When someone is carrying pain that needs to be faced and acknowledged, and this pain is avoided, it can lead to a whole host of problems. There can be the effect it has on their mind, emotional body, and their physical body.
As a result of this, this pain is naturally going to play a big part in how they behave and how they experience life. But, while what is taking place inside them will have a big affect on every area of their life, it doesn’t mean that they will do something about this pain. Out of Touch There is the chance that they won’t even be aware of what is going on inside them, and it is then not going to be possible for them to do anything about it. There is the chance that they will have a number of ways to keep this pain at bay. And, as this has been taking place for so long, they might not even have to think about doing something like this. Therefore, even if they were to become aware of the pain that is inside them, they would soon push it back down again. It’s Normal However, even if someone does behave in this manner, it’s not as though they will be doing something that is out of the ordinary. They are likely to come into contact with plenty of people who behave in the same way. As a consequence of living in the west – and even if they don’t – they will most likely have been conditioned to believe that the answers to their problems are ‘out there’. Taking something can then be seen as the right thing to do when it comes to feeling better. A Different Approach After running away from this pain for however long, they might start to wonder if there is another way. Ideally, this will be before their life gets so bad that they have no other choice than to do something. Yet, if this is what takes place, it could be a sign that they have just gone through an extremely painful breakup or they may have hit rock bottom emotionally. They might still be able to carry on at this point, but what has happened may have finally given them the push that they need to wake up and change their life. Going In If they have avoided their inner world for most of their life, it is unlikely that they will just be able to dive in there. This is then no different to how someone won’t be able to run ten miles if they haven’t even run one mile. The masculine element within them, the part that gives them courage, amongst other things, will need to be developed. This will give them the ability to get in touch with what is taking place inside their body and not to try to run away from themselves. Two Parts It would be easy to say that the only element that is needed when it comes to healing emotional pain is the masculine, but this is not the truth. One part will be for them to penetrate their own inner world, and the other part will be for them to surrender to what is taking place. Once they get in touch with how they feel, it is not going to be necessary for them to use force. If they were to do this, they wouldn’t get very far; it would end up being another type of avoidance. Two Energies Their masculine element will be what allows them to break through the defences that they have built up over the years. And, as these defences start to crumble, it will make it easier for them to connect with what is actually going on inside them. Through embracing their feminine element, and therefore letting go of the need to change or do anything, they will be able to face and acknowledge how they feel. Giving the wounded part of them the chance to be heard will be what allows them to transform. Early Wounds This can be a time when they will end up getting in touch with the wounded inner children that are within them. It won’t matter how old they are as what happened during their early years will still be affecting their life. When they were wounded, a part of them would have ended up being stuck at this point in their life. These parts will end up taking a lot of their energy and they will stop them from being able to operate as a coherent human being. Awareness One of the reasons why it is a good idea to work with a therapist or a healer is that they will give one the support that they need to get the ball moving, so to speak. In the same way that an unstable house will need scaffolding, one may need external support until they feel strong enough to do this kind of work by themselves. Reaching out external support doesn’t mean that one is incapable or inherently weak. If anything; it shows that they value themselves enough to do something about their life, and this also takes courage.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Even though one will have their own life to lead while they are on this planet, it doesn’t mean that they will actually have their own life. Instead, they could end up spending most of their tine focusing on other people’s problems.
