Quite some time ago I came across a post on social media where someone was basically lamenting the fact that although they were there for their friends during tough times, their friends were not there for them when they were going through a tough time. From what they said, it would be easy to see them as a victim.
This person is then going to be caring and supportive, yet the people in their life are the complete opposite. After reading this post, it would be easy to feel sorry for this person and to want to offer them a few supportive words. Another Angle However, while it would be easy to feel sorry for this person and even to see them as a victim, it could be said that there is a lot more to it than this. For one thing, one doesn’t have to stay friends with these people. Therefore, if they are only taking from them, they can cut their ties with these people. What this clearly shows is that one is not powerless; they can do something about what is taking place. An Important Question As they haven’t done this, it will be a good idea for them to reflect on why they haven’t moved on from these people. One way of looking at this would be to say that even though they are angry about this, another part of them feels comfortable with what is taking place. Consciously, one is not going to be getting anything from this, but unconsciously, it can be a very different story. So, the reason why they don’t realise this is probably because they are not aware of this other part of them. A Closer Look If they were to go beyond what is going in their conscious mind and to go deeper within themselves, what they may find is that they feel worthless. Thus, even though one part of them will get angry at how these people treat them, another part of them will believe that they deserve to be treated in this way. This will be the reason why they tolerate this behaviour, as opposed to drawing the line and finding people that are willing to be there for them. It might be hard for them to accept this, but at least they will be able to see that they are not a victim. Final Thoughts Ultimately, this is just one of the many ways that someone can victimise themselves. What this emphasises is how vital it is for someone to develop self-awareness as this will stop them from having a victim mentality. Along with this, having an internal locust of control will also help as this will stop them from getting caught up in what takes place externally. This doesn’t mean that this will allow them to have complete control over their life; what it means is that they will see that they do have an effect on their life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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When someone first starts to spend time with another person, they may find that they only experience good feelings. If there are moments when they don’t, these moments may soon pass.
The same could also apply when they are not in the other persons company, with this being a time when they will experience good feelings whenever they think about them. If there are moments when they don’t, these moments may also pass before long. A Gradual Change However, as the weeks and months go by, they may find that their emotional experience starts to change. There could be times when they don’t experience good feelings when they are with their partner and the same thing could happen when they think about them. When this happens, one could end up experiencing a fair amount of emotional pain. One could come to believe that the reason they feel different is because of what their partner has done or because their partner has changed in some way, for instance. One Direction If they come to this conclusion, there is going to be no need for them to take a step back and to see if there is more to it. What is going on out there will be the cause and they won’t have played a part in how they feel. The outcome of this is that they could end up blaming their partner, with it being clear that they the ones who are at fault. Their partner could end up going along with this or they could end up pushing back. Out of Balance If their partner goes along with it, it could show that their partner doesn’t have a clear idea of what they are responsible for and what they are not responsible for. Due to this, it will be normal for them to take the blame for things that have nothing to do with them. On the other hand, if their partner draws the line and doesn’t take on what doesn’t relate to them, one may look into what part they are playing in how they feel. If they do this, it will have a positive effect on their relationship and it will also serve one’s own evolution. A Different Outlook The reason for this is that one will own their own wounds as opposed to blaming their partner for what has been triggered within them. This will stop them for projecting their issues onto their partner, thereby giving them the chance to work through their inner wounds. These inner wounds can relate to what has taken place in their adult life and they can go back to what took place during their childhood years. Unlike a physical wound, an inner wound won’t just heal by itself. Presence An emotional wound can just be covered up and forgotten about by their conscious mind. The downside to this is that when it is brought up to the surface, months or even years later, one can blame another person for how they feel. For an emotional wound to be healed, one will need to be with how they feel and to give the wound their full attention. One is then not resisting or trying to change how they feel, they are being with their emotional self. A Big Impact One way to look at these emotional wounds would be to say that they make it hard for one to operate as a whole human being. They are then going to look whole from the inside, but on the inside they will be anything but whole. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one will have many different split-off parts within them. It will take a fair amount of energy for one to keep these parts at bay and it won’t be possible for them to fully show up. Weakened One could then be in great physical shape, for instance, but they won’t be completely in their power. What this illustrates is that if one ignores these inner wounds, they won’t be able to function at their best. Still, what can happen is that one can get used to living in this way, which is why it can seem as though everything is fine. Their energy is unlikely to be as strong as it could be and their presence is likely to be diminished. Strengthened As they begin to work through their emotional wounds and to integrate these split-off parts, more of them will be able to show up. Furthermore, they will be less reactive and able to be more present around their partner. So by viewing their emotional pain in a totally different way, it will make it easier for them to grow and develop. They will realise that whenever emotional pain comes up, it will be calling out to be acknowledged; it won’t want to be pushed down or changed into something positive. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to become a more integrated human being, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. The reason one may need external support is because they might not be able to handle these wounds by themselves, which will stop them from being able to work through them. By having someone else to hold the space for them, they will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Just because someone looks whole on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they feel whole on the inside. How they look is then going to have very little to do with how they actually experience life.
