Child Abuse: Can Someone Believe That They Are Worthless If They Were Abused As A Child?

Deep down, someone can have the sense that they are worthless. However, even if this is something that is outside of their couscous awareness, it doesn’t mean that it won’t have a big impact on their life.

So, there can be the impact that this has on their inner world and on their outer world. When it comes to the former, they can spend a fair amount of time feeling low, doubting themselves and talking themselves out of doing things.

The other Side

When it comes to the latter, they can have people in their life who mistreat them, have a job that is soul-destroying, and neglect themselves. Their inner world is then not going to be somewhere that is very pleasurable and neither is their outer world.

Yet, this could just be what is normal, which can stop them from doing anything to change their circumstances. They could also believe that this is just what their life is like and there is nothing that they can do about it.

External Feedback

Now, if another person was to become aware of what is going on for them externally, they could wonder why they live in this way. What could enter their mind is that they dont need to live in this way.

What this could show is that this is someone who has a sense of their own value. But, if this is how their life has always been and they haven’t had to develop this as an adult, they probably won’t know what it is like to be on the other side, so to speak.

The Next Step

If this person were to speak to them about this, they might listen to what they have to say and that could be it. Alternatively, they could listen to what they have to say and agree.

Nonetheless, that could be about as far as it will go, with them carrying on as a normal. Then again, what they are told could leave a mark and over time, as the days, weeks and months pass, they could think about what was said.

Stepping Back

Assuming that this is the case, they could wonder why they experience life in this way. They could see that their life has been this way for as long as they can remember.

What could then enter their mind is that they were just born this way and there isn’t anything that they can do. Yet, even if they do come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that this is the truth.

Another Angle

There is a chance that their life is this way due to what took place during their formative years and the impact it had on them. This may have been a stage of their life that was anything but nurturing.

One or both of their parents might have been abusive, with them being abused in a variety of different ways and neglected. They might have often been verbally put down and physically harmed, along with being isolated.

A Brutal Time

A stage of their life, then, when they needed to be in an environment where they felt safe and supported and were loved, was a stage when they were in an environment where they felt unsafe and unsupported and were deprived of the love that they needed. What they experienced would have deeply wounded them.

To handle what was going, their brain would have repressed how they felt and number of their needs. The outcome of this is that they would have lost touch with their embodied, feeling self.

Another Element

And, as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place. This would have involved them believing that they were treated in this way because they were worthless and unlovable.

They were not in a position to be able to see that their parent or parents were probably deeply wounded and couldn’t provide them with the love that they needed. Forming this belief would have also given them the hope – the false hope – that if they kept struggling for their love, they would be loved.

A New Reality

With this in mind, they are not worthless or unlovable; these are just beliefs. Still, the pain that they are carrying and what is going on for them externally can make it harder for them to accept this.

For them to change their life, they will have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper