When I was out the other day I saw a paper bag that said something like, ‘the world needs more love.’ This is something that is hard to deny, considering how much suffering and destruction there is.
One only needs to watch the news or to pick up a paper to hear about something negative that is taking place. What plays a part in this, of course, is that is that these sources have the tendency to focus on the bad things that are taking place and to overlook the good things. More to It Nonetheless, although it would be easy to say that this is only something that these sources do, it is something that is part of human nature. It is normal for the mind to focus on what is going wrong and to ignore what is going right. In a way, it is as if the mind is designed to look for problems. Yet, even if it is designed this way, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be trained to be less one sided and thereby, more balanced. Back to the Main Point So if the world needs more love, it can seem as though the best approach would be for someone to do what they can to give more love to the world. A big part of this is going to be for them to what they can do make sure they don’t do anything that is motivated by hate. When it comes to giving more love to the world, there can be the small things and the big things that they can do. If one believed that it is was purely about big gestures, they could wonder if they had anything to offer. One Step at a Time The key will be for them to focus on the small things that they can do to add more love to the world. This could involve holding doors open for people, saying hello and smiling, and saying thank you after someone has assisted them. And if another person talks to them about something, they could take the time to listen to them and to be present. What each of these things can do is to allow another person to feel seen and even heard. Pushing the Boat out Another option would be for them to train to become a nurse or a charity worker, for instance, with this being a way for them to serve their fellow human beings. Giving money to a charity or investing in a business that wants to serve humanity can be another option, that’s if they have the means to do so. There is also going to be the things that they can do for their friends and family. Being present when they are around them and being supportive is going to benefit them, and this can give these people the need to spread the good vibes to others. Multiplied Love Therefore, not only will one be having a positive effect on the people who they cross paths with, their behaviour will have an effect on how these people treat others. Ultimately, it is not possible for one to know what kind of impact their behaviour will have on another person’s life. Still, if they do what they can be kind to another, it is far more likely to have a positive effect on this person’s life than if they were to be unkind to them. This way, one will be able to walk away from an interaction knowing that they did the right thing, even if they are unsure as to what kind of impact they had on their life. The Missing Ingredient Having said this, while it is hard to deny that the world needs more love, this doesn’t mean that someone needs to solely focus on giving more love. The reason for this is that unless one loves themselves, it is going to be a challenge to behave in a loving manner. Now, this is not to say that they won’t be able to play the role of being a loving person; what it means is that this will be nothing more than an act. Behaving in this way will be something that takes a lot of effort as opposed to something that happens naturally. The Other Way If, on the other hand, one did what they needed to do to connect to their own heart and to feel comfortable in their own skin, there would be no reason for them to behave in a hateful manner or to cause harm to others. They would be connected to the love that is within them and this would allow them to behave in a loving manner. Behaving in this way won’t take much effort, either, as it will be no different to how they treat themselves. Also, if they didn’t feel comfortable in their own skin, they could treat themselves like dirt even though they treat other people well. An Essential Part It is relatively easy for one to create a false-self that allows them to come across as a loving person; whereas doing the inner work to that will enable one to experience self-love and thus, to behave in this way naturally, can take a fair amount of time and effort. And if someone doesn’t love themselves and doesn’t play a role, it can be normal for them to behave in a hateful manner. Due to how much pain they are in, they will need to harm others in order to feel better about themselves. The toxicity that is within them is then going to be spread wherever they go, and this will cause them to do a lot of damage. Final Thoughts If someone wants to contribute more love to the world, becoming more loving to themselves will be a great way to do it. As the love within them builds, they will have more of it to give to the people that they come into contact with. For this to take place, one may need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer. Someone like this will allow them to work through the layers of pain that are preventing them from being able to feel comfortable in their own skin.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
0 Comments
When it comes to mental and emotional health, what is taking place internally can often be the point of focus. This will include: the thoughts that someone has, what their beliefs are, and their brain chemistry.