When this takes place, they could end up being seen as someone who is a selfless human being. Therefore, one will be neglecting themselves but they will still receive a fair amount of positive feedback from others. Socially Acceptable What this comes down to is that it is often believed that it is a bad thing for someone to focus on their own needs and a good thing to focus on other people’s needs. This is then something that is black and white and that’s all there is to it. Consequently, it will be easy for the years to go by and for one not to come into contact with anyone who will tell them that their behaviour is unhealthy. Now, this is not to say that every part of them will be happy with what is going on; what it is likely to mean is that the part of them that is not happy will generally be ignored. Outer Directed One will typically be focused on what is going on externally, causing them rarely pay attention to their own needs and feelings, let alone meet them. They may be in a relationship or they may be single, but there is always going to be people in their life who need their help. If they are not in a relationship, they might have more time for other people, but then again, this might not matter. They are then not going to be employed by anyone to be there for others, but it will be as though this is their reason for being on this earth. Two Sides When they are around others, they could generally come across as happy and easy going; however, this could be radically different to what they are like in their own company. During this time, they could end up feeling down and even depressed. Still, they could come to believe that this hasn’t got anything to do with how they live their life. They may have come to conclude that it is due to a chemical imbalance, for instance. Business as Usual Ultimately, the pain that they experience when they are by themselves will be there to let them know that they are living in the wrong way. Yet, unless they listen to themselves, it won’t be possible for them to make use of this guidance. They will continue to place other people’s needs above their own and to put their own life on hold in the process. So, even if they do have a fulfilling career, for example, they are unlikely to be doing as well as they could. A Distraction One way of looking at this kind of behaviour would be to say that this allows one to avoid their own life. Ergo, if they were to spend less time focusing on other people’s needs and more time on their own needs, it might cause them to experiencing a lot of pain. Based on this, if they were to face their own pain and to work through it, their behaviour would gradually change. This is then analogous to how someone can stop comfort eating when they no longer feel sad, for instance. Another Element What one is likely to find, if they were to no longer behave in this way, is that they start to feel uncomfortable. If they were to go a little deeper, they may see that they don’t feel comfortable with their own needs. They may believe that other people’s needs are more important than their own, which would explain why they try to do so much for them. Being there for others may then be an indirect way for them to fulfil their own needs. The Downside Along with neglecting their own needs, they may also find that their behaviour rarely has a positive effect on others. The reason for this is that they could do things for others that they shouldn’t do. Through trying to rescue or save others, it will make it harder for them to take responsibility for their own life. It might be more accurate to say that they will be helping to keep some of these people where they are - in a dependent state. Way Back If one was to look back on what took place during the beginning of their life, they may find that this was a time when they had to focus on their caregivers needs. Their primary purpose would have been to serve their caregivers, causing them to lose touch with their own needs. This would have set them up to believe that their value was based on what they did as opposed to who they were. Pleasing their caregivers would have been the primary way for them to receive positive feedback. Awareness The years would have passed, and this would have changed their appearance, but they would have continued to behave in the same way. And, Instead of trying to please their parents, they would have tried to please other people. In order for them to change their behaviour, they will need to change what they believe about their own needs and they may need to grieve their unmet childhood needs. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
While there are people who are not interested in trying to rescue or save other people, there are others who are. As a result of this, some people will be repelled by these kinds of people and some will be drawn to them like bees to a honey pot.
And no matter what kind of people someone is drawn to, this can be what is normal. What this means is that they won’t need to think about whether or not they should go towards them or move away from them; this is something that will just happen. Less Drama What is clear is that when someone is not drawn to people who come across as though they need to be rescued, their life is likely to be a lot less complicated. They will be able to pay attention to their own needs and to be there for others, as opposed to being consumed by other people’s needs. This will make it easier for them to function at their best and to have enough energy to truly be there for others. Therefore, when they do extend themselves to others, they won’t try to do things for them that they should be doing for themselves. Self-Worth The reason that they will be able to do this is because they value themselves and feel safe enough to behave in this manner. They can then put their needs first, without feeling as though they are doing anything wrong. And as their needs are important, it would show that something isn’t right if they felt guilty and ashamed for paying attention to them. What this is also likely to show is that they have good boundaries. A Clear Line This will enable them to see where they begin and end and where other people begin and end, thereby allowing them to realise that they are not responsible for other people. If they were to do things for them that they should do for themselves, they would probably soon realise that they have crossed their boundaries. If this was to happen, they might end up feeling more like someone’s parent than their friend or partner, for instance. The relationship would end up being out of balance and it would start to diminish them. A Choice This is not to say that they will give something and shortly after they will get something back; what it comes down to is that their relationships won’t be one-sided. The reason someone is in their life will be due to the fact that they want them to be. How this person experiences life is likely to be radically different to how someone experiences life when they have the need to save or to rescue others. For one thing, they are likely to spend a lot of time focusing on other people’s needs. Out of Touch Naturally, this is going to cause them to neglect their own needs, and they could even act as though they don’t have needs. It is then not that they are out of touch with their own needs; it is that they just don’t have any. Their needs will have been replaced by other people’s needs; it will be as if they are an extension of others. They are then not responsible for their own needs; they are responsible for others people’s needs. One Focus So, instead of being aware of what is going on within them and being aware of what is going on externally, they will generally be focused on what is going on externally. Their priority will be to do what they can to please others. Behaving in this way will allow them to receive approval and this will have a positive effect on their ego. The down side is that while their ego will be happy with what is going on, their true-self will end up being completely overlooked. The Benefit But, although they will be ignoring their own needs and suffering in the process, their self-worth will be defined by what they do for others. What this means is that they will only feel good about themselves if they are trying to fix other people. The people in their life will make them feel needed and this is going to be a need that is very strong. If they didn’t have people like this in their life, they would end up feeling worthless and rejected and abandoned. A Mask Someone like this can come across as strong and capable; making it hard to comprehend how they could end up feeling like this if they had no one to save. However, this will just be a false-self that they created to keep their pain at bay and to receive approval. Through having developed this false-self – a false-self that would have caused them to disconnect from their true needs and feelings - it will also mean that it is not possible for them to experience intimacy. They won’t be emotionally available and the people they are drawn to are likely to be in a similar position. A Closer Look When someone behaves in this way, it can show that they had to fulfil their caregiver needs when they were growing up. This would have caused them to lose touch with their true-self and to believe that their value was based on what they did. They would have gone from a human being to a human doing, and this would have set them to believe that they were inherently flawed. If they didn’t do what their caregivers wanted, they would have been rejected and abandoned. Awareness This would have stopped them from able to develop a strong sense of self and to know where they begin and end and where other people begin and end. Focusing on other people’s needs will be a way for them to regulate their own emotions, with this being an ability that they wouldn’t have developed due to being neglected. The years will have passed since this took place but it will still be having a big effect on their life. Reaching out for external support can be a way for them to move forward, and this can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Black Panther: Did ‘Black Panther’ Emphasize How Important It Is To Heal Ancestral Trauma?26/7/2018
When ‘Black Panther’ came out earlier on in the year, I heard that it was a really good film. A few friends of mine said it was good and one of them said that they were willing to see it again if I wanted to go.
I didn’t go to the cinema in the end and I ended up forgetting all about the film. For some reason, I started to think about the film the other day, and I soon decided that it would be a good idea to would watch it. Two Parts While I was watching it there were moments when I would detach from what was going on in front of me and wonder what the purpose of this film was. It was as if the intention of this film was to try to create even more tension between people who have black and white skin, and in addition to this, I thought that it went into what can happen when ancestral trauma is not resolved. When it comes to the former, the left, through their focus on identity politics, have been trying to divide black and white people for quite some time now. This ideology paints all white people as oppressors, and in this film white people are seen as a “colonizers”. Divide and Rule Through hearing something like this, along with the conditioning they have received by the mainstream media and the education system, someone can end up being even more convinced that all white people are evil. But, if every white person is seen as having ancestors who played a part in what took place in Africa all those years ago, this is not much of a surprise. Yet, even if every white person had ancestors who were involved in what took place, would it really make sense to punish the people who have come after them, to try to make them feel guilty and to hate themselves for what took place all those years ago? Black and White The big question is: do two wrongs make a right? What this kind of propaganda also does is create the impression that white people are the only race on the planet that had ancestors who enslaved people from other races and that none of their ancestors were enslaved. Another big question here is: who on this planet benefits when people from these two races end up fighting each other, as opposed to working together? Why would anyone want to demonize white people? A Big Distraction What is clear is that if someone has brought into what the system has told them, they are going to be too busy hating all white people or themselves (if they are white), to be able to ask these kinds of questions. As a result of this, the people who are working morning and night to divide people won’t be disrupted. One has to wonder if the reason why the people behind the scenes are doing everything they can to demonise white people is because they are trying to assuage their own guilt and shame. This is then similar to how a person who is cheating can accuse their partner of cheating; the difference here is that it will relate to something that is far more severe. An Ethnostate But even though this film was very much on board with the identity politics of the left in this regard, it didn’t go as far as to promote multiculturalism and diversity. Wakanda, the country in the film, is inhabited by black people, and it doesn’t accept immigrants or refugees. The countries main priority is to look after its citizens and not to try to save the rest of the world. This approach is radically different to what most countries in the west try to do – a number of these countries have leaders who are believe that their main responsibility is to solve the world’s problem. The Real World Countries like Hungry, for instance, who have not embraced multiculturalism to the degree that other countries have are often heavily criticised by the mainstream media. These countries are often seen as being xenophobic or racist. So far, I haven’t heard anyone use these words to describe Wakanda. If this was a real country, it would be interesting to see how it would be described by the mainstream media, lecturers, and world leaders, for instance. Another Part In addition to these elements of the film, another thing that stood out was the parts of the film when the main character visited the afterlife. His father had passed on, but through being in this plane of existence he was still able to connect with this presence and to seek his counsel. This also gave him the chance to understand why a fellow Wakandan would want to cause so much harm. After learning that this man’s father had been excluded, causing him (the son) to be forgotten about in the process, it becomes clear why he is so full of rage. The Power of Acknowledgment Hearing about this made me think about something called family constellations, as this healing modality looks into how challenges are passed from one generation to another. What