When someone talks about what is taking place in their life, it can be due to a number of reasons. Perhaps they just want to let other people know about what has been going on for them.
This can then be seen as a normal part of life and what happens in human relationships. As if this didn’t occur, it would be a lot harder for people to connect to each other; in fact, this might stop this from happening. Both Ways When two people get together and talk about what they have been doing, it is likely to have a positive effect on their relationship. And when it comes to what effect it has, it can all depend on what they actually talk about. If they only talk about surface level things, it will help to keep their friendship alive. However, if they decide to talk about their feelings or about their needs, for instance, it might allow them to create an even deeper connection. To Be Seen One will also be sharing different parts of their life because of the effect this has on them; it will fulfil their need to be heard. Simply having another person listen to what they have to say will be affirming. It could be said that this is due to the human beings being interdependent, as opposed to independent. This is just one of the things that other people provide that one can’t provide for themselves. Today’s World Therefore, if one was to go online and talk to people through social media, it is not going to have the same effect as it would if they were with them in person. Now, this could be something that they are only too aware of. The time they spend online talking to people will then be nothing more than an addition to the time they spend talking to people in person. It is then not going to be seen as something that can replace being in the presence of another human being. Overlooked Yet, it could also be just as easy for one to forget about how important face-to-face contact is. They could then spend more time talking to people over a screen, and this is naturally going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. If one was to realise why they feel as they do, it will enable them to do something about it. But without this understanding, one could put it down to another reason, and this could stop them from being able to change how they feel. Advice In addition to one simply wanting to share their life, they can share something to gain another person’s point of view. This could be a sign that one is in a position where they don’t know what to do and they hope this will change. The person they share something with could have a deeper understanding of what they are going through, or they could be highly knowledgeable about a wide range of topics. Through hearing their feedback, it might be only a matter of time before they are able to take the next step. Another Reason If this is not the case, it could mean that one is sharing something with someone as a way to gain sympathy. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with this per se. For example, if one has recently lost a family member, they are likely to find comfort through doing this. And the people they are close to could be more than happy to show their support during this challenging time in their life. Stuck As times passes, one’s behaviour could gradually change and they won’t have the need to experience as much attention from others. Even so, one could have the tendency to look towards other people for sympathy, and it won’t be necessary for them to have lost someone. There could always be something that will cause them to look towards other people for attention. One thing that might do this is if they have mental and/or emotional problems. Emotional Problems This could be something that has small effect on their life, or it could be far more sever. One is then going to be happy to talk about what is going on for them, but they won’t have the desire to do anything about it. If someone was to ask them if they have looked into what they can do to change how they feel, one could end up criticising them for being insensitive. This can show that one will believe that the other person has a hidden agenda and that they are not trying to help them. A Life Sentence One could believe that this is how their life will always be and this can then set them up to feel like a victim. The attention they seek from others can be way for them to feel better about what they are going through. What can play a part here is that emotions are typically ignored in today’s world, and this can mean that people are often at a loss when it comes to how to deal with them. It is then not going to be much of a surprise for someone to believe that they can’t do anything about how they feel. Awareness If one is suffering in this way, they will know that receiving attention from others won’t completely change their life. The only thing it will do is make their life marginally better from time to time. It could be said that the best thing for them to do will be to look for answers and to do what they can to improve their mental and emotional health. This can take time and there may be a number of setbacks, but this is part of the process. The first thing one could do is to go and see their doctor and/or to find a therapist. Looking into what took place during their childhood years may also give them insight into why they feel the way they do, and from here; they can look for ways to deal with how they feel.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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When it comes to what someone believes about what is taking place in the world, they can be heavily influenced by the mainstream media. Alternatively, they may have a different approach.
One might be in a position where they rarely pay attention to this source of information, or they could listen to the alternative media instead. If this is the case, it is likely to be a sign that they are happy to think for themselves. The Easy Option Going along with the mainstream media is similar to ordering a takeaway, and this is because it won’t take a lot of effort. What they want is provided for them and they won’t have to do anything. The time and energy that they save through doing this can then be used in another way. And if other people are being paid to cover what is taking place in the world, there is going to be no reason for one to exert themselves. One Outlook If someone is happy to go along with what other people provide, it is likely to show that they trust them. It is then not that they can’t think for themselves; it is that they don’t need to do so. They are bound to have plenty of other things to do in life without having to question what they hear about on the news or in the paper, for instance. This doesn’t mean that they just woke up one day and started to trust what they saw or read about, as it probably would have been developed over time. The Norm There is a strong chance that one is surrounded by people who have the same approach as them, and it might have always been this way. Due to having people around them who have the same outlook, it can cause them to believe that they are doing the right thing. Perhaps one was also brought up in a family who also accepted just about everything the mainstream media came out with. It is then something that has become a habit, and unless their perception changes, their behaviour will stay the same. A Step Back However, there are going to be others who are not willing to just accept everything they are sold by the mainstream media. Now, this is not to say that they were always this was, as there is likely to be a time when this didn’t take place. One may have accepted everything or they might have moments when they question what they heard. Therefore, there is the chance that one has always had the ability to think critically. A Deeper Look As the year passed, one would have gradually honed this ability, and this is going to allow them to come to their own conclusions. And while they may still listen to the mainstream media, they might have turned their back on it. One could then look towards the alternative media in order to be informed about what is taking place in the world. The information that they come across here is not going to be as biased, but that doesn’t mean that one will swallow everything whole. Imperfect This might come down to the fact that one will realise that human beings are imperfect, and so it is not going to be possible for this source to get everything right. In the same way, one is not going to be able to always come to the right conclusions; there are going to be times when they are wrong. Yet, as they are able to question what they hear and they want to find out the truth, there is always going to be the chance that they will be able correct themselves. After all, finding the truth is a lifelong pursuit and not something that will ever come to an end. Prepared When one is willing to question what they hear and to look towards alternative news sources, it can allow them to have a greater understanding of what is going on. For one thing, their understating of something won’t be defined by what the mainstream media wants them to know. Thus, if someone was to ask them what their views are on a certain topic, they should be able to stand their ground. What they come out with will have been thought out and they might have the facts to back up what they say. Unprepared On the other hand, if someone only listens to what the mainstream media sells them, they might find it hard to explain why they have a certain view. This could be a time when they will make out that their outlook is the truth, and they may try to shut people down if their views are different. If they do try to back up what they believe, it could relate to what the media has told them. As a result of this, they might soon find that their argument begins to crumble, and it could be said that this is to be expected. One Purpose What this comes down to is that the mainstream media is there to control people, and they do this through getting them to react in a certain way. And this is not something that generally takes place by focusing on facts and presenting information in a balanced manner. It will typically occur by making sure that peoples thinking brains are offline, and this can happen by targeting their emotional brain (and their survival brain). This then causes people to react to what they see, but it won’t allow them to be informed. Conclusion So if one is told what to believe or if they react to what they see, it is not going to be a surprise if they can’t back up their arguments. One is then going to be nothing more than a programmed machine, as opposed to a human being who has the ability to think for themselves.
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When it comes to intimacy, it could be said that there are at least three types of people. There can the ones who want to experience it, the ones who do experience it and the ones who do everything they can do avoid it.
And whether one has fulfilling relationships can all depend on which one of these they can relate to. But regardless of what their relationships are like, there is the chance that this is how they have experienced life for quite some time. A Deeper Connection If one is able to get close to other people without feeling uncomfortable, it is naturally going to have a positive effect on their life. This will allow them to share what is taking place within them. One can then open up about how they feel, reveal their needs, and share their dreams and fears, for instance. Ultimately, they will be able to share who they are without losing themselves. A Difference Through sharing these parts of themselves, it is going to allow their relationships to be far more fulfilling than if this wasn’t the case. This is not to say that they won’t have surface level conversations though. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one will share each part of themselves and this will enable them to operate as a whole human being. Yet, if they were to only share certain parts of themselves, parts of them will end up being neglected. Avoidance When one does what they can to avoid intimacy, this is going to be something that takes place. This is not going to be something that occurs from time to time though; it will be a way of life. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will realise what is taking place, and this is because they can be out of touch with their emotional needs. Thus, it could be normal for them to only share their mind and body with others. Enough Once they have shared their mind and/or just their body, they could feel as though their needs have been met. In fact, they might find it hard to understand why someone would want more. If they were to come into contact with someone who wanted more from them, they could describe them as being ‘needy’, for instance. The other person’s needs could end up pushing them away. Back and Forth One could then go and find someone else to share their body with, or they could end up going back to the same person. This could be sign that the other person is willing to overlook their need to experience intimacy. Alternatively, one might feel the urge to go back to the same person, and this could be seen as a sign that they like them. It might only be a matter of time before they have the need to get away again and that could be the end of it, or this could be a dynamic that continues to play out. A Deeper Look If one was to get in touch with what is taking place in their body - when they feel the need to get away - they may find that they feel smothered. It is then not that they want to get away from the other person; it is that they want to avoid how they feel. And through being away from someone who will trigger how they feel, they will be able to settle down. Once this has taken place, it is not going to be a surprise for them to want to go back again. Another Feeling It could seem as though it is their physical needs that cause them to go back to the same person, but there could be more to it. This might be a way for them to avoid feeling abandoned. The feeling and the fear of being abandoned can be the reason why someone else would come on strong. If one was to come on strong towards them, they could also end up feeling smothered. Push-Pull However, even though both of them experience the same feelings, there is a difference when it comes to the intensity of them. When one avoids intimacy, the feeling of being smothered will be the strongest. And when someone wants to experience intimacy but has the tendency to attract people who are distant, they are likely to find that their fear of being abandoned is far stronger than their fear of being smothered. Therefore, if someone can relate to this and they are fed up with attracting people who are unavailable, it will be important for them to see the part that they are playing. Intimacy If one is in a position where they want to experience intimacy and they keep feeling the need to get away when they are with someone, it is going to cause them to experience a lot of pain. They may have sabotaged a number of relationships, and this could mean that they will only get so far. Perhaps this has even caused them to cheat on a number of occasions, as this will have allowed them to experience a sense of freedom. It might occur to them that it is not the people they have been with who caused them to feel trapped; it is what was taking place in their own body and mind. What’s going on? How one feels when they get close to another is likely to be the result of what took place during their formative years. This could have been a time when one of their caregivers got to close to them and as they wouldn’t have had boundaries at this time, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to protect themselves. Getting close to another would have been seen as something that would cause them to lose themselves and to be annihilated. How they felt all those years ago has then remained in their body and it will be triggered whenever they end up getting close to another person. Awareness Through seeing that what is taking place externally is only triggering how they feel internally, one will be able to change their life. One will need to develop boundaries and to deal with the pain that is within them, and this can take place by working with a therapist.
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When one is happy, they can feel the need to share how they feel with others, and this can take place in a number of ways. Perhaps one will be more complimentary than they usually are.
It can then be normal for them to say how good someone looks, or they might talk about how they appreciate what they do for them. They may even focus on a certain trait that they have and tell them how important this is. Good Vibes Yet even if these kinds of things didn’t take place, they could still have a positive effect on others. This is because other people could simply enjoy being in their presence; with them being able to soak up their positive energy, Through spending time with them, someone could end up feeling a whole lot better about themselves. Or, they could just find that they add to how they already feel, and this will mean that they won’t take anything away from them. The Opposite Effect But while there will be a number of people who are drawn to their energy, there can be others who won’t be. Instead, they can feel repelled by how they come across, and this can then cause them to want to get away. This could be a sign that they don’t feel very good, and by seeing someone who does, it can make them feel angry. How one comes across can remind one of how bad they feel at this moment in their life. One Step Further And although one can make the people around feel better without even trying, they can also extend themselves even further. One could feel the need to do some kind of volunteering or to give money to charity, for instance. Therefore, it won’t be necessary for someone to be in their local environment in order to benefit from how one feels. This could be how one generally feels, or it could only be something they experience from time to time. The Other Side When they don’t feel this way, they might be able to cover up how they feel, and this will typically stop other people from realising what is taking place within them. As a result of this, one is going to have a positive effect on others no matter how they feel. At the same time, it could be relatively easy for other people to know when their inner world has changed. This can then give other people the opportunity to see if they can do anything to help. Covered Up If they cover up how they feel, it may be due to them wanting to sort things out for themselves. One is then not going to want other people to give them sympathy; they will simply want to move forward. Alternatively, this could show that they don’t feel comfortable showing how they feel, and their behaviour is then motivated by their need to protect themselves. One could then ignore how they feel and pretend that everything is fine. On Show When one reveals how they feel, it could be a sign that they want other people to give them attention. But if this is not the case, it could just show that they are comfortable showing how they feel. In this case, one is not trying to gain attention; they are just embracing how they feel. This doesn’t mean that they will reveal how they feel to anyone, as this could just occur around the people they are close to. Assistance One may find that they feel better about themselves and that they are able to take the next step through being around people who take the time to listen to what they are going though. It is the not that they want someone to do anything, it is just that they want them to be there for them. This is likely to be a lot healthier than if they were to hold in how they feel and to pretend that everything is fine. And through doing this, one is going to be taking responsibility for what is taking place within them. A Negative Effect If someone was to feel drained or low after one opened up about what is going on for them, it is not going to be one’s fault. This can show that they ended up absorbing how one felt, as opposed to one going out their way to cause them harm. However, although one can own how they feel and deal with it themselves or show how they feel with someone they trust, they can also go out of their way to cause harm. As they are suffering, they are going to do what they can to make sure other people suffer too. Criticism This is then going to mean that one won’t own what is taking place within them; they will end up putting other people down. Through doing this, it will give them a momentary release, and one can then feel good about themselves for a short-time. The trouble is that while this will change their mood, it won’t have a positive effect on their relationships. It could end up pushing people away, or the people who do stay around them could end up feeling bad about themselves. Stuck This might also make it harder for them to improve their life, and this is down to the fact that they will be wasting their energy. Putting other people can change how they feel, but it is unlikely to improve their circumstances. Awareness If one can relate to this and they want to change their behaviour, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them to chance to improve their self-awareness to develop the ability to contain how they feel. They could also be carrying toxic shame, and this will be something that plays a part in their tendency to put other people down. As if they were to change how they feel about themselves, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t need to behave in the same way.
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While one can be friends with people who put in as much effort as they do, there is also the chance that this isn’t the case. It could then be said that some of their relationships will be out of balance.
And not only might this apply to their friends, it could also be something that they experience in their intimate relationships. These relationships are then unlikely to be very fulfilling, and one could wonder what is going on. Part of Life One way of looking at this kind of behaviour would be to say that it is simply part of the human experience, and that it can’t be avoided. For one thing, modern day technology makes it easier than ever for people to put in the least amount of effort when it comes to their relationships. This comes down to the fact that a lot of what people say to each other these days takes place over a screen. Therefore, while it is easy to talk to someone, it is just as easy to ignore them. Another Option But this is not always going to be necessary, as one could simply stay in touch with someone without saying much. They could then respond from time to time and this could occur without them showing any interest in another person. One could see themselves as being the centre of the universe, and the people who get in contact with them can be seen as their followers. Their life can be seen as being more important than anyone else’s and it will be normal for them to let other people put all the effort in. Two Sides However, while technology could be blamed for this, there are going to be other factors involved. If anything, it could be said that one probably already had the tendency to be self-centred. Thus, it is not that going online caused them to be self-absorbed; it is that modern day technology accentuates this part of their nature. And while there will be a number of people who put up with this kind of behaviour, there will be plenty who don’t. A Problem When one is surrounded by people who don’t put in much effort, it is going to have a negative effect on their life. It is then going to be as if another person is meant to be pushing a car with them, but they are the only ones pushing it. If this is what their intimate relationships are like, they are going to experience a lot of frustration. They may start to see themselves as being unlucky and/or they might even feel worthless. Now And Then Yet, even if one only experienced this on the odd occasion, it could still have a big effect on them. For example, if a friend had moments when they put in effort and moments when they didn’t, they might find it hard to work out where they stand with them. And if they were in an intimate relationship with someone who was warm one moment and cold the next, it could cause them to experience a lot of unnecessary drama. The emotions that they go through by being with someone like this can set them up to suffer in one way or another. Hooked In When one is invested in another person, it can be easy for them to get caught up in what they are or are not doing. Their mental and emotional state can then end up being out of their control. And in order for them to change, it will be vital for them to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place. This can then enable them to regain their equilibrium and to respond as opposed to react. One Reason If one finds that another person goes silent for no apparent reason, it could show that they have a lot going on in their life. Perhaps they have a lot of work to do, or that something tragic has taken place. The best thing for them to do during this time could be to give them some space and then to see what happens. Or, they could try and get in touch with them without having the need for a certain outcome to arise. Another Reason After a while, they may soon find out why they haven’t heard from them and everything will then make sense. At the same time, this could be something that happens on a regular basis. It can then seem as though one only hears from them when they want something, or when the other person is in the right mood, so to speak. As a result of this, it is not going to be much of a surprise if one ends up feeling used. Gone Forever Along with these two scenarios, one could find that they don’t hear from someone again after they have gone silent. So if they were to try and gain a response from them, they would be wasting their time. The Next Step When it comes to what they should do when someone is indifferent, it can all depend on how often it occurs and who it relates to. As while one might be willing to put up with a friend who doesn’t always reply to their messages or return their calls, they might not have this outlook if they were in an intimate relationship with someone who behaved in this way. If someone acts indifferent and one continues to put effort into the relationship, they can be wasting their time and energy. It might then be a good idea for them to spend their time and energy on someone who is going to reciprocate. Awareness One is then not doing this to mirror their behaviour and to get a response out of them; they are doing it to let go of someone who is not having a positive effect on their life. And through doing this, it can allow them to open the door to someone who will be happy to give and not just take. If one finds that they have pattern of attracting people who just take, it could show that they don’t value themselves, or that they don’t like people getting to close to them. This is something that can change with the assistance of a therapist.
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If one was to find people who are still at school and to ask them what they want out of life, a number of them may say that they want to be happy. And even if someone as to say that they want to do well in a certain career, it could still be because this can be seen as something that will lead to the same outcome.
The Same Answer Along with this, one is also likely to find that people who are lot older have the same desire. If this is not the case, it can be a sign that they are already happy, and this is then not going to be something they desire. Even so, if one was to go and find these people at another point in time, they might not be experiencing life in the same way. As a result of this, they could be consumed by their need to experience life differently. Pleasure It is not going to be hard for one to work out why someone would have this need; in fact, they might have it themselves. When one is happy, they are going to feel good, and this is going to cause them to experience pleasure. One could believe that they have two options; either they are happy or they are unhappy. Their life is then going to be based around pleasure or it will be based around pain. One Option Thus, it is going to be normal for them to want to do everything they can to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. As far as they are concerned, the purpose of life itself could be to be happy. It will then be necessary for them to do everything they can to avoid being unhappy and the pain that this will create. Now, if one is at the beginning of their life, they could be more invested in this outlook. The Reason This can be due to them not having the same amount of life experience as someone who is older, and this can cause them to be more naive. They are less likely to have had the kind of experiences that will cause them to question how they believe their life should be. On the other hand, if one was older they could see that life doesn’t always go to plan, and that it’s not possible to always be happy. One way of looking at it would be to say that when one is younger they will be idealistic and when they are older they will be realistic. A Time and Place Still, there is clearly a time and a place for both ways of looking at life, and even though someone who is older could be more realistic this is not always going to be the case. Instead, one could be at the beginning of their life and they may have had a number of different experiences. It then won’t matter how old they are, as the experiences they have had will have opened their eyes to the world. And if they have a strong need to be happy, it could mean that what they have gone through hasn’t been very pleasant. Holding On If one is a fully grown adult, the kinds of experiences they have had are not going to have stopped them from wanting to be happy. What they have gone through is then not going to make them question if they can attain this goal; it will simply make them try even harder. But if they do have moments when they begin to doubt if they can fulfil this need, it could be covered up. What is taking place within them is then going to end up being ignored and their need to be happy will soon take precedence. Happiness It is then not just that one wants to be happy, it is that this is something that is incredibly important. One will then be doing the right thing by allowing this to be something that consumes their whole life. That is unless they are able to experience happiness, and then they will be able to settle down and enjoy what is taking place. At the same time, this could be a time where they will be thinking about how long it will last. Pressure Therefore, out of their need to try and control what is taking place, they can end up missing out on the very thing they desire. If they were to detach from what is taking place in their mind, it would allow them to embrace the present moment. Yet even when they have the desire to be happy, this can also stop them from being able to be happy. On one side, they will be avoiding the present moment, and on the other, they will have the need to do something. Resistance What is taking place in their life can then be harder for them to handle, as they will have the need to experience life differently. If they were able to surrender, they may find that they start to feel different. And as they believe that they should be happy, they can feel like a failure if they are unhappy. They may find that they start to experience life differently if they were let go of this need. A Different Purpose One may find that they will have a more fulfilling life let go of the need to be happy all the time and to focus on living a purposeful life instead. This won’t allow them to always feel good, but what it will do is give them something far more substantial. There will be good moments and bad moments, and this will be a lot easier to handle when one is doing what matters to them. By doing what gives their life meaning, they might even let go of the need to be happy all the time. Awareness If one has the need to be happy all the time, it can be a sign that they find it hard to tolerate ‘negative’ emotions. It can then be necessary for them to develop the ability to regulate how they feel, and this is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Entitlement Mentality: Can An Entitlement Mentality Cause Someone To Sabotage Their Success?14/10/2016
When it comes to people who are successful and those who are not, there are often a number of differences in how the behave. Some of these differences might stand out straight away, while others could take some time to appear.
Clarity One thing that successful people often have in common is that they are clear about what they want out of life. Through being this way, it will allow them to do what they need to do to make progress. It could then be said that they will be in touch with their needs, and this will enable them to meet them. Yet, if they were not aware of what they wanted from life, they wouldn’t be able to take action. Floating Through Life If one can relate this, they may feel as though their life lacks direction, and they could then be used to looking up to people who do have a clear idea about how they want their life to be. Or, if this is not the case, they could wonder why they can’t experience life in the same way. Yet regardless of how they respond to people who are this way, they could spend a certain amount of time thinking about how they can change their life. Therefore, although they want know what they want to do, they will realise that this needs to change. Action Now, this is not to say that they will simply sit around doing nothing, as they could still take action. However, when it comes to what they do, it is unlikely to have a positive effect on them. They could end up doing things in order to please others, and it then won’t be possible for them to feel as though they are on the right track. There is the chance that they have never felt this way. Closing the Gap On the other hand, when one is in tune with their needs and wants, it will be a lot easier for them to know what action to take. Still, this is not to say that they will always be able to move forward, as they might have to go sideways from time to time. When this occurs it can seem as though they are going of track and that that they are not going to be able to move forward, but this can be nothing more than an illusion. What it can mean is that they need to trust and let go. A Limit View Ultimately, the mind doesn’t know everything, and this is why what can seem like the wrong direction or even a setback can be the complete opposite. If they had taken the other route, so to speak, they might not have ended up in the right place. Not only that, they can end up achieving something that will be far more fulfilling. What this emphasises is that there are times in life when it will be impotent for one to put their willpower to one side and to go with the flow. A Relationship Through this, one will be working with the universe or their higher needs, as opposed to trying to do everything by themselves. This can then be a relationship that will enhance their life and not make it more difficult. One of the reasons why it can be hard to let go is due to how much attention is given to willpower. It is often seen as the only thing that matters, and if one is not always doing something, they can be seen as being lazy or lacking drive, for instance. Out of Balance This can then cause someone to be a human doing, instead of a human being, and this is going make their life a lot harder than it needs to be. Out of their need to always be doing something, it could stop them from being able to enjoy what they do achieve. From the outside, they can look as though they are living the ideal life, but this could be nothing more than a facade. One could feel as though they are on a treadmill that they can’t get off. Putting the Work in Nevertheless, when one is aware of their needs and they end taking action, they are not going to be in a position where they expect someone else to give them what they want. On some level, they might realise that they can only have something if they work for it. This understanding will inspire them to take action and it will also allow then to appreciate what they do achieve. They will be only too aware of the importance of delaying gratification and being persistent. Another Experience If, on the other hand, one expected people to give them what they want, they are unlikely to get very far in life. But even if they are given things without doing anything, there is the chance that they won’t appreciate them. For one thing, they won’t have put any effort in to attain it, and so it might not have a lot of value in their eyes. What they get can then be taken for granted and they might also be on the lookout for else they can get. Entitlement Mentality And although they could believe that they are entitled to have what they want, this might begin to change. Alternatively, they could end up seeing themselves as a victim, and blame other people for their current circumstances. When they see someone who has what they want or is experiencing life as they would like to experience it, they could see them as being lucky. This will then mean that one won’t be able to accept the fact that they probably had to work for what they have. Awareness Under their entitlement mentality can be a sense of being hopeless, and this then stop them from being able to take responsibility for their own life. And until they change how they feel, they are not going to see that they do have an effect on their life. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
In the past, one would have watched TV, listened to the radio or read a paper if they wanted to find out what was taking place in the world. Nowadays, this is no longer necessary, and this is because they can simply go online.
And, providing they have a Smartphone, they can do this no matter where they are or what they are doing. Therefore, it is far easier for one to stay up to date with what is taking place in the world. No Excuses There is than no reason for one to dedicate their life to what is taking place in order to stay up to date; they can just have a look from time to time. If they were then to come across someone who started to talk about what is going on in the world, there will be a strong chance that they will know what they are talking about. But if one is out of touch with what is going on in the world, it could show that they are caught up in something else. Perhaps they are more concerned with what certain celebrities are doing. A Number of Options When one does go online, they will be able to find information from all the mainstream media news sources. They will each have their own website and they are also bound to have videos available. Even so, this doesn’t mean that one will have to consume what the mainstream media is selling, as they can look towards the alternative media. And while there can be times when the information they provide will match up with the mainstream media, there will be times when it doesn’t. The New Mainstream In addition to the news sources that one will have heard of before, there are going to be others that they haven’t heard of. Or if they have, they may have only hard of them since they started going online to find out what is going on in the world. One could then come to the conclusion that these sites represent the alternative media, but this could be an illusion. These sites could be nothing more than another arm of the mainstream media; with what they report being the same as what one would read about in a paper or see on TV, for instance. Acceptance If one was to talk about what these sites cover or to share their stories on social media, they may find that their ‘friends’ offer their support. This can be due to the fact that a lot of people go along with what the mainstream media sell. It is often seen as the truth, and this is partly down to how long it has been around for. For so long, this was the only news source around and this meant that people didn’t have anything else to compare it with. Alternative Media Thus, as so many people have come to accept what they offer as the truth, it can be normal for one to be labelled in some way if they have different views. One could be described as ‘crazy’, or they might be seen as a conspiracy theorist, amongst other things. These people can then believe that they are level-headed and that one has something wrong with them. As far as they are concerned, one might need to get their head tested. The Only Function Now, this is not to say that everyone one will read about via the alternative media will be truth; it is not going to be this black and white. However, there are going to be plenty of people who believe everything they present is false. These people can experience a sense of comfort in going along with what the mainstream media provide; they can give them a sense of certainty in an uncertain world. And although this will fulfil their reptile brains need for security, it won’t allow their intellect to be engaged. The Ideal Scenario They can then be blissfully unaware of what is actually taking place in the world, and they will attack the people who are willing to take a deeper look. These people can then do what they can to keep their fellow human beings inline. The people behind the scenes, so to speak, will then have less work to do, and this is going to make it a lot easier for them. What this emphasises is that it is not just the people at the top who do what they can to control people; this is something that people can try to do to the people around them. The Same Stories If one was to pay attention to the mainstream, they may find that they focus on a few stories at a time. Not only will these stories will be the point of focus, they can go over the same information again and again. As a result of this, one could find that they start to get fed up with what they talk about; it will be as if a song is on repeat. At the same time, the fact that they hear about the same thing over and over again could cause them to accept it. Repetition What was at one point in time just something they heard about from another source can then end up being seen as the truth. It can be the same as one putting food in their mouth and swallowing it. They won’t take the time to see how it tastes or to chew it; it will go straight into their body. And when one hears something over and over again and comes to see it as the truth, they won’t have thought about it or taken a closer look. The Mind What this comes down to is that if something is repeated often enough and with the right conviction (although this is not always necessary) the mind will internalise it. This information will then define how they see the world and how they interpret what they hear about in the future. And if someone was to question them and to ask them how they came to this conclusion, they could end up getting defensive. Ultimately, what they believe will be the result of what they have been told to believe, as opposed to what they have worked out for themselves. Conclusion There are going to be some people who are more suggestible than others, but this doesn’t mean that some people can’t be controlled by the mainstream media. When one doesn’t go along with what they sell they will use more energy, yet this will give them greater control of their own mind.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
It is often said that the opposite of love is hate and, therefore, if one doesn’t love someone, they are going to hate them. This is then going to be something that is black and white, and that will be the end of it.
A Closer Look However, if one was to take the time to think about how they have been when they no longer love someone, they may find that there is more to it. Or, they could think about what has taken place when someone has no longer loved them. This could be a time when one will see that this wasn’t a time when they experienced hate and/or they may see that this wasn’t the case for the other person. Instead, they may find that they had lost interest in the other person and/or the other person responded in this way. More to It What this then shows is that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. If one experiences hate instead of love, it is going to show that they are still invested in the other person. The emotional experience that they have when they are with them or away from them might be different, but there is still an attachment. And this will also apply to someone who has hated them in the past. As Time Passed After a while, one may have settled down and this hate may have gradually disappeared, or they may have gone to the next stage. One might then have been obsessed with the other person and this would have changed. As if they were no longer emotionally caught up in the other person, there would be no reason for them to think about them all the time. This would then have allowed them to focus on other things and to carry on with the rest of their life. A Relief During the time when one experienced hate, it wouldn’t have had a positive effect on their wellbeing. The energy that they used to feel this way could have been used more productively. So once they got to the point where they no longer cared about what the other person was or wasn’t doing; they may have found that a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Not caring about the other person was then not something negative; it was something that had a positive effect. Another Experience If one was brought up by a parent who was abusive, it can mean that they have experienced a lot of hate towards them. But if this is not the case, it could show that they have disconnected from how they feel and idealised them instead. Yet if they have been able to get to the point where what happened in the past no longer has the same effect, their life is likely to be extremely different. What their caregiver did or what they continue to do is then not going to pull them in. Self-Ownership One can then go from feeling as though they have no control over how they feel and how they live their life, to feeling as though they are in the driver’s seat. They are no longer an extension of their caregiver; they are a separate individual. However, if they were caught up with their caregiver’s life, this would be nothing more than a dream. Their wellbeing would be defined by what their caregiver does or doesn’t do; and this would mean that they are nothing more than a slave. Higher Ideals There could have been a time where one had the need to change the world, and this would probably have caused them to experience a lot of stress. Perhaps this related to something that was far too big for them to alter. One may have taken the time to look into why they wanted to change the world, and this could have been a time when they saw that they were trying to avoid something in their own life or their own feelings. Now, this is not to say that they gave up; what it can come down to is that they now have a different approach. A New Outlook They are then either caught up in what is taking place or indifferent to it; they are simply in touch with what they can do and what they can’t. Ultimately, one can only play their part, and if they were to have the need for a certain outcome to arise, it will only set them up to suffer unnecessarily. The main thing is that they are playing their part and not whether they are able to achieve their desired outcome. When it comes to their desired outcome, it could be more or less out of their control. Indifferent Yet, if one is in a position where they don’t care about anything, it could be said that they won’t be playing their part on this earth. They have the ability to make a difference, but they won’t have the desire to do so. Alternatively, one could act this way when it comes to their friends and/or family, for instance. This could then mean that they won’t have any close friends, or that they don’t repay their family for what they do for them. Isolated It could also be a challenge for them to make progress in their career, as they won’t care about it enough to show the right commitment. Their life is then not going to be very fulfilling and if they don’t put much effort into their relationships, they are not going to have many people around them. Awareness What this then shows is that there is a time and a place to be indifferent, and that it will be up to one to decide when this is. And just because it is right for them to be this way in one moment, it doesn’t mean that this will be the case in the next.
