If one can drive, they will know that they can either go forwards or they can go backwards; what they can’t do is to go in both directions at the same time. In the same way, one can either stay stuck in the past or they can embrace the present.
Therefore, in order for one to be able to live the kind of life that they want to live, it will be necessary for them to let go of the past. Now, this is not to say that they can’t think about the past from time to time; what it comes down to is that they can’t allow it to consume them. A Reminder When one has moments when they focus on the past, it could allow them to think about the good times they have had. Along with this, it can enable them to think about how they don’t want certain things to take place gain. What has happened can then be used to inspire them and it can remind them of how they want their life to be. It can then be seen as something that is there to support them as opposed to something that is there to hold them back. Normal If one can experience life in this way, it can be a sign that this is how they have been for most of their life. They may find that is most cases, it is relatively easy for them to let go. But if they have had moments where they have found it hard to live in the moment, it could be because something traumatic has occurred. For example, one may have experienced the end of a relationship, or a loved one may have passed on. A Momentary Experience However, after a certain amount of time has passed, they may have soon be able to live in the now. Still, this is not to say that they won’t have moments when fairly trivial moments won’t have an effect on them. Even so, they may find that they are soon able to let go of what has taken place and to carry on with their life. When one experiences life in this way, it can show that they are mentally and emotionally strong. Moving Forward Through having this strength, there will be no reason for them to get caught up in what has been and gone. And as they can do this, it could also be said that they have a certain level of self-awareness. As if this wasn’t the case, there would be a greater chance of them getting caught up in the past. One has the ability to see that holding onto the past won’t help them, and through having the strength to let go of the past, they can live in the moment. A Good Start When one has been this way for as long as they can remember, it can be due to what their childhood years were like. During these years, their developmental needs may have been met on a consistent basis. This would have allowed them to develop their mental and emotional strength, and this would make it a lot easier for them to be able to live in the moment. If, on the other hand, this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected, there is the chance that this wouldn’t be the case. Caught Up Instead, their early years would have set them up to experience a lot of mental and emotional pain, and it would then be a lot harder for them to live in the moment. Due to how painful these early years were, they would probably find that they can’t stop thinking about the past. One would then lack the strength that they needed and the awareness to see what is taking place. As a result of this, one would be enslaved to their past and it wouldn’t matter how much this was causing them to suffer. A Way Out This doesn’t mean that one wouldn’t have been able to do anything if their early years were not very functional, as there is the chance that they would have been able to do something about it. There are going to be plenty of people who are living examples of this. In order to achieve this, they may have had to develop their ability to observe their mind and to work through the pain that was within the. This would then have allowed them to gradually let go of who they were and to embrace who they are. Holding On Yet, even though one can have the need to let go of the past, it doesn’t mean that they are able to do so. They could find that even though this is holding them back, it has become part of their identity. One may then start to wonder who they would be if they were no longer identified with something (or a number of things) that took place a number of years ago. What took place will give their life meaning, and unless this changes, they will continue to sabotage their life. A New Identity It will then be important for one to realise that they can let go of how they see themselves without their life coming to an end. Not only will they still exist, but they will also be able to have a more fulfilling life. And it could be said that the sooner one is able to change their identity, the better their life will be. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this is something that will happen overnight, and this is because they may need to completely reinvent themselves. Awareness It can all depend on if parts of their life are going to plan or if their whole life has come to a halt. One may find that the assistance of a therapist may give them the support that they need to let of what is holding them back and to develop the strength that they need to function better in their day-to-day life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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When one comes across as having a caring manner, they can be seen as someone who is good to be around. The people who spend time around them are likely to appreciate how they respond to their worries and concerns.
There can also be how they respond in their chosen career, and this could mean that they are also appreciated in this area of their life. Through being this way, there is the chance that one is in a position where they assist others who are suffering in some way. The Helping Profession This could mean that one is a doctor or a nurse, or they may look after other people in another way. Perhaps one spends time caring for the elderly, or they may work with troubled youths. Having said that, they may be some kind of therapist or healer, and they will then focus on what is taking place in people’s body and/or mind. What this comes down to is that there are a number of ways that one can make a difference when they are this way. Alternatively However, one could also have a career where they don’t assist others in any of these ways, and this could be a sign that they are currently studying. It will then only be a matter of time before they are doing something that allows them to make the most of their caring nature. Yet if this is not the case, it could be because one doesn’t feel the need to live their life in this way. They may prefer to share this part of themselves in other ways, and this could still allow them to have the same effect on others. A Big Difference During the time when they are at work, they could come across people from all walks of life, and their behaviour could have a big effect. They could listen to what others have to say or simply acknowledge their presence. And this could cause them to go away feeling a lot better about themselves, or they might finally go after something that they have been putting off. If one not only listens to what others had to say but also shows their support, it could be said that these kinds of outcomes are to be expected. The Small Things As although it can seem as though it is only possible to make a difference through doing something significant, this is not the case. It is often the small things that people do for each other that have the biggest impact. This is why it doesn’t matter where one lives or how much money they have in the bank, for instance, they can still touch the lives of others. What matters is that they do what they can to make a difference. Relationships When it comes to their personal life, they could be surrounded by people who are pleased to have them in their life. They will know that one cares about them and that they are not going to go out of their way to treat them badly. This could mean that one is used to people opening up to them, and there may be times when they have to draw the line, so to speak. As if this didn’t take place, they would end up being weighed down by what other people are going through. Both Ways Yet as they are like this, there is a strong chance the people in their life behave in the same way. What they offer to these people is then going to be what they receive from them, and this may stop their relationships from being out of balance. Thus, one will be able to have their needs met and they won’t feel like they are some kind of caregiver. Being around these people will then have a positive effect on their well-being and they will give them support that they need to carry on behaving in the same way. Self-Compassion And when one treats other people with kindness, it could be said that they will treat themselves in the same way. This is because how they treat others is going to be a reflection of how they treat themselves. The voice inside their own head will generally be supportive and so they won’t be too hard on themselves if something doesn’t go to plan. It could be said that they will be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy. Another Experience Yet even though this might sound accurate, it is not always what takes place; instead, how one treats others can be the complete opposite of how they treat themselves. So if someone believes that one treats others is how they treat themselves, they are going to be in for a big surprise. But when this takes place, one could focus on how they treat others and that could be as far as it goes. Still, if they were to spend time with them, they may start to see that they don’t treat themselves very well. Walked Over One could have people in their life who take advantage of them, and they could find that they give more than they receive. Their needs are then going to be overlooked and the needs of others will take precedence. It will then be normal for one to feel drained and as though they are running on empty. The image they present to others is then going to be radically different to what is taking place within them. A Closer Look What this can show is that their early years were a time when they had to focus on their caregiver/s needs. Therefore, in order to survive, it would have been vital for them to behave like a caregiver. Their needs would then have generally been ignored and they may also have been abused in other ways. This would have set one up to feel worthless and they would have lost touch with their own needs. A Role How they behave towards others is then a false-self that they had to develop as a child to avoid being harmed and/or abandoned. It could be said that as they can’t be compassionate towards themselves, the compassion that they show towards others isn’t real; it is simply an act that they put on to receive other peoples approval. Awareness If they no longer needed other people’s approval and they felt safe enough to be themselves, how they treat others would be a reflection of how they treat themselves. Also, one might not want to do the same things anymore, and this is because how they behaved in the past didn’t reflect their true-self. If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, they may need to work with a therapist.
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There are a number of things that one can be told when it comes to being successful, and what they may have heard on more than one occasion is that they should never give up. This could be something they have heard from their finds and/or family, or they may even have heard it from someone else.
What this shows is how common this phrase is, and as it is so common, it can be normal for someone to agree with it. Yet even if this wasn’t the case, it could be said that there is no reason why one wouldn’t accept it. It’s not easy If one could achieve something without having to experience any setbacks, for instance, then this phrase would be meaningless. Everything would go to plan and there would then be no reason for them to give up. But as life is rarely this straight forward, it will be important for them to have the ability to keep going no matter what happens. One will need to overcome the challenges that arise as opposed to being put off by them. Growth This will then allow them to grow and to move forward in life, and this wouldn’t take place if they were to always give up. Instead of being able to move forward, they would stay in the same position. The years would then go by and the people around them may grow, but it would be as if their life is on hold. Their needs would then go unmet and it could be said that they will be wasting their life. The Outcome When one ends up in position where they find it hard to continue, they could focus on the reason/s why they started. This could then be a time when they will think about how their life will be once they have achieved their desired outcome. If this doesn’t have an effect on them, it could be a sign that they need to reach out for support. One is not their own island after all, and it will then be essential for them to spend time with people who can give them the support that they need. Another Factor However, if one focuses on their desired outcome and they still can’t get themselves back on track they may need to think about whether it really matters. It could show that they are trying to achieve something in order to please others. Whereas if they were doing something that reflected their own needs, they may find that it is easier for them to keep going. And if they have the moments when they feel like giving up, they may find that it is easier for them to get back up, so to speak. Two Choices Therefore, one is only going to have one option when it comes to being successful, and if they don’t keep going they will only regret it. What they want to achieve will be forever out of their reach, and this could then set them up to feel like a victim. But not only will they have to live with the consequences, there is the chance that they will also have to put up with what other people have to say. They could be only too happy to tell them why their life doesn’t change. Feedback Along with this, they could talk about how they have only been able get where they are through being persistent. This could then cause them up to talk about the times in their life when they have pushed through. And although this could be something they hear from their friends and/or family, it could also come from someone online. This could be someone who teaches self development, or they may just be in the public eye. Another Angle It could then be said that this is something that is black and white, and that one should never give up. Yet while there is no doubt that it is important for one to have the ability to keep going, there are also going to be times when it will be in their best interest to walk away. The reason for this is that it is not always going to be possible for them to achieve what they want to achieve. During these instances, they will be wasting their time and energy, and they even end up wasting a lot of money. Strength This is will then show that one has the ability to realise when something isn’t working, and this will allow them focus on something else. The alternative would be for one to keep their head down and to ignore the feedback they are receiving. Now, this may allow them to look strong in the eyes of others, but it will stop them from being able to walk away from something that is holding them back. As all the time they are trying to make something happen, they are not allowing themselves to embrace anything else. Attached What could stop one from being able to let go is when they have been doing something for a long period of time; after everything they have done, they could believe that they can’t just give up. Yet the longer one holds on the more time they will be wasting, and this time could be used to start something else. This is not to say that one will have to go through the whole process again, as they may find that it will be easier for them to move forward. But unless they let go, they won’t be able to find out, and there is also the chance that they will come back to it at a later date. Conclusion There are numerous examples of people who become extremely successful after they walked away from something that wasn’t working. If they didn’t do this, they might not have been able to achieve the same level of success. When it comes to walking away or carrying on, it could be said that this is something that one will need to decide. This doesn’t mean that they can’t listen to what other people have to say say; what it comes down to is that they are the ones who will have to live with the decision they make.
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When one spends time around people there are likely to be moments when they agree with what they hear. Along with this, there are also likely to be moments when this isn’t the case.
It could be said that this is part of life, and this is partly because they will have their own views. If they were to agree with everything that came out of another person’s mouth, it would probably show that they were unable to think for themselves. The Next Step When they agree with what they hear, they might let the other person know, or they might not feel the need to do anything. How they behave can all depend on what another person is talking about. For example, if someone was talking about something that was close to their heart, so to speak, they could feel the need to speak up. This could then be a time where one will show how passionate they are about this particular topic. A Different Outlook If they don’t agree with something, they could have the tendency to let other people know. This could be a sign that they are not someone who holds back in life, and they could even see themselves as being assertive. At the same time, they may generally prefer to keep their views to themselves, and it may then be hard for people to know whether they agree with them or not. Having said that, their behaviour could be defined by a number of different factors, and this will mean that they won’t have a fixed way of behaving. Open-Minded However, even when one doesn’t agree with something, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be willing to change their outlook. If they are presented with new information, for instance, they could be happy to agree with what is being said. In the same way, one may also be happy to change their outlook if they are in a position where they do agree with something. It is then not that they are easily led; it is that they have the ability to think critically. Closed Alternatively, one might hold onto their views, and it is then not going to matter what information they are exposed to. Other people could then see them as being closed minded or stubborn. Even so, one could believe that there is nothing wrong with their views, and it will then be natural for them to stand by them. And not only could this have a negative effect on their life, it could also have a negative effect on others. Another Experience As well as having moments when they agree with what they hear and moments when they don’t, they can also have moments when they feel offended. When this takes place, they are going to experience a strong reaction to what has been said. And not only can this take place when they are around others, it could also happen they when go online. Therefore, one won’t need to be around others in order for this to occur, and this could increase their chances of being offended. Emotional Beings It could be said that it is relatively normal for one to be annoyed or upset by what people say from time to time. This is part of having the ability to feel; if this wasn’t the case, one would simply be a passive observer. What they hear would then go over their head and it wouldn’t be possible for them to be affected by anything that takes place. This could be seen as the ideal way to experience life as one would be impervious, but at the same time, it would lead to a cold existence. One Approach Once one has been affected by something, they could take the time to reflect on what is taking place for them. This will then give them the opportunity to take responsibility for how they feel and the thoughts that are appearing in their mind. Through this, one could find that something from their past has been triggered, and they could then begin to settle down. At the same time, one could find that what has been said goes against one of their values. Speaking Up In this case, one may decide to talk about why they don’t agree with what has been said, and this may then lead to a discussion. Now, this may lead to a positive outcome or it might not get very far, but one will have taken the conscious approach. The alternative would be for them to see themselves as a victim, and to believe that the other person has harmed them. One can then come to the conclusion that they are right and the other person is wrong. The Moral High Ground It is then similar to what would take place if one was physically harmed by another person, and how this would mean that they have been wronged. However, the only thing it is likely to mean is that another person has said something and they have experienced a strong reaction. If they were to elevate themselves to a superior position, it would be the same as them walking into a door and then blaming the door for harming them. Ultimately, they chose to walk into the door and so they need to take responsibility for what has happened. A Choice In the same way, if one ends up feeling offended it is because they have chosen to be offended. Yet if they are not aware of what is taking place within them, they will believe that it is due to what someone has said. What this emphasises is how important self-awareness is, as this will make it easier for one to take responsibility for what takes place within them. There will then be no need for them to control what other people say and this will stop them from trying to eradicate free speech.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If someone was asked why they use social media, they may say that it’s because it allows them to stay in touch with their friends. It could be said that this is not much of a surprise, and this is because this is how social media is often portrayed.
One of these sites has even promoted themselves in the real world, and this took place to show how people can use their site to connect to their friends. So after seeing this, it may have caused a number of people to finally create a profile. A Reminder However, as so many people use social media, there is a strong chance that most of the people who saw the advert already use it. In fact, they may have been using it whilst they saw the advert. The advert would then have been a reflection of what they were already doing, or it may have caused them to go online. And as long as one has some kind of device, they can use it no matter where they are. It’s Simple It is then not going to take a lot of effort for them to stay up to date with what their ‘friends’ are doing. The only thing they will need to do is to browse through their wall, or to send them a message. But as most people share what they have been doing on their wall, they may only need to send a message during certain times. For example, if they have something personal to talk about, they could send them a private message. Two Ways The same approach could also be taken by the people on their ‘friends’ list, and this will then stop one from receiving too many messages. Yet if they wanted to reach out to someone, they could ‘like’ what they have shared or comment on their status. Therefore, one won’t need to put in a lot of effort and neither will the people who stay in contact with them. This is can then appear to be the ideal scenario, and this is partly due to how ‘busy’ people are in today’s world. Private Message Nevertheless, even if one was to send a few privates messages from time to time, it is not going to take much time or energy. Through doing this, it will allow them to get a better understanding of how one of their ‘friends’ has been spending their time on this earth. There is also the chance that this will have a greater impact than if they were to simply ‘like’ or comment on what someone shares. The reason for this is that one will be putting in more effort, and the other person is likely to realise this. No Short Cuts What this demonstrates is that relationships need the right nutrients in order to exist; if they don’t receive these things, they will soon die off. So although it is easy to believe that social media allows people to maintain their relationships without putting in a much effort, it could be said that this is not the complete truth. It might be more accurate to say that social media can allow one to keep a relationship alive, but that can be as far as it will go. In order for one to have a real relationship with someone, they will need to put in a certain amount of effort. Face-To-Face Contact This is one of reasons why social media can’t replace real life interactions; the only thing it can really do is to complement them. Now, if one has a friend or family member who is in another part of the country, for instance, then they won’t have much choice. Yet when it comes to the people who live nearby, it will be important for them to spend time with them. Not only will this have a positive effect on the relationship, it will also have a positive effect on their well-being. Missing Out Thus, while one can believe that they will be missing out when they don’t use social media, they can also miss out by using it. What they miss out on when they don’t use it can pale in significant to what they miss out on when they use it. Ultimately, it is all about moderation, and through having this understanding one can make sure that it doesn’t undermine their life. And when one spends time with someone in the real world, it will allow them to pay attention to how they feel around them and what kind of connection they have. A Difference Experience However, when one uses social media, it is not going to be passable for this to take place. As a result, one could see someone as a ‘friend’ online but if they were to see them in the real world, they could walk straight passed them. Or even if they were to talk to them, they may soon feel the need to get away from them. What this comes down to is that one can see someone as a friend based on what has taken place between them in the past and not because of what has recently occurred. An Illusion One could then be in a position where they have hundreds or even thousands of friends, but if they were to meet each of these people in the real world they might soon realise that this is not the case. Yet without even going this far, one could be talking to someone online who they have known for quite some time and the same thing could occur if they were to meet them in person. Conclusion When one uses social media, it can be easy for them to waste time, and this time could be used to enhance their life. For one thing, they could spend less time talking to their ‘friends’ online and more time developing relationships that will actually fulfil their needs.
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If someone wanted to change one area of their life or a number of areas, it could be said that it would be a good idea for them to find people who are successful. Through doing this, they will be able to listen to what they have to say and this will give them the chance to experience life differently.
Relatively Easy This is not to say that one will need to go and find them in the real world though, as they can find people like this online. Due to the internet, it is has given people the opportunity to find out about things without needing to go anywhere. Therefore, it is not going to be necessary for them to go and find someone who has achieved what they want to achieve. If they were to do this it could end up taking them a while, but if they were to go online it could only take them a few seconds. The First Step However, if they are unable to find what they are looking for, it is likely to be a sign that they are searching for the wrong thing. In this case they will need to use different words, and then before long, they should soon be on their way. During this time, they could come across a number of different articles and videos. And if what they find online is not enough to quench their thirst, then they will be able to buy books that talk about what they want to know. Pumped Up If they are not already fired about achieving something, it might only be a matter of time before they are. The reason for this is that they are likely to come cross information that tells them that ‘anything is possible’. Or if they don’t come cross this, then they are bound to come across something that is similar. Thus, one could go from feeling completely hopeless to feeling as though there are no limits to what they can achieve. One Extreme to Another This is then similar to how someone can be criticised by others and feel completely worthless, or receive compliments from them and feel as though they are on top of the world. Their mental and emotional state will have gone from one side of the spectrum to the other. How they feel is then going to give them the motivation that they need to move forward, or if they are already motivated they could end up having even more energy. As a result of this, one could come to believe that they are on the right track. Two Options When it comes to the information that they consume, it could relate to people who teach other people how to be successful or to people who are successful. Therefore, this could mean that these people will have books and courses to sell, for instance, or they could influence people through sharing quotes and statuses on social media. And if one was to experience doubt during this time, they could simply say to themselves that these people have made it. Based on this, there is going to be no reason for them to scrutinize what these people come out with. An Example There is the chance that they will come across at least one person who will talk about what they have achieved, and how this proves that anyone can do it. They could then talk about how their life began and setbacks they have overcome. At the same time, they could come across someone who has just achieved something significant in their life. This person is then likely to be caught up in how they feel and the advice they give can end up being a reflection of that. Sound Advice One way of looking at this would be to say that it will be essential for one to pay attention to what these people say. Through listening to what they have to say and then applying it to their own life, they will gradually be able to achieve what they have achieved (or a similar level of success). Another way of looking at this would be to say that this simply proves that this person has what it takes, and just because they have been able to do it doesn’t mean that everyone else can. But if someone is in an emotionally charged state when they write something, then it is to be expected that they will come out with things that have no basis in reality. Boundaries When someone comes out with something like this, it could be said that it shows that they lack boundaries. The reason for this is that they are projecting their reality onto other people, and this then stops them from realising that other people are not an extension of them. If they had boundaries, they would be able to see that their reality is not the same as everyone else’s reality. Thus, even though they can achieve something, it doesn’t mean that everyone else can. Athletics If one of the fastest athletes in the world won a race and then said that this proves that anyone can do it, it is unlikely to have much of an effect on people. This is primarily because most people would realise that this is someone who has something that most people don’t have. However, when it comes to success, it is not uncommon for people to put their thinking brain to one side and to believe everything they hear. Now, this is not to say that people who are successful have nothing to offer; what it comes down to is that this is not something that is black and white Other Factors As while it is easy to believe that it is possible to achieve something through behaving in a certain way, there are other factors involved. What can make it harder to realise this is that people are more likely to talk about their success. Whereas when one isn’t successful, they can and up keeping it to themselves, and they are also less likely to write a book about it. This can then cause people to have a false sense of hope, and they can then end up feeling even worse than they felt before. Letting Go When success is seen as something that takes place when one behaves in the right way, it doesn’t take into account the forces that are out of ones control. Also, this approach could be seen as being out of balance, as it is all about will power as opposed to going with the flow. This is not to say that one should simply sit around doing nothing; what it emphasis is that one is not in control of everything. It has been said that each one of us is here to achieve certain things, and so if this is the case it is to be expected that some people will be able to achieve things that other people can’t. Awareness It can be easy for one to lose touch with their own needs and to get caught up with what other people are doing, and this can make them want to achieve things that are not truly important to them. And through focusing on the need to be successful, it can also stop one from being able to be present. So when it comes to being successful, it might be better for one to pay attention to people who are successful but not to get too caught up in what they have achieved. This will then inspire them on one hand and it will allow them to stay grounded on the other.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
In order for someone to experience intimacy, it will be important for them to open up to others. However, this is not to say that they should simply open up to anyone, and this is because doing so would lead to problems.
When one opens up to another they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position, and this is why they need to be careful who they open up to. If on the other hand, one had the tendency to open up to anyone, they may be used to be harmed. For Example If one owned a house or an apartment, for instance, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t just let anyone inside. This is going to be somewhere where that is important to them, and so it will be vital for them to look after it. As a result of this, they are only going to let certain people in, and this will make it easier for them to protect their property. Yet if they were to simply let anyone in, they would be setting themselves up to experience unnecessary problems. A Selection Process Before they let someone in they may have spent time getting to know them, or if this doesn’t happen, it could be a sign that they represent a company. When it relates to the latter, it could be said that someone else will have taken the time to find out what they are like. Similarity, before one opens up to another, they can also take the time to find out what they are like. If they come to see that they can open up to them, then there will be no reason for them to hold back. Resistance If they were to hold back, it could show that it is due to what is taking place within them, and it then might not matter who they are around. How other people behave is then going to be irrelevant as their own limits will stop them from being able to open up. There is the chance that one has always been like this, and it could then be due to how they were treated during their early years. The past is then sabotaging their present, and the sooner they do something about it the better their life will be. Another Option However, if one was to open up to another without taking the time to get to know them, it doesn’t mean that they are making a mistake. What it could show is that part of them senses that it is safe for them to do so. This could mean that one is in touch with their intuition, and this will then allow them to make faster decisions. Even so, this is not to say that they will always make the right decision, but having this ability is likely to be a real asset. Connected And when one can open up to the right people, their life is going to be far more fulfilling that it would be if this wasn’t the case. Sharing the deeper parts of themselves will allow them to experience a greater connection with others. Along with this, certain people will also open up to them in the same way, and this will allow them to have relationships that are in balance. They will open up and be heard, and the people who open up to them will also be heard. An Act Still, although some people can create the impression that other people can open up to them, it doesn’t mean that this is the complete truth. In the beginning, they can come across as though they are supportive, but as time passes, this can soon change. Their behaviour is then going to be different to someone who doesn’t put on an act, and acts this way from the start. On the plus side, one won’t be lulled into a false sense of security, and this could then stop them from having to suffer unnecessarily. Normal Nevertheless, one could be in a position where they are used to being around people who put them down when they open up. Therefore, they could have met people who were happy to listen to what they had to say at one point in time and then changed as time passed. Or they may have been this way from the start, and one could wonder why they are still in their life. They could find that they are used to feeling powerless and as though they have no control over their life. Comfortable At a deeper level, there is the chance that this is what feels comfortable, as if this wasn’t the case, they would no longer put up with people who are like this. One could find that they feel worthless, and this will then be why they believe that they deserve to be treated badly. Thus, unless they start to change what is taking place within them, they will continue to tolerate what is taking place around them. On the other hand, there is also going to be what the people are going through who are unable to empathise with them. Self-Hate When one is unable to empathise with another when they open up and they end up criticising them in some way, it is likely to show that they also feel worthless. The difference is that they may be generally out of touch with how they feel about themselves. During the beginning of their life, they may have been criticised whenever they opened up, and this would then have caused them to close up. They may have also come to believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. A Reminder This can then set one up to identify with their perpetrators/s, and this is because it will give them a sense of control. If they don’t take on this role, they will believe that they will be taken advantage of again. So through being stuck in the past, they will treat others in the same way that they were treated. One way of looking at this would be to say that it will be a form of indirect revenge. Awareness But while this will allow them to get an emotional else, it is not going to have a positive effect on their relationships. They will hide their true-self and they will cause other people to hold back, or they could end up pushing people away. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist.
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When a politician has the desire to get into a certain position, they can end up looking towards different celebrities. And while some of these might be known by people who fall into a certain age group, for instance, there can be others who will be known by people of all ages.
Therefore, it could be said that when someone is well-known by people of all ages, they are going to have a lot of influence. Still this is not to say that these kinds of celebrities will be the only ones that matter, as they are all going to have the ability to influence others. Another Approach Having these celebrities by their side will then allow a politician to have a bigger effect than they would have if they had other people by their side. For example, if they were to go out and to recruit some of the best minds in the country to endorse them, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t do as well. This partly comes down to the fact that most people won’t know who they are, and this will then mean that they won’t respond in the same way. It then won’t matter if the people they have found are highly intelligent and know what they are talking about. One Area Along with aligning themselves with celebrities that are well-known, they can also make sure that the people they have by their side are respected by a certain race. Through doing this, they will believe that it will cause people of a certain race to vote for them. This can also take place by having someone who is respected by a certain sex, and having someone who represents a certain religion. If they can find people who tick all these boxes (and many others), then it will be ever better. Who Cares? One way of looking at this would be to say that it is completely irrelevant who endorses them; what matters is what they stand for. When one has this outlook, it could show that they have the ability to think critically. However, although celebrity endorsements shouldn’t have an effect on who people vote for, it doesn’t mean they don’t have an effect. This is something that politicians realise and they take advantage of it. Point of Focus When someone likes a celebrity and this celebrity is endorsing a certain politician, they can end up voting for them. It is then similar to how one can allow someone into their house if a friend has told them that they are ok. One trusts their judgement and so they are willing to go along with what they say; if they didn’t trust them, this wouldn’t take place. In the same way, people can look up to a certain celebrity and they can then end up doing what they do. Switched Off What this can then show is that their thinking brain will have been put to one-side and they will be operating from their emotional brain. Yet even though this can be seen as the wrong approach to have, it doesn’t mean that everyone will be able to come to the same conclusion. For one thing, there are going to be plenty of people who will believe that a certain celebrity is perfect, and there will then be no reason to question then. It then won’t matter what they do for a living, as they will be seen as someone who knows just about everything. It’s Easy This is then going to make it a lot easier for a politician to take the next step in their career through having their support. And if these people were to come across information that portrays a politician in a negative light, they could end up ignoring it. The reason for this is that if they were to take a closer look into something, it could cause them to develop a negative outlook towards the celebrity they look up to. So in order to maintain the idealised image that they have formed in their mind, it won’t be possible for them to face reality. Intention But even if someone isn’t affected in this way by a celebrity, it can still be a challenge for them to think clearly. It could then be said that certain politicians are not interested in helping people; the only thing they are concerned about is increasing their own power. If this related to an area of life that doesn’t have much of an effect on people, it could be said that it wouldn’t matter. But as this relates to something that can have a massive effect on others, this is not something that should be overlooked. A Cover Up It is then as if certain politicians are treating something that is incredibly important as if it is simply a game. Their own needs (and the needs of the people behind the scenes) can then take precedence, and the needs of the people can end up being ignored. And through surrounding themselves with well-known people, it can enable them to hide their true intentions. While so many people will be focused on their favourite celebrity/s, it can allow a politician to make sure that certain things don’t make it into the public eye. Conclusion Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether a celebrity supports a politician; what matters it what they stand for. As even though it can seem as though a celebrity supports them for what they stand for, it is highly likely that they are simply being paid to do it. On top of this, they might not even have taken the time to look into what they stand for, but even if they have, it doesn’t mean they have taken a deeper look. They are likely to have different needs to the average person, and so it could be said that they will be out of touch with how most people experience life.
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When someone has the desire to assist others, they can end up taking the next step. At the same time, they can also experience inner conflict, and this can then stop them from taking action.
In this case, one could believe that every area of their life needs to be going in the right direction. And so as this is not the case, they are going to stop themselves from taking action. Moving Forward It is going to be relatively easy for someone to take the next step when they don’t have this outlook. This doesn’t mean that this stage will be completely straight forward, as they could find that it pushes them to the limit. However, through doing this, it will only be a matter of time before they will be able to achieve their goal. This could mean that one will want to assist people in every area of their life, or they may want to focus on a certain area. Training They could get the training they need by going to university, or by taking some kind of course. Therefore, it could be a matter of months or even years before they are ready to assist others. But as they are doing something that matters, there is a strong chance that they will be more than happy to wait. During this time, certain doubts could also arise, and they will be able to work through them. A Balanced Outlook When one takes action, they could believe that it is not necessary for them to have their whole life in order. Or they could believe that they only need to have the one area sorted; with this being the area that they want to assist others in. Through having this outlook, they won’t weigh themselves down with unnecessary pressure, and this will allow them to use their energy in a constructive manner. It could then be said that they have the right approach, and this is because they are only human. Challenges They may have overcome a number of things already, and this will then have given them something that can’t be bought. Along with this, they are likely to have the traits that are needed in this kind of work. For example, one thing they are likely to have is the ability to empathise with others. They may find that people often recognise this ability in them, and they may have noticed that not everyone has the same level of empathy as they do. Born To Do It In fact, one may even feel as though this is what they came here to do; it is then going to be something that they can’t overlook. The training they get will then add to what they already have to offer. If this wasn’t the case, one could get the right training and they might not have the right personality to do it. What this emphasises is that there is two sides to this, and that it is not just about having the right training. Belief Thus, when one has the ability to assist others in this way and they are able to take the next step, they will be able to fulfil their purpose. What this shows is how important it is for someone to believe in themselves. When they are unsure of whether they have what it takes, it is not going to matter if they have the ability to assist others. One will then know what their purpose is, but that will be as far as it goes. Two Sides This will then cause one to suffer unnecessarily and the sooner they change their outlook the better their life will be. Along with this, it is also going to stop other people from benefiting from the support that they have to offer. There could still be moments when they do offer their support, but it is not going to be the same as it would be if they were to fulfil their purpose. And while they may wonder if they have what it takes, they could also believe that they need to be perfect. A Closer Look This could be a sign that they believe that the people who do assist others have it all together. On one side, it could be said that they have an idealised image of them, and on the other side, it could also be said that this is due to how some people come across. For example, when someone assists others they can act as though they are above other people. Through coming across these people, one can believe that they also need to be at this level before they can be there for others. Inner World When one sees other people as being perfect and/or when they feel the need to be perfect, it could be said that they have low self-esteem. The way they perceive themselves is then stopping them from being able to move forward. The way they see themselves could be the result of what has occurred in their adult years, or it may be the result of how they were treated as a child. Either way, it is going to be essential for them to deal with what is taking place within them. Awareness If one can relate to this and they are no longer willing to sabotage their life, they may need to work with a therapist. This can be a time where they will work through their limits, and this will then allow them to finally begin to fulfil their purpose.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of ways in which someone can see themselves, and while some of these ways are empowering there are others that are not. For example, if one was to see themselves as someone who is successful, it is likely to have a positive effect on their life.