So if someone is not operating at their best, and they were to get into self-development, they could end up working on their mind. If, on the other hand, they were to go the more traditional route and paid a visit to their doctor, they might end up taking something to ‘rebalance’ the chemicals in their brain. Cast Aside In both cases, what is going on around them is going to end up being completely overlooked. The question is what if their inner world is not in a good way because to what is taking place around them? Or of it is not this black and white, what if their external world is playing a small part in what is taking place within them? Undoubtedly, if what is going on out there is playing a part, focusing solely on what is going on internally is not going to be the answer. Looking In the Wrong Place Not only this, one can end up believing that there is something wrong with their mind or even their brain. The outcome of this is that they can feel even worse, which is not going to be a surprise if they see themselves as the problem. If they have the proclivity to experience shame, they could end up experiencing even more thanks to what they have come to believe. This can be seen as further evidence that there is something inherently defective about them. A New Viewpoint However, if they were to go away for a few days or even went to a new area for a short while, they may find that their inner world starts to change. What this may illustrate is that where they were before was having a negative effect on their inner world. Now that they have a new environment to compare it with, the effect that it is having on them will be crystal clear. Up until this point, experiencing life in this way would have been the norm and this would have stopped them from being able to connect the dots, so to speak. Two Parts One will be able to see that for as long as they live in the same place, it won’t matter what takes place internally. What this could do is cause them to be comfortable with living somewhere that isn’t a good fit for them. Furthermore, if one has come to believe that there is something wrong with them, seeing that it is actually their environment that is the problem can allow them to let go of this belief. This alone can have a positive effect on their wellbeing. Final Thoughts If someone can see that it is their environment that is harming their mental and emotional health, it might be necessary for them to find somewhere else to live. But if this is not an option at this stage of their life, spending time in other places will definitely serve them.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that it is not possible for someone to always agree with another person or to go along with the ideas that they put forward, for instance. With this in mind, it is going to be essential for them to be able to speak up when they disagree with something and to stand their ground when they don’t want to do something.
Through being this way, they won’t have the tendency to please others and to overlook their own needs. Naturally, this is going to have a positive effect on just about every part of their life. Career When they are at work, there are bound to be moments when another person says something that they don’t agree with, and by making this clear, they will be able to offer their own input. If they are working on a project, for example, sharing their views could help to make it into a reality faster or it could make it even better. Along with this, there will probably be times when they will need to speak to their boss about a pay rise. Or, if they don’t do this, they still need to speak up during a job interview. Personal Life It is going to be no different when it comes to their relationships, with this being another area of their life that requires them to be true to themselves. So when a friend says something that they don’t agree with, they will be able to share their views. This could be a time when it gets tense, but even if it does, it won’t cause them to back down and to acquiesce. One may find that they are generally able to stay calm and to express themselves, without losing it and getting aggressive. Maintaining a Connection What this is also going to do is to help them to stay connected to the people in their life, as they won’t have trouble being honest with them. Ultimately, talking to them directly will stop one from having to keep their distance. One may believe that keeping something to themselves, and just going along to get along, doesn’t solve anything. Most of the people in their life might also have the same outlook as they do. The Opposite Although some people will be able to relate to this experience, there are going to be others that won’t. When someone can’t relate to how the person above experiences life, it can mean that they will typically keep their views to themselves to make sure that they don’t rock to boat, so to speak. This is likely to mean that their true-self will end up being covered up a lot and they will act as though they are an extension of others. Behaving in this way is likely to be frustrating, but it can be something that just happens. Kept In Therefore, regardless of whether they are at work or with a friend, they are generally not going to disagree with what is said. Shortly after this, they could end up wondering why they didn’t speak up. There could also be times when they will justify what has taken place, believing that speaking up would have only caused them problems. One is then going to be used to swallowing their words and not speaking their truth. Another Option If they don’t just go along with something, what they could do is go silent on another person and is not speak to them for a little while. Going silent won’t solve anything, yet what it will do is stop them from having to talk about something that would cause them to feel uncomfortable. Once things have settled down, they could end up reaching out to the other person again. One is then going to need to overlook their own truth to keep another person in their life or they will need to disconnect from them to stay connected to their own truth. A Deeper Look If one was to take a step back and to reflect on why they have so much trouble when it comes to dealing with conflict, they may find that the thought of doing so fills them with fear. Disagreeing with someone or not going along with something that they suggest is going to be seen as a threat to their very survival. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is completely irrational and that they need to change what they believe. By doing this, their thoughts will change as will their emotions. Another Angle Nonetheless, just because what they believe may sound irrational now, there may have been a time when it was totally rational. Maybe, their early years were a time when they were physically abused. If so, this would have been a time when it wasn’t safe for them to assert themselves. Keeping their views to themselves and pleasing their caregivers might not have stopped them from being hit, but it might have stopped them from being hit as much as they would have been otherwise. A Terrible Experience The years will have passed but the trauma that they experienced as a child will have stayed within them. Thus, until this is dealt with, it is going to be to be challenge for them to change their behaviour. This trauma could cause their body to tighten up or to freeze whenever they get into a situation where they need to assert themselves. Their mind will be offline and they will be in survival mode. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
What someone may find is that they have the inclination to keep their challenges to themselves, and perhaps they have been this way for as long as they can remember. They may believe that sharing what is going on for them would make them look weak or incapable, for instance.
Therefore, even though they will be an interdependent human being, they will act as though they are completely independent. Keeping everything to themselves is likely to make their life harder than it needs to be. Hidden So if they do have people in their life, it is going to be hard for them to know if one is going through a challenging time. One will, ultimately, be carrying all of their weight by themselves. Alternatively, one may keep certain things to themselves, believing that something bad would happen if they were to open up about these things. Once again, this will cause them carry a lot of weight. Reaching Out If they were change their approach and started to open up, they would most likely find that their life gets easier. By sharing what they are going through, they may end up feeling a lot lighter. And even if one keeps certain things to themselves, they could still feel as though a weight has been lifted from their shoulders after they have opened up about these things. Getting what they have hidden out into the open can also allow them to gain a different perspective and to feel more integrated. The Truth If they were their own island, there would be no need for them to share what they are going though with others. They would be totally self-sufficient and opening up to others wouldn’t do anything for them. Still, this is not to say that one should just open up to anyone; it will be important for them to find the right people to open up to. These will be people who won’t judge them and who will be able to keep what they tell them to themselves. A Shared Experience What they can also find is that what is troubling them is also troubling another person or it may have troubled them in the past. Opening up will then allow them to realise that they are not the only one who is going through what they are going through. This can take away a lot of the pressure that they are experiencing and it can even take away some of the shame that they may be experiencing. And if they can see that they are not the only one who is going through something, it can be a very liberating for them. Final Thoughts If one typically keeps things to themselves and they don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in their life, for whatever reason, it may be a good idea for them to reach out for the support of a counsellor or a therapist. The skills that they develop in this safe environment can then be transferred into the real world.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It has been said that human beings are inherently vulnerable, but this doesn’t mean that a being from another planet would be able to see this if they came down to earth. This being may come to conclude that although there are some people that are, there are others that aren’t.
