Child Abuse: Can It Be Easy For An Abusive Parent To Get Away With Abusing Their Child?

If someone was attacked in a public place, they could end up paying a visit to a police station. They will have been harmed, so naturally they will want to do something about what has happened.

If they were attacked in a public place, there is a chance that at least one camera recorded what happened. Assuming that this is the case, this footage is likely to end up being used as evidence and the perpetrator will probably have to face the consequences of their actions.

A Different Scenario

From this, it could be said that this is an example of how someone should behave if they are attacked and what should happen afterwards. However, if someone is harmed by their parent, they can keep what is going on to themselves.

For one thing, due to how young they are and the fact that the person who harmed them is their parent, they might not realise that they are being harmed. Or, if they do realise this, they can believe that this is what is normal.

Denial

Another part of this is that as they are powerless and dependent on their parent, they are going to have the need to block out what is going on. At this stage of their life, it will be too much for them to accept that their parent is dangerous and doesn’t love them.

Therefore, to handle what is going on, they will need to block out reality and how they feel. This will involve them blaming themselves for how they are being treated and living in the hope that, if they do what this parent wants, they will be loved.

Hiding it All

There is then going to be no reason for them to tell anyone else about what is going on when they are not at home. But, if they were to even think about doing this, they could soon be filled with guilt and shame, and they could experience fear, too.  

What this comes down to is that, as they will see themselves as bad and their parent as good, if they were to tell another about what is going on, they would be betraying their parent. Not only this, but, they are likely to fear that, if they do talk about what they are going through, their parent will find out and harm them even more.

The Past is present

They can then spend a lot of time around people who are safe and would protect them if they knew about what is going on but it won’t matter. As the years go by and they become an adult, most, if not all, of what took place during this stage of their life can be a mystery.

In other words, their conscious mind won’t remember much about what happened. Thus, although they will be an adult and won’t be powerless and dependent on the parent who harmed them, their brain will still be doing what it can to block out what happened and won’t realise that this stage of their life is over.

The Next Stage

Nonetheless, they could have one or a number of experiences that end up undermining the defences that they have in place. As a result of this, some of the pain and memories that have been repressed for a very long time can enter their conscious mind.

Thanks to this, they can end up looking for answers and over time, come to see that their early years were anything but nurturing. After a while, they can have the need to talk to their parent about what happened and hope that this will be a time when what they went through is acknowledged.

A Brick Wall

This might take place, but, then again, this might be a time when they are unable to make any progress. If the latter takes place, it can be because their parent denies that they mistreated them.

As far as this parent is concerned, they might have been a very good parent, giving them everything they needed. And, no matter how many times they talk to this parent, the outcome could more or less be the same.

Additional Support

Moreover, other family members and friends could back up what this parent says. This can show that they saw a very different side of this parent and can’t accept that this was not the only side that they had.

From this, they could conclude that this parent is not going to validate what they went through or empathise with them and express remorse. They might see that looking toward this parent for anything will hold them back.

The Truth

Fortunately, they don’t need their parent’s validation to be able to move on; this is something that can be provided by a therapist or healer, for instance. With this support, they can also gradually work through their inner wounds and, over time, be able to know, at the core of their being, that they didn’t and don’t deserve to be mistreated.
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This means that they were not and are not worthless or unlovable. Most likely, their parent had also been mistreated during their formative years, but, as they hadn’t dealt with the impact that it had on them, they passed on what was done to them, or something that was very similar.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk