There are some people who believe that the whole world is against them, while there are others who have a slightly different outlook. When it comes to the latter, someone will have at least one area of their life where they feel powerless.
However, if another area of their life started to falter, they could end up coming to the conclusion that the whole world is against them. How they feel is then going to depend on what is taking place around them. A Way of Life When someone believes that the whole world is against them, they are going to be used to experiencing setback after setback. Instead of having the Midas touch, where everything they touch will turn to gold – just about everything they touch will go wrong. The people who they spend time with might describe them as being ‘unlucky’ or ‘unfortunate’ in life. These people will be only too aware of how much pain they have gone through and how their life rarely goes how they want it to go. One Area If they have been able to move forward in their career, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to recognise this. Each day could be filled with one issue after another, causing them to feel as though they have no control. Regardless of whether it relates to the people above them or below them, for instance, there may always be some kind of drama for them to deal with. It is then going to be hard for them to feel empowered and as though they are respected at work. Stuck At the Bottom But, if they haven’t been able to climb up the ladder, so to speak, they may be in a position where they find it hard to stick to a job. They may have had to leave a number of jobs in order to get away from at least one person who made their life a misery. In each of these cases, a manger or a colleague may have had in for them. Not only would this have undermined them, it would have caused them to experience a lot of unnecessary stress. Personal Relationships And although they may have people in their life who are supportive, there may also be people who are not. Leaving a job, or even an area, to get away from people who appear to be hell bent on making their life a misery is not going to be enough. These people may have the tendency to be verbally and even physically abusive, which could make them feel as though their life is under threat. If they were to look back on their life they may see that they have let go of people like this, only to end up meeting the same kinds of people. The Answer There may also have been moments when they met someone who acted one way in the beginning and changed as time went by. At first they may have created the impression that they would save them, but as time passed, they ended up victimising them. It might seem as though the only way their life will change is if the people around them change. They will be powerless to do anything about their life, whereas other people will have all the power. The Common Denominator Interestingly, although they may believe that they have no power, they will be the person who keeps showing up. Therefore, to say that they are a victim would be tantamount to saying that someone who is successful is simply lucky. In both of these cases, someone will be doing things that cause them to experience a certain outcome. The difference is that while the person who is successful is likely to be aware of the part that they are playing, the person who isn’t is likely to be completely oblivious to the part that they are playing. Two Levels If they were able to detach from their mind and to get in touch with what is taking place in their body, they may start to get an idea of why their life is the way that it is. Deep down, they may feel powerless, and this could be what feels safe. Experiencing life in this way is going to cause them to suffer, but at a deeper level it will benefit them. What this may show is that there was a time in their life when they were abused in some way, with this being a time when it wasn’t safe enough for them to assert themselves and to fight back. The Law of Resonance If they had stood their ground during this time, it probably would have caused them to be harmed even more. They would have been a helpless victim at this time in their life and this is why playing the role of a helpless victim is what will feel safe now. The feelings, thoughts, beliefs and trauma that are within them will define how they experience life. The energy that they give off will define what they can and can’t attract, which is why it will be vital for them to clean their inner world up. Awareness Whether they live the life of a victim or an empowered being is up to them – it all depends on if they are ready to change their life. If they are ready, the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be necessary.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Emotions are often seen as an inconvenience - as things that do more harm than good. And, when someone has this outlook, they are likely to experience a lot of ‘negative’ emotions.