this means is that each generation doesn’t start with a clean slate; they pick up what wasn’t resolved by the people who came before them. So, if this man and his father had been treated differently, there would have been no reason for his son to behave in this manner. What he had gone through needed to be brought up to the surface and acknowledged. Healing Trauma What this emphasises is that it isn’t possible for someone to simply forget about what their ancestors went through and to move on – this won’t solve anything. This will be about as useful as telling someone who has lost a loved one to just ‘move on’ or to ‘get over it’. Many, many years may have passed since one of their ancestors when through something that was extremely traumatic, but it can be as though it happened to them yesterday. This is why what has been passed down to them will need to be acknowledged and resolved, in order to allow them to embrace the present moment and to live their own life. Final Thoughts Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what colour someone’s skin is as there is a strong chance that some kind of trauma will have been passed down to them. If this is not dealt with and someone allows it to define their life, it can be normal for them to add even more drama to the world. Finally, these are just my views and this means there are many other ways looking at this film. Overall I would say that it is a good film – the acting is good, as is the music – so I would recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone wants to find out about what is going on in the world, they might end up looking towards the alternative media. This can be seen as the only news source that does what it is supposed to do – to report on what is actually going on.
It might then be accurate to say that this person likes to think for themselves, which is why they don’t pay attention to the mainstream media. They are not going to be interested in being a passive consumer of the news. Looking For Answers If they didn’t have the need to find out about what is actually going on, there would be no reason for them to look towards this source. Instead, they could just sit in front of a TV or read a paper. In their eyes, this could be seen as what someone would do if they were happy to be programmed by the system. Someone like this could see themselves as being a highly curious person. The Real Deal Now, this doesn’t mean that they will accept everything the alternative media comes out with, but they might be happy to accept most of it. So, while they will need to examine everything the mainstream media tells them, this won’t be the case with this source of information. And, due to where they get their information from, they may believe that they are one of the few people on this planet who know what is going on. This may cause them to experience a sense of superiority, or to believe that they are more awake than others. A Natural Consequence Yet, if they believe that the mainstream media is full of lies and the alternative media is full of truth, this is to be expected. This doesn’t mean that they will have a superiority complex though, as this might not have an impact on every part of their life. Also, even if they do believe that they are more informed than others, it doesn’t mean that they won’t try to pass this information on. Even so, they could be used to having this information thrown back in their face. Validation When this happens, it can be seen as a sign that most people are too closed-minded to embrace new information. Thus, not only will someone like this be unaware of what is going on, they will be too closed-minded to find out. This kind of behaviour can end up supporting their belief that they are in the know and that a lot of people are reluctant to think for themselves. The problem here is that while one can believe that they are aware of what is going on, they might only know what the establishment wants them to know. Connected From the outside, it can seem as though the alternative media has absolutely no connection to the mainstream media. On one level, this is likely to be the case; however, this doesn’t mean that they are not being funded by the same people. What can add to the illusion that the people in the alternative media are not funded by anyone is that it can seem as though they just appeared out of nowhere. Thus, unlike the people who are on TV, they are just regular people Controlled Opposition Thanks to the internet, it is easier than ever before for someone to make it big without having a lot of financial support. This is something that the people behind the scenes can use to their advantage. They can give someone the financial backing that they need to gain people’s attention, which will allow this person to come across as though their own efforts allowed them to rise to the top and that they are not affiliated to anyone else. By coming across as the real deal, it can be a lot easier for someone like this to brainwash the people who have turned their back on the mainstream media. Another Approach Conversely, the people behind the scenes can try to get someone to work for them after they have made it big. They will no doubt try to do this by offering them money and other material benefits. When this happens, it can cause someone to gradually change their focus and to no longer talk about the people who are really running the show. This will allow the people who are really doing the damage to stay out of the public eye and for a false enemy to be created. A Lot of Truth What can make it harder for someone to see that they are not being told the complete truth is that most of these alternative media sources talk openly about what so many people can see with their own eyes. This is where the mainstream media fails, in apart, due to political correctness. For example, the alternative media is often happy to blame Muslims for everything and to see Islam as the problem, but what this source rarely looks into is who is responsible for destroying most of the middle east. If these sources were committed to the truth, they would look into who is really responsible for the upheaval in the world. Establishment / Zionists The trouble is that if they were to do this, their funding would probably soon come to an end. After all, if they are being funded, they are there to distract people from what is really going on. The people behind the scenes have always been good at hiding themselves, and even though the internet has given people the chance to find out about just about anything, they have still been able to execute a number of their plans. This must show how much control they still exert over the world. Conclusion If the establishment hadn’t infiltrated the alternative media, they probably would have ended up paying a big price. And, based on how long they have been in power for, it is clear that they rarely leave things to chance. Taking this into account, someone would need to be naive to believe that the establishment has no connection to the alternative media. So, regardless of whether someone is paying attention to the mainstream media or the alternative media, they will need to utilize their ability to think critically.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to look towards a celebrity for guidance. Consequently, it won’t matter if a celebrity is a good singer, actor/actress, or any else for that matter, as they will be seen as an authority on just about everything under the sun.
Now, if someone has elevated a celebrity in this way, it could show that they are at the beginning of their life. This is then a sign that they haven’t developed the ability to think critically, which is why they perceive these kinds of people as modern day gods/goddesses. Human Beings At the same time, someone like this might not be at the beginning of their life. Yet, even though a number of years will have passed since that stage of their life, it won’t have had an impact on how they see these types of people. In both of these cases, it won’t be possible for someone to see that no matter what a celebrity can do, there are going to be plenty of things that they can’t do. Along with this, they won’t know everything. The Perfect Candidates So, as there are so many people in the world who are happy to believe everything that comes out of a celebrity’s mouth, it wouldn’t be a surprise if these kinds of people were being used to indoctrinate the masses. The last thing that the people at the top want is for people to be able to think critically, and, when something comes out of a celebrity’s mouth, it can end up being swallowed by millions of people around the world. With this in mind, what better way is there to define what so many people believe, than to have celebrity’s who are there to entertain people on one hand and to indoctrinate them on the other? Through being so enamoured with them, the average person won’t even realise that this is taking place. Moving On But, let’s just say that that is complete nonsense, and that the only purpose they have is to entertain people. What this then means is that their views are their own views, not the result of what they have been told to come out with. Additionally, lets also say that the average celebrity is very intelligent, meaning that it is a good idea to pay attention to whatever comes out of their mouth. Thus, it doesn’t matter if they are talking about their profession or politics, for instance. A Popular Topic It is not uncommon for a celebrity to talk about open borders, with open borders being seen as a good idea. And, as it has come out of their mouth, there is a strong chance that plenty of people will hear about it. Some people will come to believe that as this has come out of a celebrity’s mouth, it must mean that it is the truth. Someone like this will have money, talent and most likely they will look the part, so why wouldn’t they know what they are talking about? The Truth Furthermore, someone like this could appear to be an evolved human being, or someone who has an open heart, for instance. If this is the case, and they believe that it is a good idea to have open borders, there will be no need to examine what has come out of their mouth. What this will then show is that if someone doesn’t believe that open borders are a good idea, it must show that they are not very evolved. It will then be important for them open their heart and not to allow fear or ‘hate’ to define their life. A Closer Look Another way of looking at this would be to say that the only reason a celebrity would come out with someone like this is because of the bubble they live in. Due to how much money they have and the quality of life that this affords them, they are completely out of touch with the real world. So, no matter how much houses cost, what wages are like, or how safe somewhere is, for instance, it is unlikely to have much of an effect on them. To a certain extent, the amount of money they have will offset the challenges that open borders would bring. Plenty of Options Of course, if every society on the planet was to collapse, they would end up in a similar position to everyone else; the money they have would have no value. But, until that time, they have the means to live however they so choose and to have their own security, amongst other things. If someone like this was to live in the real world for short while, it might soon become clear how different life is for the average person. They might see that it is easy for them to say that open borders would be a good idea due to the fact that they wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences. The Main Point It could then be said that unless someone will be affected by something, their views shouldn’t be taken as seriously. When a celebrity says that open borders are a good idea, it is a bit like when a politician spends other people’s money; there is absolutely no risk involved on their part. They can end up looking good in the eyes of others, but what has come out of their mouth has not been well thought out. If anything, it simply shows that they should stick to what they do best. Conclusion In an ideal world, the education system would teach people how to think as opposed to what to think. This would make it easier for them to see through a lot of the propaganda that is around today. At the same time, if this took place while someone was in the education system, there would probably be less propaganda around. The reason for this is that this would probably show that something big has shifted at the top, or else this wouldn’t take place to begin with.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Critical Thinking: Why Do Some People Swallow Everything The Mainstream Media Comes Out With?22/7/2018
In recent years, the mainstream media’s power has waned but that doesn’t mean that there are not a lot of people who still pay attention to this source of information. Some of the people who look towards this source to tell what is going on will be in the latter stages of their life, while there will be others who will be at the beginning of their life.