This could be an outlook that they developed after they observed people walking around a shopping area or paid close attention to a few relationships. Based on what they have experienced, it could seem as though only some human beings are inherently vulnerable, while others are more or less invulnerable. The First Example During the time that they spent in a shopping area, they may have comes across people who looked sad or even anxious. It will then have been clear that they were not in a good way and needed support. Not only this, these people didn’t have the need to cover up what was going on for them. Ultimately, they were feeling vulnerable and it was possible for others to realise this if they paid attention. A Difference Along with the people who came across in this way, they may have seen others who were emotionless. It was then as though life had no effect on them, with them being above the problems that others have. Furthermore, there may have been people who looked fierce, creating the impression that they were different to other human beings. So although life fazed others, it had no impact on them. The Second Example When it came to the time they spent watching different people interact, they may have had a very similar experience. One person may have expressed their emotions and/or spoken about their challenges, whereas the other may not have expressed any emotions and/or only spoken about how well they were doing. There may have even been moments when one person was upset or anxious and another person told them to get it together. From the onside, it would have been seemed as though one of them was weak and the other was strong. Final Assessment If this being was to leave the planet after this and didn’t look any deeper into human nature, there would be no reason for them to believe that all human beings are inherently vulnerable. But, based on what they have observed throughout their time here, why would they have a different outlook? In order for this being to gain a deeper understanding of what is actually going on, they would need to look beyond what they see - to look into why one person would embrace their true nature and another wouldn’t. Nonetheless, this being might not be interested in looking deeper. Back to Reality Clearly, a human being could come to the conclusion that some people are vulnerable and some people aren’t; it is not only something that a being from another planet would conclude. One way to look at this would be to say that some people feel comfortable being vulnerable, while there are others that don’t. If someone does feel comfortable with being vulnerable, it is likely to have a positive effect on their life. For one thing, they won’t have to need wear a mask and therefore, to hide what is really going on for them. Deeper Connections Thanks to this, they will be able to open up to the people in their life about how they feel or what their challenges are. And what this will do is allow the people in their life to feel close to them. It will be easier for these people to relate to them and to see that one is no different to them in this regard. And through seeing one open up and talk about their own challenges, it could mean that these people will also open up. A Strong Shell If someone doesn’t feel comfortable with being vulnerable, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be aware of this; coming across as strong and as though nothing bothers could be something that just happens. Even so, they are not going to allow themselves to show any emotions that might cause another person to see them as weak or to open up about their challenges. This could then mean that they don’t have very deep connections with others, and the people who they do spend time with could also behave in the same way. If one was to come across someone who was comfortable with being vulnerable, they could see them as being weak. A Closer Look Keeping their guard up at all times is going to be what feels comfortable, and until this is no longer the case, there is going to be no reason for them to change. What this could illustrate is that their early years were a time when it wasn’t safe for them to open up. Shutting down and disconnecting from their own emotions would have been a way for them to survive. If they opened up they may have been physically and/or verbally abused, and they may have been abandoned. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of elements that make up ones experience of reality, and these include what they see, hear and smell. What also play an important part are their feelings and thoughts.
When it comes to what they see, hear and smell, these are going to be things that other people will also be able to relate to. So if one was to talk about what is going on around them to another person, they will be able connect to what they are saying. No Different The other person will most likely be able to see, hear and smell the same things; it won’t be as if one is talking about something that can only be experience with a special headset. If another person was unable relate to their experience, it could show that one of their senses is impaired in some way. For example, one will hear something, yet another person won’t be able to hear the same thing due to being deaf. Or, another person’s eye sight might not be very good, preventing them from seeing something. Very Different However, when it comes to the thoughts and feelings that one has, another person won’t always be able to relate to what is going on within them. What is going on externally could be seen as being objective, while what is taking place within them can be seen as being subjective. Taking this into account, it is to be expected that another person won’t always experience the same things internally as they do. Still, this doesn’t mean that another person will end up telling them that their inner experience is incorrect. Close Friends When one expresses how they feel or shares their thoughts with the people in their life, they could generally be happy to listen to what they have to say. One is then not going to be told that they shouldn’t feel as they do or have their feelings disregarded. Their thoughts will also been given consideration as opposed to being invalidated or dismissed. This doesn’t mean that the people in their life won’t ever question what they come out with, but this is not going to be the same as completely overlooking their inner reality. Another Area If they are in a relationship with someone who behaves in this way, it is undoubtedly going to enhance their life. Through having a partner like this, they are likely to feel seen and heard. This will cause them to feel as though their partner values and respects them, which will mean that they will be more likely to serve their partner. One is also going to want to return the favour and to be for their partner in this way. The Odd Occasion This, of course, doesn’t mean that one won’t ever spend time around people who don’t respond to them in this way. But, through having so many people in their life who don’t behave in this way, it is unlikely to have much of an impact on them. Being treated in this way is going to feel uncomfortable, and how they respond could depend on a number of different factors. If this was to take place where they work, they could speak out and if this doesn’t work, they might even walk away from the job. Another Scenario For someone else, they might find it hard to imagine what their life would be like if the people in their life actually paid attention to what is taking place within them. This could be a common occurrence when they are at work, too. One could find that, in general, whenever they open up about how they feel or what they are thinking, what they share is invalidated or dismissed. Another person is not going to walk over their body, yet they will be walking over their reality. Closed Down As a result of this, they may find that they often keep what is going for them to themselves. One is then going to be hiding their true-self, but it will be a way for them to protect themselves from pain. It might not even occur to them that they don’t need to experience life in this way and that there are people out there that won’t disregard their reality. This can be due to how long they have experienced life in this way for. The Early Foundations There is the chance that their early years were a time when their inner world was largely ignored. Perhaps their caregivers were too consumed by their own needs and were unable to see them as a separate individual. It would have been as if their purpose was to fulfil their caregiver’s needs and to have the same inner experience. The outcome of this is that one would have come to believe that their inner experience didn’t matter and that it wasn’t safe for them to express what was taking place within them. A New Beginning For their life to change, one will need to realise that what is taking place within them does matter and they will need to feel safe enough to express what is taking place within them. When these two components are in place, they will no longer want to spend time around people who disregard their inner world. There will be beliefs that they will need to change and they may even be carrying trauma that needs to be resolved. If they were physically abused during their early years, it would have traumatised their system. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It has been said that the body is a temple, but while this is the case, it could be said that there are plenty of people that don’t view their body in this way. For some people, their body is basically a dustbin.
Now, this can mean that someone will put just about anything into their body - not caring about if it is actually good for them. Furthermore, someone can even eat when they are not hungry. Outer Focus When the former takes place, they could eat a lot of fast food or food that can simply be warmed up. So although they may be discerning when it comes to other areas of their life, this won’t be the case when comes to the food that they consume. When the latter occurs, there is the chance that someone will often eat good food. However, instead of no longer eating if they are full, they could have the tendency to eat until they have used everything up. The Right Thing Their focus is then going to be on what is taking place externally as opposed to what is taking place within them. Clearly, the ideal will be for one to be aware of what is taking place within them, so they know when to stop eating. One outcome of behaving in this way is that their health could suffer. Even so, it doesn’t mean that one will see that there is anything wrong with how they are behaving. A Strong Influence They could believe that it is wrong to waste food as there are so many people who are starving. This is not something that can be denied, of course; but living in this way is not going to do them any favours and it is unlikely to do the people who are starving any favours either. Sure, it might stop them from feeling guilty, yet what it won’t do is serve their body. The way for them to serve their body will be to allow this part of them to decide when they have eaten enough. Reconnecting It could take them a while to get into the habit of doing this, especially if they have a weak connection with their body. Perhaps they are carrying a lot of emotional pain in their body, with this being the reason why they have disconnected from it. Facing and working through this pain wont necessarily be easy, but it will allow them to eat mindfully. Eating in this way will serve their physical body and it is likely to benefit their mental and emotional health. Final Thoughts If one can see that they are carrying a lot of emotional pain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
For a number of years now, some people have used different labels to describe themselves. This is something that can be observed by looking at the profiles that some people have created on different social media sites.
When it comes to the labels that someone might use on social media, it could relate to their gender, sexual orientation, race and even what political party they support. The labels that they use are then going to represent who they are. The Real World However, even if someone like this was in the real world and another person asked them to describe themselves, they could still come out with the same things. They may even say that they are part of a certain community. The person who asked them this could also use the same or similar labels to describe themselves. Then again, this person might wonder who one actually is, behind the labels that they have used. Effortless What is clear is that if someone does use these kinds of labels to describe themselves, it won’t have taken them a lot of effort to form their identity. The main thing that they would have needed to do would have been to look in the mirror and to think about who they are attracted to. So instead of their identiity being something that took months, if not years, to develop; it could have been formed in a matter of minutes. It will be as if one went into a fast food restaurant and ordered an identity as opposed to a meal. A Big Difference Now that they have this identity, it may have filled their inner world with a sense of certainty, allowing them to feel more confident as a result. It could also give them a sense of belonging as there will be other people who also use the same labels as they do. At one point in time, then, they may have felt isolated and cut-off from others, but thanks to their new identity, they will be part of something bigger. They will be able to receive the acceptance that might not have been available before. The Easy Option Still, even though these labels will have settled their mind down and provided them with a sense of self, it doesn’t mean that they are in touch with who they are actually are. If anything, they will have just put on a readymade suite instead of creating their own. Ultimately, there is far more to them than their race, gender or sexual orientation, for instance. Most likely, these were things that were already set in stone before they were even born. Two Parts In order for one to find out who they are actually are, there will be what they need to do externally and what they need to do internally. When it comes to the first part, trying out different things and travelling to different countries can play part in them being able to connect to their true-self. As for the second part, this will relate to them getting in touch with their body and connecting to the information that is there. It could be said that the first part is far easier than the second part. Going Deeper The reason for this is that this is the part of their being where emotional pain will be found. Disconnecting from this part of themselves will have allowed them to avoid pain, but the trouble is that it will also have separated them from their true essence. With this in mind, living on the surface of themselves and relying on different labels can allow them to avoid the pain of having to go deep within themselves. Nonetheless, it is through embracing this part of their being that they will be able to embrace their own individuality. A Key Area If one was born as a ‘blank slate’, there would be nothing for them to find within themselves. But as this is not the case and they were born with certain abilities and traits, among other things, looking within will play an important role in them being able to connect to their true-self. Along with being able to connect to their feelings, this is also somewhere where one will be able to connect to their needs. These needs will inform them of what they need to do in each moment of their life and what they need to do to live a fulfilling life. A Build-Up If one is carrying a lot of emotional pain in their body, it can be due to what they have experienced in their adult life. Along with this, what took place during their early years may have also played a part. If it goes go back to their early years, what took place here may have also prevented them from developing a strong sense of self. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Awareness One may find that it is too painful for them to embrace how they feel in their body, and this means that they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Connecting to their true-self is not going to happen overnight, yet it will happen as long as they are patient and persistent. Being in touch with who they are will most likely allow them to live a life that is far more fulfilling than the life they would lead if they simply identified with different labels.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to place their attention on their own being, they could come to see that there are many different parts. What will be clear is that they have a physical self, and then there is going to be their mental and emotional self.
This could be as far as they will go, or they could say that there is also another part of them that can’t be picked up by the five senses. One may describe this as their etheric body or there could be another description that is more appealing to them. Multifaceted But regardless of if this last part enters their mind or not, it will be clear that they are not just a physical body. When it comes to their mental self, this part of them will allow them to think, to reflect, to plan and to be aware, amongst other things. Their emotional self, on the other hand, will be what allows them to feel connected to themselves and others. This part of them will also provide their life with meaning and depth, and give them insight into whether something is right for them, among other things. Two Sides One of the downsides of being able to feel, that’s if this can be seen as a downside, is that one will also have moments when they don’t feel good. However, through having the ability to feel bad, one will be able to appreciate feeling good. If one could only feel good, they would soon get used to feeling this way and it would probably have very little effect on them. This shows how important each side is when it comes to being able to live a meaningful life. Not the Norm However, although the emotional self is an important part of someone’s being, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that everyone on the planet is in touch with this part of themselves. As a result of this, there are going to be plenty of people who are out of touch with it. Someone like this is then going to look like a whole human being, but they won’t be whole on the inside. What this is likely to mean is that they will spend a lot of time being stuck in their head. Divided In order for them to reconnect to their emotional self, they will need to get back in touch with their body. The reason for this is that this is where the emotional part of their being will be found; thus, they won’t be able to connect to it by staying in their head. Nonetheless, while being disconnected from their body is going to have a negative effect on their life, it doesn’t mean that they will do anything about it. Experiencing life in this way is likely to be what is comfortable. A Small Step If they were to try to connect to their body, they may find that nothing really happens. What they are trying to connect to will be just below their head, yet it will be as if it is a million miles away. If one can’t connect to how they feel, it is likely to illustrate that their mind is stopping them from doing this to protect them. Under the defences that their mind has built up is likely to be a lot of emotional pain, emotional pain that would overwhelm their system. Another Experience Conversely, connecting to this part of them could just be too painful. Staying on the surface of themselves is then going to be a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed with emotional pain. Just like in the scenario above, they will be carrying a lot of emotional pain in their body. Due to this, it is not going to be much of a surprise that they have the tendency to be out of touch with how they feel. An Analogy This part of their being is going to be like a room that is only filled with bad memories; whereas when it comes to someone who is generally connected to their emotional self, it will have good and bad memories. There is then going to be no reason for the former to go into this room, while the latter will have every reason to go into this room. If one has been out of touch with their body or ‘this room’ for as long as they can remember, it could show that what took place during their early years had a big effect on them. Back In Time Maybe their early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected, which would have caused them to experience a lot of pain. At this stage of their life they wouldn’t have been able to handle it. The only way for them to deal with what they were going through would have been to leave their body. Responding in this way would have saved their live, but now that this time in their life is over, experiencing life in this way is likely to be doing more harm than good. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone wanted to find out how well they are doing in life, they could end up looking around them. One is then going to compare themselves with the people they are close to, along with the people who they know.
Alternatively, one could think about the people in their life who are around the same age as them and see how they match up. If one thinks that they are doing as well the people in their life or those that are the same age, they could come to believe that they are doing well. Another Outcome Through coming to this conclusion, they will be able to feel good about themselves and their life. On the other hand, if they think that they are not doing as well as the people that they have compared their life with, they will probably feel bad about themselves and their life. It is then clear to see that when one compares themselves others, they can feel good about themselves or they can come up feeling short. And even if this approach allows them to feel good at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that it will allow them to feel good at another. A Different Way The trouble with this approach is that it creates the impression that one started off at the same point as everyone else and that they are on the same path as them. The truth is that they didn’t start off at the same point and neither are they are on the same path as anyone else. So just because they are the same as age as someone else, it doesn’t mean that they have gone through the same experiences. For example, perhaps one had a traumatic birth and another person didn’t, or maybe the other person was physically abused as a child and they weren’t. Self-Estrangement Furthermore, although society can do what it can go give someone a purpose, it could be said that they already had a purpose when they entered this earth. However, when someone loses touch with why they are here and gets caught up in what other people want them to do, it will be normal for them to compare themselves with others. Thanks to the conditioning that they have received throughout their life, they will have lost touch with the fact that they are unique. Comparing themselves with others is then going to be a consequence of being out of touch with their essence and not honouring their own journey. Invisible Challenges What one will also need to consider is that even if another person appears to be doing better than they are, it doesn’t mean that this person is actually happy. The life that they lead might not be in alignment with who they are actually are. Then again, this person may have gone through hell to get to where they are. The life that they now live won’t have fallen into their lap, it will have taken blood, sweat, and tears. Final Thoughts The key will be for one to realise that they are on their own journey, with this being a journey that is not the same as anyone else’s. If they want something to compare their life with, they can compare where they are with where they started. Looking back on where they have been and comparing it with where they are will give them a way to mark their own progress. If they compare themselves with others, they won’t be able to accurately assess their own life.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
To book your 15-Minute Introductory Consultation, click here.
Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
My Books...
|