Consequently, they may alternative between being overwhelmed by how they feel and disconnecting from how they feel. Just being with how they feel is going to be a challenge for them. The Ideal If they had the tendency to feel good, there would be no reason for them to have this outlook. But, through having experienced so much emotional pain, it will have caused them to believe that the emotional part of their nature doesn’t benefit them. Removing this part of their nature may be seen as something that would allow them to finally experience life differently. There is the chance that they will spend time with other people who have a similar viewpoint. The Forgotten Area Someone like this might know how to cook wonderful meals or to manage a large company, for instance, yet they won’t know a great deal about their emotions. The understanding that they have of their own emotions will be no better than their understanding of what it would be like to live on another planet. However, this doesn’t mean that someone like this is the exception in today’s world. In many ways, the kind of relationship that they have with their emotions is simply a consequence of living in the modern-day world. The Defining Factor The type of relationship that someone has with their own emotions is usually the result of what took place during the beginning of their life. So, if someone’s early years were a time when their needs were generally met, they are likely to have a healthy relationship with their emotions as an adult. On the other, if this was a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met, they probably won’t have a healthy relationship with their emotions as an adult. There are exceptions, of course, as someone can develop a healthy relationship with their emotions as an adult even if they didn’t get what they needed as a child. No Correction Throughout someone’s time in the education system, it is unlikely that they would have been given any guidance on their emotions. The years would then have gone by and the pain within them may have got even worse. And, if they were to go to their doctor, they may end up being put on some kind of medication or referred to a behavioural therapist, for instance. The first option probably won’t allow them to gain a better understanding of what is going on within them and the second option might not be a lot better. A Common Point of View When it comes to the behavioural approach, one can end up coming to believe that their thoughts always define how they feel. The way to control how they feel will then be to control how they think. Being mindful of what takes place in the head and choosing to think the right thoughts may work, then again, it might not have much of an impact. At this point, they may start to wonder if their thoughts always control how they feel or if this is simply a half-truth. Two Parts What the approach above ignores is that while what is going on up top can define how someone feels in their body, what is going on in someone’s body can also define what is taking place up top. Said another way, it is a two-way system, and what is going on down below can have a far greater effect on someone’s life that what is going on up top. This is why the body has been seen as the unconscious mind, as it is where someone keeps the parts of themselves that they don’t want to face – their shadow. Trauma and emotional pain is stored in the body. Emotional Wounds What has taken place during someone’s adult years will have played a part when it comes to the emotional pain that is in their body, but what took place when they were growing up is likely to have played an even bigger part. One way of looking at the pain in their body is to see it as being the result of the many different selves/split-off parts that they are carrying. These selves will be crying out to be heard and acknowledged; the last thing they want is to be ignored or controlled. And although these selves won’t reflect their true-self, they can end up taking over. A Mater of Survival The reason they have so many wounded selves within them is likely to be because they were unable to handle the pain they experienced as a child. Each time they felt overwhelmed, they would have had to disconnect from how they felt and to push it out of their awareness. They wouldn’t have had the ability to handle how they felt at this age and no one would have been there to support them, so this would have been the only option available. This would have been a defence mechanism that their mind used to ensure that their life didn’t come to an end. Surrendering In most cases, these split-off parts are likely to exist due the fact that their caregivers were unable to be present when they were younger. This is why presence is what will allow these parts to be integrated, thereby allowing them to function as a whole human being and to express their true-self in the process. Thus, this is not about someone trying to force or to change anything; it is about acknowledging these selves/parts and allowing them to speak out. They may have numerous different selves within them, which is why this is not something that will happen overnight. Awareness This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. What this will also do is allow them to develop a better relationship with their emotions and to feel more at peace.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It is often believed that self-esteem is the defining factor when it comes to how someone experiences life. So, if someone has a good amount of it there life will be fulfilling; whereas if they don’t their life won’t be.
On one side will be someone who is living a life that is deeply rewarding, while on the other will be someone who is simply going through the motions. One of them will be living in heaven and the other will be living in hell. A Snapshot A person with a good amount of self-esteem will most likely have the tendency to feel good about themselves, to go after their dreams, to have people in their life who are supportive, and to look after their body, for instance. Ultimately, they will be their own best friend, and this is why they won’t undermine themselves. Still, that’s not to say that they will never have a ‘negative’ thought or feeling; what it means is that they won’t have the inclination to get caught up in any negativity that arises within them. This will allow them to use most of their energy to move forwards and to make their life better. A Bleak Existence A person with no self-esteem – or a minimal amount – will most likely have the tendency to feel bad about themselves. Not only this, they probably won’t go after their dreams, their life may be full of people who try to bring them down, and they might neglect their health. They are then not going to be their own best friend and this will open them up to being undermined by other people. If they do feel good about themselves, it probably won’t be long until this emotional experience soon passes. Wasting Energy The energy that they could use to improve their life will be channelled into doing just about everything they can to make their life harder. Thus, even if the negative people in their life were to disappear, they would still have to put up with their own negativity. With this in mind, it will be essential for them to do whatever they can do improve their self-esteem. In the same way that energy will enable a phone to function after it has run out; self-esteem will be what will allow them to function at their best. One Part It is undoubtedly important for someone of feel good about themselves; feeling bad all the time won’t do them any favours. But, it would be inaccurate to say that self-esteem is the only ingredient that is needed in order for someone to live a fulfilling life. Another vital component will be for someone to feel as though it is safe enough for them to exist. If this isn’t in place, it can be more or less impossible for them to express who they are on this planet. A Relationship This is tantamount to how a car won’t be able to go anywhere unless the wheels are functioning. If the wheels are all working and the tires are pumped up, the car will be able to be used. What this comes down to is that a human beings greatest need is to survive - nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, when someone feels as though it is safe enough for them to be here, it will allow them to express their ‘higher’ needs. Self-Sabotage When this component is not in place, it won’t be enough for someone to simply increase their self-esteem. Part of them will feel as though they deserve something, but another part of them won’t feel safe enough to allow them to take the next step. Conversely, they may be able to achieve certain things, only for what they achieve to fall to pieces shortly afterwards. If they are unaware of what is going on within them, it can seem as though something ‘out there’ is trying to hold them back. The Priority Another thing that can take place when someone doesn’t feel safe enough to exist is that their whole life can revolve around their need to be safe. Self-expression will go out of the window and self-preservation will be the main focus. This is going to mean that they will be more interested in pleasing others than themselves, and this may cause them to come across as easy going and passive. It will be as if they are merely an extension of others. A Predictable Life Pleasing others will be a way for them to try to make sure that they are not harmed by others. Spending a fair amount of time in their own company can be another way for them to fulfil this need. Their life might be very ritualistic, too, with them doing the same things day in, day out. Living life is this way is rarely going to allow them to experience anything new or different, resulting in a monotonous existence, but, what it will be do is provide them with the stability that they lack internally and it will be what is familiar – with what is familiar being seen as what is safe to the mind. What’s going on? Someone like this is going to be stuck in survival mode – their reptile (lizard) brain will have taken over. This could be due to what has happened in their adult life or it could go back to what took place at the beginning of their life. If it relates to the latter, it could be a sign that they were abused and/or neglected as a child. This would have been a time in their life when it wasn’t safe enough for them to exist – to allow their feet to touch the ground. Awareness These experiences would have had an effect on their body and mind, and they will most likely still be carrying the trauma that they experienced all those years ago. It will be vital for them to deal with the trauma that is within them if they want to transform their life. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. With the right support, they will be able to gradually resolve the trauma that is within them and to develop the ability to trust life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are people who are generally able to achieve what they set their mind on and there are others who aren’t. When it comes to the former, it is going to be a lot easier for them to make progress and to move forward with their life.
Their life will change as the years go by - stopping them from feeling as though they are stuck in Groundhog Day. Being able to fulfil their needs is naturally going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing. Patience and Persistence Now, this doesn’t mean that everything will always fall into this persons lap or that everything will be easy. They will have faced challenges in their life like everyone else, yet they will have kept going. But, if there have been moments when they have thrown the towel in, so to speak, it may have been a sign that they were doing something that didn’t interest them. During these moments, it would have been clear that they needed to take a different path. Self-Love What is going to stand out about someone like this is that they are their own best friend. There will be the support that other people give them and there will be the support that they give to themselves. The support that they receive from others will be important, but it won’t be as important as what takes place within them. In the same way that a nation will rise or fall, depending on what takes place internally; whether or not a human being will rise of fall will depend on what takes place internally. The Same Team Their inner support will be what allows them to take the first step and it will be what gives them the encouragement that they need to handle just about any setback that arises. This is likely to show that they are in touch with their inherent worth. And, as they are going to be stuck with themselves until their time on this earth comes to an end, it is a good thing that they have this type of relationship with themselves. Being this way is also going to have a positive effect on their relationships. Elevation There will be no need for them to tolerate bad behaviour from others – being around people like this would feel uncomfortable. They will only have space for people that will allow them to expand. This could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember, or, perhaps it hasn’t been this way for very long. Nevertheless, they are going to be living a life that is worth living. Another Reality When it comes to someone who finds it hard to achieve what they set their mind to, it is going to be a challenge for them to make progress and to move forward with their life. They may get to a certain point and then for some reason, they end up giving up. It will be as if they take one step forward and two steps back, which is likely to lead to an incredibly frustrating existence. Alliteratively, they could have moved forward in at least one area of their life, only for it to fall apart soon after. Inner Conflict And, unlike the person above whose inner world is full of love and support, their inner world could be full of negativity. What is going on within them is going to make it hard for them to take action and to keep going, no matter what happens. Due to what is taking place within them, it is not going to be much of a surprise if they are surrounded by people who unable to be supportive. Their inner world will need to change in order for them to change their outer world. Different Parts One way of looking at this would be to say that this person is not an integrated human being, and this is why their life is so difficult. Physically they will be one person, that will be clear to see, but what won’t be clear to see if that they will probably have many different selves within them. There will be the needs that their adult self has and then there will be these other selves that have different needs. However, although these different selves will have nothing to do with their true-self, it doesn’t mean that they will realise what is going on. Identification Through experiencing life in this way for so long, they might believe that these different selves are part of their nature. As a result of this, they may try to fight these different parts and push them out of their awareness, for instance. When one of these parts takes over their being, it can define how they feel, what thoughts they have, and how they behave, along with how they perceive life. Some of these parts will have a very similar effect on them, while others won’t. Where Do They Come From? The different selves that are sabotaging their life will have most likely been created during the beginning of their life. There would have been moments during this time when they felt overwhelmed, and the only option available would have been for them to disconnect from how they felt. Each time this took place, it would have split-off another part of them, and, over time, this would have lead to a fractured being. These parts will then have made it difficult for them to be able to embrace their true-self. Awareness If the external support was available when they felt overwhelmed, it would have allowed the experience to be processed and to pass through them. This would have stopped them from having to split-off a part of themselves to survive. A childhood full of abuse can be the reason why someone has all these split-off parts, as can a relatively ‘normal’ childhood. Thankfully, these parts can be integrated, thereby allowing them to function as a whole human being. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Each part may need to be acknowledged and allowed to express what it couldn’t express all those years ago.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Earlier on, whilst I was out in a populated area, I overheard someone say to another person that they “stressed them out”. I had no idea why they said this to them, but there must have been a reason for it.
It would be easy to conclude that the other person was behaving in a way that was causing them to suffer. Based on this, the other person would need to change in order for them to feel more at peace Powerless So, unless the other person changes their behaviour in some way, their life is not going to change. There is then a strong chance that their life will end up getting even worse, causing them to experience even more stress. It could be said that they will be a victim and the other person will be a perpetrator – one of them won’t have any control, while the other one will. So, this is going to be something that is black and white. The Norm I don’t know anything about this person, of course, but it is unlikely that there isn’t anything that they can do to change what is going on. However, even though this is the case, it is not as if it is uncommon for someone to have this outlook in today’s world. This can be seen as what happens when someone has an external locust of control, which would cause them to believe that they have no control over their life. If, on the other hand, someone has an internal locust of control, they would believe that they have control over their life. A Choice Someone like this would look into why they feel stressed, allowing them to do something about it. They might see that what is taking place in their mind is causing them to feel stressed. Therefore, by changing how they think about what is taking place, it will give them the chance to feel more at peace. Along with this, they may see that their behaviour is playing a par, too. A Different Identity When someone responds in this way when they feel stressed, they are unlikely to see themselves a victim. They will be able to see that they can act like a victim, but that this is just a role. The view that they have of themselves will be what allows them to take responsibility for their life, as opposed to blaming other people for what they experience. Being this way is going to be far better for their health and overall fulfilment. Final Thoughts The main point here is that if someone feels stressed, it will be vital for them to look into what they can do to settle themselves down. Staying as they are and blaming someone or something else is not going to solve anything. What they need to do will depend on what is going on for them - it might be case of changing their thinking or no longer spending time with someone. Meditating on a regular basis may also help.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to a car, for instance, there is only going to be such much that it can do. So, how fast it can go or where it can be driven will all depend on what type of car it is.
If someone wanted to change how fast a car can go or where it can go, it would need to undergo a number of changes. When it comes to a human being, on the other hand, what someone can do is often going to be defined by what is going on internally. The Power of Belief What is going on here is going to have a significant effect on how they experience life. However, while this is the case, it can be easy for someone to behave as though their life is fixed. Therefore, in the same way that a car can only do certain things, it will be as if they are in the same boat. No matter what their life is like, this will just be how it is and there will be nothing that they can do. A Mental Construction But, while it may seem as though their life is just the way it is and there is nothing they can do, it will be this way for a reason. What they believe about themselves is likely to define how they experience life. And the reason why they are unable to see this is likely to be due the fact that they are too attached to the identity that they have created. This is not to say that they consciously created this identity, though. The Truth Without realising it, the identity they have created is going to be what is driving their life. If they were able to take a step back and to take a look at the identity they have constructed over the years, this would become clear. But until this takes place, it will seem as though they are just observing life and that what is going on within them is not having an effect. Then again, they might even be aware of their inner world. A Bleak Existence With very little control over their life, they might believe that they need to rely on luck to experience life differently. If they come across people who are doing well, it may seem as though they have something that they themselves don’t have. It is not going to be much of a surprise for someone like this to spend a lot of time feeling like a victim. There will always be someone – or something – that is going to try to hold them back in some way. Detachment In order for their life to gradually change, it will be essential for them to develop the ability to observe themselves. This will allow them to see that they have constructed an idea about who they are, and, this idea will be what defines how they behave, how they interpret what takes place in their life and what they believe that they can achieve, amongst other things. When they are able to detach from the identity that they have created, they will be able to see that this is not fixed. And, if it is not fixed, it means that they can create an identity that will allow them to live a fulfilling life. Constant Reinforcement One of the reasons why the identity that they have created will seem more real than any other identity that they could create is due to the amount of support it has received over the years. The experiences they have had in their-day-to-day life will have helped to keep it in place. It will be very similar to how a statue or a house starts off as an idea before it ends up being turned into something physical. Along with what has taken place externally, there will be what they have done internally to reinforce this identity. The Main Part Once they are able to see how they are helping to reinforce this identity, they will be able to start putting their energy into another identity. After their inner world begins to change, they will start to notice a change in their outer world. But, if their inner world stays the same, it won’t be possible for their outer world to change. The only reason their life has stayed the same for so long is likely to be because their inner world has been the same. Two Options One way of looking at this would be for them to imagine that they have a flower out in front of them to the left, and, out in front to them to the right is a weed. If they take care of the flower the weed will due, but, if they take care of the weed, the flower will die. Likewise, if they only they feed their new identity and starve their old identity, their life will start to blossom. Yet, if they continue to feed who they have been for so many years (if not their while life), their life won’t change. Awareness This shows how import it is for someone to be mindful of what they focus on and to make sure they place their attention on what they want to experience more of. If they do this, this seeds that they plant in their mind will start to develop into strong trees.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
One of the things that the mainstream likes to is to do portray all women as victims and all men as perpetrators. There are men and women who are happy to go along with this and there are men and women who are not.
And regardless of whether someone is happy to go along with how the mainstream media often portrays each gender, their own experiences are likely to play a part. Said another way, this source of information will either validate or invalidate what they go through in their day-to-day life. Another Element At the same time, it wouldn’t be right to say that the mainstream media is the only source that has this view. The education system often promotes this idea, allowing them to condition young minds. Consequently, there are two incredibly powerful forces in the world that are going to play a part in how a lot of people see themselves and their fellow human beings. If someone is happy to go along with how the mainstream media and education often portrays each gender, their life is going to be different to someone who doesn’t. One Experience If a woman does go along with these two sources sell, she may be used to coming into contact with men who are not very pleasant. Perhaps she has been with a number of men who were abusive. Having said that, she may even be in a relationship with a man that is abusive in some way. Accordingly, hearing one of the above sources talk about how bad men are is going to be music to her ears. Affirmation It will be clear to them that they are not the only ones who are going through this, and it can be as though this is just what women go through in today’s world. They will then be victims, but at least they won’t be the only ones in this position. And, thanks to the sources above, they will be able to use shame, along with the government, to try to change men’s behaviour. But, as men are so bad, this will be seen as the right thing to do. For Him This is likely to be seen as a way to rebalance the power that men have in society. If a man was to go along with these two sources, he may also be used to coming into contact with men who abuse their power. He may feel ashamed of his own gender and this may cause him to do what he can to make the world better for women. Due to the amount of negativity he carries, it is likely to be a challenge for him to feel good about himself. Another Experience On the other hand, if woman doesn’t go along with these two sources sell, she may have come into contact with a number of men throughout her life who were anything but abusive. Not only this, she may have grown up around at least one man who she loved and appreciated. And, if she is in a relationship, she will most likely spend a lot of time with a man who she holds in high regard. As a result of this, it is likely to be hard for her to get her head around what these sources come out with. Misandry When it comes to a man who doesn’t go along with all this, he may believe that this shows how much hate there is towards men in today’s society. In his eyes, the reason why this doesn’t stand out could be because of how much attention there is on misogyny. He may see that the dominant narrative is that men are the ones with issues, while women haven’t got any. It will then be clear that these sources are more interested in dividing men and women than bringing them together. Stepping Back Nevertheless, although it would be easy to point the finger at these two sources, if there wasn’t conflict between men and women to begin with these sources wouldn’t have the same influence. What they have to sell wouldn’t interest people, and, along with this, no one would be interested being part of something that would divide men and women. When it comes to the experiences that a man/woman has with the opposite sex, what took place during the beginning of their life will have played a part. It can be a case of the more conflict a man/women had with their opposite sex parent as a child, the more conflict they are likely to have with the opposite sex as an adult. Another Factor The trouble is that due to the years that will have passed since this time in their life, it can be hard for someone to see the connection. This can then cause them to believe that all men/women are the same, as opposed to being able to see how see that the men/women they attract are mirroring back what is taking place within them. In addition to what took place when they were younger, there can also be what was passed down to them from their ancestors. Thus, even if someone didn’t have a negative relationship with caregivers earlier on, they can still be carrying trauma. A Big Impact How they perceive the opposite sex and feel about them can then be defined by what their ancestors went through. If they don’t realise what is taking place, it might cause them to treat men/women as though they are responsible for their ancestors went through. What is clear is that when someone blames men/women for what their caregivers did and/or what their ancestors went through, it is not going to make the world a better place. The only thing that it will do is add more fuel to a fire that is already burning ferociously. Conclusion This shows how important it is for someone to become aware of what is taking place within them and then to heal their own wounds, as well as what has been passed down to them. Doing this will improve their interactions with the opposite sex and they will be able to serve as an example to others. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, someone can heal their emotional wounds and what was passed down to them.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When I was speaking to Ben Ralston a number of weeks ago, he mentioned something that really made me think. Ben is a therapist and trainer of therapists, healer, advanced Sivananda Yoga teacher, and writer.
We were talking about the self-image and he ended up touching upon a book that he had been reading. I can’t remember what this book was called, but I can remember why he mentioned it. A Powerful Sentence He said that there is a part in this book where the author says that we don’t come through the world, the world comes through us. If this was not what he said, it was something very similar. I thought that this was a radically different way of looking at life; a way that was very empowering. What also crossed my mind was that this was not simply a way of looking at life, it was the truth. A Hopeless Place With that aside, someone is likely to feel strong and capable if they believe that they have an effect on their reality. As a result of this, it will be a lot easier for them to fulfil their needs. If, on the other hand, they don’t believe this, they are unlikely to live a life that is very fulfilling. It will be as though they are just an observer of their life, which will make it incredibly difficult for them to change anything. A Different World What this shows is how powerful beliefs are, and how these shape the experience that someone has on this planet. It has been said that if someone wants to find out what they believe, they only need to look at their life. One is then not just observing what is taking place externally; they are playing an active role in how they experience life. Even so, if someone’s life is not going as they would like it to go, it can be hard for them to come to terms with this. Resistance Their mind can end up rejecting this, believing that this is not something that has any basis in reality. Therefore, in order for them to change their reality, they will need to detach from their mind and to focus on the fact that they do have an effect on their life. If they are able to do this, they will be able to gradually change how they experience life. The pain and discomfort that they go through in the short-term will be outweighed by what they will be able to achieve by changing what they believe. Final Thoughts Going from someone who feels powerless to someone who feels powerful is unlikely to happen overnight, and this is why it will take patience and persistence. What can also make a big difference is the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance. The reason for this is that if someone feels completely powerless, they could be carrying a fair amount of trauma. External support may then be necessary as this will allow them to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Having a sense of personal power will be the only thing that some people have ever known; while there will be others who will only know what it feels like to feel totally powerless. Therefore, even though both types of people will live on the same planet, it will be as if they live on separate planets.
The main reason for this is that they are likely to experience life very differently. When someone does feel empowered, it will be similar to being in a car that woks; whereas when this is not the case, it will be similar to being in car that doesn’t work. The Vehicle Through being in car that works, one will be able to go wherever they want to go; they won’t feel stuck. On the other hand, when one is in a car that doesn’t work, they won’t be able to go anywhere. Driving somewhere nearby or somewhere that is a few hundred miles away, for instance, will allow one to experience a sense of power. This will then allow them to move and to fulfil a number of needs. A Different Experience But, when this is not an option because the car won’t work, they won’t be able to drive down the road or somewhere that is even further away. Not being able to go anywhere will stop them from being able to fulfil a number needs, making it harder for them to feel empowered. However, when someone doesn’t feel empowered, they are not only going to feel like this when they are in a car that doesn’t work. No, this will be how they feel in their day-to-day life. The Exception If someone who has a personal sense of empowerment was to end up in this position, they would be able to step out of their car and feel empowered once more. And through being this way, they would most likely look into what they can do to have their car repaired. There is then going to be no reason for them to make a mountain out of a mole hill, and this will allow them to carry on with their life. Their identity won’t be built around them being a victim, so they won’t need to get caught in something like this. A Choice Through being in touch with their personal power, they will generally know what they have power over and what they don’t have power over. Having the ability to know the difference will play a big part in them being able to live an empowered life. Unsurprisingly, if they spent lot of time trying to change what they have no control over, it would have a negative effect on their wellbeing. Letting go of what they can’t change will be what gives them the energy to focus on what they change. One Area There is the chance that they will have a career that is deeply fulfilling, or this might be something that they are working towards. If they do have a fulfilling career, having a sense of personal power will have made it easier for them to handle the setbacks that they had to overcome to get on this point It will also give them the ability to handle the setbacks that arise in the future. If they are in the process of creating a fulfilling career, they will have the belief to keep going no matter what happens. Another Area When it comes to the people who they spend time with, these are likely to be people who are supportive. One will be supportive towards themselves and this will be why they feel comfortable being around people who are the same. And regardless of whether they are in an intimate relationship or if they are single, it is unlikely that they will tolerate being with someone who tries to undermine them in anyway. When someone experiences life in this way, this could be how their life has always been; then again, it might not be this black and white. A Different Reality When someone doesn’t feel empowered, it is naturally going to be a lot harder for them to live a life that is fulfilling. Every area of their life might not be going as they would like it to and it will seem as if there is not a lot that they can do. Unlike the person above, who will most likely be used to experiencing positive feelings, they will most likely be used to experiencing negative feelings. They may find that they have the tendency to feel powerless, hopeless, helpless, worthless, and angry, for instance. A Miserable Existence Someone like this could have moments when they wonder why they are here and if it is worth living any longer. What may cause them experience a lot of pain is when they come across people who are living an empowered life. It might appear as though these people have something that they themselves don’t have, which is why their life is so different to theirs. There will be a difference between them and someone who is empowered, but it is unlikely be inherent. A Closer Look The main difference between them and someone who experience life differently is likely to be what is taking place within them at a deeper level. One of them will have empowering beliefs and the other one wont. Along with this, one of them might be carrying developmental trauma and the other probably won’t be. What one of them experienced during the beginning of their life would then have been radically different to what the other experienced. Neglect When it comes to someone who doesn’t have a sense of personal power, they might not have received the kind of care that they needed throughout their formative years. This may have meant that they were often left as a baby. Therefore, this would have been a time when they cried out in order to get their needs met, but on a lot of occasions, their caregivers might not have appeared. Consequently, they might have ended up shutting down and losing hope. The Consequences This would have caused them to create a number of associations, and these are going to be holding them back to this day. They would have come to believe that they can’t handle life, that their needs won’t be met, and that they don’t deserve to be here, amongst other things. If this was how they were treated at the beginning of their life, it is to be expected that their adult life would be a struggle. Unless their inner world changes, they will continue to be passive and to live a life that is anything but fulfilling. Awareness It will be essential for someone like this to deal the baggage that they are still carrying from their early years. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Not a day goes by where hundreds, if not thousands, of people are not offended about something. This is something that can happen after they have watched a video or read something, for instance.
And in addition to being offended themselves, they can also end up being offended on behalf of other people. As a result of this, they are likely to spend a lot of their time on this planet being offended. A Competition This has meant that a number of people have said that being offended has now turned into a competition. It is then not just about being offended; it is about being more offended than anyone else. Still, when someone behaves in this manner, they are likely to be too caught up in what they are doing to see what is actually going on. Then again, there is also the chance that one won’t have gone this far. A Full Time Job Even so, each day they could browse the internet and go on different social media sites to see if anyone has said anything that is offensive. Yet, even if they don’t look for things that are offensive, they might still come across things that have a big effect on them. Thus, even if they do have others going on in their life, this is still going to take up a lot of their time. One of their main goals could be to do everything they can to put an end up to anything that is offensive. A Mission As far as they are concerned, this could be seen as the right thing to do, and there will be plenty of people who are right behind them. This people will give them the energy that they need to continue to behave in the same way. They may believe that people should be able to live in a world where they don’t have to be offended. Thinking about other people’s feelings will be seen as an essential part of living in a peaceful and harmonious world. Short-Sighted This is not going to be an outlook that everyone supports, though, and there will be people who believe that someone like this is behaving in a myopic manner. Being able to offend people will be seen as an important part of free speech. These two things will be seen as being inseparable, which is why it won’t be possible to have one without the other. What will also be put forward is that when someone is offended, it is because of how they have interpreted what has been said. Emotional Responsibility It is then not that the person who says something is the perpetrator and the person who is offended is the victim. What this emphasises is that what goes on in someone’s head when they hear something will play a big part in how they respond. However, in order for someone to realise this, they would need to be able to observe what takes place within them just before they feel offended. This would give them the chance to see how they are not a simply bystander in all this. A Lack of Self-Awareness The trouble is that if someone has the tendency to be offended, they are likely to be too attached to their own mind to realise what is going on. Instead of realising that they are playing a part, it will be as though other people define if they are offended or not. But, if they were to take a step back and to take a look at what is taking place within them, they may find that experiencing life in this way allows them to fulfil a number of emotional needs. These needs are likely to be what is driving their behaviour, as opposed to their need to make the world a better place. A Closer Look They may find that being offended allows them to receive attention, to feel significant, to feel powerful, and to feel good about themselves. These needs will then have taken over, making it hard for them to see the big picture. If they were not consumed by their own needs and actually wanted to make the world a better place, they would see how destructive it would be to destroy free speech. This is what gives people the ability to speak out about, which is why the establishment is only too happy for it to go. The Main Priority When someone has the tendency to be offended, it will allow them to receive attention and to feel significant without having to actually contribute anything to the world. This will then give them a sense of power, and, by coming across as a virtuous human being, the positive feedback that they receive will allow them to feel good about themselves. The reason that they are unable to experience these feelings without being offended can be due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they didn’t get what they needed to develop in the right way. In The Beginning Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected, and this will be why they have such a strong need for attention. No matter how much attention they receive, it won’t fill the hole that is within them. Being treated in this way would have caused them to feel worthless, powerless and as though they were not important. They will look like an adult, yet they are likely to be carrying a lot of wounded inner children within them. Awareness The ideal might then be for them to get in touch with these split-off parts and to work through the pain that is within them. This is something that can take place by working with a therapist or a healer. If they were to do this not only would they be able to grow and develop, their need to control what other people say and do would also start to fall away. So, if they actually want to make a difference in the world, this will be one of the best things that they can do.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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