Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be An Unfeeling Human Being?

Although someone will have a mental and an emotional self, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with both of these selves. What can be normal is for them to be connected to their mental self but disconnected from their emotional self.

But, due to how normal this is, they might not be consciously aware of the fact that they don’t have a good connection with this other part of them. However, even if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that being this way won’t undermine them.

A Big Impact

The reason for this is that their emotional self will provide them with guidance and allow them to connect deeply with others. Thus, without this part of them on board, they won’t have access to a lot of inner guidance and their relationships with others are not going to have the level of depth that they would have otherwise.

As a result, they can often be confused when it comes to what they should do and how they should live their life. Additionally, they can have the tendency to experience a sense of loneliness and disconnection from others.

The Outcome

When it comes to what they do, then, they can look toward others and rely on their mind. But, as others are on their own path and their mind doesn’t have a strong connection to their feeling self, they are likely to often do things that are not right for them.

To handle the sense of loneliness and disconnection that they often experience, they can look toward food, drugs or alcohol, for instance. This will temporarily allow them to avoid what is really going on for them.

External Feedback

And, if the people in their life were to describe them, some of them could say that they often come across as distant, detached and cold. To these people, it could be as if one is typically out of reach.

They might even say that they don’t appear to have a very good connection with their feelings. If there are other people who can see what is going on it won’t be a surprise as these people will be on the outside, so to speak, and therefore, will be able to see more clearly.

Stepping Back

Now, there can be a point in time when one will be able to see that they don’t have a good connection with their emotional self. At this point, they could wonder why they are like this.

What could enter their mind is that there is something inherently wrong with them. And, if they have been criticised over the years for being this way, this could also play a part in why they have come to this conclusion.

A Closer Look

Yet, while they can come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that it is the truth. There is a chance that they are this way because of what took place during their formative years and how they had to adapt to handle what happened.

So, throughout this stage of their life, they might have had a parent or parents who were emotionally unavailable and out of reach and even abusive. This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

Totally Defenceless

The trouble was that as they were powerless and dependent, they were unable to do anything about what was going on or find a family that could love them. Their only option was to lose touch with their emotional self and bring their awareness out of their body and into their head.

Of course, this wouldn’t have changed what was going on but it would have stopped them from being consciously aware of the hurt they were experiencing and the pain that they were in. Below their level of awareness, then, they would have still suffered but adapting in this way would have allowed them to survive.

The Priority

Instead of being able to grow and develop, which would have taken place if they had received the love that they needed, their focus was on making sure that their life didn’t come to an end. With this in mind, it is to be expected that they wouldn’t be an integrated human being now that they are an adult.

If they do blame themselves for how disconnected they are, they will need to keep in mind that they didn’t choose to be this way. They are worthy of their own support and compassion.

Moving Forward

For them to reconnect to their body and have access to their feelings, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk