If a man was to end up in an intimate relationship, he may find that he feels fairly comfortable. Perhaps he is with someone who he has a good connection with and is physically attracted to.
There is then going to be no reason for him to keep this area of his life to himself, with him being happy to tell other people about the woman he is with. Along with this, he will feel comfortable having her around when he is with friends and family. Part of Life Ultimately, he will be in a relationship with someone, which is a normal part of life. Therefore, there is going to be no reason for him to hide this part of his life or to make sure that certain people are not present when he partner is around. Now, this is not to say that they will always be together; they are both going to be individuals, after all. There will be the needs that he has and there will be the needs that she has. The Most Important Voice If one of his friends or family members had an issue with the woman he is with, he may be happy to listen to what they have to say. This will give the other person the chance to express their concerns and for him to reflect on what has been said. Still, even if one of his friends or family members had an issue with her, it doesn’t mean that he would simply end the relationship. He will be a man not a boy, meaning that he will make his own decisions. Ready What this is likely to show is that this man is emotionally available, with this being the reason why he is able to have an intimate relationship. To get to this point, he may have had to work through a fair amount of baggage. He may have had at least one previous relationship that had a big effect on him that he needed to grieve. Doing this work will have allowed him to open up the growth and healing that can come about through having a relationship. Another Experience However, although there will be men who can relate to the experience above, there will be others who can’t. Consequently, they are going to end up feeling uncomfortable when they are in a relationship. At the same time, this might be an understatement; this could be something that causes them to be emotionally overwhelmed. Something that should have a positive effect on them is then going to be having a negative effect. A Closer Look If a man is able to connect and to describe what is taking place for him at an emotional level, he may find that he is experiencing a fair amount of guilt and shame, and he may even feel trapped. Due to how he feels, he could come to the conclusion that he is doing something wrong. What he could then do is end the relationship or to gradually pull away from the woman he is with. Yet, even if he decides to stay, it is highly likely that the woman will notice that something isn’t right. A Shift The man will still be there, but what the woman may sense is that he is no longer as present as he used to be. If the change is instant and not gradual, she may start to wonder what has happened to the man she was with before. His whole disposition may have changed, or gradually change as time goes by, which could cause her to believe that she has done something wrong. It could be as though her partner is there but, for some reason, he is no longer reachable. An Abrupt End If the relationship does come to an end more or less as soon as the man experiences these feelings, it will be normal for the woman to feel responsible. This can show that the man ended the relationship in order to put an end to how he was feeling. If, on the other hand, he didn’t leave the relationship straight away and simply shut down instead, he will have tried to fight his emotions. The downside is that through doing this, it would have caused him to lose a big part of himself in the process. What Is Going On? What this can show is that the man is emotionally attached to his mother, not in the healthy sense of having a good connection with her, though; but in the unhealthy sense of being enmeshed to her. This can be a man who, deep down, feels as though he is an extension of his mother. Thus, through being so attached to his mother, he will feel as though he is betraying her by being with another woman. He will then look like a man on the outside, but he will feel like an undeveloped boy on the inside. In The Beginning During his early years, his mother probably wouldn’t have respected his boundaries or met his needs. Instead, it was highly likely that she walked over him and used him to fulfil her needs. His father either wouldn’t have been around or if he was, he would have most likely have been emotionally unavailable. Due to the father not being emotionally unavailable and the mother most likely having her own issues - one of her parents may have used her in the same way - she would have used her son as a replacement. Another Form of Abuse Growing up, it might have seemed as though he was his mothers ‘special’ boy or even a mother’s boy, and that he was treated well. In reality, his mother was likely to be emotionally undeveloped and used him to meet her needs, which caused her to neglect her son. As a boy, the man would have had to disconnect from his aggression and his sexual aspect; the two elements that would have allowed him to individuate. Add in the fact that his developmental needs were not met, and it is not much of a surprise that he is in an undeveloped state. Awareness One approach that could be put forward here is for the man to simply change his behaviour, but this is unlikely to solve anything. This can just result in the man letting go of one false-self, only to replace it with another. There is a strong chance that the man is carrying a lot of emotional pain, with a lot of this pain being caused by all the needs that were unmet when he was small child. One of the most important things for him to do will be to grieve his unmet childhood needs. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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If someone sees themselves as an empowered human being, it means that they won’t have a victim mentality. Likewise, if someone has a victim mentality, they won’t see themselves as an empowered human being.
What this illustrates is that one can’t be both; they are either one or the other. At the same time, even if one does see themselves as an empowered human being, it doesn’t mean that they won’t feel like a victim from time to time. Back On Track For example, something could take place in their life that wipes them out, with them feeling as though the world is against them. Still, it might not be long until they come to their senses and realise that this is not the case. One could see this as just their mind playing tricks on them, and, as they are feeling a bit under the weather, it will have been easier for their mind to exert its influence. Like an intruder, it will have noticed an opening and pounced. A Choice Generally, they are going to believe that they are someone who has control over their life. There will be what they can do and there will be how they can respond to what happens to them. In other words, even if one can’t do anything to change something, they still have control over what takes place in their own head. This will stop them from getting sucked into things that are out of their control. Emotional Experience One may find that they have the tendency to feel not only empowered, but to also feel capable, at peace, connected, and grateful. Being thankful for what they have, as opposed to getting worked up about what they don’t have or what is not going their way, will undoubtedly have a positive effect on their wellbeing. It will also be a lot easier for other people to be around them; whereas if they had an entitlement mentality, it would be a different story. Their energy will be far more appealing to others as a result. A Fulfilling Existence Another benefit of living in this way is that one is going to have the right mentality to meet their needs and to achieve their goals. When it comes to their career, for instance, they may be doing something that is deeply rewarding. This area of their like could be backed up by the relationships that they have with other people, with them having a number of people in their life who they can be themselves around. They may also be in intimate relationship with someone who they appreciate, or have been with someone like this not too long ago. Another Reality So, when someone has a victim mentality, it is not going to be possible for them to feel like an empowered human being. Or, if they do end up feeling empowered, it won’t be long until they return to how they usually feel. In their eyes, the world, along with most of people in it, will be out to hold them back in any way that they can. As a result of this, there are likely to be a number of negative feelings that they are used to experiencing. Emotional Experience At times, they may feel angry, frustrated and full of rage, while at other times, they could feel powerless, helpless, and hopeless. When they feel angry and even rageful, they will most likely feel strong but, when they feel helpless, they will most likely feel weak. There may even be times when they feel as though they are morally superior to others; as unlike others, they are not keeping anyone down in life. This might be the only way that they are able to experience positive feelings. Held Back Due to feeling as though they are being kept down by others, they could have an entitlement mentality. They are not going to be able to fulfil their needs and to achieve their goals because of these people, so these people will have a duty to give them things. After all, it won’t be as if one is choosing to experience life in this way; it is something that is out of their hands. And, what will prove this is how angry they are about how they are experiencing life. Clear Resistance If they were comfortable with what is taking place, and happy with not being able to fulfil their needs, they wouldn’t be getting angry. However, even though part of them doesn’t want to experience life in this way, it doesn’t mean that a bigger part of them wants their life to change. What they may find is that experiencing life in this way is what feels comfortable at a deeper level. Consciously, then, one will want their life to change but, unconsciously, this can be what feels safe. A Closer Look It might be hard for them to comprehend how feeling powerless and helpless, for instance, can feel safe; especially as its causing them lead a miserable existence and to experience so much pain. The thing about their ego is that it can end up feeling comfortable with anything; the only thing that matters is that it is familiar. To this part of them, what is familiar is associated as what is safe, and, the reason why experiencing these feelings can be what feels safe, can be due to what took place at the beginning of their life. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected, setting them up to gradually become emotionally attached to feeling this way. Awareness When one doesn’t understand how what is taking place at a deeper level is influencing their life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim. It will appear as though other people are victimising them, even though they are the ones who are victimising themselves. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or healer.
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As human beings are not their own island, it means that they need others in order to survive, let alone thrive. So, regardless of whether it relates to emotional or financial support, it will be provided by other people.
But, even though there will be people on this planet who find that the support that they need is generally provided, there will be others who have a very different experience. Consequently, their life can end up being extremely challenging, and they may, from time to time, even think about whether or not their life is worth living. The Ideal When someone doesn’t have trouble being supported, it doesn’t necessarily mean that their emotional needs will always be met or that they will necessarily be a millionaire; what it means is that they won’t be used to feeling as though they are invisible and they might not worry about money either. They may have a number of people in their life who are there for them, no matter what takes place. And, even if they end up in a position where they have to watch what they spend, this might soon change. Connected One will then be a separate individual, physically speaking, but it will be as if they are part of something much greater. Somehow, the support that they need to live a fulfilling life will find them. At the same time, this is not to say that someone will generally need to have their emotional and financial needs met in to live a fulfilling life, but it will certainly help. Solely having close connections with others will have a big effect on ones wellbeing, and being financially supported will be even better. An Analogy In the same way that a tree will look separate from other trees, one will also look separate from other people. Yet, in the same way that a tree will be connected to other trees and the planet through its roots, one will also be connected to everything else. But, unless one has a very strong connection to themselves and their other senses, they might not realise this. Nonetheless, even if they are not aware of this, they will still be reaping the benefits. The Illusion of Separation If they have special glasses, for instance, they would be able to see that they are not separate from anything. This is then why what they need has the tendency to find them - it is simply part of them. It might be hard for someone to hear this, especially if they have a strong connection with their mind. The reason for this is that this part of them sees everything from a place of duality. Another Scenario When someone is unable to relate to the above, and the support that they need is generally not provided, their life is likely to be a one long struggle. Even if people are there for them on the odd occasion and if the money they need does show up at times, this may just remind them of how tough their life usually is. It will be like driving an old banger and then driving a sports car, only to go back to the old banger a little while later. Therefore, as good as this will be, they may prefer to not have these moments. One Long Battle One may spend a lot of effort, and use a lot of willpower, trying to change their life. For example, they may have a number of jobs and work every hour under the sun, just to make ends meet. Still, what they do might not be enough, with them not having enough money to meet their basic needs. Their relationships with others might not be much better ether, with them finding it hard to experience deeper connections with others. Disconnected One is going to want to feel support in life, but it is not going to be possible for them to make this a reality. Thus, even though they won’t be separate from anything, it will be as if they are cut-off from life. What is clear is that living in this way is causing them to suffer, and, as this is causing them so much pain, there is no way that they are playing a part in all this. With this in mind, it could be said that one will be powerless to change their life. Diving In This might seem to be the case, but what they could find if they were to take a deeper look within themselves is that experiencing life in this way is what feels comfortable. Consciously, then, one will be resisting what is taking place, but, unconsciously, this can be what feel safe. At a deeper level, they can have a strong need to keep the world, along with the people in it, at a distance. If they don’t do this, they could end up feeling overwhelmed and as though their life will come to an end. Why is this? What this can show is that their early years were a time when their boundaries were violated on a regular basis. Due to their caregiver’s lack of empathy and attunement, they would have got too close to them, and they may even have physically abused them. Subsequently, they would have come to associate closeness as a threat to their survival, with keeping people at a distance being what felt safe. Responding in this way would have been a way for them to handle what was taking place at a time in their life when they were extremely vulnerable and powerless. Awareness The trouble is that while keeping their distance from their caregivers would have served them as a child; it is no longer helping them now that they are an adult. The only thing it is doing is causing them to suffer unnecessarily. Fortunately, with the right assistance, one will be able to change what is taking place at a deeper level, enabling them to gradually develop a sense of safety and security, so that they can open up to the support that is around them. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is not uncommon to hear about how oppressed certain people are, with this being something that is often spoken about on social media and in the mainstream media. This is often seen as something that primarily affects minorities and women.
Therefore, white men are in a very privileged position, as there is absolutely nothing holding them back in life. In fact, white men are often portrayed as the ones who are holding everyone else back. A Way of life So, if someone is a woman or minority, they could be in a position where they feel as though the whole world is against them. And, no matter what they do to try to change their life, they may find that they only get so far. The reason why they are not able to break through the prison that they are in will then be due to white men. These people, who will be seen as a stain on the earth, will be their main problem. Another Experience However, while there will be the people who have bought into the whole ‘all white men are evil’ who feel oppressed, there will be others who feel oppressed who haven’t. If someone has, it can show that they have spent a number of years being indoctrinated in college/university. In this case, someone can feel oppressed even if they don’t believe that all white men are the problem. Somehow, someone like this won’t have absorbed a lot of the propaganda that is disseminated on a daily basis by the establishment. One Area They can feel restricted in just about every area of their life, finding it hard to express themselves. It may seem as though there is an invincible force out there that is intent on keeping them down. When it comes to their job, they could have a boss who is overbearing, and their colleagues might not be any different. Therefore, during their time at work, they are likely to feel weighed down. Another Area If they are in a relationship, they might not feel any different when they are around their partner. This person could be controlling from time to time, or they might be like this all of the time. Going home is then not going to allow them to feel free and at peace, as their partner will cause them to feel just as restricted. If they were to look back on their life, they may find that they have been with a number of people like this. Emotional Experience As a result of what happens in their day-to-day life, there is a strong chance that they are used to feeling angry and frustrated. There could also be times when they are overwhelmed by rage and hate. They could believe that if the world changed, there would be no reason for them to experience these feelings. These feelings are then going to be a perfectly normal response to what they have to go through each day. Conflict Based on how worked up this person is getting through experiencing life in this way, it is going to be perfectly clear that this is not how they want to experience life. It could be said that one of their greatest needs is to no longer feel oppressed. Thus, if another person was to suggest that they are addicted to feeling oppressed, they would be entitled to get angry. One could say that if this was so, there would be no reason for them to experience so much resistance. Two Levels Nonetheless, just because one is consciously resisting what is taking place; it doesn’t mean that they are not unconsciously accepting what is taking place. To their unconscious mind, feeling powerless, helpless and trapped could be what is familiar and, therefore, what feels safe. What this then means, is that they have a strong attachment to feeling this way - these feelings will be big a part of their identity. Having experiences that enable them to feel oppressed, along with interpreting situations in a certain way so that they feel oppressed, will be what feels comfortable. Self-Knowledge Unless one is unaware of the effect that their unconscious mind is having on their life and is only aware of what is taking place in their conscious mind, they will continue to believe that they have no control over how they experience life. This will mean that they are a victim. Something ‘out there’ will continue to be seen as the problem, as opposed to what they are emotionally attached to within themselves. The reason why experiencing these feelings is what feel safe at a deeper level is likely to be due to what took place during the beginning of their life. The Foundations This may have meant that they were abused and/or neglected, but it might not have been this severe. Even if they were not abused and/or neglected at this stage of their life, they would still have had moments when they felt powerless, helpless and trapped. As time went by, feeling this way would have come to be associated as what is safe, as it would have been familiar. This part of them doesn’t discriminate, which is why negative feelings and circumstances can be associated as what is safe even though they are destructive. Awareness Now, this doesn’t mean that oppression doesn’t exist; what it comes down to is that if someone feels comfortable with being oppressed, they are more likely to experience oppression. If someone can see that they are emotionally attached to feeling this way, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Before the alternative media came along, the mainstream media pretty much had complete control. What this meant was that it was normal for most people to believe just about everything this source came out with.
Nowadays, thanks to the alternative media, this source doesn’t have the same amount of control as it used to have in the past. But, while their influence over people has waned in recent years, it would be a mistake to believe that his source is on the way out. Old Habits Die Hard People of all ages pay attention to the mainstream media, just as there are people of all ages who don’t. What has undoubtedly given the mainstream a life line is the ease at which someone can consume what they sell due to modern-day technology. As long as someone has some kind of device, they can download what this source has to say no matter where they are. There is then no need for someone to watch TV or to listen to the radio, as they would have had to have done in the past to take in information from this source. Another Factor What has also played a part here is that is appears as though a lot of people are conditioned to believe things during their time in the education system that are in alignment with what the mainstream media comes out with. Said another way, the narrative that they are encouraged to buy into at this time is no different to the narrative that the mainstream media promotes. Therefore, it is as if this is a time when the foundations are laid, enabling them to accept what comes after. The all-knowing authority figures that they have at this time of their life (teachers) will then be replaced by another set of authority figures (news readers and ‘journalists’). Breaking Away However, even though there are people who won’t be able to think for themselves after spending a number of years in the education system, there will be plenty of people who will. Somehow, the indoctrination that they were exposed to at this time in their life won’t have completely lobotomized their brain. They will have managed to have developed critical thinking skills, the very thing that the education system will have most likely tried to condition out of them. Through having the ability to think critically, someone like this won’t be able to simply accept everything this source comes out with. Resistance The mainstream media is only too aware of the fact that there are people who are looking towards other sources and that more people will follow suit as time goes by. Ergo, like a gangster that has controlled a town for a number of years only for another gangster to appear, they are not taking this lying down. They have a number of tools to try to keep people in line, with one of these tools being to do what they can to destroy someone’s image. At other times, they will do what they can to destroy a websites image. Keeping It Simple This source of information will be aware of the fact that most human beings have a fear of being ostracised, which is why they will use the power of association to destroy anyone or anything that goes against their narrative. So, once a person or a website is seen as being bad, it will cause a lot of people to keep their distance. It will then be very similar to how a child won’t touch something after its parents have told them not to. Due to what the child has been told and has ended up internalising, it would experience guilt and shame, along with the fear of being rejected and abandoned, if they were to go against their parents demands. Operant Conditioning Let’s say that someone says something that goes against the accepted narrative, the mainstream media probably won’t even bother to disapprove what has been said; instead, they will label this person. This person will then end up being dehumanised, which will cause a lot of people to stay well away. It then won’t matter if what this person says is accurate and something that people need to hear, as the mainstream media will have tarnished their image. Through absorbing this conditioning, someone can end up experiencing guilt and shame, along with the fear or being ostracised, if they were to look into what this person has to say. Self-Control The mainstream is then not going to have to worry about someone like this thinking for themselves and finding out about what is really going on. Due to how this source has portrayed the people who go against the accepted narrative, one will do everything they can to keep themselves inline. When someone keeps themselves in line and doesn’t need anyone else to do it, they are surely the perfect slave. Someone like this won’t even realise that they are being controlled, which will stop them for rebelling. Conclusion The fact that the mainstream media uses this approach is just more evidence that their sole purpose is not to inform people. Ultimately, their main purpose it to define how people think and to lead them down a certain path. And, if anyone gets in the way of their mission, they will do everything in their power to destroy them in one way or another. This doesn’t always work, of course, and this shows how the world is changing.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are people in today’s world who have trouble with their anger, with this being something that has taken over their life. But, while there are people like this who reach out for support, there are others who don’t.
If someone in this position was to reach out for assistance and ended up changing their behaviour, it would make their life a lot easier. Through doing this, it would also mean that the people in their life would no longer need to experience this behaviour. A Force for Good It will then be a lot easier for the people in their life to settle down and to relax in their presence. In the past, some of the people in their life may have been on edge, in preparation for their next outburst. If there were people in their life who have kept their distance, some of these people might be more receptive to them. Ones health is also likely to benefit from them being able to keep their cool, as opposed to getting worked up so often. Business as Usual If someone in this position doesn’t reach out for support, their life will continue to go down the same trajectory. The people in their life will also continue to be on the receiving end up their outbursts. Yet, although some of these people will stay around, they may find that as time goes by, a number of people cut their ties with them. This will be a way for these people to look after their own wellbeing, and it can be a way for them to encourage one to change their behaviour. How So? Some of the people can believe that if one notices what is taking place, it might finally become clear to them how destructive their behaviour is. Telling this person directly won’t have worked, so maybe an indirect approach will work. It then won’t be direct, but there is the chance that it will have more of an effect on one than simple staying around them, hoping that they will change. Another person could believe that staying around them is just validating their behaviour; whereas cutting their ties will send them a clear message. A Mountain Out of Mole Hill During the moments when one gets angry, it could be something that takes place when something doesn’t go as expected or if someone tells them that they haven’t done something right. Straight after this, or shortly after, they could become consumed with anger. Their ability to behave in a rational manner is then going to disappear, with them coming across as though they have absolutely no-self control. One minute they can be clam and then next minute they can explode. One Angle One way of looking at this would be to say that this shows that they are somewhat of a perfectionist. Out of their need to get everything right and to do their best, it is a real shock to their system when something isn’t in alignment with their high standards. Not meeting their high standards then causes them to feel angry about how they have fallen short. If this is the case, it will be vital for them to realise that it is not possible for them to get everything right. Anger Management But, regardless of whether one can relate to this or not, they may be told that they need to learn how to manage their anger. Thus, in the same way that someone who is overweight will need to manage their hunger pangs, one will need to regain control of their anger. One could then end up going down the behavioural therapy route, focusing on the thoughts that they have before they get angry. By no longer getting caught up in these thoughts and breathing deeply, for instance, their behaviour may gradually change. A Band-Aid However, while this person’s anger could be seen as the real problem, it could be said that their anger is just a defence. What they may find, that’s if they were to put their anger to one side, is that they feel worthless and helpless, amongst other things. Therefore, if they no longer felt worthless deep down, they would no longer need to use this defence. With this in mind, focusing purely on their anger is not going to resolve the real issue – the only thing it will do is manage a symptom. A Closer Look When one is out of touch with how they feel at a deeper level, and is only aware of how they feel at a surface level, they can create the impression that they don’t want to feel worthless. This is then why they are getting angry when something doesn’t go as expected or when they do something wrong, for instance. Even so, although they are consciously trying to resist how they feel deep down by getting angry, they are unconsciously attached to feeling worthless. So, if one is only aware of what is going on at the first level, they can deceive themselves into believing that they are not attached to what is taking place deep down. A Big Part of Them At a deeper level, feeling worthless and helpless, amongst other things, will be what is familiar and, therefore, what feels safe. Feeling this way will be a big part of their identity. If they were not emotionally attached to feeling this way, they would have no reason to get so worked up. Getting angry can be seen as a sign that they don’t want to feel bad, when in reality; it is a sign that this is what feels comfortable. Self-Knowledge What this illustrates is that there is what is taking place consciously and what is taking place at a deeper level (or unconsciously), and, without this understanding, it can create all kinds of difficulties. There is a strong chance that they felt worthless and helpless during their early years, and that this gradually become what felt comfortable as time went by. But as the years passed, they would have ended up losing touch with what took place. Different defences would have built up over the years, disconnecting them from themselves in the process. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Is someone hated themselves, and they were to embrace how they feel, it would undoubtedly have a negative effect on their wellbeing. In the same way that filling a boat up with water would cause it to sink, embracing their self-hate would most likely cause them to sink.
