If one had a mark on a wall in their house they could find out why this mark has appeared or they could simply paint over it. What they decide to do can all depend on whether they know why the mark has appeared and/or if they are into home improvement.
One may decide to just paint over the mark and that could be the end of it; the mark never appears again and one can forget all about it. Yet, there is also the chance that his approach won’t work, and this could be because the mark is being caused by a leak. A Closer Look What this means, is that one will need to put their paint brush to one side and to find out where the leak is. If this doesn’t take place, the wall is going to get worse, and this is because the amount of water that is coming in is likely to increase. However, even though this is what one will need to do in order to put an end to the damage that is being done (and to make sure further damage doesn’t occur), it doesn’t mean it will take place. One could continue to paint over the mark and convince themselves that they have taken care of the problem. Short-Term Solution They can then put their mind to rest, and when the mark appears once more, they can simply do the same thing. One then doesn’t have the need to take a closer look; they can just apply a short-term solution. This means that they won’t need to put in much effort and this will cause them a lot less hassle than they would experience if they were to deal with the real problem. But while this will allow them to carry on with their life in the short-term, it may set them up to experience bigger problems in the long-term. Quick Fix When the problem first appeared, they would have been focused on doing everything they can to remove it. They wouldn’t have thought about whether removing the mark was the best option. What they wanted to do was to carry on with their life as it was, and this meant that painting over the problem would have been the perfect option. There was no need for them to unsettle the rest of their life, and they could keep doing what they have always been doing. Facing the Problem In this example, it is clear to see that painting over the wall was the wrong approach, and that one needed to fix the leak. This would have meant that one would have had to put in more work in the short-term, but in the long-term it would have meant that less work would have been needed. As a result of this, the discomfort they would have experienced would soon be over, and they would be able to get on with their life. Through avoiding the problem, they would have experienced less discomfort in the short-term but more discomfort in the long-term. Another Example This is not the only area of life where someone can apply a short-term solution as opposed to taking a closer look at what is taking place. If someone has mental and/or emotional challenges, for instance, they can end up looking for a quick fix. When this happens, they are not going to look at why they are having certain thoughts and/or why they feel the way they do. Instead, they will end up being drawn to things that allow them to feel better. Decoration While this wont deal with the real problem and allow them to truly let go of the reason why they are experiencing life as they are; it will allow them to carry on with their life. For example, if someone lives in an unhealthy environment and they end up feeling depressed, it is clear to see that they need to move somewhere else. However, if they were to see a doctor, they might end up being put on some kind of antidepressants. In this case, the time has not been taken to find out about this person’s life, and they are being treated as though they are separate from their environment. A Deeper Look When it comes to a situation where someone wants to feel different or to change their thoughts, they might end up trying to cover up what is taking place within them. And while their external environment will be playing a part, it may also relate to what is taking place at a deeper level. But instead of going deeper and facing the pain that is within, they can look for ways to decorate their false self. One is then going to avoid the pain they need to face to embrace their true self, and they will do everything they can to maintain the part of them that needs to go. Self Development This can then mean that one will learn about self development, and while this can used by someone to find their true self, it can also be used to avoid it. For example, if one suffers from ‘low self-esteem’ they can start to use affirmations or to engage in positive thinking. And while this may put them on the right track, it may cause them to have an inflated sense of self. One is then going to come across as though they are out of touch with reality and their own humanity, and it will be clear to see that they don’t have a grounded sense of their value. While they will have moments where they feel on top of the world, they are also going to have moments where they come crashing back down. In the beginning, they might not notice how destructive their behaviour is on others, but as time passes it will be all too evident. Awareness Another approach would be for them to face how they feel and to process their emotions. If one has low self-esteem, for instance, it may be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame. Therefore, one will need to face their toxic shame until the charge begins to discharge, and for their inherent worth to be affirmed. When this happens, one won’t need to elevate themselves, and this is because they will have found their true self. If one needs to work on this, or anything else for that matter, they can be assisted by a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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In the past, it was generally women who were concerned about their weight, and this is partly because of how much pressure they had to face. Men on the other hand, were not under the same amount of pressure.
However, this has all changed, and while it could be said that the amount of pressure on women has increased, the pressure has only just started to build for men. On one side, this has encouraged them to look after themselves, but on the other side, it has set them up to experience the same problems as women. Healthy When someone ignores their body, it is likely to have a detrimental effect on their health. So in this case, it could be said that it is a good thing that men are now paying more attention to their weight. Based on this, the pressure that they now experience in the world is having a positive influence on their life. And if it wasn’t for this external pressure, there may be more men who end up overlooking what they can’t afford to overlook. Associations The down side to this is that it can condition people to believe that their level of health (and the health of others) is defined by how much weight they do or don’t have on their body. This can cause people to believe that they have to be certain way, and that it’s not acceptable for their body to be different. Now, if human beings were all built in the same way and had the same metabolism, for instance, this wouldn’t be a problem. But as they are not the same, this can cause people to develop an unhealthy relationship with their body, and to suffer from mental and emotional problems. Impossible Standards As a result of what they have seen through the media and the people around them, one can feel the need to match up with a certain look, and while it might be possible for them to do this, it might not. If it is possible, they might able to feel as though they are acceptable, and if they don’t, they can end up feeling as though they are unacceptable. What this shows is that even though it is important for someone to look after their body, it doesn’t mean that they have to look a certain way. The most important thing for them to do is to look after their body, and if they are able to accept the body they have, it will make their life even easier. The Public Eye A lot of the women who are in the public eye are slim, and this is something that has a massive influence on women. One reason women who are slim are often elevated is because of the amount food that is available in the western world. However, if there wasn’t much food around, carrying excess weight would be seen in a more positive light; as it would be sign of wealth and power. When someone carries access weight when there is plenty of food around, it can be taken as a sign that they lack self-control. The Illusion When someone is slim, it can be a sign that they are in good health or that they are just naturally slim. Yet, it can also be a sign that they are not eating right or that they are going through a stressful time in their life. The same is going to apply to someone who looks as though they are carrying excess weight. It could be that they are naturally bigger, are not eating right, or they may also be going through a challenging time. Worth And because of the amount of focus there is on how much weight someone is or is not carrying, it can be easy for someone to believe their value is based on them looking a certain way. All the other qualities they posses can end up being ignored, and this can turn them into a human doing. It will be a challenge for them to realise that they are enough, and that their worth is not based on how many pounds they are carrying at any given moment. This is not to say that one’s appearance is irrelevant, but at the same time, this is something that has to be put into the right perspective in order for them to look after their wellbeing. Compliments If one losses/gains a few pounds and they end up receiving a few compliments, it might have a positive effect on them. They may find that they start to feel good about themselves, and this may be the first time they have felt his way. However, the complete opposite can also occur, and this is because what they hear from others can be seen as a sign that they were not acceptable before. And while the feedback they receive can give them the motivation they need to maintain their appearance, it can also set them to believe that they will be rejected if they don’t look a certain way. Comments Yet, if one is in a position where they have lost/gained a few pounds or if they are slim or bigger built and someone makes a comment, it can end up having a negative effect on them. This is because they might not have wanted to lose/gain weight, and if they are slim or bigger build, they might already have issues with their weight. Projection It is not uncommon for people who have weight issues to put other people down who are in a similar position. When this happens, it can be a sign that someone has disconnected from their own shame and ended up shaming other people. The person who is being shamed can wonder why they have made such a comment; especially as they are far from perfect. Ultimately, it will be way for them to feel better about their own weight issues. Awareness What this shows is that this is a very delicate area, and one will need to think about whether it is a good idea for them to talk about someone’s weight. It will be important for them to empathise with the other person.
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Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
Although life is made up of moments that are pleasurable and moments that are painful, it doesn’t mean that someone is able to accept each side. There are going to be people who do everything they can to embrace pleasure and avoid pain, and, there are going to be others who renounce pleasure and end up experiencing a life of pain.
When someone chooses the first option, they are going to do everything they can to feel good, and, when it comes to the second option, one is going to do everything they can to feel bad. However, while one option may appear to be better than the other, neither option is going to allow them to be in balance. Out of Balance If one avoids pain and does everything they can to experience pleasure, they are going to stop themselves from experiencing their ‘negative’ emotions. Yet, these emotions are not just going to disappear; they can end up being stuck in one’s body. Alternatively, if one ends up feeling down all the time and stops themselves from experiencing pleasure, they are going to stop themselves from experiencing ‘positive’ emotions. In this case, it could be said that they are stuck in their pain. The Common Approach It is often said that ‘life is too short to be unhappy’ and that one shouldn’t ‘take life too seriously’. And if one is into self-development, they may be have been told to do everything they can to ‘feel good’ or to just ‘let go’ of the past. If one was to allow these sayings to define their outlook, it can cause them to form a negative relationship with pain. And as a result of this outlook, it will be normal for them to believe that they don’t need to face their pain. External Pressure One can then come to believe that they always need to feel good, and that there is no need for them to feel bad. And when one is surrounded by people who have the same outlook, it is going to make it harder for them to face how they feel. Having the need to fit in is part of being human, and, because of how strong this need is, it can cause one to ignore their inner guidance. Pleasing others can then take precedence over one’s need to listen to themselves. Loss When one experiences loss, for instance, they can end up experiencing extreme pain. Ideally, one will embrace how they feel and allow themselves to grieve, and through undertaking this process, they will be able to move through their pain. What this will mean is that while one is embracing their pain, they are not going to end up being stuck in it. And in order for them to move through their pain, it may be important for them to be able to cry. Surrender This is not to say that this is a fixed process, as it will be different for everyone. But the main thing is that one surrenders to this process, and allows themselves to listen to their body. However, if one feels the need to always look strong or to always be happy, it can stop them from being able to cry. The pain can then end up staying within them, and although time will pass, certain consequences may arise. Men and Women While this is a process that applies to both men and women, it is often women who are able to embrace it. On one hand, women are often more in touch with how they feel, and, on the other, there is less pressure on them to hide how they feel. Men, on the other hand, are often out of touch with how they feel, and, there is more pressure on them to look strong. Fortunately, this is something that is gradually beginning to change, and men are starting to see that they don’t need to be ashamed of their emotions. Symptoms When someone is unable to cry after they experience lose, they may find that they are unable to let go, and it may also be a challenge for them to be present. They may end up having anger problems, and this is because the anger will be there to stop them from having to face how they feel. As time passes, one may start to feel down and depressed, and lose interest in the things they used to enjoy. It may also stop them from being able to start a new relationship. Stuck And while it could be said that each of the symptoms above are a normal part of the grieving process; if one doesn’t allow themselves to grieve, these symptoms can become a way of life. Each loss that they experience can then build on the other, and this can make it ever harder for them to be in balance. Feeling Safe If one is unable to cry, it could be a sign that they don’t feel safe doing it, and if they don’t feel comfortable crying, it may also mean that they are out of touch with their emotions. So it is going to be important for them to connect with how they feel, and to realise that it is safe for them to do so. Awareness To achieve this, one may need to work with a therapist or some kind of support group, and they may need to make a few relational changes. For if they have been disconnected from how they feel, the people they surround themselves with may be the same, and this can stop them from getting the support that they need to embrace their emotional self.
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Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If someone was to hear the word ‘control’, there is a chance that something negative will come to mind. They may begin to think about someone who is ‘controlling’, or they may think about a situation in their life that is stopping them from being themselves.
However, this might not take place, and it could cause one to think about how they feel when their life is going to plan. In this case, the word has had a positive influence on them, and it is not something that has caused them to have a negative reaction. Neutral One may also start to think about how it can be used in the right way and how it can be used in the wrong way. Based on their outlook, they may say that it can all depend on what it relates to. Clearly, controlling others is not a good thing, but the same can’t be said when it comes to having control over one’s own life. The first example could be described as win-lose, and the second as win-win. Outlook While one’s personal experiences will shape the outlook they have when it comes to control, there is also going to be other sources. What they hear from the people they know and the media will also have an impact on what they believe. If one is into self-development, for instance, this may mean that this is something they have read about. As a result of what they have gone through or what they have heard from others, they may have decided to give up control. Just Let Go What this will show is that they have come to the conclusion that control is a bad thing, and letting go of control is then a good thing. The need to experience control could be seen as something that will cause one to disconnect from the flow of life. Letting go of this need is then a more ‘evolved’ approach, and they may also say that control is something that the ‘ego’ wants to experience. Therefore, in order for one to grow and to develop, it will be important for them to let go and to trust. Trust When one experiences trust, it would be easy to say that they have renounced their need to be in control. Yet, this is not the complete truth, and this is because they will still be able to experience a sense of control. They may not know what is going to happen or receive what they expect to receive, but they will be able to have their needs fulfilled by opening up and letting go. In this case, letting go of their need to experience control will allow them to experience control. Back To Reality Having the need to control everything is going to cause one to experience problems, and this is partly because it is not possible for them to control everything. There are very few things that someone has control over and this is why it will set them up to suffer unnecessarily. However, even though it is impossible to experience complete control, it doesn’t mean that letting go of control is the answer. If one was unable to experience control, they would also end up suffering in one way or another. Healthy Control When one has a healthy sense of control, it will have a positive effect on their wellbeing. This is because they won’t feel like a victim, and as though they have no control over their life. On one side, they will see that they are not in complete control, and on the other, they will realise that they are not powerless either. And through having this outlook, one will have a greater chance of achieving what they want to achieve Inner Control Yet, just because someone is unable to experience outer control, it doesn’t mean they have to feel powerless, and this is because they can make up for it through experiencing inner control. In this case, what is taking place externally is out of their hands, but what is taking place within them is in their hands. If they were unable to experience inner control and they were only able to experience control through what is taking place externally, it will be harder for them to maintain a positive outlook. They will be in a position where they are completely dependent on what is taking place externally. Helplessness Alternatively, when someone feels as though they have no control, they are not going to end up feeling helpless. It will then be normal for them to feel like a victim, and as though they are unable to achieve what they want to achieve. This could then set them up to be depressed, and as they feel they have no control over their life, this is to be expected. It will be challenge for them to enjoy their time on this earth, and they may look towards other people to save them. Learned Behaviour However, even though one feels helpless and as though they have no control, it doesn’t mean that this outlook reflects reality. As a result of the experiences they have had, and how they have interpreted these experiences, one would have gradually learnt to be helpless. This outlook may have been formed during their younger’s years, and while they were helpless then, this is no longer the case. Or it may relate to a situation that has occurred over and over again, and one then came to the conclusion that there is nothing they can do to change it. Change So in order for someone to realise that they are not helpless, they will need to change their outlook. And although experiencing life in this way is having a negative effect on their life, there may be a secondary gain. On one level, their outlook is sabotaging their life, but on another level, there may be a fear around moving forward. This is likely to be something that one is unaware off; however, it is still defining their life. Awareness One may need to seek external assistance, and this can come about through working with a therapist or some kind of coach. And as they start to change their outlook and to deal with the reasons why they have stopped themselves from moving forward, their life will start to change.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
While someone can do things because they want to do them, they can also do things because they want approval. When this happens, one is going to be focused on what other people think of them.
If this is something that takes place from time to time, it might not have negative effect on their life. Yet, if this is something that takes place on a regular basis, it is going to cause someone to disconnect from themselves. Point Of Focus Their point of focus will be on others, and this can then set them up to overlook their own needs. However, all the time they have such a high need for approval, they are not going to be thinking about what is taking place within them.. During the moments when they get approval, they might be able to feel good about themselves. But no matter how good they feel, it might not be enough for them to experience a sense of fulfilment. Short Term Solution When someone looks for approval from others, it is generally going to mean that they need to receive it all the time. It won’t be enough for them to receive it on the odd occasions, and this is because it won’t last. Once they have received approval from others, they may find that it soon wears off. What this can show is that it is not possible for them to internalise the feedback that they are receiving from others. Playing a Role One reason why it is not possible for them to internalise what they receive can be because they are playing a role. What this means is that their ‘true self’ is being covered up and their ‘false self’ has taken over. Therefore, although one is receiving approval, it is not going to be for the person they are; it will be for the role they are playing. If one was able to let go off their need to play a role and was able to embrace their true self, their need for approval would diminish. Self-approval When this happens, one will be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy. And while their need for approval won’t disappear, it won’t end up controlling their life. What this will show is that they are an interdependent human being and not a dependent human being. They will be able to approve of themselves as well as receive approval from others, and the approval they provide themselves will be what matters to them. True Self There will be some people who always been in touch with their true self and then there will be others who have developed this connection as an adult. To get in touch with one’s true self as an adult may have taken hard work and commitment. This could have been a time where they had to face the emotional pain that was within them, and this wouldn’t have been easy. Yet, through grieving their unmet childhood needs and through being affirmed for who they are, they would have gradually been able to let go of their false self. Doing the Same Thing However, even though some people will let go of their false self (and their compulsive need for approval at the same time), there will be others who will continue to act in the same ways. In the past, one would have been able to receive approval through what they did around others. But this has all changed, and one no longer needs to be around others in order to receive approval. In today’s world, the only thing someone needs to do in order to receive approval from others is to use social media. Signs of Approval As a result of this, there is no need for them to go into the ‘real world’; they simply need a device that supports social media. one can the share a picture, status, or a video, and see how many ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’ they get. If what they share receives a certain amount of ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’, they may believe that other people approve of them. The feedback they have received from others has then given them permission to feel good about themselves. Caught Up This can then set one up to be in a position where the responses they receive on social media define how they feel. If their ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ give them the feedback they desire, it is not going to be a problem However, when they don’t get the kind of responses they need to feel good about themselves, it is going to cause them to suffer. One’s wellbeing is then in the hands of others, and they can end up being addicted to receiving positive responses from others. Two Experiences The positive responses from others will allow them to feel good themselves, whereas, when they don’t receive these responses they will feel bad about themselves. Based on this, it is easy to see why someone could end up in a position where they are addicted to receiving approval from people on social media. When someone ends up being addicted to drugs, alcohol, or to working out, it is because of how they feel without these things. If they felt different to begin with, they wouldn’t have the need to be addicted to them. Conclusion What this shows is that while it would be easy to blame social media, it is also important to look into why someone would end up in the position they are in. For example, if someone doesn’t accept themselves to begin with, it is going to be easier for them to be caught up in how other people respond to them on social media. In this sense, it could be said that social media is just another way for someone to avoid how they feel. If someone is unable to accept themselves, it might be important for them to seek external assistance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Relationships: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Attract People Who Are Unavailable?3/6/2015
Even though one can have the need to be in a relationship with someone who is available, it doesn’t mean that this takes place. Instead, they can end up attracting people who unable to be there for them.
If this was something that they could overlook it wouldn’t matter, but as this is not going to be the case, it is going to cause them to suffer. And while this may be something that they experience from time to time, it may be a way of life. A Pattern When it is a way of life, it might not matter where they go or who they end up with; as it’s going to be the same old story. This is not to say that they will realise that the other person is unavailable in the beginning of the relationship. Based on how the other person comes across, one may believe that they have finally met the one. What has happened in their past could then be put to one side and they can look towards the future. Up and Down However, this experience is soon going to over and it won’t be long until they start to think about what has happened in the past. There is then going to be the pain that they experience through what happens with this person, and then there is going to be the additional pain of attracting someone else who is the same as the others. And while they might walk away from this person, they could end up doing the complete opposite. One has then come to see that the other person is unable to meet their needs, but this is not enough to push them away. Holding On The more the other person moves away, the more effort one may put in to bring them closer. If an outsider was to look at what is taking place, they may come to conclude that they had a close relationship at one point in time. Their need to hold onto the other person is then not a reflection of the kind of connection they had, it is a consequence of how they feel. And while their emotional experience may relate to what has happened, it is more likely to be a reflection of the experiences they had many year ago. Loss Holding onto the other person is then a way for them to keep their feelings at bay, and this shows is that they are not thinking about what happened with the other person. What they are focused on is doing everything they can to avoid having to face how they feel. However, unless one is able to see that their emotional experience is also being defined by what has happened in the past, it is going to be harder for them to let go. What they may do is find someone else, and then this same pattern may be played out all over again. Another Option There is also the chance that they will meet people who are available and instead of being drawn to these people, they may end up being repelled by them. And while the people they attract may lack boundaries and come on too strong, this might not be the case. If the other person does come on too strong, they will have a legitimate reason for not wanting to be with the other person. Yet, when the other person has boundaries and doesn’t come on too strong, they might end up coming up with a set of reasons why the other person wasn’t a good match. Trapped There is then the pain that they go through when they end up with people who are unavailable, and then there is the pain they go through when they are available. The feeling of being abandoned will arise when they attract people who are unavailable and the feeling of being trapped will arise when someone is available. Getting close to another person is not going to be something that they can do while maintaining their sense of self; it is going to be something that causes them to lose themselves. What this means is that they only feel safe when they keep other people at a certain distance. Conflict So because of what is taking place within them, it is not possible for them to experience intimacy. In order for them to experience life differently, it will be important for them to change how they feel. They may have come to believe that there is nothing they can do about how they feel, and the reason they have this outlook could be because they have felt the same way for so long. While one may wonder why they feel this way, this might soon change if they were to take the time to think about what happened during their childhood years. Childhood During these years, there is a strong chance that their caregivers were out of touch with their needs, and this would have caused them to be smothered and abandoned. Their boundaries would have been violated and this would have set them up to have boundary problems as an adult. To be abandoned during these early years would have felt like the end of the world, and this is because one wouldn’t have had the ability to regulate their emotions. And to be smothered during his time would have caused one to feel as though they were being annihilated, and this is because they had no way of protecting themselves. The Years Pass And because the pain is still within them, it won’t matter how many years pass. Their adult life is going to be defined by what happened during these early years, and this is why it will be important for them to face their pain. Awareness In order for someone to develop boundaries and to let go of the feeling of being smothered and abandoned, it will be important for them to heal the trauma that is within them and for them to grieve their unmet childhood needs. This is something that can take place through the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group. The positive regard that they receive through this support will allow them to develop a strong sense of self. And through being around people who accept them as they are, one will begin to realise their own value. These early experiences may have set one up to develop a shame based identity, and this can cause them to believe that they are unlovable. It will be important for them to release the toxic shame that is trapped within them, and this can take place through facing the charge until it begins to discharge and through sharing their story with the right people.