There would have been a time when this was the only source available for some of these people, and, although there are now other sources available, they haven’t jumped ship, so to speak. On the other hand, when it comes to the people who are lot younger, there is the chance that there have always been other sources available to them. Another Source Now, if someone like this was to hear about the alternative media, they might be curious about it. As a result of this, they could end up taking the next step and seeing what this source has to say. Then again, they could believe that the alternative media is ‘fake news’ and decide to keep their distance. It is then going to be as though the mainstream media is the only real news and it will be in their best interest to avoid these news sources. Black and White Consequently, there is going to be no reason for them to utilise their ability to think critically – the mainstream media will do that for them. This doesn’t mean that they will accept everything this sources sells, but the alternative media won’t be seen as a source that is worth listening to. The mainstream media might be seen as a source that gets it wrong from time to time, but it could be as though the alternative media always gets it wrong. The former will have their best interests at heart, while the latter wont. Fixed Minded If someone like this was to come into contact with someone who paid attention to different news sources, it could end up getting a bit heated. The first person’s way of looking at the world is likely to be defined by the mainstream media, whereas the second person’s views won’t be. But while they could end up having a discussion, there is also the chance that this won’t take place. Instead, the first person could end up becoming defensive, and they might try to silence the second person. Regression Therefore, instead of being able to behave like an adult, it will be as though they have regressed to a child. The words that they use to try to silence the other person might not be the words used on a playground, but they will serve the same purpose. For example, after this person has expressed views that go against the dominant narrative, they could label them in some way. This could be a time when they will be called a racist, misogynist, sexist, and/or as having some kind of phobia, for instance. A Meltdown Alternatively, after hearing something that they disagree with, someone like this could act as though their system is being overwhelmed. It could be as if their body is starting to seize up. In the example above, someone will be happy to reveal their anger, but in this example, they are likely to keep it in. It can seem as though their mind will only let new information in if it comes from the mainstream media; otherwise, it will be rejected. Closed Minded Ultimately, regardless of whether someone pays attention to the mainstream media or if they pay attention to the alternative media, it doesn’t mean that they will always be right. This is why it is important for someone to be able to open up and to have their views challenged. However, while this could be seen as the ideal way to be – that’s if someone is interested in finding the truth – this is not going to interest the person above. They are likely to be more interested in being right. Two Parts But while their mind will be closed when it comes to having their views challenged, it will be wide open when they pay attention to the mainstream media. If they were close their mind slightly when they pay attention to the media and to open it up slightly when it comes to having their views challenged, they would probably be more in balance. Deep down, they may believe that the mainstream media has their best interests at heart. Additionally, they may have the tendency to put authority figures on a pedestal, which will stop them from questioning what these kinds of people come out with. Validation What the mainstream media comes out with may also validate what they believe at a deeper level. It is then not that they want to be informed about the world; they just want their beliefs to be validated. And, through being exposed to this source of information for however long, there is the chance that this source has played a part in what they believe. This source has then planted seeds in their mind and it regularly waters these seeds to make sure they don’t die off. Conclusion Another thing that can’t be overlooked here is that someone like this might just be intellectually lazy. Their mind will be more like a dog that likes to sit around all day as opposed to one that likes to dig holes everywhere and to find things. Naturally, it is a lot easier to accept what this source comes out with than it is to think about what is being sold. This allows this source of information to maintain their control and to continue to keep them, along with others, in the dark.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
After I had had a number of readings, I started to think about how it was possible for someone to predict what would happen to me as time went by. I wondered if certain things would only happen because I had ended up believing that they would happen.