It would end up being more or less impossible for them to feel good about themselves, causing them to feel down and even depressed. This would end up becoming an experience that they are accustomed to. Two Sides The abuse that they experience on the inside, as a result of how their inner critic talks to them, is likely to be coupled with the abuse that they experience on the outside. And, when someone does treat them badly, they can have the tendency to just tolerate it. If another person was to witness them being treated badly, they might have a strong need to tell them that they don’t deserve to be treated in this way. But, one is going to believe that being treated in this way is just what they deserve. Less-Than As they believe that they have no value, it will be as though there is no reason for them to be treated well by others. Being treated well by others is bound to feel strange and not something that sits well with them. So, unlike other human beings, it will be as if there is something that is inherently wrong with them. This could mean that there are even moments in their life when they think about ending their life. A Relief Doing this might be seen as something that would finally bring an end to the pain that they are experiencing. They may also believe that the world would be far better off without them, with their existence being a stain on the world. Then again, this might not cross their mind and they could just end up killing themselves slowly, with this being an expression of the death instinct. This can take place by not eating enough or eating too much, being around people who are dangerous, and/or abusing alcohol or drugs, for instance. A Miserable Life Unless someone like this reaches out for support, they are going to continue to live a life that is not worth living. And, even if they don’t end their life, they will punish themselves as much as they can while they are alive. One way of looking at this would be to say that they need to wake up or to snap out of the state that they are in, to see that they are not worthless. Breaking out of this state and no longer supporting the identity that they have formed will be vital, as this will allow them to gradually understand that they are valuable and that they are on this planet because they deserve to be. Another Scenario On the other side of this will be what happens when someone disconnects from their own self-hate. While the person above will be in a very low place, this person can end up going to a very high place. This is then not going to be a boat that sinks to the bottom of the ocean; it will be a boat that floats up to the sky. One is not going to see themselves as being less-than others; they will see themselves as being more-than others. A Superior Being Regardless of what position they hold in society, they can come across as though they are better than others. Other people could often describe them as being self-righteous and even deluded. Perhaps they belong to a religion or social causes play a big part in their life, with this being something that reinforces their belief that they are different to others. If they are very much into social justice, they can have the inclination to put people down who have different views to them. The Main Priority In their eyes, what they believe will be right and the people who have other views will be wrong. Being into social justice, and even politics, will allow them to constantly show how virtuous they are. They will need to receive a fair amount of positive feedback from others each day in order to keep their true feelings at bay. Through having such a strong need for positive feedback, they can end up supporting just about any cause. A Release Criticising the people who are seen as bad will not only allow them to receive positive feedback, it will also allow them to let go of some of the hate that is within them. In the same way that someone can hit a punch bag to let off steam, this person will verbally abuse others to let off steam. Through projecting their own hate onto others, certain people will remind them of what they have lost touch with within themselves. Their need to destroy these people, or simply to destroy their reputation, will be a futile attempt at trying to destroy the part of themselves that they hate. A Destructive Force The amount of damage that someone like this can do, can all depend on what position they hold in society. If someone is the leader of a country, they could project their self-hatred onto another country, seeing this country as the problem. Alternatively, someone like this could project their hate onto the person they are in a relationship with or onto the opposite gender. No matter who they project it into, it is likely to create more drama in the world. Awareness When someone projects their self-hate onto others as a defence against experiencing their own self-hate, it is unlikely that they will be open to working with a therapist. Through being completely out of touch with themselves, other people will be seen as the problem, not them. But, if this defence was to come crashing down and they were to come face-to-face with their own pain, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When someone holds themselves back in life, there are at least two things that can take place. If one is not aware of the fact that they are holding themselves back, they can come to see themselves as a victim.
On the other hand, if one is aware of the fact that they are the ones who are holding themselves back, they will be able to take a deeper look into why this is. By taking this approach, they will be able to liberate themselves over time. The First Outcome If someone is not aware of why they are holding themselves back, and is only aware of what they have been doing to move forward in life, they could believe that there is no way that they are playing a part in all this. One could reflect on some of the things that they have done over the years, seeing how hard they have worked. Perhaps they get up in the early hours most days and only go to bed once they have ticked off everything that they needed to do. There will then be absolutely no doubt about how committed they are to their own growth. Plenty of Evidence Along with what they generally do on each day of their life, there can be all the courses that they have been on. They may go on a few courses a year, or maybe they go on at least one course a month. In addition to this, there can be all the books that they have read on success and achievement. As far as they are concerned, every part of them will want to move forward and to go to the next level. An Indivisible Barrier But, no matter what they do to move forward, they will find that they can only get so far. Now, there may be times when they are able to make a breakthrough, but before long, they may soon return to where they were. It is then going to be a case of one or two steps forward and one or two steps back. When this happens, one could come to believe that a certain person or a certain group of people are holding them back. More Force Their mental and emotional state could radically change after one of these moments, only for them to rise up again shortly after; this will then prove how resilient they are. This is also likely to show that one will be using a lot of willpower. Living in this way is most likely going to cause them to experience a fair amount of pressure, pressure that could knock them down from time to time. If another person was to suggest that they may be the ones who are holding themselves back, one may end up being consumed by anger or find what has been said amusing. One Direction One could believe that this person doesn’t know what they are talking about, seeing them as someone who just wants to pull them down or hasn’t got a clue what they are talking about. One will be out there working hard, not waiting for anything to fall into their lap. What could make it ever harder for them to handle what is going on is if they come across someone who is making clear progress, even though they don’t appear to be working very hard. It may seem as though someone like this has something that they themselves don’t have. One Solution During