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Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If someone was to start something new, they might try to find out everything they can about it. In this case, they are not just going to start something and learn as they go along; they are going to do some serious research.
Through taking this approach, they are going to be prepared, and this is going to lower their chances of being caught of guard. This is not to say that they will know everything, but they will have an idea of what they are getting into. Preparation For example, if one was going to travel somewhere they had never been before and they needed to get there at a certain time, they wouldn’t just get in their car and go. What they would do is plan their route, and through doing this, it would enable them to arrive at their destination on time. Alternatively, one could just assume how long it would take them to get somewhere, and then go from there. While there is always the chance that they would get there on time, they might end up being late. Consequences Not only that, one might end up going to the wrong place, and this may mean they don’t even get to where they need to go. Though taking this haphazard approach, it could cause them to miss out on an opportunity And although they might be able to go another time, it might not be possible for them to have a second chance. Their lack of judgment may have then set them up to suffer unnecessarily. Control One then had the chance to decide whether they would get there on time or not, and instead of embracing this control, they gave it away. This is not to say that one had complete control; as there would have been external factors that may have stopped them from getting there on time. However, if one took the time to plan their journey as opposed to leaving it to chance, there is a strong chance that they would have arrived on time. This could even be seen as sign that one is sabotaging their own life. The Right Approach This could be an outlook that is supported by the people around them; that’s if they decide to open up about what happened. They might say that they shouldn’t have been so naive, and that it would have been better if they planned their journey. One may find that the people who have this approach when it comes to arriving somewhere on time also have it when it comes to other areas of their life. In fact, they might say that one should do their research before they do anything. One Option When this happens, one is not going to leave anything to chance, and this may allow them to achieve what they need you achieve. However, no matter how much effort one makes to understand something, it doesn’t mean they always experience their desired outcome. There are going to be things that one can do to prepare themselves, but there are always going to be things that are out of their control and things that they don’t need to know about. Therefore, while there will be times when one will need to do some research before they take their next step, it is not always going to be necessary. The Right Tool If one needed to remove a tyre from a car, they wouldn’t go and find a hammer. What they would do is to go and find the right tool for the job, and if they didn’t have what they needed, they would wait until they had the right tool. In order for them to see what tool they need, it is going to be important for them to have an open mind. Without having an open mind, one could end up using the wrong tool for the job. Open Mind For example, if one was to do something for the first time and stopped themselves from finding out too about what they were going to do, it might lead to a better outcome. This is because although ignorance is often seen as a bad thing, this is not always the case. When someone doesn’t take the time to learn about something, it can stop their mind from being filled with limits and fears. If they were to find out more about what they were going to do, it could end up having a negative effect on their life. Naive This then allows them to take action, and to do things they wouldn’t have done if they had taken another approach. And while there is always the chance that they will ‘fall flat on their face’, they might go onto achieve far more than they would have done through having a better understanding. What this will do is stop someone from focusing on what can’t be done and they might not know what can be done ether. This can then stop them from projecting their own limits and fears and the limits and fears of others onto the situation, and this can give them the freedom they need to be successful. Intuition During the moments when one just takes action and doesn’t take their time to learn about what they are going to do, it could be because they are being guided by their intuition. What this will mean that they are not just taking action and hoping that everything will be fine, they are using another form of information. However, unlike the information they would learn through others that might limit them, this information is not going to hold them back. And then during each step that one takes, they will be able to learn what they need to learn. Awareness What this shows is that there will be times in one’s life when it will be important for them to do their research and times when it won’t be. One of the most important things for one to do is to listen to themselves. Their mind may encourage them to find out more and to listen to what others have to say, but their intuition may tell them to just go for it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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