Based on how they experience life, it will be as though they are missing something. As a result of this, they can spend a lot of time looking for a way to change how they feel. A Bleak Existence Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that they will have a good connection with their feelings. For long periods of time, they may find it hard to connect to how they feel. When they are unable to, they could end up feeling numb and as though they are disconnected from everyone and everything. Having this experience is likely to be anything but pleasant. Hooked One thing that they could do to try to bring themselves back to life is to drink or take something. Then again, they could engage in something that will give them an inner boost. Regardless of what takes place, something like this may happen on a regular basis. Yet, if they believe that the only other option they have is to feel dead inside, this is not exactly a surprise. Dependent If they don’t engage in something to change their inner world, their life could be unbearable. Thus, if the emotional pain within them comes up, they may need to do something to change their inner world or else they could end up being overwhelmed by how they feel. The drugs or alcohol or anything else could then be seen as the problem, but it won’t be the real issue. If their inner world was in a good place, they probably wouldn’t need to be hooked on anything like this. Another Area Along with this, they may be in a relationship with someone who they have a strong attachment to. Irrespective of whether this person treats them badly or not, one might believe that they can’t live without them. So instead of seeing their partner as a separate being, they could see them as another part of them. This is not to say that this is something that will go through their mind, as it could be something that is out of their conscious awareness. One Half is Missing If they are single, they could have a strong need to be with someone. One might not care what someone is like as their main priority will be to avoid being by themselves. As they are single it will be as if they are incomplete, which is why they will need to find someone else to complete them. In the same way that a drug or an activity, for instance, will push their pain down and bring them to life, another person will serve the same purpose. Too Much Due to the fact that they are unable to enjoy their own company, it might be a challenge for them to leave a relationship that is not healthy. Putting up with abusive behaviour can be seen as being far better than the alternative – being on their own pain. Another thing that they could do is have one casual encounter after another, with this being another way to make them feel alive. Shortly after they have had sex, it won’t be long until they will need to do find someone else. A Closer Look The question is why would someone look whole on the outside but feel as though something is missing on the inside? What this is likely to show is that their emotional development is way behind their physical development Not only is one going to be emotionally undeveloped, they are also going to be carrying a hell of a lot of emotional pain. This is likely to be the reason why they feel empty and as though something is missing or are overwhelmed with emotional pain. What’s going on? What this is likely to show is that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed during their early years in order to develop in the right way. This could have been a time when they had to fulfil their caregiver/s needs. Said another way, they would have had to behave like an adult at a stage of their life when they needed to have their needs met. As they were neglected, it would have meant that their developmental needs were overlooked and the pain of not having their needs met would have overwhelmed their system, setting them up to live on the surface of themselves. The Outcome Thanks to what took place, one wouldn’t have been able to develop a sense of self. They are only going to have two options in life: to avoid how they feel and feel empty or to embrace how they feel and end up being overwhelmed with pain. On the inside, one will look like an adult, but on the inside, they will feel like an abandoned child. To the emotional part of their being, it won’t matter how many years have passed. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. For them to emotionally grow up and to develop a sense of self, they will most likely need to work through the emotional wounds that are within them. One part of this will be for them to grieve their unmet childhood needs.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to whether someone does or doesn’t do something, it could typically depend on if it is right for them. In others words, they won’t have the inclination to do along with what other people are doing.
What this is likely to show is that they have a good connection with their needs and feelings. However, the connection that they have with themselves is not going to be the only thing that allows them to experience life in this way. Two Parts What will also play a part here is that behaving in this way is likely to be what feels safe. If one only had a strong connection to themselves but they didn’t feel safe enough to listen to themselves, their life probably wouldn’t be the same. So through being able to pay attention to the information that is inside them, they will live a life that reflects who they are. Thanks to this, their life is likely to be very fulfilling. The Only Way One way to look at this would be to say that this is how someone should live; after all, it is not as though other people know what is best for them. Thus, if they were to look towards others to tell them how they should live their life, it would set them up to lead a life that is anything but fulfilling. Nonetheless, while this is the case, it doesn’t mean that everyone will experience life in this way. There are likely to be plenty of people that are out of touch with their true essence. A Different Life When someone is out of touch with their needs and feelings, it will be normal for them to please other people. Doing what they can to do what other people want – along with what they think they want – is going to be their priority. Now, this doesn’t mean that they will never come into contact with their needs and feelings. Yet, even when they do, they could end up overlooking what is taking place inside them. A Momentary Boost Living in this way is not going to be very fulfilling, but pleasing others will most likely allow them to experience positive feelings. There could also be other ways for them to keep their true feelings at bay. For example, one could take or do something that will allow them to experience an artificial high. What this shows it that one is going to use a lot of their time and energy to keep what is taking place in their body at bay. Divided One is then going to have a head and a body, yet they are not going to have a strong connection with what is taking place in their body. In a way, it will be as if one has a big house but they only use a small part of it. Staying out of their body and living in their head is likely to be what feels comfortable. There is a strong chance that one has lived in this way for as long as they can remember. Confusion If one is in touch with their body, it can be hard for them to understand how someone could live in this way. Due to the fact that their body is connected to them, it could seem as though it would be impossible for them to lose touch with this part of their being. What this is likely to illustrate is that they have more or less always had a good connection with their body. In order for them to truly understand this, they would need to lose touch with their body. Way Back When one is out of touch with their body and therefore, finds it hard to connect with their needs and feelings, amongst other things, there is the chance that they have been this way for a very long time. If they were to become aware of how they experience life and they were to reflect on why they are this way, their mind could go blank. If so, there is the chance that what took place during their early years played a big part in why they are not an integrated human being. At this stage of their life, their true-self may have been completely disregarded. A Closer Look Maybe, they were brought up by caregiver/s that saw them as an extension of themselves, meaning that they were unable to see them as a separate being. This would have meant that they generally overlooked their needs and feelings. Being treated in this way would have been extremely painful, and leaving their body would have been the only way for them to handle this pain. Focusing on their caregiver/s needs would have been a matter of survival. Neglect This should have been a stage of their life when they received what they needed to develop in the right way. Instead, it was time in their life when they gradually lost touch with their body and experienced a lot of pain. One is then going to look like an adult, but on the inside, they can feel like a neglected child. The child within them is going to be carrying a lot of pain and there will be a lot of things that it wants to say. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Earlier on I was waiting in line for something and the person in front of me asked the cashier a question. They didn’t receive an answer, though, and this made them turn to me and say that they were being ignored.
A few seconds later, this person asked the cashier the same question and once again, they didn’t get a response. And just like before, they looked at me and said that they were being ignored. Black and white As far as this person was concerned, the cashier didn’t want to talk to them. Due to this, it was perfectly acceptable for them to get worked up and to raise their voice when they asked the question a second time. However, while this was as clear as day to them, I thought that there was a lot more to it. Firstly, the cashier wasn’t even that close to them, and secondly, there were people in front of them. Perception is reality Therefore, it would be more accurate to say that the reason why the cashier didn’t reply was because they couldn’t actually hear them. How this person responded had little to do with what was taking place externally and a lot to do with what was taking place inside them. One way of looking at this would be to say that part of them already felt ignored, with this part of them being brought up to the surface when they didn’t get the response that they wanted. But, as they were unable to realise this, they saw themselves as a victim and the cashier as the perpetrator. Emotionally Attached The trouble is that when someone is not aware of what is going on, they can end up playing out this same scenario over and over again. Each time they will blame another person for what is already taking place inside them. Their conscious mind can reject the idea that they already felt ignored, but their unconscious mind can feel comfortable with feeling ignored. To the deeper part of them, having this experience can be what is familiar and therefore what feels safe. A Closer Look During their early years, their caregiver/s may have had the tendency to ignore them. This probably would have caused them to feel angry, worthless and powerless, for instance, and it would have played a part in how they expected to be treated. Being treated in this way would have been painful, yet they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. At this stage of their life they would have resisted what took place, but as time passed, they would have come to unconsciously crave the same emotional experience. Final Thoughts If the person above did have an unconscious attachment to feeling ignored and they were to heal this wound, it would be easier for them to stay present in moments like this. When it comes to healing inner wounds, the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone is not in a relationship, they may find that they are generally settled. What this can mean is that they are rarely emotionally flat and are rarely overwhelmed by their emotions.
Being this way is naturally going to make it easier for them to function at their best and to enjoy life. If they were often emotionally flat or taken out by how they feel, it would be much harder for them to experience a fulfilling life. Balanced In general, it could be said that one won’t be controlled by their emotions and neither will they try to push them out of their awareness. As a result of this, the people in their life could see them as someone who is calm and emotionally in tune. Also, it might not be uncommon for others to open up to them about the challenges in their own life. This will come down to the fact that these people will know that one will be able to handle what they have to share. A New Beginning However, if they started to see someone, they may find that their inner world starts to change. It might not be a small change either, as they could have moments when they are very unstable. Due to how they were before, they may struggle to understand what is going on for them. Nonetheless, thanks to how strong these emotions are, it won’t be possible for them to carry on as normal. Early Days What may also confuse them is if they have only known this person for a short while; it is then not as if there is a reason for them to feel this way. It might seem as though the emotional part of them is out of control. This might not be as far as it will go as they could experience even more inner discomfort as the weeks and months go by. One could even get to the point where they wonder if they are with the right person. Conflict Part of them can then feel connect to their partner and appreciate their company, but another part of them can be having a very different experience. What they do next can all depend on how aware they are. If they lack a certain level of self-awareness, they might end up pulling away from their partner, seeing them as the problem. The discomfort inside them will been so strong that they were unable to listen to the other part of them. A Short-Term Solution Taking this route might allow them to gradually settle down again, but what it won’t do is allow them to experience a deeper connection with someone. So even if they do feel better, it won’t make up for the pain and even the regret that they will probably experience in the long-run. What they may find, if they were to start another relationship, is that the same thing happens all over again. If so, this may allow them to see that what is going on out there is not the issue. Staying With It Conversely, if one is able to take step back and not get caught up in how they feel, they may wonder why there is so much going on inside them. One thing that they could do is to speak to a close friend about what is going on for them. What this friend may tell them is that it sounds like emotional pain from their past has been brought up to the surface. The person they are with will have simply triggered what was already within them. An Analogy One way for one to understand what has taken place would be for them to imagine that a number of items have been frozen in ice. When the ice is frozen these items can’t be seen, but if the ice is melted, the items will become visible. Similarly, the emotions inside them were frozen in their body, and through experiencing another person’s warmth, this ice has started to melt. What this has done is started to release emotions that were stuck. Confusion Now, if someone believes that their thoughts create their feelings, it can be hard for them to accept this. What they may come to see is that this is not the complete truth, with their being far more to it than this. The emotional pain that is being unthawed, so to speak, can go back to what took place at the start of their life. What this will show is how long it has been in their body and that time alone won’t cause this pain to disappear. The Time Has Come One way of looking at what is taking place would be to say that one is ready to face this pain; if they weren’t, it wouldn’t have come up. It might then be hard for them to accept this as they are in so much pain, but this will be a time when they are being given the opportunity to become more whole and complete. This pain will have also had an effect on their resonance/vibration, and lot of energy would have been needed to keep it out of their awareness. Working through this pain will enable them to feel better, change their energetic imprint, and give them more energy. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to work though their pain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone is given a gift, it might be hard for them to accept what has been given to them. Instead of feeling happy about what they have received, they could end up feeling guilty.
Consequently, they may tell the other person that they can’t accept what has been given to them and offer it back to them. The other person could dismiss what they say and tell them that they want them to have it. Time to Change This might not be the first time that one has behaved in this way, and this may cause the other person to tell them that they need to learn how to receive. Upon hearing this, one might just even up feeling even worse. What could be on their mind is returning what they have received, so that they can feel better. No matter what they are given, it won’t be worth the emotional cost that they have to pay. Out of Balance One can then have the tendency to give other people things but they will do what they can to avoid receiving things from others. Yet, due to giving so much and being unable to receive, they may spend a lot of time running on empty. Said another way, they are going to be filling other peoples cup but they won’t allow other people to fill their cup. It is then going to be normal for them to suffer unnecessarily. An Irrational Response If another person gives them something, there is going to be no reason for them to feel guilty. Accepting what they are given probably won’t deprive another person of anything; if anything, it will fill them with happiness One is then going to need to look into why they experience guilt after they have been given something. If they were to do this, what they may find is that there was a time in their life when they were frequently made to feel guilty after they were given something. Early Years If this was during their early years, it may show that their caregiver/s were manipulative. So instead of giving them something and being visibly happy about it, they may have told them about how hard they had to work for it or that they had to go without to give it to them. Having something would then have meant that they deprived their caregiver/s and even other family members from having something. With all this weight attached to what they received, it is not going to be a surprise that it is hard for them to receive as an adult. Final Thoughts Through being treated in this way, there would have been the guilt and there may have even been shame. If they did experience shame, it would have come down to the fact that they would have felt as though they were inherently bad for accepting something. To be able to receive, they may need to question the beliefs that they formed during this stage of their life and they may have emotional work to do. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to think about what they would do if their car started playing up, it is unlikely that it would take long for their mind to come up with an answer. In this case, it would be pretty obvious what they would need to do.
It would be clear that they would need to take their car to a garage so that something could be done about it. There would be no need for them to get uncomfortable or to experience confusion. Another Example Alternatively, if one was to think about what they would do if they felt unwell, an answer could soon enter their mind. It is going to be no mystery as to what they would need to do to feel better. They may think about going to their doctor or they may think about taking something to take the pain away. Once again, they won’t need to worry too much about what is going on for them or to be filled with uncertainty. A Very Different Scenario However, if they were to think about what they would do if they were not in a good way emotionally, their mind could end up going blank. They may struggle to come up with a solution. Still, one could believe that it doesn’t matter anyway as they are not experiencing any emotional problems at this time. As a result of this, there will be no need for them to think too much about this. A The Right People Now, one may have a lot of good people around them, meaning that these people would be there if anything happened to them. Thanks to this, they will be able to afford to overlook this question. Even so, just because one does have good people around them, it doesn’t mean that they would be able to give one the assistance that they need if they did end up in a bad way. Most of these people could find that what one is going through is too much for them to handle. Business as Usual Due to the current state of their inner world, they will be able to put this question to one side and to carry on as normal. However, if this was to change, they might not have the time to look for answers. They could end up being in such a bad way that it is essential for them to do something more or less straight away. This is not to say that one should live in fear of having inner problems; what it comes down to is that it is a good idea for them to have an understanding of what approach they would take. A Key Part After all, their inner world is a big part of who they are; it is not as though it is something that they can simply cast aside. Thus, if something does happen, they might not be able to function anymore. So as it is an important part of who they are, it is naturally going to be a good idea for them to have a contingency plan in place. Ultimately, one cannot afford to be uneducated when it comes to this part of their being. One Option Of course, one could go to see their doctor if they end up in a bad way, which could be seen as the reason why they don’t need to look into what they would do. Someone out there is then going to solve what they are going through. This approach might work, but then again, they could simply end up being put on drugs or sent to see a behavioural therapist. Going on drugs could cause them to feel numb and they may end up experiencing other symptoms, and changing their thoughts and behaviour might not get to the bottom of what they are going through. Left Behind At this point in time, the help that is available from mainstream society is often inadequate when it comes to emotional problems. It could be said that this partly comes down to the fact that it is part of human nature to avoid pain. For many, many years, so many people avoided their emotional self, and this has caused this part to be overlooked. Therefore, as it has been neglected for so long, it is going to take a while for the system to provide the appropriate solutions. Personality Responsibility Nevertheless, if someone does end up in a bad way, they are not going to be able to wait until things change. Fortunately, there is a lot of information online about what someone can do if they are in this position. It will be essential for them to be curious, open-minded and teachable. And the good thing about this is that as their inner world is not in a bad way, they will be able to take their time. Awareness Not only can this information prepare them for what may or may not happen in the future, it can also allow them to assist a friend or a family member if they were to end up in a bad way. Investing a small amount of their time each week into this area can save them a lot of trouble in the long run. In addition to the information that can be found online, plenty of good therapists and healers can also be found.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Whilst I was reading a book about psychic protection, someone basically turned their nose up when they saw the cover. It was clear that this person believed that what I wasn’t reading anything worthwhile.
I didn’t think much of what they said and carried on reading the book. After a while, something took place that was bound to make this person question their view on this topic, if only for a few seconds. A Moment Later This person ended up being approached by someone and this caused them to pull back. They told me that there was something weird about the other person, which was why they responded in this way. I thought that it was strange that this took place just after they had dismissed what I was reading. Shortly after they had finished talking, I commented jokingly that this must show that they need psychic protection. An Important Barrier This person laughed when I said this and that was the end of it. What this experience exemplified for me is that someone doesn’t need to be hit or put down to by another person in order to be negatively impacted by them. One can be affected by other people’s thoughts and their feelings. And, the more sensitive someone is, the more chance there is of them being affected by what is going on for another person. A Common Term When someone has the tendency to drain other people of their energy, they can be called an ‘energy vampire’. Nonetheless, someone doesn’t need to be a full time energy vampire to take energy from others. Let’s say that someone is going through tough time due to losing a loved one, they can take a lot of energy from others. Being this way won’t be part of their nature, it will simply reflect where they are currently at. A Key Point One thing the book went into was how someone will be more likely to be drained by others if they have weak boundaries. This is because having good boundaries will not only allow someone to say no, they will also provide them with energetic protection. If someone has bad boundaries as an adult, it can show that their boundaries were not respected during their early years. Through being walked over by their caregiver/s, it would have stopped this energetic boundary from forming. Final Thoughts The book I was reading was ‘Psychic Protection’ by Judy Hall. Even though I haven’t read much of the book, I would say that it is perfect for someone who wants to learn more about this subject. If someone finds that their boundaries are weak, they may need to reach out for external support. By working with a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to work through their inner wounds and this can allow them to gradually develop strong boundaries.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Regardless of whether one is online or offline, they may find that it is not uncommon for them to get worked up about something. They could read or hear something and, before they know it, they could experience a strong emotional reaction.
When this takes place, it could take a little while until they are able to settle down again. At one point their inner world will have been settled and, at another, it will have been totally disrupted. Slightly Different Then again, their inner world might rarely be settled; meaning that when they hear or read something that has an effect on them, it will simply make them feel even worse. It will be as if they have a pain dial has been turned up even further. To go from feeling at peace to being disrupted is not going to be pleasant and neither is having their inner discomfort level turned up. One will then be on land but it can be as though they are on a small boat on the ocean that is being tossed around. Distracted When something does have a big effect on them, they may find that it is hard for them to concentrate on anything else. Thus, if they are at work at this happens, it could prevent them from having a productive day. If they are not at work when this happens, it could stop them from being able to enjoy their time off. What was meant to be a moment for them to relax will have tuned into a moment of high stress. Another Setting If this happens when they are with friends or family, it could lead to a big argument. Or, one could end up walking away from the interaction, creating the impression that they are not going to put up with anything like this. Something similar could also take place if they are a student, with them having the inclination to walk away from situations that have a negative effect on their inner world. It might not matter if they are in a lecture or at a social gathering as they could soon be off. Inner Disharmony What is clear is that if one has the tendency to get worked up by what they see and hear, their mental and emotional health is likely to suffer. In a way, it will be like they are in a boxing ring getting hit. The difference is that it won’t be their physical self that is being knocked around; it will be there mental and emotional self. The stress that they experience is not going to do them any favours. The Next Step Considering this, it will be a good idea for them to find a way to experience life differently. One thing that they could do is to do what they can to control what is said online and offline. If they do take this route they won’t be all by themselves, as there are going to be plenty of others that will be doing the same thing. When this takes place, one will be focused on changing what is going on externally as opposed to what is going on internally. The Cause This can show that one believe that what is going on externally is the reason why they are unable to feel at peace. Thanks to this outlook, it will be perfectly normal for them to focus on what is going on out there. One is then going to be nothing more than a powerless victim, while other people will have the ability to control how they feel. The sooner the external world changes, the sooner they will be able to settle down. Another Option Conversely, one may look into why the external world has such a big impact on their inner world. Through taking this approach, they will be taking responsibility for how they feel instead of blaming others. One can thing that will help with this is for them to develop the ability to observe their own mind, as will give them the ability to see what takes place internally when something has an effect on them. Taking this route will be harder in the long run, but will allow them to become more resilient and to empower themselves. A Deeper Look For example, if they were to read or hear something and this is followed by them experiencing a strong inner reaction, they could reflect on why this is and connect to their body. By doing this they may find that something from their past has been brought up to the surface. A memory and the emotional pain that goes with it may have been triggered by what they read or heard. It won’t matter how long ago something took place as their system will still be carrying the effects of what took place. Awareness In order for them to resolve what is taking place within them, they may need to reach out for external support. With the support of a therapist or a healer, for instance, one will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. The external support that they receive will allow them to work through their wounds and to become stronger in the process. Furthermore, by taking this route, there will be no need to for them to act like a mini tyrant by trying to control what other people can or can’t say.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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