Child Abuse: Do Some People Go From Being Abused By Their Parents To Abusing Their Parents?31/7/2017
It could be said that not everyone is brought up by parents who treat them in the right way, and this can have a big effect on how they will experience life as an adult. For some people, this would have been a time when they were abused on a regular basis, for others, this would have taken place from time to time.
A Competition This is not to say that if someone was only abused from time to time their adult life is going to be easier than it would be for someone who experienced abuse on a regular basis. This comes down to the fact that there is what happens and then there is how someone responds to what happens. So if someone hasn’t been through as much as someone else but they are worse off than they are, it doesn’t mean that they are therefore weak. After all, this is not a time when one needs to compare themselves with what other people have gone though; it is all about their own experience. One Factor One thing that is going to play a part in how someone responds to being abused is how sensitive they are. If they are sensitive, it is going to be a lot harder for them to handle stress. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they can’t move on from what happened if they receive the right support. And even though they are sensitive, they could also have another part of them that is extremely resilient. Something Deeper Along with this, one could have the need to heal what has taken place; whereas someone else might not have this, and this could mean that what took place will end up defining their life. What will also play a part here is how aware someone is; as they might not even have the desire to face what happened. One way of looking at this would be to say that what happened during their early years will be what defines whether they are aware or not as an adult. Another way of looking at it would be to say that some people are born aware and some people are not. Responsibility Still, when one faces up to what happened it will give them the opportunity to gradually move on. There will then be no reason for them to go from being a victim to a perpetrator. As even though one wasn’t responsible for what happened, they are responsible for how they treat other people. And if they don’t face up to what happened and work though it, it can cause them to mistreat other people. Courage In the short-term, this can cause them to experience even more pain, and one could come to believe that it is not worth the effort. However, while this will this is not going to be easy in the beginning, it will get easier as time goes by. On the other hand, if one was to carry on as they are, it is highly unlikely that their life would get any better. In fact, it would probably get a lot worse as time goes by, and this is why it is so important for them to reach out for the right support. Caught Up If this doesn’t take place, one could end going down another path, and this could mean that they will end causing a lot of harm. What could take place is that they will have children, and the same thing will happen all over again. One will then have gone from being the victim to being the perpetrator, and this will show that they lack self-awareness. The abuse won’t have started with them and it won’t end with them either. Another Outcome Alternatively, one could end up causing harm to the people who abused them when they were younger. When they were younger their parent/s would have abused them and now that they are older, they will be the ones who are abusing their parent/s. What this can show is that they are filled with a lot of anger and rage, and this stops them from being able to think clearly. One is then going to be consumed by their need to harm the people who harmed them. A Number of Ways This could take place though one verbally abusing one or both of their parents, or they could even harm them physically. It is then going to be clear that one doesn’t care about the effect this is having on them. So even their parents would have been seen as all power figures many years ago, they could now be old and frail. It is then not going to be possible for these people to fight back, and it could have a negative effect on their health. Justified Due to what they experienced when they were younger, they could believe that they are not doing anything wrong. If anything, they are getting their own back for all the years of abuse. The trouble is that on some level, their parents probably felt the same way, and so they are no different to the people who abused them. Ultimately, they are being controlled by their emotions. A Closed Heart The experiences they had whilst growing up will have caused them to close their heart, and this is then why they are able to behave in such a destructive manner. They won’t be able to empathise with their parent/s or to display compassion. One is not going to be able to rise above what has taken place; they will be caught up in it. Physically they will look like a human being, but they are going to be acting more like a robot. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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If one is in a position where they want to start a new relationship, they could have a clear idea about what they are looking for. In fact, they could say that they want someone who is perfect.
Short-Lived One might believe that it is only a matter of time before they will meet someone who fits their criteria. However, even if they do have this outlook in the beginning, it is unlikely to last for very long. What this comes down to is the fact that it is not going to be possible for them to meet someone who is perfect. And the only reason why they would believe that another person is perfect during the early stages of a relationship is because of what is taking place within them. Out of Touch During this time, one is going to have an idealised view of the other person, and this is going to stop them from being able to have a balanced perspective. The view they have of them is going to be partly influenced by what they haven’t developed within themselves. For example, if one doesn’t love themselves, they can end up seeing another person as someone who will love them unconditionally. They are then going to be there for them no matter what. No Different And even though this person can come across in this way, this is likely to show that they are also looking for someone to love them unconditionally. The difference is that this person will come across as though they have it all together. Through being there for someone else, they will believe that this will allow them to have their needs met indirectly. On the other hand, one is open about what it is that they want, and this is what causes them to attract someone who isn’t. The Icing Melts Away But as time passes, and the other person begins to change their behaviour, it will be only too clear that they are not perfect. One might then see that they still have a connection and a number of things in common, or they may see that there is nothing there. When it relates to the former, there is going to be the opportunity for the relationship to continue and for them to work through the challenges that arise. Even so, one could believe that there is someone out there who is perfect, and it might cause them to end the relationship. Going Round in Circles Perhaps this is the first time that they have been in a relationship, and so they are unaware of the fact that no one is perfect. Yet if this isn’t the case, it could show that they are unable to face reality. Part of them is going to believe that there is someone out there who is perfect and this is going to stop them from being able to pay attention to what keeps taking place. It could then be said that the sooner one is able to face reality, the sooner their life will change for the better. A New Beginning If this was to occur, one might begin to see that there are things someone can provide and things that they can’t. Now, this is not to say that they should just go with anyone, as this is going to be no better. Another part of this process can be for one to look into the effect that their childhood has had on them. What they may see is that they are looking for another adult to give them what they didn’t get when they were younger. Unrealistic Expectations Therefore, even though they will look like an adult, this area of their life is going to be viewed from the eyes of a child. It is then not going to matter that they are now an adult, as the wounded child within them is going to have a lot of control. This can be a time when one will need to grieve their unmet childhood needs, and this will have an effect on what they expect from someone. One will have a greater understanding of the needs that another person can fulfil and the needs that they can’t fulfil. Another Part In addition to this, one might see that tolerance is also important in a relationship, and this comes down to the fact that the other person has their own reality. They are going to have their own feelings, needs and points of view, amongst other things. Being able to put themselves in the other persons shoes, so to speak, and to accept that they are not always going to agree on everything will be vital. This shows how important it is to have boundaries, as this will allow one to realise that other people are not an extension of them. A Different Experience Nevertheless, while one can expect too much, they can also be in a position where they don’t expect enough. Accordingly, one can have the tendency to end up with people who treat them badly. Instead of paying attention to what is taking place within them and tuning into what is taking place for the other person, they could completely overlook their own needs, feelings and points of view. Their priority will be to please the person they are with, and this is naturally going to have a negative effect on their life. Not the Problem One is then not going to be someone who needs to become more tolerant; they are going to be someone who needs to tone this part of them down. Behaving in this way is causing them to be abused by others. And as they are tolerating this kind of behaviour, there is going to be no reason for another person to change. Ultimately, one is going to be fuelling their behaviour and, until they are able to draw the line, they will continue to suffer unnecessarily. Awareness What this shows is that there is a time to be tolerant and a time to be intolerant. But if one can only embrace one side of the spectrum, it is going to cause them problems, and it won’t matter if they are tolerant or intolerant. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
On the one hand, there are people who are rarely, if ever, offended, and on the other, there are people who are offended by just about everything. This is something that is going to have a big effect on how they experience life.
One Side When one can relate to the former, it is going to be a lot easier for them to behave how they want to behave and to stay focused. One can then move forward in life as opposed to getting caught up in what is taking place around them. What this is likely to show is that they generally feel at ease, and this is why they don’t react to what is going on in their environment. Through being this way, it will make it easier for them to handle their emotions. Working Together So, instead of being controlled by how they feel, they can take a step back. Therefore, if they were to experience a strong emotional reaction, they would be able to think about why this is. Said another way, one is going to be behaving like a couscous human being. There will the effect this has on their own life and there will be the effect this has on the people around them. Two Parts If one was offended by just about everything, it would make it incredibly difficult for them to stay on track. One would be like a small boat on the ocean; they would be tossed around by the smallest wave. Not only this, but one would probably feel the need to control what other people can and can’t say. One would have no inner control, or very little, and it would then be normal for them to have the need to control others. Two Benefits As a result of this, it could then be said that it is going to be a lot easier for one to live a fulfilling life. Their attention can be divided between what is taking place internally and what is taking place externally. One will be able to express their true-self, and they will be happy for other people to do the same. Whereas if one wasn’t this way, they would spend a lot of time focusing on what is taking place externally. Two Experiences However, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that everyone who has the tendency to be offended will act in the same way. For example, if one was to see that it was a challenge for them to experience inner peace; they could look into why this is. Thus, instead of focusing on what is taking place around them, they could look into what is taking place within them. What this shows is that one is not going to blame other people for how they feel. Point of Focus One way of looking at this would be to say that one has a good connection with their inner world. Looking into what they feel a certain way can be something that comes naturally to them. This can then be a time when they will take a closer look into why they are experiencing life in this way. Before long, they may realise that it is a challenge for them to experience emotional control. More than Words Consequently, when they hear something that causes them to be offended, it can be as if they are being physically harmed. They will experience a strong emotional reaction, and this is going to stop them from being able to think clearly. Their reaction is then not the result of what someone has said; it is the result of how they have responded to what has been said. If anything, it will have triggered something, and this is why they have lost their mental and emotional stability. Reaching Out One can look into what they can do to experience life differently, and this may mean that they need to work with a therapist or a healer, for instance. What they could find is that they are carrying trauma, and this is then why they are so sensitive. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected during their younger years, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way. This may have stopped them from developing the ability to regulate their own emotions. Another Experience Yet, when one doesn’t take this approach and they continue to blame others for how they feel, it can show that they lack self-awareness. As far as one is cornered, they could be nothing more than an observer of what is taking place. It is then not that they need to look into why they have the tendency to be offended; it is that the people who are ‘offensive’ need to change their behaviour. Now, there are going to be times when someone does need to change their behaviour, but it is not always going to be this way. Dissociated What this can show is one doesn’t have a strong connection with what is taking place within them. And through being out of touch with their inner world, it sets them up to blame other people for how they feel. One is not going to be able to see that there is what someone says and then there is how they interpret what has been said. This shows how much power they have when it comes to how they respond to what people say. Awareness If one was to develop the ability to observe what is taking place within them, it would give them the chance to see why they are reacting in this way. It might also start to become clear how emotionally sensitive they are. And as they are this sensitive, it is not going to be a surprise for them to experience life in this way. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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If one was to hear about someone who is being treated unfairly, they could end up feeling angry about what is taking place. This could relate to someone who, because of their gender, was turned down from a job.
Alternatively, this person may have read the job description and found out that they were the wrong race. It then wouldn’t have been possible for them to apply, let alone be tuned down for the role. Not the First Time And while this could be the first time they have heard about something like this, it could be something they hear about all the time. There is the chance that their friends and family have had these kinds of experiences. In addition to this, one may have come across articles online where people have spoken about this. One could also look back on their own life, and remember times when they were not treated fairly. One Approach Consequently, one might look into what they can do to change the world, and there are going to be a number of things that they can do. One of the easiest things would be for them to start their own blog, or to create videos. Through doing this, one will be able to share their views with other people, and this can be done without coming across as some kind of tyrant. One could talk about the effect that this has not only on people, but on society as a whole. It’s all about the Delivery On the other hand, if one was to talk down to people or to blame a certain group of people, for instance, it would be lot harder for them to get their point across. Instead of having a positive effect on the world, one would be creating even more problems. For example, if one was to say that one race is to blame for what is taking place, it is highly likely that this will anger a lot of people. Not only that, one would be trying to remove the division that exists by creating even more division. Self-Reflection It might then be a good idea for them to take a step back and to look into what it is that they are trying to achieve. They might need to ask themselves if they want to make the world better, or if they simply want to change how they feel. What this shows is how important it is for one to be aware of how they feel, and to have the ability to reflect on what is taking place within them. As even though they can believe that they are coming from the right place, this might not be the case. Two Sides When someone gets turned down from a job or if they are unable to apply due to what they look like, there are a number of things that can take place. This could cause them to feel incredibly angry, and the might end up internalising how they feel. It will then be normal for them to feel depressed, and they might sink deeper and deeper into themselves. Or, they could get angry about what has happened and then before long, they could look for another job. One Direction This will show that they are not willing to throw the towel in, so to speak, and this is likely to benefit them in the long-run. One could believe that life is too short for them to get caught up with things that are out of their control. So, by focusing on what they can control, it will allow them to keep going until they achieve their desired outcome. What they could also think about is that there are other areas of their life when something similar has taken place. Relationships Perhaps there have been moments in their life when they were attracted to someone, but they were told that they were too old for them. There may also have been moments when they found out that they were the wrong race. If they were a different race, they may have been able to take the next step with this person. And while this might annoy them, they might see that there have also been times when they have behaved in a similar manner. It Doesn’t Stop There When it comes to the people who they let into their life, they may have a number of different requirements. Therefore, they are not just going to be friends with anyone, and this is going to stop them from treating everyone in the same way. Along with this, they could have a very strict diet, and this is going to mean that they won’t just put anything into their mouth. This could be a sign that they are trying to lose weight or they may be a vegan, for instance. Self-Hate If they allowed anyone into their life and put anything into their mouth, they would suffer unnecessarily. It might then be a good idea for them to look into if they actually value themselves. As based on how they are behaving, there is as strong chance that they feel worthless at a deeper level. When someone values themselves, they won’t put up with people who are dysfunctional and neither will they throw anything into their mouth. Conclusion What this shows is that discrimination is not bad per se; it all depends on what it relates to. If one didn’t have this ability, they would be like a defenceless child, and they probably wouldn’t last very long on this planet. At its root, this ability is there to keep them alive; nothing more, nothing less. However, this part of them can end up being taken over by other parts of them, and this will cause them to behave in ways that are destructive.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that while there are people who are in touch with how they feel, there are those who are not. As a result of this, there is going to be a big difference when it comes to how they experience life.
A Whole Human Being When one is in touch with how they feel, it is likely to show that they are connected to their mind, heart and body. One is then not going to be stuck in their head, and this is going to make it a lot easier for them to have a fulfilling life. One is going to have the ability to think, to feel and to experiences different sensations in their body. Therefore, no matter what environment they are in, they will be able to respond in the right way. Part of Life If this is how one has more or less always experienced life, there is going to be no reason for them to think about this. Being able to think clearly or to connect to how another person feels, for instance, will be the norm. This is something that is going to benefit them when they are at work and it will have a positive effect on their relationships in general. For one thing, there is no denying how important it is to be able to empathise with another person. Deeper Connections One could find that there are a number of people in their life who they are really close to, and this is going to be a reflection of the kind of connection they have with themselves. As one has an open heart, it will allow them to connect with others who also have an open heart. Through being this way, it is not just going be about what they can receive; it will also be about what they can give. This will stop them from being consumed by their own needs and ignoring the needs of others. The Human Element One way of looking at this would be to say that this part of them is what allows them to behave like a human being. As when someone can put themselves in another person’s shoes and show compassion, they are less likely to cause harm. Whereas when someone is unable to behave in this way, it is going to be a lot easier for them to take advantage of others. Other people can end up being seen as a means to an end. Take and Take If they do extend themselves, it will only be because they want something in return, and once they have what they want, they could end up disappearing. So if they were get in touch with the same person again, it will be for the same reason. One of the reasons why other people will fall for this is that one is likely to find it easy to deceive others. Thus, when they want something, they will be able to turn on the charm, so to speak. Surface Level Interactions If they do have people in their life, it is unlikely that they will have a strong connection with them. These people are likely to be as disconnected from their own emotions as one is from their emotions. Yet even though their relationships are not going to be very fulfilling, this is going to be what generally feels comfortable. Their main priority will be to fulfil their needs, and this could be followed closely by their need to spend time around people who will make them look good. Extremely Shallow But as one lives on the surface of themselves, it could be said that it is not much of a surprise for them to be this way. Through being out of touch with their own emotions, they are not going to have the need to experience deeper connections with others. This is then similar to how there will be no reason for someone to eat something if they are not hungry. There could be moments though, when one does get in touch with how they feel. Running Away During these moments, they could do whatever they can to avoid how they feel; with this being a way for them to experience control. This could be a time when they will find someone to have sex with, or they could be drawn to alcohol or drugs, for instance. Ultimately, one is going to go towards the things that they believe will allow them to avoid how they feel and avoid anything that might cause them to embrace how they feel. If they were to get in touch with how they feel, it could be too much for them to handle. Up To the Surface Also, if they were to get in touch with the pain that is in their heart, it would probably cause them to feel powerless. And what could cause them to get in touch with how they feel is if they were to start a relationship and this was to end shortly after. This could be a time when they will experience loss, rejection, grief, rage and deep sense of being helpless. One is then going to be only too aware of why their heart has been closed for so long. A Deeper Look What this could show is that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. This pain would have stayed in their body and, through disconnecting from how they feel, it would have been a way for them to protect themselves. The past is then defining their present, and it will stay this way until they do something about the pain that is within them. This would have been a time when one did what they could to survive. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In recent years, a lot has been said about children who have gender identity issues. It doesn’t end there though, as a lot of exposure has been given to adults who are also going through the same experience.
Confusion If one has heard a lot about this, they could wonder what is going on, and this could show that they have been on this planet for a little while. Still, that could be as far as it will go and they could just carry on with their life. When this doesn’t take place, and one takes a deeper look, it could how that they are a curious person. It is then not going to a surprise for them to take a deeper look into what is taking place. Two Experiences One way of looking at this would be to say that it is one thing for a child to have issues with their identity and another thing for an adult to be this way. The reason for this is that a young child is, of course, at the beginning of their life. An adult, on the other hand, is no longer at this stage, and so they should experience life differently. At the same time, what can’t be overlooked is that even though someone looks like an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like one. Identity This is not to say that this is something that someone can grow out of; what it comes down to is that how someone sees themselves usually changes as they grow older. For example, someone could look back on their life and see how insecure they were then they were younger. But as the years have passed, they could be only to aware of how much they have changed. Therefore, what they struggled with as a child is not something that bothers them as an adult. Reality However, it would be inaccurate to say that this is what happens to everyone, as life is not this black and white. What this comes down to is that not every child receives what they need in order to develop in the right way. And if this doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean that someone will reach out for the support that they need. The years will go by and they might not do anything about how they feel, and this will cause them to suffer unnecessarily. A Closer Look When adult doesn’t feel comfortable with their own gender, it could show that this is due to what took place when they were younger. Yet if one believes that this is the only reason why someone would be this way, and they were to say this out in the open, there is a strong chance that they would receive a lot of negative feedback. They could be labelled as having some kind of phobia, for instance, and this could then have a negative effect on their life. And if one did believe this, it would probably show that they have closed mind. A Lack of Empathy What this could show is that one is not willing to put themselves in the shoes of someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with who they are. Through being this way, there is going to be no reason for them to show compassion towards them. One could then end up criticising people who are experiencing life in this way, and this is going to be the last thing they need. Perhaps one has a clear idea of how a man and woman should behave, or they might have grown up in an era when this kind of thing wasn’t spoken about. An Adult Now, when an adult doesn’t feel comfortable with their gender, it could be said that they are old enough to make their own decisions. Still, if one wanted to have a sex change, it doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t take a step back and look into why they want to do this. As once this happens, there is going to be no going back, and they could make their life even worse by doing this. When it comes to making a big decision, it is going to be vital for one to look into why they want to take this step and to look into why may or may not happen if this step is taken. A Child So, while an adult will have had the time to find out about themselves and, as long as they are over twenty five, their brain will also be fully developed; this is not going to be the case for a child. Consequently, it’s hard to see how it would be a good idea for a caregiver to allow their child to go through this process. In fact, it could be said that it would be completely irresponsible for them to give their child so much control. If they truly cared about their child, they would listen to what they have to say and give them the support they need, but that would be it. Part of Growing Up When someone is at the beginning of their life, there is going to be no reason for them to have a clear idea of who they are. For one thing, this is a time of exploration as opposed to a time when they have everything worked out. Along with this, just because someone is a boy, it doesn’t mean that they will act like a boy, and the same goes for a girl. After all, both genders have both the masculine and the feminine within them. The True-Self What this means is that one can be a man, but they can have a stronger feminine side, or they can be woman and have a stronger masculine side. But regardless of how they behave, it doesn’t mean that they are not a man or woman. Ultimately, it is about one embracing who they are and being comfortable in their own skin. There will be people who are able to accept them and there will be people who can’t, but this part of life. Identification There are a number of things that can take place during someone’s early years that can stop them from being able to feel comfortable with their own gender. At this age, they would have had the need to identify with their same sex parent. If this was possible, it would have allowed them to develop and to feel good about themselves. But when this is not an option, it can cause them to experience inner conflict and it can be a challenge for them to accept themselves. The Reason This could have been a time when their same sex parent wasn’t around, or if they were around, they might have been abusive, for instance. Thus, even if they were around, they wouldn’t have been a good example to follow. Through having these experiences, it may have caused them to hate this parent/caregiver, and thereby to hate themselves. One would then have experienced toxic shame and this will have caused them to feel worthless. The Wrong Gender Alternatively, one may find that their parents/caregivers wanted a boy/girl instead, and this would have set them up to felt unwanted. This would then have been something that they pushed out of their awareness. The acceptance that they desperately needed wouldn’t have been there, and this would have caused them to experience a lot of pain. Awareness It would be an oversight though, to overlook the effect that society has on whether a man or a woman feels comfortable with themselves. How men and women are portrayed in the media and the entertainment industry is bound to play a part. If someone is having trouble accepting their own gender or if a parent has a child like this, it might be a good idea for them to speak to a therapist before they go any further.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was in a position where they spend a lot of time feeling drained, they might end up looking into what they eat. Along with this, they could take the time to see if they are getting enough sleep.
The Logical Approach One way of looking at this would be to say that this is the kind of thing that most people would do. After all, what one eats and the amount of sleep they get plays a big part in how much energy they have. What one could then find is that they don’t eat the right food, or that they don’t eat enough. In addition to this, they could see that they don’t get enough sleep, or that they have days when they stay up too late. Another Challenge Alternatively, the main thing that is bothering them at this point in their life could be the amount of anxiety they experience. It is then going to be a challenge for them to settle into their body and to feel at ease. What one could find is that they spend a lot of time in their head, and this is going to cause them to disconnect from how they feel. Consequently, one is unlikely to feel like a whole human being. Two Parts When they are experiencing life in this way, it could be as if their head is not connected to their body. There is going to be where they are positioned and then there will be another part of them that is down below. It can seem as though they are floating in the air, and it is then not going to be possible for them to feel as though they are connected to the earth. They will feel ungrounded and out of touch with reality. The Next Step If they were to reach out for external support, they could be told that they need to change what is taking place in their mind. It will then be clear that their thoughts are the problem, and once this changes, they will begin to settle down. One will then need to observe what is taking place in their mind and to change the thoughts that are causing them to experience life in this way. Another part of this can be for them to change their behaviour. True-Self And when one does disconnect from their body, it can cause them to lose touch with their true needs and feelings. They can then end up feeling confused and unaware of what they want or need. This could then set them up to agree to do things that they don’t really want to do and to behave in ways that go against their true nature. Pleasing others is then going to be the norm and this is going to cause them to suffer even more. A Shell One is then not going to come across as someone who is confident and they might not feel good about themselves either. Other people could see them as someone who doesn’t stand their ground. So though experiencing life in this way, there is a strong chance that they will end up coming into contact with people who are not right for them. It is then going to be vital for them to find a way change their life. Different Branches If one had all of these problems, it doesn’t mean that they would take the time to see if they are all connected. The reasons for this is that if they were to speak to their doctor, for instance, they might be told that there are a number of factors involved. And, there is the chance that this is the case; it will then be necessary for them to face each problem head on. Through getting more sleep, eating better, changing what takes place in their mind, there life may start to change. Another Angle However, what one may find is that all of these problems are connected; there will be different branches, but they will all be connected to the same tree. This could be something they realise after they have had massage or been in water. It will then be clear that their body is very sensitive, and this is then why they are experiencing all these problems. As a result of this, it is not going to be enough for them to just eat better, get more sleep, or to change what is taking place in their mind. Highly Sensitive Body In order for them to settle into their body and to feel like a whole human being, they will need to settle their body down. As their body is extremely sensitive, it won’t take a lot for them to feel overwhelmed. Their nervous system is not going to be able to handle a lot of stimulation, and this is why their environment has such a big effect on them. But now that they know what is going on, they can do something about it. Awareness When their nerves are settled, they might feel as though they can do anything, but when this is not the case, it could be a challenge just for them to get out of bed. What one can do is to become aware of the things that drain them, and then to see what they can do about these things. Spending time in water and having massages, as they may know, will also have a positive effect on their wellbeing. If they are carrying trauma, this is going to make it harder for them to handle life. One may have been abused and/or neglected during their younger years, and this would have had a big effect on their nervous system. Thus, through working with a therapist or a healer, for instance, this part of them can get out of survival mode.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When one spends time around the people in their life, they may find that they generally feel good about themselves. And through feeling this way when they are around them, it is likely to mean that they will feel good when their time together comes to an end.
Another Outcome Yet, if this is not how they feel, it could show that one is annoyed that their time together had to come to an end. Perhaps one didn’t have enough time to stay any longer, or the other person might have had to leave early, for instance. At the same time, one could find that they feel sad after they have spent time with someone they are close to. What this could come down to is that one is a highly emotional person, and it could then be hard for them to say goodbye. A Number of Experiences There are then a number of ways in which one can respond, but it could be said that this is just part of life. It is not that one way is right and another way is wrong; it is not this black and white. What matters is that one has just spent time with someone who has a positive effect on their life. If they do feel sad after afterwards, it might not be long until they are back on their feet, so to speak. Looking Deeper One could be used to feeling good after they have spent time with someone, and this might stop them from looking into why this is. It is then something they have become accustomed to and there is no reason for them to take a closer look. If they were to look into why they feel this way, they may start to become aware of certain things. The reason for this is that one doesn’t just feel good around someone; there are going to be a number of factors that play a part here. Two Sides On one side, it could be said that there will be what one can see and, on the other side, there will be what they can’t see. When it relates to the former, there will be the kind of facial expressions this person has, what their body language is like, and how they behave. And when it relates to the latter, it is going to relate to the energy/resonance that this person gives off. Now, it might not be possible for them to see this, but it will certainly be possible for them to pick up on what is taking place at this level. Both Ways The unseen and the seen then combine and this allows one to feel at ease in their company. It would be inaccurate though to overlook the part that one plays in all of this, as they are not just going to be an observer in all this. If one wasn’t the same person, it would probably cause the other person to treat them differently. This comes down to the fact that a relationship is a two way process; it is about give and take. No Different How the other person behaves can then be similar to how one behaves, and this is going to mean that both of them will feel good in each other’s company. And when their time together had come to an end, they can both walk away feeling as though their soul has been nourished. The support that they give to each other is going to make it easier for them to function at their best. However, this doesn’t mean that one will always spend time with people who are life affirming. Another Experience Instead, there could be moments when they spend time around people who behave in a different manner. When they are around someone like this, they could end up feeling as though they are losing energy. Their emotional state could start to drop, and they could feel the need to get away from this person. How they behave and the energy they give off will play a part in this. A Closer Look If they were to reflect on why they feel this way around them, they may find that a number of things come to mind. Firstly, they may see that the other person has negative body language and their facial expressions might not be any better. Along with this, they may find that the other person is very judgemental, and this is then going to make it incredibly difficult for them to relax in their presence. As far as this person is concerned, it will be clear that one is not good enough. A Different Approach Or, one may find that they are unable to work out why this person has such a negative effect on them. The other person’s body language could be fine, as could their facial expressions. After a while, they may see that this is someone who focuses on what they are not doing as opposed to what they are doing, for instance. Consequently, one could feel as though they need to prove themselves. Inadequate Either way, part of them could feel as though there is something wrong with them whilst they are around this person, and they could feel this way for a little while afterwards. It is then going to be in their best interest to limit the amount of time they spend with this person, or to cut them out of their life altogether. If one was take a look into what is taking place for this person at a deeper level, they may find that they feel worthless. But as they have disconnected from how they feel, it causes them to project this part of themselves onto others. Awareness When one comes into contact with people like this on a regular basis, it could show that they need to look into what is taking place within them. Maybe they also feel worthless at a deeper level. It might then be necessary for one to reach out for external support, and this is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Critical Thinking: Do Some People See The President/Prime Minister As Some Kind Of Parental Figure?22/7/2017
Before an election takes place, each candidate will do what they can to get people to vote for them; with their intention being to be the next president/prime minster. This is not to say that every candidate has a chance though, as it is not going to be this black and white.
The Favourites There is a strong chance that one candidate will be the favourite, or it could be between two people. Still, this doesn’t mean that everyone will have this viewpoint; there are likely to be people who believe that this is not the case. The average person on the street can believe that a certain candidate will win the election; whereas the ‘experts’ on TV can believe that it is going to be someone else. It would then be easy to overlook what this person believes and to go along with what the ‘experts’ have to say. A Hidden Agenda However, even though what these people say can be taken as the truth, there can be more to it. What one could find is that the news source that has one candidate down to win is actually supporting them. It will then seem as though this source is reporting on what is taking place, but they are going to be creating their own news. Through creating ‘fake news’, they will try to influence the outcome. Psychological Warfare When the mainstream media takes this approach, it can be seen as way for them to undermine the morale of the people who are voting for another candidate. And it could be said that if someone wants to find out who the globalists want in power, they only need to see which candidate the mainstream media is supporting. What can also take place is that this can cause one to encourage other people to vote for the candidate who appears to be losing. So instead allowing this to get them down, it can give them the desire to take action. One Outlook If one was to vote for someone, it might come down to the fact that they are not too impressed with the other candidates. This could show that they expect too much, or it could be a sign that the candidates on offer leave a lot to be desired. One could, of course, not even bother to vote, but they could feel the need to play their part. Also, voting for one candidate can be seen as a way to make sure that another candidate doesn’t win. Another Outlook At the same time, it could be because they believe this is someone who will change everything for the better. This is then going to be someone who is radically different to the other candidates. So, no matter what their life is like now, they are going to believe that it will change if this candidate wins the election. There could be other people in their life who also have the same viewpoint. A Saviour Consequently, this is not someone who can only do so much; this is someone who has the power to transform their life. In fact, one could believe that the only way their life will change if this person wins the election. One will have elevated this person to such a high position that it will be as if they are more-than human. This candidate will have all the power and they won’t be able to do anything to change their circumstances. A Superior Being One way of looking at this would be to say that one sees this candidate as some kind of god. It is then going to be normal for them to feel inferior to someone who they believe has the power to change their life. If this candidate wins their life will be fine, but if this doesn’t happen it is going to be hard for them to handle what happens. One could end up feeling depressed (that’s if they don’t already feel this way) and they could have moments when they are filled with rage. A Closer Look Another way of looking at this would be to say that one feels like a powerless child, and this is why they have put this candidate on a pedestal. And as they feel this way, it is to be expected that they will see this candidate as an all powerful parent figure. When one feels this way, it can show that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed when they were younger; the trouble is that this time it is unlikely to be any different. Even if this candidate wins the election, it is highly likely that they will be let down all over again. One Option For one thing, these candidates rarely do what they say they are going to do, and even if they did, it doesn’t mean that their life would be perfect. Ultimately, if one is not happy with their life, it is up to them to change it. If one feels powerless and as though they have no control over their life, it doesn’t mean that this is the truth. What it can show is that they have negative beliefs and they could be carrying trauma. Conclusion When one feels like a powerless, dependent child, it can show that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. This would have been a time when they were powerless, but this is not longer the case. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to think about what the modern day world values, beauty and youth may come to mind. And even if other things cross their mind, it will be only too clear how important these things are.