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There are times when the media has a number of things that they focus on, and then there are others when this is not going to be the case. Instead, they can have one area that will take centre stage, so to speak.
Now, this is not to say that a paper or a news channel, for instance, will only talk about one thing; what it means is that more time will be spent talking about one thing than anything else. When it comes to why this will take place, it can depend on a number of different factors. It Matters The reason they are giving one thing far more attention than anything else could be because it is very important. This could be something that that will have a big effect on a large number of people, or it could be something that will soon affect a lot of people. It is then going to be vital for people to stay up to date when it comes to what is taking place (or what will). There are then going to be plenty of other stories that will fade into the background during this period, and this is to be expected. A Distraction At the same time, this could be something that takes place in order to direct people’s attention away from something else. A number of people could be aware of what this is, or it could be a mystery to most people. And through having the spotlight on something else, it can allow someone or a group of people to get away with something. This can then be seen as what the mainstream media do when they want to keep something out of the public eye. Protection One way of looking at this would be to say that this is similar to what a big brother might do to their younger brother. What they do is not for themselves, it is to look after their younger sibling. It is then a selfless act and they are doing this out of the love that they have for them. However, if the media does something like this, there is a strong chance that they are doing it to protect themselves as opposed to them having the need to look out for the general public. One Focus Even so, one could say that this can’t be the case or the media wouldn’t expose what certain corporations do, for example. And while this is something that can’t be denied, the only thing it proves is that they don’t have the need to be loyal to everyone. Therefore, if they expose some kind of corruption, it is likely to show that it won’t have a negative effect on them. It is then not that they want to inform the public; it is that it is in their best interests to share it. Now and Then What they share with the general public is then something that won’t have a negative effect on them and it may even allow them to fulfil a certain agenda. But this is not to say that the agenda they have won’t be shared by anyone else, as they are likely to be other figures and corporations that are behind them. Thus, it could be said that the mainstream media doesn’t exist to inform people, they exist to fulfil the needs of the people behind the scenes. From the outside they look as though they only have one propose, but this is nothing more than a facade. A New President And when the mainstream media focuses on one thing more than anything else, it can be a sign that it is only a matter of time before a new president is elected. It is then going to be a challenge for one to be out of touch with what is taking place. If they are, it could be due to them living in a cave, or on the edge of society, for instance. But even if they were living on the edge, they could still stay up to date by using the internet. Indifferent So some people, it won’t matter who is running for president as they won’t care; in their eyes, they could say that they are all the same. It then won’t matter who is in change as nothing will change. On the other hand, there will be others who will vote for the same party as they always do, and it is then not going to be important what they stand for or what their policies are. Along with this, one could be drawn to one party due to the sex of their leader, amongst other things. Evidence If one is loyal to one candidate, they can have the tendency to look for information that proves they are the best candidate and to block out anything that proves otherwise. One can then end up being blind to the facts and it won’t matter what they do or say, as they won’t change their mind. It could then be said that one will have developed certain beliefs and these beliefs will define their behaviour. Their ability to think critically can then be out of action and this can mean that their thinking brain can also be offline. Both Ways Nevertheless, even if one doesn’t have a preference and they looked towards the mainstream media to inform them about each person, it doesn’t mean that they will get a balanced perspective. They may also find that he mainstream media is more concerned with digging up drama than with looking at what each person stands for. But this is not to say that they will look at what each candidate has done in the past, as they might only do this with one candidate Through doing this, they can make one person look like a good option and another as someone who needs to be avoided. In Control This can then allow them to control who people will vote for, and this will show that they don’t want people to think for themselves. Through presenting stories that will cause people to experience an emotional reaction, they will be less likely to think. If they were to focus on the facts and what each candidate would do if they were in power, there would be a greater chance that peoples thinking brain wouldn’t be out of action. They could then think critically and decide who would be right. Why Do This? It might be hard for one to understand why the mainstream media would have this approach, given how important this is. Yet if one was to find out who is behind the mainstream media, this is likely to soon change. The people who own the mainstream media have vested interests, and so if the wrong person was to get in power, it would have a negative impact on what they want to achieve. Ergo, they don’t want to inform people, they simply want them to unknowingly go along with their hidden agenda.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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