times like these, one may believe that this shows that they need to try another approach. Nonetheless, what they may find is that changing their approach doesn’t really do anything. One of the things that they may have learned at one point in time was that they were being held back by low self-esteem. Yet, even after they had worked on this, their life still didn’t change. A Closer Look Due to how they experience life, there are likely to be a number of negative feelings that they are used to experiencing - that is, of course, if they don’t have the tendency to repress these feelings. They can feel powerless, helpless, hopeless, trapped, and worthless during the moments when they reflect on how they life is or if they experience a setback. One way of looking at this would be to say that they only experience these feelings because of what in taking place in their life. Thus, if their life was to change, they would no longer experience these feelings. Emotionally Attached Another way of looking at this would be to say that feelings these feelings is what feels comfortable. And, only does it feel comfortable, these feelings are a big part of their identity. Clearly, feeling this way is not what feels comfortable at a conscious level; yet, unconsciously, feeling this way can be familiar and, therefore, what feels safe. Taking this into account, their conscious mind will want something that is seen as threat to their unconscious mind, which is why it is so hard for them to change their life. One Need The reason why feeling this way feels comfortable can be the result of what took place at the beginning of their life. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected, for instance. Feeling this way would have gradually become what felt comfortable and these feelings have become part of their identity. The trouble is that as the years passed, different defences would have been put in place, causing one to gradually lose touch with the information that would allow them to realise why they sabotage their own life. Awareness What this emphasises is how important self-awareness and self-knowledge is when it comes to being able to grow and develop. When one doesn’t have self-awareness and self-knowledge, it will be perfectly normal for them to feel like a victim. If one can see that they are the ones who are holding themselves back, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Naturally, someone’s life is going to be far more fulfilling if the people in their life are able to respect their boundaries. Having friends, family members and even a partner who can do this is going to make it easier for them to express themselves.
When this takes place, these people will probably realise that one, along with every other human being on the planet, is not an extension of them. It is then not going to be right for them to tell one how they should live their life or what they should be doing in each moment of it. Freedom Due to how these people come across, one will know that it is safe for them to be themselves. This will stop them from needing to have their guard up and having to put on an act. And, if they need their advice or guidance, they will know that they will be able to reach out without needing to worry about being walked over. These people will then offer their advice, but they won’t end up trying to take over. One Area If one is in an intimate relationship with someone who is not controlling, they won’t have lost their ability to act like an individual. Said another way, there will be what one chooses to do with their partner and there will be what they choose to do by themselves. This will stop them from losing touch with their own needs and feelings, allowing them to express their true-self. One is going realise that the same will apply to their partner, accepting that they are also an ivnoddual who has their own needs and feelings to take care of. Two Adults One of them is not going to treat the other as though they are an incapable child who needs to be saved. What this will show is that both of them are able to see where they begin and end and where the other person begins and ends. At the same time, there could be moments when one of them regresses and is unable to realise that the other is not their parent, but this won’t be the norm. If it was, it would most likely end up having a negative effect on their relationship. Looking Back Someone like this could look back on their life and find that they haven’t been with anyone who is controlling. Or if they have, it may have been a relationship that soon came to an end. This will show that, regardless of how much they liked the other person; they were not willing to tolerate this type of behaviour. Then again, they may have been with a number of people who really overstepped the mark. A New Beginning Even so, they will have been able to put these experiences behind them and to finally be with someone who has boundaries. Perhaps they worked with a therapist for a little while, in order to change this area of their life. If so, the work that they put into this area of their will have paid off in a big way. They will have been able to grow by working with a therapist and now, they will be able to grow by being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t inhibit them. A Different Reality But, while there will be people in the world who are not with people who try to control them, this is not going to apply to everyone. For a lot of people in the world, being with someone who is not controlling will be nothing more than a pipe dream. When someone is in this position, they may currently be in a relationship with someone who is controlling. Alternatively, they may have recently finished with someone like this, with this being a time when they are doing what they can to build themselves back up. A Pattern Either way, if they were to look back on their life, they may find that they have been with a number of people who are like this. They are then going to have a strong need to be with someone who doesn’t try to control them, yet this is something that doesn’t take place. If they are currently with someone who is controlling, they may find that they are used to feeling angry, frustrated and even powerless, and they may spend a fair amount of time complaining about their partner to their friends and family. Two Levels It will be clear that one doesn’t want to be with someone like this; this will be the last thing that they want. It would then be accurate to say that one just happened to end up with someone like this, along with every other controlling person who they have been with. At a deeper level, however, there is the chance that one is emotionally attached to feeling controlled and dominated by others. Consciously, this will cause them to experience pain but, unconsciously, this can be what is familiar and, therefore, what feels safe. Identification As this is what feels comfortable at a deeper level, not feeling this way would cause them to feel uncomfortable. Putting an end to these feelings and the controlling behaviour that they experience is going to be in their best interest, but their unconscious mind would see it as a threat to their survival. What this comes down to is that this part of them can form an attachment to, and an identity around, positive or negative feelings. When this is understood, one will be able to see why they are experiencing life in this way; when this isn’t, they will most likely feel like a victim Awareness During their early years, they may have had at least one controlling caregiver, and this would have played a big part in why being controlled feels comfortable at a deeper level. What they resisted at this stage of their life will be what they are unconsciously drawn to as an adult. Fortunately, with this understanding in place, one will be able to realise that they can put an end to what is taking place. To change what is taking place at a deeper level, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is easier than ever before for someone to find out about what is taking place in the world. They no longer need to turn on a TV or a radio, for instance; the only thing that they need to do is to use their Smartphone.
Through having a device like this, they will be able to connect to just about every news organisation in the world. One option will be for them to click on an app; another option will be for them to go directly to a news website. No Limit In the same way that one would be able to eat as much as they want if they were to go to a buffet, one will be able to consume as much news as they want. From morning until night, they can read article after article, or watch video after video. And, by taking all this information in, it can be normal for someone to believe that they are aware of what is going on. It will be as though one is drinking from the fountain of truth. Filtered News But, although one may believe that they are drinking pure water, so to speak, this is unlikely to be the case. It is highly likely that what they are consuming has gone through a number of different filters. So, like water that has had a number of things added to it; what they hear about won’t be pure. Not only this, there will be a reason why they hear about certain things but not others. A Big Illusion It would be easy to say that this is because some things are more important than others, and this is true, yet there is more to it. Therefore, while someone can believe that they are ‘informed’ about the world; there is the chance that they only know what certain people want them to know. Fortunately for these people, if someone believes that they are being informed, they are less likely to question what they are told. The narrative that the mainstream media presents will be seen as the truth, as opposed to a story that has been created. The Perfect Scenario If someone believes that they are informed as a result of what the mainstream media tells them, they could be seen as the perfect citizen. Someone like this can also criticise anyone whose views are different to what this source comes out with, seeing them someone who buys into ‘fake news’. Unlike this person, they will only pay attention to credible news sources – mainstream news sources. Undoubtedly, it is better if someone doesn’t realise that they are being conditioned to perceive the world in a certain way; that way, they won’t put up any resistance. An Analogy This is then tantamount to how someone is more likely to eat everything on a plate if they have been told that it is good food. If they were aware that it wasn’t, they would no longer put it in their mouth. The view that someone like this has of the mainstream media will stop them from taking a more critical view. If they were to do this, they would no longer be willing to swallow just abut everything this source comes out with. Too Much However, irrespective of whether someone accepts everything that this source comes out with or not, they may find that they end up feeling weighed down by all this information. Thanks to the fact that the mainstream media typically focuses on what is not working in the world, it can cause someone to feel pretty helpless. In addition to what is not working in the world, there will also be what is not working in their own life. The fact is they are only going to be able to do so much, and, by focusing on what they can’t change, it can make it hard for them to be aware of what they can change. Overextended If they feel responsible for things that are out of their control and overlook what they are responsible for, it is not going to make the world better. The only thing it will do is cause them to feel burdened by life and to experience unnecessary stress. What this comes down to is that they, along with every other human being on the planet, are not designed to worry about so many things. Being aware of so much just overwhelms them, which is why consuming so much news is not good for their mental and emotional wellbeing. Worn Down One could find that not only does their mental and emotional health suffer, but that their physical health is also affected. It will then be a challenge for them to solve the problems in their own life, let alone the problems of the world. Without a strong sense of personal power, it will be a lot harder for them to have a positive effect on the world. One way of looking at this would be to say that the mainstream media has taken their power away; another way of looking at it would be to say that one unknowingly gave it to them. Conclusion It might be hard for someone to comprehend why the mainstream media would want them to feel powerless; after all, how would it serve them? Yet, if the mainstream media is simply an arm of something else, it might make more sense. This arm, along with the other arms, is then there to make sure that the citizenry don’t rock the boat. Clearly, it is far easier to control people who feel completely helpless than it is to control people who are empowered.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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