If this was the case, it was as though a reader was planting seeds in mind; seeds that I would water overtime. Through giving energy to these seeds, they would gradually end up growing into plants and trees. It’s Your Choice I ended up having a reading with someone who said that nothing was set in stone and that everything could change when I went back out into the world again. This person was aware of how the mind worked and didn’t want me to believe that I didn’t have a choice. I thought that what he said sounded accurate, or it would mean that I was just an observer of my life. If this was the case, there would be absolutely nothing I could do if something unpleasant was predicted to happen further down the line. Looking Back Certain things I was told would happen happened, while there were things I was told would happen that didn’t. I would often wonder if this was the result of me changing my behaviour after I had the reading. What also crossed my mind was whether or not a lot of what I was told was completely inaccurate. There was no way that I could really answer these questions; in order to do that, I would have to go back in time. A Messenger Someone ended up shedding some light on all this while I was volunteering a number of weeks ago. We were talking about tarot card readings and I was asked if I had had any. I said that I had had a few over the years and that some of the things that they said would happen did happen. After I said this, he said that a great way to find out if someone is psychic is to ask them about your past. Clear Evidence The reason for this was that what has happened in the past is not going to change. Therefore, if a reader can give a detailed account of what someone has been through, there is a strong chance that they are psychic. I thought that this was a great way to see if a reader had this ability or if they were just having a go anyway. Up until that point, I hadn’t thought of a way of finding out if someone was psychic. Final Thoughts So, do you think that this is a good way to find out if someone is psychic? Do you have another way of finding out if a reader is the real deal?
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone was treated badly during the beginning of their life, by the very people who were supposed to love and protect them, the last thing on their mind can be to show them compassion. In fact, what they could think about is how they would like to get revenge for what was done to them.
This could be very similar to how they used to be as a child, with them having the desire get their own back for what was being done to them. The difference now, of course, is that they will be a lot bigger than they were. A Defence They could spend a lot of time thinking about what they could do to punish the people who punished them. There might also be other moments when they end up falling down, into the pain that they experienced as a child. Experiencing anger, and even rage, will allow them to feel strong and capable, while putting these emotions to one side will cause them to feel powerless and helpless. Based on this, the need to experience revenge can be a way for them to avoid their true feelings. Not an Option If someone is experiencing life in this way and they are unable to take a step back, there is going to be no reason for them to change their behaviour. Ultimately, this is where they are at this point in their life. Another person could talk to them about hoe destructive this is and how they need to face their wounds, but it could fall on deaf ears. They might even end up telling this person that they don’t know what they are talking about, along with acting aggressively towards them. Looking For A Way Out However, if someone is aware of what is going on and can see that this is not getting them anywhere, they might look for a way to experience life differently. They will be aware that part of them wants to get revenge and that this same part is also full of fear and feels completely powerless. There might also still be times when they end up being fully absorbed in this part and lose the ability to see what is going on. But, even though this part will take over from time to time, it won’t be enough to stop them from moving forward with their life. A Balanced Outlook What this shows is that they have developed enough awareness to see how futile it is to get caught up in something that took place so many years ago. Not only is this having a negative effect on their wellbeing, it is also stopping them from creating a life that matches up with who they a really are. In order for them to get to this point, they may have already worked through some of the pain that is within them. If they hadn’t done this, it would be a lot harder for them to step back and to see how much pain their inner child is in. Denial It can then seem as though someone can either get caught up in how they feel or they can gradually move through it, yet there is another thing that can take place. One can end up disconnecting from how they really feel and act as though their childhood was fine. This could set them up to be a people pleaser, and to suffer from depression and anxiety, among other things. Intellectually, they will have one outlook, but their body will know exactly what took place. Protection It would be easy to say that this person is just in denial and that they need to face reality, or else they will continue to suffer in silence. But while they are in denial, they are likely to be carrying a lot of pain within them Therefore, it is not going to be as if this is something they have just consciously chosen to do; it will have been a defence that was put in place to keep them alive. Taking this into account, they will gradually need to peel away the layers that are covering up what is within them, and this will probably require external support. Becoming Softer When someone does work through the wounds that are within them, their heart might gradually begin to open. As this takes place, they may start to find that it is easier for them to show compassion towards others and themselves. They may begin to wonder why their parents - or any else who was around - behaved in the way that they did. It might become clear that these people were not even aware of what they were doing. One Step Further Additionally, they may find out that these people were treated in a similar way during the beginning of their life. It might go back even further, which means that their grandparents may have also had a similar experience. As a result of this, one would not be acting in a conscious manner if they were to spend their whole life being angry at the people who were, in many ways, an effect on their early abuse. If they were to allow this pain to define them, they would end up going down the same path. Awareness The main thing is that one faces and works through their own wounds - and what has been passed down ancestrally – and doesn’t force themselves to show compassion to the people who abused them. Compassion could be seen as a by-product of doing this kind of work. When it comes to working through these wounds, the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In the same way that it is easy for someone not embrace each day of the week due to being completely absorbed in what will happen at the weekend, it is also just as easy for them to ignore the people in their life due to being completely absorbed in their Smartphone. In each of these cases, the present moment won’t be fully embraced.
A Smartphone could be seen as the ideal piece of technology for the mind, since it gives the mind a way to leave the present moment. The mind needs something to do and it doesn’t have anything to do in the now. The Problem But, while someone’s mind will be happy to be totally absorbed in this piece of technology, it doesn’t mean that the people they spend time with will be equally happy with this. Then again, if these people are also glued to their device, it might not bother them that much. Most of their time will be spent somewhere else, even though their physical body will be right in front of them. There is a term that comes to mind here, and this is ‘together alone’, whereby two people are together but they are still alone. In The Same Boat When two people behave in this way, there may be moments when they get annoyed that the other is not present but this could soon pass. Before long, what is taking place on a screen will be far more important. The person who is right in front of them will be more like a distraction than someone who is an important part of their life. So, as long as the other doesn’t want too much of their attention, everything should be fine. Being Seen When someone spends a lot of time on a Smartphone when they are around others, it can also be a way for them to hide. And if they don’t feel comfortable with being seen, they will feel comfortable around people who behave in the same way. The other person will be too busy looking at a screen to really see them, and this could stop them from feeling unconformable. Deep down they will want to be seen, but the baggage that is within them will have caused them to also have the opposite need. Conflict Ultimately, they are an interdependent human being, and this is why they need human contact. Thus, when this doesn’t take place, it is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. Yet, when someone is carrying a lot of shame, for instance, and doesn’t want to be around people who actually show up, it is going to stop them from being able to fulfil this need. The need to hide will be stronger than the need to be seen. Pushed Aside If someone is consumed by their device and the person they are with doesn’t spend as much time on it, it is bound to have a negative effect on them as time goes by. In the beginning, this could be something that they could brush off and simply tolerate. They might end up asking them to not use their Smartphone as much, with the hope that they will see how destructive it is for them to behave in this manner. They might not get the message, though, and continue to behave in this way. One Direction If these two people are in an intimate relationship, the emotional connection that they have might start to disappear. The person who spends a lot of time on their device will have already been directing a lot of their energy towards their phone (this might even be their primary relationship), and now the other person will start to pull their energy back. From the outside, it might seem as though their relationship hasn’t changed, and this could be because they still live together. This will be nothing more than an illusion, as the bond that existed between them will have stated to erode. Another Example A friendship between two people can end up going down the same path, too. Here, someone might not spend us much time in the other’s company, but the time that they do spend with them is unlikely to be very fulfilling. So, unlike the person who is in a relationship with someone like this, they won’t spend as much time in the presence. Or, as this person will rarely be present, it would be more accurate to say they won’t see them as much. The Consequences But, regardless of what the context is, there are certain things that are likely to occur when someone is unable to put their device to one side and to be present. The person they are with can end up feeling ignored, disrespected, and as though they are not valued. These emotions are going to be like kryptonite to the emotional connection that they have. What this emphasises is that it is not enough for someone to be in another person’s company; their whole presence needs to be there. One Outcome This is then similar to how it is not enough for a parent to be in close proximity to their child in order for their child to feel seen - they need to be fully present with them. A child can be neglected without being physically abandoned; this can take place by having a parent who is physically present but emotionally unavailable. Awareness Speaking up about what is going on might be the best approach to take; but someone might find it easier to look towards another person to fulfil their needs if they are in a relationship. Taking the second option can end up creating another problem, while not solving the first. If someone realises that they spend too much time on their device when they are around others, they can start to put their phone away around others - doing this will make it easier for them to truly show up. This something that is likely to have a positive effect on all of their relationships.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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