It doesn’t take much effort for one to realise that not everyone on this planet has the same amount of money. Yet this is not the only area in the world where there is a difference – this is one of many. Not everyone is the same height, has the same hair colour or eye colour, for instance. So based on the fact that the world is full of people who look different, the fact that there is a difference in how much people are worth could be seen as normal. This is not to say that it is ‘right’ or ‘fair’, what it means is that it is another example of how different each person’s life is on this planet. Miles Not Inches But while there are slight differences there are also monumental differences when it comes to how much money people have. To use height as an example - another person is not a few inches taller; they are a few miles taller. The majority of people will be able to afford a chocolate bar but there will be certain amount of people who will have enough money to buy the chocolate factory. This shows how much of a difference there is. Passed Down If one was to look into the people who have the more wealth than the minority, they would see that it is often passed down from one generation to another. It might go back a few generations or it could go back even further. There are also people who have come from nothing and have been able to create their own fortune. This shows that one doesn’t have to be born with a ‘silver spoon in their mouth’ in order to be wealthy. Overlooked However, when people place their attention on the fact that some people have more than others, they are not always interested in how they got their money. What they are focused on is the fact that some people have far more than others and how this is ‘not right’. In some cases, this will be the result of someone’s efforts and therefore, they will have earned it and for others, it will be the result of the family they were born into. So if one has not been born into the ‘right’ family, there is still the chance that they can create their own wealth. Location This is not black and white though, as it can all depend on what part of the planet one is born in. If one is born into a first world country, it could be said that they have a greater chance of creating wealth than if they were born into a third world country. Yet, there are people who were born in a third world country who have been able to create wealth just as there are people who are born into a first world country who haven’t. There are clearly many different factors involved. Some people rise up against all the odds and there are others, who don’t embrace the chances they are given. Dividing the Wealth However, let’s put these factors to one side and imagine a world where all the wealth was divided equally. Everyone would be equal, (at least financially) and there would be no reason for people to feel victimised in this area of their life. Each person is then in the same position and unless they put their money together with someone else, they will be able to afford the same thing/s. But it is unlikely to be long until the divide is created once more and one only needs to look at what happens to the people who win the lottery to realise this. The Lottery For some people, the lottery is seen as the answer to the problems in their life; if they win, everything will change for the better. In the rare chance that one does win, their life is bound to change. This change is often short-lived though, as the majority of people who do win end up in the same position, (if not worse), than they were in before. What this shows is that wealth is not simply about what is taking place externally; it is also about what is taking place internally. Relationships The same thing also applies to relationships and how what is taking place within someone will play a part in how healthy their relationships are. If one used to being abused and then they were given the chance to be with someone who was respectful, there is a strong chance that it would soon be over. What will feel comfortable for them will be being walked over and treated badly. They will need to change what is taking place within them in order to feel comfortable with someone who treats them well. Money It has been said that attracting money is one thing and another thing altogether to hold onto it. If one wins the lottery and wants to hold onto the money they have won, it will be important for them to change what is taking place within them. This comes down to the fact that there was a reason they didn’t have much to begin with – it wasn’t random. Just as if the money of the world was divided, some people would have to change their beliefs around money or they would soon end up where they started. Awareness While external change is important, it has to be backed up with inner change. If this doesn’t take place, it might not be long until everything returns to how it was before. What this also means is that one is not simply a victim of circumstances and that they are playing a part in what does or doesn’t happen. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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There are the changes that one can make in their own life and then there are the changes they can make in the world. And as one is part of the world, what takes place in their life can end up affecting the world. The internet has given individuals the power to make more of a difference than ever before. One doesn’t need to be part of an organisation and neither do they need the backing of a big company – they simply need to create a blog or a video for instance. This can all be done without one needing to have much money in the bank; all they need to have is a message and the desire to share the message. It is then possible for one to influence people from all over the world without needing to leave their home or the area where they live. A Platform In the past, people didn’t always have the chance to speak out and to express their grievances, but they now have a platform where they can speak their mind. While some people are selective in regards to what they share on the internet, there are others who show little, if any, restraint. On one side it has given people the chance to do something they have never been able to do before and on the other side it has meant that this can all be done without one needing to monitor what they say. This means that one doesn’t need to be too careful about what they say or to check if is accurate. Two Types of Change When one has problems, they can try to change what is taking place externally, focus on what is taking place within them or place their attention on both sides. There are going to be times when one will need to focus on what is taking place within and times when they will need to place their attention on what is happening without. If one was to only focus on what is happening within them, they would soon lose touch with reality and they wouldn’t take the action they need to allow their inner changes to materialise. Just as if one was to only focus on what is happening externally, they would overlook the part they are playing in what is happening externally. Personal Reality How one experiences life can be seen as the truth and how life is; this means that one is simply observing reality and having no effect on their experience. However, one’s experience of life is based on their perception and everyone on this planet has a different perception. The people who have a similar outlook are likely to get on and to be close friends, and they could even come to conclude (either consciously or unconsciously) that their view of reality is reality. Yet, no matter how many people agree with them or how convincing it is, it is still a perception. So when one is experiencing a problem in their life or a number of them, it is going to be important for them to look at what is taking place within them. Perception This is not to say that one’s perceptions are an illusion and have nothing to do with reality. What this means is that one is not simply observing reality, they are playing a part in what they see or don’t see. At times when one is annoyed about something, they will need to face the challenge head on and at others, it will be a sign that they need to look within. Once they change what is taking place within them, their perception of their outer challenge can also change. Change Through this, one might no longer experience the same challenge and if they do, it might no longer affect them. Yet, in order for one to change their perception of life they will need to be aware of what is happening within them and to then change it. When one is not aware of what is taking place within them, it doesn’t mean it will have no affect on their life. Instead, it will play a part in what causes one to experience a strong emotional reaction. It’s Out There If one is out of touch with what is being triggered within them, they could end up believing that what is taking place externally is the cause of how they feel. This could then cause them to try to change ‘the world’ as opposed to changing what is within them. When this relates to something that might affect a lot of people or one is around people who also have the same challenge (and as the people one surrounds themselves with reflect them on some level, this is to be expected), it can be harder for one to realise what is taking place within. Another Approach If one was to step back and look at what is causing their need to ‘change the world (and this doesn’t mean that one’s desire to for external change is therefore a ’bad’ thing), they could soon feel uncomfortable. Focusing on external problems is then a lot less painful than it is for them to look at and process their own emotional pain. To go within could cause them to feel emotions that are painful and yet by keeping their attention on what is wrong externally, it could cause them to experience emotions that cause them to experience a sense of control. All the time their attention is on what is taking place externally, they could experience anger and rage and if they were to go within, they could feel powerless and/or helpless for example. Awareness Let’s say that one does look at their inner pain and that they deal with it, they might still have the same need to change ‘the world’ or they might be drawn to something else. Nevertheless, at least they will be aware of what their motivation are and if their actions are making the world a better place of if they are adding to the problem. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Positive Thinking: Can Positive Thinking Cause Someone To Become Emotionally Disconnected?9/11/2014 If one is into self-development, positive thinking is going to be something they are familiar with. But even if this isn’t the case, this is still likely to be something that one is familiar with. It could be something they have heard of and that’s about as far as it goes, or it could be something that defines their life. This is going to mean that some will use it periodically and others will use it practically all the time. When they come across people who are negative, they might end up telling them to ‘think positive’. If one doesn’t ‘think positive’ and they are around someone who does, they could soon change or they could end up being repelled by them. The Saying It is often said that if one smiles, the world will smile with them. Based on this saying and many others like it, one has a reason to be happy or ‘positive’. If they are unhappy or ‘negative’, the world will give them more reasons to carry on being the same. As one’s thoughts can define how they feel and feeling good feels better than feeling bad, thinking positive is clearly better than thinking negative. If one does think negative they are not going to feel good and the world might not ‘smile with them’ either. Two Reasons This shows that there is the difference that will be made on the inside and what takes place on the outside. When one uses their thoughts to lift them up, they could be more likely to move forward and to achieve their goals. One’s inner support will then be backed up by the support of others who are drawn to their positivity. What is taking place externally will then validate how they feel on the inside and this could then cause them to feel even better. Inner Dialogue Whether one is aware of what is taking place in their head or not, it is still having an effect on their life. What goes on here will define what one does or doesn’t do and will play a big role in how successful they are. As a result of this, one cannot afford to ignore what is going on in their head; this doesn’t mean one has to become obsessed. They simply need to be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy. Self-image When one has positive thoughts their inner dialogue is going to be supportive and this will also have an effect on their self-image. It could also be said that one’s self-image will play a part in how one talks to themselves. What this means is that it works both ways - so how one talks to themselves will affect their self-image and their self-image then affect how they talk to themselves. But if one hasn’t got a positive self-image, then it will be important for them to change their inner dialogue. A Common Outlook It is often said that it is what’s going on in one’s head that is defining how they feel. This means that it is one’s thoughts that are in control of how they feel. Based on this outlook, if one wants to feel good they will need to ‘think positive’. If they feel bad it is because they are having ‘negative’ thoughts and that’s all there is to it. Therefore, whenever one feels bad or down it will be important for them to have positive thoughts and then before long, they should feel better. A Half Truth One then makes sure their inner dialogue is on their side and once this happens, their feelings will also change. Like a torch that one shines on what they want to see, their thoughts will trigger the feelings they want to feel. However, while it is said that one’s feelings are caused by their thoughts this is a half truth. Their feelings can also cause their thoughts and this means that if one is trying to change how they feel by how they think, they could be doing more harm than good. Denial If one believes their thoughts are creating their feelings, then ignoring how they feel is not going to be seen as a problem. As their thoughts created their feelings in the first place, by thinking differently, one will just feel different. But by thinking differently and not acknowledging how they feel, one can end up denying how they feel. Their feelings won’t just disappear; they might end up being pushed out of one’s awareness and staying in their body or what is typically known as the ‘unconscious mind’. Emotionally Disconnected Positive thinking can then cause one to disconnect from how they feel and this means their mind is no longer working with their emotional body. Instead, their mind is in direct option and a split has then occurred. If they do feel good, it could have nothing to with how they really feel and everything to do with the fact they are avoiding their true emotional experience. This doesn’t mean that one has to allow their ‘negative’ emotions to control them, what it means is that one contains how they feel. Emotional Containment Here, one is aware of what is taking place in their body and doesn’t deny what is taking place. What is taking place in their body is seen as information and as something that can guide them to the answers they need to move forward. The reason they feel as they do could be because they are carrying trapped emotions in from their body. Therefore, if one denies how they feel not only are they disconnecting themselves, they’re sabotaging their own growth. When one deals with how they feel, it could cause their mind to settle down, their self-image is likely to improve and their inner dialogue will also change for the better. Awareness Thinking positive doesn’t have to mean that one denies how they feel - one can think positive and embrace how they feel. Through this, can be a whole human being and not someone who is dead from the neck down. If one doesn’t feel comfortable with their emotions it could mean they have an emotional build up or an experience that needs to be processed. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ While is it one thing to feel responsible for one’s own life, it is another thing altogether to feel responsible for other people. Even though one is not responsible for other people, it doesn’t mean they feel this way. That is unless they have a young child or children for instance and then this is not the case. This also doesn’t mean that one should be completely selfish and forget about the needs of others either. But what it does mean is that one can only do so much for others. If one was to give up their own needs in order to fulfil the needs of others, not only are they going to end up running on empty, they are also going to stop the other person from taking responsibility for their own life. Each person then ends up being disconnected from something within them. Disconnected The person who feels responsible for other people is going to be disconnected from their own needs. It is then going to be normal for this person to feel drained, overstretched and as though the weight of the world is on their shoulders. When it comes to the other person who is used to having people take care of them, it is not going to be possible for them to feel a sense of personal power. They could believe that they are incapable of doing something by themselves or that life is too much for them. Needs One is likely to be an expert when it comes to not only noticing the needs of others but also being able to fulfil them. However, when it comes to their own needs, one might struggle to know what they are and to therefore fulfil them. Their point of focus is on being there for other people and doing everything they can to please them. In fact, it might not be something they do; it could be an Identity that they have created. Identity Being selfless is often seen as something to aspire to and this means that one is unlikely to look ‘bad’ in the eyes of others. Others could say how ‘good’ they are and how one is an example in the world of how people should be. One could then end up feeling proud and as though they are doing the right thing. In their mind and to others, the alternative could be to be selfish and to ignore the needs of others. To be selfless is then the ‘best’ option and it might not be possible for one to see that there is a third option. Boundaries If one was to only give they would be out of balance and this is because one also needs to be able to receive. Not only that, one will end up feeling exhausted and have very little energy. As a human being, one has needs and unless they take care of these needs, they are going to suffer. This is where boundaries come in as they will allow one to manage their time and energy. At times, one will be able to be there for others and then there will be times when they can’t be there. Career For example, when one is at work they will have a have certain responsibilities and the same thing will apply for someone who is self-employed. Once one has finished work or what they were doing for their own business, ones priories will change. If one didn’t have a break from work or they had to constantly work on their own business (and there might be times when this is perfectly normal), they would soon burn out. When one believes they are responsible for others, they are not going to be able to put their needs to one side. No Choice Even if one doesn’t want to say yes it is not going to make any difference. Saying yes to others could be something that just happens without one having to think about it. There is also the chance that if one said ‘no’ they would soon feel guilty. It is then guilt that stops them from standing up for themselves and putting their needs first. The guilt could be unbearable and make it impossible for one to think rationally. As human beings have needs and this is nothing to be ashamed of, it can be hard to comprehend why one would feel guilty and ashamed for having them. The Cause The reason one feels responsible for others and guilty when they don’t meet their needs could be due to what happened during their childhood. This may have been a time where ones caregiver/s used them to fulfil their own needs. Ones needs would have been overlooked and one came to believe that their needs were not important. If one ever put their needs first they would end up feeling guilty and then ashamed for having them. Under The Emotions Guilt relates to when one has done something bad and then this means they could be punished. Shame on the other hand relates to the experience of one being bad and this could then lead to being abandoned. What happened during one's childhood took place many years ago and yet how one felt all those years ago may have remained trapped in their body. If one stopped being responsible for others these emotions would soon arise. Awareness These emotional experiences of the past will need to be faced and released, and this can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Along with the guilt and shame could be the feeling of being abandoned and that one is going to die. Saying no to others doesn’t mean one is a bad person, it means they have boundaries. Unless one is able to take care of their own needs they can’t truly be there for others. At times one will have to so no and to put their well-being first. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ One could be with someone and believe that they are the one, and in the next moment it could all be over. They could also be with someone who doesn’t have the same effect and then before long, this person is no longer part of their life. How close one feels to another person won’t necessarily define how they will feel when a relationship comes to an end. A sense of loss can arise even if one was in a relationship that needed to end. This could be because the other person was abusive or unhealthy, or it might just come down to the fact that one no longer feels attracted to the other person. In this case, one has changed and they are not the person they used to be. It could also be the other way around, and one might have been abusive or unhealthy and this caused the other person to leave them. Their partner may have changed and was therefore no longer attracted to them. Change Nothing lasts forever and if one is in a relationship that is not life enhancing, this is going to be seen as a good thing. If, on the other hand, they are in a relationship that is life enhancing or makes them feel good at certain times, it could be seen as a ‘bad’ thing. One has then lost someone who was having positive influence on their life and there is nothing they can do about it. That is unless the other person changes their mind through choice or one manages to convince them to come back. The Outcome If the other person comes back, it might mean that their relationship continues as it was or that it gets even better. The loss that one experienced is then put to an end and one is able to feel good once more. Yet, if the other person doesn’t come back, one is going to have to face how they feel or to find a way to change how they feel. This could cause one to find someone else to take away the pain. The other person could be in their life for a few hours or one could find themselves in another relationship. Processing The Pain Another option would be for one to face their pain directly and to process how they feel. The pain that one is experiencing might go beyond what is currently taking place in their life, and could include emotional pain that has not been processed from their childhood. By working through this pain, one is not going to be taking it into their next relationship or letting the pain define how they behave. When this pain is not dealt with, one could find themselves in the same situation all over again or they could end up acting in a way that is destructive. The Power Of Emotions When one’s relationship comes to an end or something happens that could put it at the risk of coming to an end, it could be hard for them to maintain their ability to think clearly. No matter how rational they normally are, their emotions could end up taking over. Their thinking brain could end up being out of action and their emotions and survival instincts have taken over. With their ability to think no longer available, anything could happen. An Individual Before one met the other person, they may have seen that they were a separate person but as time passed and they became closer to them, they might have seen them as an extension of themselves. This can then cause one to overlook the fact that the other person is an Individual with their own needs, feelings and thoughts, for instance. When the relationship comes to an end or if the other person goes with another person while they’re still in the relationship, one can end up feeling betrayed. This could be described as a natural response; especially if one has been with the other person for a while or felt close to them. Emotional Containment However, just because one feels a certain way it doesn’t mean that they should act on how they feel or that it reflects what is taking place. The feelings might have more to do with how they felt as a child than what is currently taking place. What this means is that unless one has emotionally separated from their primary caregiver, they could see other people as an extension of themselves. When one sees the person they are with as an extension of themselves and not as an individual, they can feel as though the other person belongs to them. Regression This is similar to how they would have viewed their primary caregiver whilst growing up. Here, one wouldn’t have had boundaries and therefore wouldn’t have realised that their caregiver had their own thoughts, feelings and needs. Physically one is no longer a child but how they feel can reflect how they felt as a child. Through feeling as though the other person belongs to them, the sense of betrayal that they feel can be taken even further. Revenge One can then use their mind to justify why the other person deserves to be taught a lesson. As one feels as they do, they are then entitled to do what they need to do to get back at the other person for leaving them, cheating on them or something similar. However, other people are not completely responsible for one feels and one doesn’t own other people either. If one seeks revenge on someone who cheated on them or who is simply no longer interested in them, they are violating them. As Ghandi once said - An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind". Awareness One approach would be for one to own how they feel and for them to process their feelings. This is not to say that one accepts or approves of how the other person has behaved what it means is that they take responsibility for their own feelings. If this is the option that one decides to take, they might need the assistance of a therapist, healer or a trusted friend. It could also mean that one needs to express how they feel to the other person but this can be done in a way that doesn’t cause one to lose their dignity. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ It is often said that while relationships have the power to lift one up, they also have the power to bring them down. So one can experience just about every emotion on one side of the spectrum at one moment and then experience just about every emotion on the other side of the spectrum at another, and with the same person. And while it is human nature to seek pleasure and to avoid pain, it doesn’t mean that one will leave a relationship that causes them to feel bad. The other person could be someone who is bringing them down and making their life a misery and yet, one doesn’t leave them. Conflict This is not the same as if one was in a relationship that had the odd moment of conflict or unease; as this is normal and not necessarily a sign that one is with the wrong person. When two people get together, they each have their own reality and their own needs, and so it is to be expected that there are going to be moments where conflict arises. However, this conflict can be dealt with in a way that is functional and not in a way that leads to abuse or drama. Each person can be respected and honoured for who they are and this can allow the emotional connection they have to stay in intact or to grow. Avoidance Another approach would be for one to avoid conflict and to just ignore anything that is creating tension. In the short-term this might allow one to avoid pain, but the long-term consequences could be severe and outweigh the short-term gain. But all the time one is avoiding what is taking place, they might not be thinking about what could take place in the future. As their primary focus could be on doing everything they can to avoid having to face the reality of how they feel. Feeling Good When one feels good in a relationship and everything is going to plan, it is going to be relatively straight forward. This could be a sign that the relationship is in its early stages or it could be because there is an absence of conflict. During these moments, blame is not going to arise and one is going to feel connected to the other person. Here, one will have no reason to contain what is taking place within them and this will mean that they’re able to express how they feel. Feeling Bad If on the other hand, one doesn’t feel good in a relationship, it is not going to be as straight forward. And this could mean that the honey moon period is over or that the other person is not a match. Here, one might not feel connected to the other person and they could start to blame them for how they feel. During these moments, there will be a greater need for one to contain how they feel and for them to express themselves in the right way. The Natural Response When one is with another person and they feel a certain way, it might be normal for them see the other person as being the cause of how they feel. And if they feel appreciated, love and valued for instance, then it is going to lead to a certain outcome. If, on the other, one doesn’t feel appreciated and they feel ignored for instance, it could lead to another outcome. Through feeling this way, one could end up blaming the other