person of having a phobia before they have taken a closer look at what they have said. Through looking into what someone have said, one might end up finding out that it is indeed irrational, or they might see that what they have said makes a lot of sense.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Over a year ago, I was speaking to a friend called Wain, and we were talking about what we were working on at that stage in our life. I think he was working on a few videos and I could have been putting a book together.
It was during this time that he went a little bit deeper and was curious to know how I perceived myself. So, when I said that I would soon be releasing the book, he wasn’t happy to just give me positive feedback and then to move on; he wanted to see what was going on for me. A Big Difference I was surprised by this as I was used to people giving me positive feedback when I spoke about something like this. But Wain, on the other hand, is not someone who has the tendency to say things that a lot of other people say. After he said, “how do you see yourself?” I thought about what he said and it became clear that I didn’t have an empowering view of myself. Through being so focused on doing things, it stopped me from being aware of where I was coming from. An Important Question In other words, I was so focused on what I wanted to achieve that it caused me to be unaware of why I wanted to achieve it. Ultimately, looking into how I saw myself was a way to get in touch with my self-image. With this in mind, it became clear that I had to be coming from the right place and that it wasn’t enough to simply do things. In this context, the quality of the work that I produced was only part of it; the other part was seeing myself as someone who produced quality work. A Big Effect How I saw myself would have an impact on how I presented my work, what I did with it and even the energy that was behind it. Therefore, if this part of the equation was not right, I would only be able to get so far. Part of me would be on board, but another part of me wouldn’t be going in the same direction. What I came to see was that every part of me wasn’t going in the same direction; I was sabotaging myself. Shinning the Light After being asked this question by Wain, I could have ended up getting defensive. The trouble is that if this had indeed taken place, it would have stopped me from being able to reflect on what he asked me. As a result of this, my mind would have been closed and it wouldn’t have been possible for me to grow. I knew that he was coming from the right place and I was open-minded, so fortunately this didn’t happen. Final Thoughts This is just one the many powerful questions that Wain has asked me over the years; his mind is like a guided missile. The difference is that he is not interested in destroying buildings; he is interested in destroying false beliefs and outlooks. If you would like to find out more about Wain, and the services that he offers, please go to - https://www.timetorelax.space/
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone is an empowered human being, they are going to believe that they have control over their life. Along with what they believe, there is going to be how they behave in their day-to-day life.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that their behaviour is defined by what they believe. Now, this is not to say that their life will always go as they want it to go; what it means is that they won’t feel as though their whole life is out of their control. In the Centre One can then have moments when they feel as though their life is out of their control, and they could even have moments when they feel as though they are in completely control, but they are generally going to be in the middle. Therefore, even if they do feel like a victim, this is not going to be an experience that will last for very long. Sooner or later, they will realise that this is not the truth and this allow them to reconnect to their inner power and to see that they are not just an observer of their reality. Through seeing life in this way, it is naturally going to have a positive effect on their mental and emotional wellbeing. Always a Way The reason for this is that even if they feel helpless, it won’t be something that lasts. For example, they could try something and not get anywhere, with this casing them to feel weak. In this case, they could end up reaching out for support or they could simply move on. On the other hand, if they were to feel like this practically all the time, it would be normal for them to feel depressed and to even experience anxiety. The Truth They are going to believe that they can’t do anything about their life, so why would they feel any different? Feeling depressed is also going to be a reflection of how powerless they feel and feeling anxious will be a reflection of how out of control they feel. Being on edge will be a way for them to try to minimise the damage that could be done to them. Feeling empowered is then not just going to allow one to have an effect on their reality; it will also make it easier for them to feel good on the inside. A Fulfilling Life If one was to think about their life, they may see that there are a number of things that they are happy with. But even if they were to think about the areas that need to be improved, it shouldn’t fill them with dread. Deep within them, they will know that they can do something about the parts of their life that are not going in the right direction. This doesn’t mean that they will always have the answers; what it means is that they won’t give up until they find them. From The Outside If another person was to describe them, they could say that they are an extrovert who is a larger than life character. Then again, they could say that they are fairly unassuming and don’t really stand out. What this shows it that someone doesn’t need to be really outgoing in order to be an empowered human being. Another thing that could be said about them is that they have high self-esteem. The Main Difference One way of looking at this would be to say that the reason they experience life in this way is due to the fact that they have high self-esteem. Thus, in the same way that a machine won’t work if there is no power, someone won’t be able to feel empowered if they have low self-esteem – this is their power source. Taking this into account, this is something that is very simple and not something that takes a lot of brain power to understand. However, while it can seem as though this is something that is black and white, there is a lot more to it. Two Parts What this comes down to is that for one to feel as though they can influence their life, they will need to feel as though it is safe enough for them to do so. This is then similar to how someone can have the ability to run around a field but, if this field is covered in bombs, for instance, it won’t be safe enough for them to utilise this ability. This is then why someone can load themselves up with self-esteem, but if they don’t feel safe enough to fulfil their own needs, it won’t matter. They will know that they can influence their life, yet it will be too uncomfortable for them to do so. Right at the Bottom Alternatively, one might allow themselves to change certain parts of their life or to only go to a certain level. Having the ability to do something is one thing, but it is another thing all together to feel enough to do it. So, if someone allows themselves to exercise their personal power and to have an effect on their reality, it will show that this is what feels safe. Their lower body, the part where their base charka is, is going to be working with the rest of their body. Disconnected When one doesn’t feel safe enough to assert themselves, it is likely to show that their lower body is not on board with the rest of their body. This is can show that they have experienced trauma at one point in their life. During this time, they would have felt powerless and as though it was safe for them to exist. The part of their body that will allow them to feel safe is going to be offline, and this means that it will be unable to provide them with the sense of safety that they need to be able to truly embrace life. Awareness This could relate to trauma that one has experienced as an adult and/or it could go back to what took place when they were growing up. Maybe this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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