However, if they were to see themselves as someone who is not successful, it is likely to have a negative effect. Still, if one was saw themselves in this way and then started to change their life, it could be said that they are simply facing reality. The First Step Through being able to acknowledge how their life is, it will gradually allow them to do what they need to do to see themselves differently. But if they were to see themselves as someone who is successful when this is not the case, they would simply be in denial. Their life wouldn’t improve and there is also the chance that it would end up getting even worse. And even though they will be able to ignore their reality from time to time, there will also be times when they have to face the truth. Another Outlook At the same time, one could be in a position where they see themselves as a victim, and this means that it will have become their identity. One way of looking at this would be to say that this will end up holding them back in life. This is primarily because one is likely believe that the world is against them, and that their life never goes how they want it to go. What this is going to show is that one will feel as though they have no control over their life. Powerless It is then going to be normal for them to believe that they can’t do anything to change their life. As a result of this, it is not going to going to be possible for them to move forward and to achieve their goals. It could be said that this will lead to a frustrating existence, and the sooner one starts to change their outlook the better their life will be. Clearly, their life won’t change overnight, but it will change as long as they keep going. Feedback When they meet people for the first time, they could find that it is not uncommon for them to receive positive feedback. During this time, they could empathise with what one is going through, and they could give them advice on how to turn their life around. Yet if these people were to spend more time with them, there is a strong chance that they would soon start to lose their patience. They could come to the conclusion that one doesn’t want to change, and they could see them as an attention seeker. Energy Thus, in order for them to look after their own wellbeing, they will do what they can to avoid them. The people they are drawn to are likely to be people who take responsibility for their life, and this will have a positive effect on their life. Their energy is then not going to be wasted on people who are not interested in changing their circumstances. And as we end up like the people we spend most of our time with, it could be said that there will be no reason for them to spend time around these kinds people. Black and White Based on this, it could be said that there is going to be no reason for someone to act like a victim. Ultimately, it is not going to have a positive effect on their life, and so the sooner they create a new identity the better. However, what this overlooks is the fact that there are many benefits to being a victim, and this is why there can be no reason for someone to change. As if this wasn’t the case, then there would be no reason for them to have a victim mentality. A Deeper Level If one was able to get in touch with why they view themselves in this way, they may find that it is what feels comfortable. They may wonder who they would be if they had a new identity, and this means that it is seen as who they are. There is then the chance that there was a time in their life when they were a victim (this could have been during their early years), and this then have meant that it wasn’t safe for them to embrace their personal power. So although they are no longer a child, they can still believe that they have to stay powerless in order to survive. Playing the Victim Through disconnecting from their own power, it then set’s them up to victimise themselves as opposed to being victimised by others. If one is out of touch with why they experience life in this way they will feel like a victim, but if they were to realise why this is taking place they would see that they are allowing this to happen. Nevertheless, not only will this be what feels comfortable, it will also allow them to receive a lot of approval. They can end up receiving a lot of attention from people in their personal lives, and from people on social media, for instance. Support If one was to go online, they could end up aligning themselves with other people who also have the same mentality. Through doing this, it will give them a sense of control, and they may even end up receiving special rights or privileges. Ergo, playing the victim can allow them to receive what they want in an indirect manner. This doesn’t mean that people or organisations will give them things because they believe that they are a victim; what it can come down to is that they don’t want to look bad, or that they feel guilty. Awareness It doesn’t take much effort to see how far people can go in today’s world by having a victim mentality. A lot has been said about how certain university courses set people up to see themselves as victims, and this can then show that a certain agenda is being carried out. If one has a victim mentality and they want to embrace their personal power, they may need to work with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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