When it comes to relationships with other human beings and with life itself; the heart has a unique purpose. At an emotional level; the left side (feminine) of the heart allows one to receive and the right side (masculine) of the heart allows one to give.
And when one of these sides is out of balance, ones relationships with others and even one’s body will reflect this. It is said that in order to give one must be able to receive.
If the left side and the right side are in balance, one will be able to give and receive in equal measure. This means, that one will not feel that they are giving too much; or that they are taking more than they are giving.
This also involves being able to receive love from others and to give love to others. The ability to be emotionally fulfilled and nurtured in ones relationships and to be able to be emotionally available to others, are all a part of this.
One’s ability to be intimate will depend on how open their heart is to giving and receiving from others. If ones heart is closed and one can no longer receive and therefore give to another; it will be near impossible for that person to experience intimacy.
So whether it is in the closing of one’s heart or in the experience of leading a life without intimacy; there will be pain as a result of the imbalance.
There are two sides to the pain that is being experienced here. On one side there is the pain that is being experienced as a result of not being able to receive love and affection from others. And the other type of pain is what is causing one to close their heart in the first place.
However, this original pain may have been repressed and denied for so long, that it is no longer understood or recognised by the conscious mind.
The Past Experiences.
During relationships and when relationships come to an end, there is inevitably going to be moments of pain. Some relationships can create an incredible amount of pain. This could lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, abandonment, hopelessness and depression.
These feelings can be faced and by doing so one will be able to grieve and process what has happened over time. This would be the ideal option, but this is not always possible or the chosen option.
If this is not done, it means that one’s feelings will end up being repressed and removed from ones conscious awareness.
This is something the ego mind will do to protect itself. These defence mechanism will be utilized as a way to avoid pain. And in the short term they are necessary, so that the pain can be dealt with.
What will cause the heart to close is when these defence mechanism are constantly there. And what has happened during and after a relationship is not faced and grieved. The pain has no other option than to build up.
As this pain builds up and the painful feelings are avoided or acted on without conscious awareness; one will begin to numb themselves to their feelings. So not only will the feelings of grief, sadness and rejection no longer be felt; the feelings of joy, happiness and connection will also be lost.
The balance between giving and receiving can also come to an end as a result of this process. Although one might have had boundaries before and have been open to other people, there is now likely to be walls and barriers around their heart.
And not only will this keep other people from getting to close; it will also stop one from being able to be connected and loved by other people.
Here the ego mind will begin to interpret ones reality and the people in this reality, as being the same as before. It will also cause one to attract people who will remind one off their past pain.
This is due to the ego minds way of interpreting what is safe based on what is familiar. This means that even though what may have happened in a relationship may have been dysfunctional and traumatic; to the ego mind it is familiar.
As ones conscious mind begins to forget what has happened and the pain goes into the unconscious mind or the body; there will be conflict. And this conflict will mean that one says they want one thing and yet another thing keeps showing up
Whether this conflict makes any sense, will depend upon how aware one is of what is going on at a deeper level. It could be that this conflict has existed from the very beginning of one’s life and is not only due to relationships later in their life.
One may have had a closed heart from the beginning of their life. With the relationships that one is having as an adult, merely reflecting back what one came to associate as safe during ones formative years.
This may have been the result of continued emotional neglect, in the form of: rejection, abandonment, isolation and aloneness. Or it may have been a result of being emotionally overwhelmed and compromised as a child.
And whether this was the first one or the second one or a combination of the two; this can lead to the closing of one’s heart. And with this comes the rejection of one’s heart and the tendency to live completely in the head.
Giving And Receiving
When the trauma and the pain are processed, one can get in touch with and connect to their heart. To give and to receive is ones natural nature and are ultimately two sides of the same coin. If one feels the need to protect themselves and to close their heart in the process - it is for a reason.
And the reasons have to be made conscious, faced and observed. As this can be done through awareness and with the assistance of a conscious individual; one can then begin to open their heart once more and perhaps for the first time in their life.
For many years there has been an understanding that child abuse is very often passed from one generation to another. And as to how far back some of these cycles of abuse go is anyone’s guess.
It is then not surprising for one to be left confused and astounded, at how something so pernicious, can be passed on so many times without ever coming to an end.
So many questions can be asked and contemplated. Are some human beings robots who don’t think for themselves and who have no control over their own actions? Are some human beings inherently bad?