person for how they feel. Emotional Experience Even though one can believe that the other person is causing them to feel as they do, it doesn’t mean this is actually true. Instead, the other person might simply be triggering what is already inside them. And even if the other person is playing a part in how they feel, it is going to be important for them to own their feelings. This means that one doesn’t blame the other person for how they feel and lose all emotional control; it means they contain their emotional experience. Containment This means that one doesn’t react to how they feel and neither do they deny how they feel; they use their feelings as information. For when one blames the other person for how they feel, they could to end up being defensive and this could push them away and create resentment, amongst other things. When one contains how they feel and owns their emotional experience, it allows them to take responsibility. They’re aware of where they begin and end and where other people begin and end. What this shows is how important boundaries are, when one doesn’t have them, one is not going to be able to own their emotional experience. Emotional Awareness Through having boundaries and containing how they feel one will be able to be aware of what is taking place with them. And as a result of being emotionally aware, it will give them the chance to own their experience. When this doesn’t happen, their feelings are always going to be seen as being caused by someone else. So not only will one not be taking responsibility for how they feel, but they could also push the other person away and it will be harder for them to experience intimacy. Awareness If one has very little, if any, emotional control, this could be a sign that they have an emotional build up. As this build up is dealt with, they will begin experience more emotional control and their emotional awareness will also increase. Their relationships are also going to improve. These emotions can be released with the assistance of a therapist or a header. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ While some people say money makes the world go round, other people say that it is love that makes the world go round. Each outlook deserves to be heard and the outlook that one has is likely to depend on what they’re like as a person. If one was an idealist they might say it is love and yet if they are a realist, they might say it is money. But if one was to step back from both of these options, it is clear to see that the world goes round no matter what people believe. What their outlook will also reveal is what it is that drives them, or at least what they think is it that drives them. Some people might say it is money that drives them and other people might say it is love. There are also going to be people who say that both of these things push them forward. The Difference However, although money always represents the same thing, the same can’t be said about love. With money there can be different currencies and the value of the currencies can change, but what it represents doesn’t change. Love on the other hand is not always the same, even though the same word is used. It can all depend on what ones relationship is with the person in question. And not only that, but one can say they love an animal or an object that they own. The Meaning So just like someone who has plenty of money and ends up throwing it around, one can throw the word ‘love’ around too. It then doesn’t matter if they are talking about a human being or an inanimate object or an animal. Therefore, the word is the same, but it is not always going to mean the same thing. In fact, it could be nothing more than a saying that one has and there is then no much to it. At other times when one uses the word, it is going to be a lot more significant and this is because the word will have a different meaning. Behind The Word If one was asked to describe what they mean when they say they love someone, they might say it depends on who the person is. For instance, if one is married and they say they love their husband/wife, it is not going to be the same as the love they experience for a friend or a family member. Just as the love they have for a car is going to be different to the love they have for their pet dog or cat. However, although there will be differences there are also likely to be similarities. When it comes to describing what love is, it is often said that it is a feeling that one experiences. Behaviour And as one feels a certain way, it then causes them to behave in a certain way. This is how the love that one feels becomes visible to other people. Without the behaviour to back it up, it is not possible for other people to be aware of the love that one feels for them or for another person. But unless one felt the love on the inside, it wouldn’t be possible for them to show it on the outside. So this means that it has to start somewhere and one area that is associated with love is the human heart. The Human Heart For some people, the heart is nothing more than something that keeps them alive; with its function being purely biological and there is nothing more to it. There are then going to be other people who see it as something more and based on their experience, it has an intelligence of its own. One might then see that there is not only the brain in their head that has something to say, the heart is also there with its intelligence/wisdom and then there is the body that also has another way of expressing itself. This has also been described as the triune brain. Pure And Simple So if one was to move their point of awareness to their heart, they might soon realise that it is a place of warmth and peace. It is free from judgement and criticism; it is understanding and accepting. There are no conditions that one has to fulfil and this is something that will never change. It is going to be normal for some people to connect to the heart in this way, but there are going to be some people who are unable to do this. And this could be due to the emotional pain that they’re carrying. Far From Simple And Pure There is the heart and what is has to express, and at the same time, it is not possible for one to always express their heart to the world. What this means is that human beings have a heart that is unconditional with its love, but in order to survive and to thrive, they have to create conditions. This is done to protect their mental, emotional and physical well-being. For there are going to be times when the best thing one can do is to walk away from someone and to withdraw their love. Not only will this be in ones best interests, it will also be the best thing one can do for another person. Another Factor One thing that can stop love in its tracks is when there is control. The body is then taking over and ones heart is not being given the chance to express itself. This could also be a sign that one is carrying emotional pain or trauma in their body. Awareness So one outlook is that loves comes from the heart and this love can then change when it is combined with ones bodily needs or their intellect. The human heart is unconditional with its love, but it is not possible for human beings to express their love without conditions being in place. If one has trouble connecting to their heart and expressing their love to themselves and to others, it could be a sign that they need to engage in some kind of emotional work. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ If one was to watch a film that had no colour or sound, it is not going to be the same as a film that has colour and sound. It is unlikely to be as engaging or as entertaining, and one might soon lose interest and turn it off or walk away from what they’re watching. And the same could be said about the impact that feelings have on one’s life. If one was unable to feel, their life would feel empty and without meaning. Through having the ability to feel, life is brought to life and given meaning. Feelings are to one’s life what colour and sound is to a film; a film wouldn’t be the same without colour and sound and one’s life wouldn’t be the same without feelings. This is not to say that one always likes what they see or what they hear, just as one is not always going like how they feel. Good And Bad There are going to be times when one feels good and times when they feel bad. And if one was asked if they would like to feel good all the time, they might end up saying yes. They might believe that their life would be better if they could only feel good all the time. Then there are going to be other people who realise that all feelings have a purpose. If one always felt good, it would soon lose its meaning; it is through having the ability to feel bad that one is able to appreciate feeling good. Reality One’s life will not always go to plan and there are going to be times when one needs to face reality head on. And this could be mildly painful or it could be extremely painful, but the sooner one faces what is taking place, the sooner their life can change. Here, one is not going to feel good, but as a result of how they feel, one is able to become aware of what needs to change. The alternative would be for one to deny how they feel, and to pretend that everything is fine. Short-Term Solution In the short-term, one is going to feel better but as time passes, what they are denying could end up becoming far worse. The feelings that are there to inform them that something is wrong are not being given the chance to be heard. And this is one thing that can happen when one has the need to always feel good and the inability to face their so-called ’negative emotions’. If one was simply comparing them with emotions that make them feel good, then they would be negative, but if they saw them as feedback they might have a different outlook. Caught Up So while one approach would be for one to avoid their feelings, another approach would be for one to end up being consumed by them. Even though they are not avoiding them, it doesn’t mean they will be able to listen to them. Instead, one could end up being caught up in them and unable to use them to their advantage. It is then not possible for one to use their feelings as information, as their feelings are causing them to feel paralysed. The Ideal To ignore them or to become consumed by them is not the ideal approach; what one needs to do is to be able to be aware of how they feel and to take the appropriate action. This will give one the ability to use their feelings as feedback, as opposed to trying to control how they feel or allowing their feelings to control them. While ones feelings might reflect reality and give them the insight they need, they might not have anything to do with reality. But due to how powerful feelings are, it is easy for one to see them as a reflection of reality. A Closer Look So one could feel guilty and end up believing they have done something wrong, they might feel ashamed and believe that they’re bad, they could feel abandoned and end up believing that they’re alone or they could feel powerless and then come to believe that they have no control over their life. When these or other feelings arise, there may be something taking peace externally that matches how they feel or there might not be. But just because there is something taking place externally, it doesn’t mean that one’s feelings are connected. Triggered There is the chance that these feelings have nothing to do with what is taking place and are simply being triggered from within. They might relate to an experience or a number of experiences that took place many years ago, but while what happened is in the past, the emotional experiences have remained trapped in one’s body. What is taking place externally and how they are thinking is then bringing these feelings to the surface. If one is able to remember where these feelings came from they might be able to see what is taking place. Awareness These feelings could be due to what has happened during their adult years and their childhood years. One will need to release these trapped emotions and this can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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