One Step Further While it has been this way for quite some time, it could be said that this is something that has gone even further in recent years. This partly comes down to social media; with this being another area where someone can feel the need to look a certain way. It is then not going to matter if they are offline or online, as they can feel the need to maintain their appearance. At the same time, it might be more accurate to say that they can feel the need to look good regardless of where they are. Another Layer One way of looking at this would be to say that this is another weight for them to carry in their life. Looking good in the real world is not enough; they will also need to look good in the virtual world. Still, if one is in a position where they look good, it might be easier for them to handle this pressure. On the other hand, if they are beginning to lose their looks it is likely to be a different story. Two Experiences However, while one will only be able to do so much in the real world, this is not going to be the case when they are online. For example, if they were to take a picture and it didn’t look right, they could simply edit it. A picture can then look completely different to how it did to begin with, but one might be happy with how they look. The trouble is that the more they change how they look online, the harder it can be for them to accept how they look offline. A Big Contrast One can then receive a lot of approval on social media but, deep down, they will know that this is not what they actually look like. So, when their ‘friends’ and family see them in the real world, they could be in for a shock. Yet, if one hadn’t edited their pictures online, there would be no reason for these people to respond in this way. Now, this may mean that they won’t receive as much positive feedback online, but it will be easier for them to accept how they look. Cosmetic Surgery What they could also do is look into what they can do to change their appearance, and there are going to be a number of things that they can do. After they have tried something, a number of wrinkles might disappear, for instance. This may allow them to feel better about themselves but, even if it does, this won’t be the end of it. They will need to go through the whole process again in a little while, and they will continue to age. Delaying the Inevitable Ultimately, this is a battle that can’t be won; the only thing one can to do is to slow it down. Nevertheless, if this wasn’t having such a big effect on how they feel, they wouldn’t need to be so caught up in how they look. One is going to look at themselves in the mirror and they will end up feeling a certain way after. Changing their appearance is going to be a way for them to change how they feel about themselves. Stepping Back If one was to get in touch what is taking place within them, they may believe that they are no longer as valuable as they were before. At an emotional level, one might feel as though they are worthless. What this can then show is that one has attached their value to how they look; it is then going to be normal for them to feel this way. Whereas if their value was attached to who they are, it would be different. Loss In addition to this, they could feel a deep sense of sadness, and this could then case them to be depressed. This might be hard for them to understand; especially as it’s not as if they have lost someone. Still, what they will have lost is the appearance that they used to have, and this shows that loss can be experienced whenever something changes. Their life will never be the same again. Two Parts One way of looking at this would be to say that this is the result of being brought up in a society that places beauty and youth above all else. For a while, this was a game that they could win, but now that their appearance has changed, this is no longer the case. What this can also show is that they were brought up in an environment where their value was based on what they did, as opposed to who they were. This would then have stopped them from being able to embrace their inherent value. No Longer Hidden When their appearance enabled them to receive a lot of positive feedback from others, it would have allowed then to keep their true feelings at bay. But now that this external feedback is no longer as plentiful, it is not longer possible for them to run away from how they feel. Therefore, if one was treated like a human being and not a human doing when they were younger, it would probably be a lot easier for them to handle this stage of their life. What this emphasises is how much of an effect one’s childhood years can have on how someone experiences life as an adult. Awareness If one was treated like an object during their younger years, there will be the beliefs that they formed and they could be carrying trauma. Through the assistance of a therapist or a healer, one can heal themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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