In order any kind of change to occur, there has to be awareness around what needs to be changed. If there is no awareness, then it becomes more or less impossible for change to take place.
And with abuse being so destructive and dysfunctional; it would seem strange that there is often very little awareness around this whole area.
So what this shows is that either the awareness that the abuser has is not enough or that the abuser is not aware at all.
How Could This Be?
To say that people who abuse others are unaware might sound incomprehensible. And it is hard to believe that someone could cause another to experience such pain and suffering; all the while being completely oblivious to the consequences of their actions.
If one is not aware of their behaviour or what is going on inside their own mind; there is the potential for abuse. And so out of this lack of awareness, one can end up abusing their children.
At a surface level we can see that the reason someone is abusive to their children is because they were abused. And so they are continuing on the same behaviour that was passed onto them by their parents.
Repeating The Pain
And this is where the confusion sets in. Here we have an individual that was abused themselves and this means they also know what it feels like. They have been through pain and suffering and yet, they are doing to another what was done to them.
This alone makes a human being appear to have no control over their actions. And instead of the abusers being conscious and aware human beings; they are being controlled by their childhood experiences.
The Chance To Be Aware
While the above description sounds valid and largely true for people who are abusive, it doesn’t answer why people are not aware enough to put an end to generational abuse.
Although awareness is what can bring abuse to an end; if one was abused as a child, they are unlikely to have been aware while they were being abused. During the moments of their abuse, there would have been the need to repress and to deny what was going on.
The reason the original pain had to be repressed and denied is due to the Childs survival resting on its caregivers. At that age the child has to please the caregivers. If the child were to express how it felt, it could lead to rejection, abandonment, neglect and even punishment.
This whole process will naturally lead to one having to ignore how they feel. And what this will also mean is that one’s ability to be aware of these feelings will begin to diminish at this time.
At this stage ones priority is to survive and the repression and dissociation of one’s true feelings is often the only way of ensuring this.
Years Of Repression
What this does is lay down the early foundations for one to form a pattern or a habit of continually repressing their original pain and suffering
Although it has been pushed down and denied; it still exists in one’s body and mind. Ones inner child will still carry these wounds. And even though one may have grown up and put the ‘past’ behind them; this wounded inner child contains the same pain.
During these moments of abuse, the child may have been told that it was for their own benefit, what they deserved or that it is for them to learn discipline. What this does it cause the child to believe that what is being done is normal and how they deserve to be treated.
So if this happens and unless there is someone around to invalidate these messages; the child will grow up to believe what it is being told. This will lead to further denial and repression of how they truly feel.
What all this repression and denial will do is create blind sports or a lack of awareness of what’s going on internally. So what this means is that intellectually one may have very little recollection of what happened all those years ago. And while this is true for the mind; it certainty is not true for the body.
The body remembers everything that has happened and contains all of the memories of what took place all those years ago. And as long as what happened in the past remains a mystery and the bodies memories are not faced; one will be have very little control over how they express themselves.
The Past Becomes The Present
So in order for the abuse to be carried out, these original feelings have to lay formant and remain out of ones awareness. And as this is the case, they will be continually acted out or acted in. This can then happen through the same or similarly abusive behaviour that was done to them.
If this original pain is expressed with the assistance of another conscious individual and processed, it will enable one to let go and to be free of the past. And the journey of being a conscious human being will begin. One of the biggest challenges of this process is regression. Here one will regress to the wounded inner child and when this happens ones awareness will often vanish.
The wounded child had to deny and repress what happened in order to survive. This means that this repressed fear of the parents can keep one from consciously feeling this original pain.
And unless this pain can be wholly and fully expressed, without fear or guilt getting in the way, one will be enslaved to the past.
If it can’t be expressed consciously, it will be expressed unconsciously. The first option is functional and will lead to gradual healing. And the second option is dysfunctional and will often lead to further abuse.
The word ‘Drama’ is commonly heard and used in today’s world. This could be to describe something on TV or in a film. It can also describe what is going on in one’s life or the life of another person.
And on the dictionary.com website drama is described as: 1. a composition in prose or verse presenting in dialogue or pantomime a story involving conflict or contrast of character, especially one intended to be acted on the stage; a play. 2. The branch of literature having such compositions as its subject; dramatic art or representation. 3. The art dealing with the writing and production of plays. 4. Any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial. 5. The quality of being dramatic.
So when it comes to the word drama, it would be appropriate to say that drama exists in the absence of peace and harmony. And that like most things on this earth, one can also become addicted to drama.
The Two Types Of Drama
In a soap or film for example; the drama is usually more extreme than it is in an individual’s life. However, even if one were to talk about the average person’s life; there is still plenty of drama.
This can range from all types of occurrences and outcomes. And what is certain is that one’s internal experience is unlikely to be one of calm and serenity. The external experience can be as equally chaotic to what is going on the inside, if not more.
And more often than not, it will seem that this drama is just happening and that one has no control over its expression. Because on one side there is the drama in one’s life and on the other there is the attraction to the drama in the lives of others.
Visible And Invisible Drama
What is going on externally is easy to see and what is going on inside another’s mind and body is harder, if not impossible, to see. This is not only the case for the outside observer, but this may also apply to the individual.
This means that ones: thoughts, feelings, emotions and even ones own behaviours may go on unnoticed and out of ones awareness.
What’s The Attraction?
So this creates the question: what attracts people to the external drama? Through becoming engrossed and attached to the drama in other people’s lives, it allows for at least two things to happen.
One of the things this does, is allows one to escape form their own drama. And secondly by comparing ones drama to the external drama it creates a comparison. This comparison then enables one to see that their drama is not too bad and through this contrast one can feel more at ease.
When it comes to the drama is one’s own life, it is as if this drama follows one around. And no matter where ones goes or who ones with; it is always there and like a shadow that can’t be removed.
The Drama Addiction
So whether one is running away from their own drama or caught up in the drama of another person’s life, be in real or through watching it on TV, there is an attachment there.
This attachment usually goes on out of one’s awareness and wouldn’t make any sense to the conscious mind. And this attachment is creating the same habits and the same patterns of behaviour.
The Ego Mind
To be able to understand why something exists in one’s life and why it keeps showing up, the ego mind has to be brought into the equation. And the way the ego mind perceives reality is largely through ones early childhood experiences.
And through these early childhood experiences the ego mind begins to form associations of what is safe and it does this through what is familiar. What this means is, no matter how functional or dysfunctional these experiences were: they will be associated by the ego mind as what is safe.
The wounded Inner Child
Although time may have passed; all these early experiences still exist in the wounded inner child. The old memories remain frozen and trapped in the body and one will take on these again through regression.
This means that one will continue to experience the same feelings and patterns of behaviour that this wounded inner child has associated as safe.
The Drama Experience
When ones experiences this drama in their life and with it the absence of peace and harmony, there will be certain feelings and thoughts patterns. And these feelings, behaviours and external manifestations are likely to mirror ones early childhood experience.
So what happens may be different on the outside, but how one feels and thinks on the inside is so familiar that another way is never even thought about. And as a result of this; the internal experience is not questioned or observed.
These feelings could be: hopelessness, rejection, abandonment, powerless, worthlessness and fear.
The Hidden Benefit
On the surface these clearly have no benefit, but to the ego mind and to the wounded inner child they are familiar and therefore safe. What this also means is that the ego mind has based its whole identity on these associations and so if the ego mind were to let them go, it would seem like the end of its existence.
The ego mind also has all kinds of defence mechanism to avoid looking at its self and facing what it would rather run away from. It does this because it works on pleasure and pain. And what happened all those years ago in ones childhood would have undoubtedly been painful and this means the ego mind will do all it can to avoid these early memories.
So through defence mechanisms such as: dissociation, repression, denial and projection; all that one hasn’t faced will turn up in ones interactions with others and as internal experiences. And this is why the same patterns will appear and why drama often follows some people where ever they go and whoever there with.
This shows how important awareness is. All that has happened in the past is only continuing to appear, because it has not been expressed. Through the ego minds tendency to avoid what happened, one ends up as a slave to their ego mind.
By being the observer of the ego mind and allowing the past feelings, emotions and thoughts to be expressed; one has the chance to see that there another way.
Drama exists as a choice or as a potential; it is not the only choice and is one of many potentials.
There are many descriptions that can be used when it comes to how one goes about getting their needs met. While some are called needy, others are often called needless. However, no matter how one is described: what is clear is that everyone has needs.
To be human means that we have needs. And for the person in the middle of these two extremes; this means behaving in a way that allows for these needs to be met in an empowered and functional way.
The Two Extremes
Although some men can be needy or needless, this is not necessarily always the case. There could moments or situations when they go from one extreme to the other.
And no matter what extreme one goes to; they are two sides of the same coin. With neither one being more empowering than the other option.
This behaviour will have different consequences for a man and another set of consequences for a woman that attracts needy men.
And what will make up these consequences will be a combination of feelings, thoughts and sensations. This will then create a perception; that will lead to external projections and interpretations being formed and behavioural patterns.
The internal experience for the man in unlikely to be one of harmony and oneness; and this is because an inner conflict is taking place. It wouldn’t be a surprise if within there were feelings of: powerlessness, helplessness and worthlessness.
As well as different thought patterns and sensations that will mirror and reflect these feelings above.
Due to these feelings existing within and right from the very beginning; it is only natural that this results in behaviour that is often described as: needy and desperate.
This man can then be overly nice, submissive, and will often say and do what will gain the acceptance and approval of a woman. He doesn’t seem to have any sense of self and is only too happy to take on another identity.
For The women
For a woman that is exposed to this kind of behaviour, is can create feelings of being smothered, overwhelmed and emotions of anger and frustration.
Leaving her to think about where she can find a man that will take care of her needs for once. And as someone who can relate to her as a women and not as some kind of surrogate mother.
Once the external experience happens, the man can then end up feeling angry, hateful and frustrated. And these initial feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness and worthlessness will appear once more.
The needs and wants that the man has are not being fulfilled and as these wants and needs are extremely powerful. So it is understandable as to why so much internal pain can be experienced when this fulfilment doesn’t occur.
This is a cycle that can and will go on forever; unless awareness is allowed to develop. And unless this does happen, the same patterns within and without, will continue to be created and experienced.
As we look at this behaviour and the consequences it creates; it is clear to see that it is not working. And yet the same internal and external processes are still being carried out.
Which seems to make no sense: as why would one continue to do things that didn’t work and only produced the same disempowering and dysfunctional end result?
This comes down to familiarity and this is what the ego mind works on. And as long as it is familiar, it means that is it safe. These two aspects are like two people in a relationship that cannot be separated.
Although this may seem to be an external problem; it is actually coming from the inside. And therefore exists, as a result of their being an association of safety around these patterns.
This is what happens when the trauma that created these patterns becomes dissociated from or repressed and denied. It then becomes unconscious and turns up in ones reality. And these thoughts and feelings then appear to come out of nowhere and for no reason.
It all seems random and to just happen; until one takes a deeper look at the area of childhood development.
During this time, a man has his first interaction with a woman. Here, one is completely dependent on the mother to fulfil and take care of its needs. These needs range from; being mirrored, touched, and loved unconditionally; to receiving acceptance, approval and attention.
And this can only be achieved if the mother has a healthy inner child herself and has the ability to get her needs met; either through her own awareness or through asking other people. If this is not the case, the child will be used to fulfil these needs.
And this will mean that the Childs fundamental nurturing needs will have to be denied and repressed in order to survive the upbringing. This will also lead to trust issues with women in the present day; if as a boy he could not trust his mother to be there, why would he trust them to be there today.
The Pattern Begins
What this will do is form an early association of familiarly and therefore safely, around not having these needs met. As well as the creation of certain feelings, emotions and thoughts; that will have to be repressed and denied to be able to survive the experience.
These can be feelings of: anger, betrayal, rejection, hopelessness, powerlessness and abandonment. And these will not only be triggered through the same patterns being created; they will also help to create the same patterns
So if this happened many years ago and one is now and adult and not a child, why does the past matter?
The reason it matters is because one will regress to the wounded inner child for as long as the child has not been allowed to express how it feels and is heard. And the ego mind will continue to filter one’s life in this way due to this being what is safe and familiar.
To the wounded inner child, all female figures are potential mother figures and mother figures who can give the wounded inner child all it didn’t receive as a child. What this child can’t see is that there can never be another mother and to perceive them in this way will only lead to more pain.
And the majority of the needs this wounded inner child has cannot be fulfilled by other women; they have to be acknowledged and processed.
If they are projected onto women this will only create pressure, dysfunctional attachment and illusions. And these will keep one in a perpetual cycle of being disempowered and unaware.
What happened in the past cannot be changed or removed and it doesn’t need to be. Being the observer of the inner child and the ego mind means that one is not trapped or limited by them
All of the feelings, thoughts and behaviours that continually appear, do so because they are waiting to be heard. They will remain frozen in the mind and body until awareness allows them to be heard. And as they are heard, they will no longer need to speak any more.
This can be achieved with the assistance of a conscious and aware therapist or healer for example.
When the term letting go is mentioned, it would be normal to think about physically letting go of something. Just like how one might open their hands and drop something. However, the letting go that I am about to describe here, has more to do with psychologically letting go.
This is something that involves letting go internally and letting go externally. Internally this can be: thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations and perceptions. And externally this can be: behaviours, relationships and environments.
These two sides are connected; as the inner aspects change the outer will typically follow suit. This process can also occur the other way around. And along with holding on; letting go is often described as part of life. There are also many traditions in the world that say attachment is what creates suffering.
Ideally one would let go of that which no longer serves them. As soon as something became dysfunctional or disempowering, one would let go and allow another possibility to enter their life.
And this would take very little effort or energy. One may not even notice that this process was taking place, because it would be so effortless.
When something has become disempowering or dysfunctional and no longer reflects who one is; letting go would be the logical thing to do. It would not make sense for one to hold onto what is only creating pain, suffering or stress.
And yet, this is what often happens and then one ends up holding onto to what no longer has a purpose. The consequences of this can be devastating: this may lead to weeks, months or years of suffering; and for others this may involve a whole life time of unnecessary suffering.
What this shows is that there is an inner conflict going on. Not only is there a battle with what is going on outside; there is also a battle within. And this is because they don't represent who one truly is.
There might have been a time when they did, but this time has come to an end. And even though this is the case, these internal processes and external experiences are still around.
The Ego Mind
To be able to understand what is going on here, it is important to take a look at how the ego mind functions. And ones reality is constantly being created and filtered based on what the ego mind perceives as what is familiar
and therefore safe.
So what this means is; if something does not register as safe or familiar to the ego mind, it is highly unlikely to be seen or experienced.
And one is not the ego mind and this why it is possible to observe the ego mind. If one was the ego mind it wouldn't be possible to observe it. The ability to observe the mind has to be developed and practiced like any skill; until ones become proficient at it.
When this ability has not been developed one will have no other option than to identify with their ego mind. From here one will be pulled into experiencing both internally and externally what their ego mind has come to associate as safe.
These associations that the ego mind has of what is safe and what is not are typically formed in the early years of one's life. And this is why they are often so difficult to let go. With the memories that were the most traumatic and dysfunctional causing the biggest problems later in life.
During these early moments, ones ego mind will form its whole identity and perception of life. And the ego minds stability and identity is based on these early memories and different variations of these memories.
So for the ego mind to let go of these early associations of what is safe, it would feel like death. And that is why any form of change is threatening to the ego mind. It does not run on what is empowering or functional; all it cares about is if it is familiar.
If what was classed as familiar was both functional and empowering; this wouldn't be a problem.
The Present Moment
In the present moment these memories have very little purpose, other that the reality they have created through ones identification to them. And this is because the ego mind can only be active when one regresses to the past or when these past fears are being projected onto the future.
When one is in the present moment it allows for the true self to appear. And the true self is not something that is limited by space or time - it just is. Letting go and holding on do not apply either.
This shows how important awareness is. Because without awareness, it is not possible for one to realise they are not their ego mind, let alone that they are the observers of it. Observing the mind can sound like another product of the ego mind and can be interpreted to mean escaping from it.
These memories have to be expressed and faced. And this is a process that is a lot easier when one realises they are not their ego mind.
And after many years of repression and fighting the ego mind, there is inevitably going to be a lot of things that one is not aware of and that need to be processed. This will allow the conflict within to dissolve.
With awareness comes freedom; the past cannot be changed and doesn't need to be. And neither does it need to be escaped from.
This is why it is important to work with a conscious individual that can assist in allowing one to develop their observing abilities. Here, one can feel and express all that has become frozen in the body.
And due to the build up over the years, this may be overwhelming at first. What this build up has done, is blocked the true self from being realised and known.
There are many different terms that one can use to describe having value and worth. These can be self esteem, self confidence and self belief for example. And self worth is a phrase that I believe encompasses all of these aspects.
Self worth is something that is inherent and based on what is internal. It is not based on external approval or acceptance. This worth cannot be destroyed and neither can it be elevated to a higher level; it is not based on a duality, it just is.
However, even if one does not feel of value on the inside, it does not mean they will appear this way on the outside. And this is because one can still appear as confident to others, regardless of what is going on inside.
What this means is that one can achieve a sense of worth by living up to and fulfilling another person's ideas and values. Here one will feel a sense of empowerment and acceptance through pleasing other people.
And as this form of worth is based on fulfilling external requirements; it is not rooted in anything substantial. It can also cause one to feel that their worth is dependent on other people.
This can often lead to people going one of two ways and to alternate between the two. Either one can constantly try to live up to other peoples standards or one can rebel and actively seek to displease others.
And like any type of addiction; in order for one to feel the same affect, there needs to be a constant increase of stimulus. This means one has to always be ready to be or do what others want. And to the rebel this can mean being even more apathetic and indifferent to others.
Playing A Role
What is then occurring is the acting out of a role and the denial of one's true expression. Gaining a sense of worth and value through others, then becomes normal and accepted. And once this happens it is no longer questioned
or looked upon with critical eyes.
It has formed part of ones unconscious mind and colours ones perception of life. These roles become part of who one is and the ego mind comes to identity with them.
The Ego Mind
The reason the ego mind comes to identify with them is because they are familiar. And as they are familiar, they are safe. And to the ego mind, it does not matter if the roles that one plays are dysfunctional and disempowering.
If what the ego mind has come to associate as familiar and safe, is no longer accurate it will create conflict. And this conflict will be between what one wants and what one feels safe with at a deeper level.
It would seem strange that one could feel comfortable (safe and familiar) with something that is in direct opposition, to what one truly wants to express and be.
Because in order for one be in tune with their own sense of value and worth; one needs to feel safe to do so. This means that one has the self worth to express who they are and feels supported in doing so.
Due to these roles feeling so familiar and comfortable, it may seem as though they are how life is and that there is no other option. These roles can be overwhelming and affect one on many different levels.
Ones thoughts, emotions, feelings and sensations will be triggered and ones brain will also release all kinds of chemicals as a result. And like a cloud that covers the sky; one's ability to see clearly will be severely challenged.
This ability to feel comfortable playing a role and achieving worth by pleasing other people had to start somewhere. And these patterns of behaviour were formed at some point.
And this is where ones younger years come into focus. Because it is here that one needs the approval and acceptance of other people to survive.
At this age one is dependent on others to survive and so it is clear that one has very little value to offer at this stage. This stage marks a time of needing and wanting from others. The importance of mirroring, attention, unconditional love and validation at this time cannot be emphasised enough.
Here the child looks to the people around to understand who it is and to the value that it has. If the child is validated and mirrored during the expression of its needs and wants, it will come to conclude that these are important.
This is a process that doesn't always happen and this means that the Childs needs and wants end up being dismissed. And this can happen to a certain degree or it can happen completely.
What then happens is the child has to fulfil the needs and wants of the parents. And the child has to do this to survive. Here the child will learn that being accepted and approved of is something that happens when it fulfils its caregiver's needs.
What this is telling the child is that the needs and wants that it has are not important. What are important, are the needs and wants of others. And the only way it will be accepted and approved of is by pleasing the caregivers. The child is not being told, either literally or symbolically, that it is accepted and approved off for who it is.
This creates a relationship that is based on the fulfilment of conditions and obligations. And there is nothing the child can do, because its survival depends on meeting these conditions and obligations. If the child doesn't do as the caregivers say it will have to deal with being and or feeling rejected, abandoned and isolated.
The Role Begins
What these moments do is lay down the foundations for one to see their worth as something that exists as a consequence of obligations and conditions being fulfilled. And this is only natural, after having experienced this from the very beginning.
Even before one has entered the 'real world' one has already been brought up to associate their value as being something that one achieves by gaining the approval and the acceptance of another person.
Same Old Story
However, as one is now an adult and what happened all those years ago happened as a child, why does one still perceive life in the same way?
This is due to regression and when one regress one becomes the wounded inner child. And at this moment one takes on the same inner processes and perceives reality in the same way.
And this wounded inner child is external in nature; it is constantly looking outside to be emotionally regulated. It doesn't have the same ability as an adult does for self regulation.
As one is the observer or the silent watcher of the wounded inner child, the ego mind and to experiences; it means that one is not enslaved to what happened.
The memories of these past traumatic events became frozen in the body and they will influence ones adult life. And this can only happen for as long as one is unaware of these memories. Through this process of letting go, one will be able to realise their inherent worth.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.