Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be Very Driven?

If someone is practically always on the go and spends a lot of time working on different goals, they could believe that this is just what they are like. Therefore, they will have been born this way.

Then again, they could also believe that this shows that they value themselves. If this is the case, there won’t be any other reason or reasons why they are behaving in this way.  

Another Angle

However, although they could be this way because of these two reasons, there could be far more to it. If they were to go deeper inside themselves, they could find that there are other reasons why they are this way.

But, even if there is, they might never become aware of what is going on for them at a deeper level. The reason for this is that they will spend so much time in doing mode.

Another Factor

Moreover, as they are likely to live in a society that is full of people who are more or less always on the go and are more like robots than human beings, the chances of them being asked why they behave in this way is likely to be slim to none. If, on the other hand, they were not very driven, they could be asked why they are this way.

The days, weeks, months and years will then pass and their behaviour is likely to stay the same. What is likely to change is what they have achieved and what they want to achieve.

One Scenario

Nonetheless, if they were to end up feeling exhausted, due to how driven they are and are unable to behave in this way any longer, this may cause them to look deeper. This could be a time when they will think about how they have rarely relaxed over the years or had much fun.

Still, even if they were unable to do a great deal, they could still have the urge to do things. Not being able to do much can cause them to feel frustrated and agitated; they could be like a caged animal.

Looking Back

If they were to look back on their life, they might find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. Then again, they might see that there was a point in time when their behaviour changed.

Now, if they do feel frustrated and agitated and they were to go deeper, they could find that they feel helpless and hopeless. Thus, by being on the go and achieving things, they will be able to release tension and stop themselves from feeling this way.

What’s going on?

At this point, they could wonder why they feel so tense when they are not in doing mode and feel powerless. What this can show is that their early years were not very nurturing.
This may have been a stage of their life when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Their mother and perhaps their father might have been emotionally unavailable and out of reach.

The outcome

This would have stopped them from receiving the attunement, care, support and love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. To handle what happened, how they felt and a number of their needs would have ended up being repressed.

What would have also allowed them to handle what was going on was for them to live in the hope - the false hope - that if they struggled for their love, they would be loved. This would have involved them believing that they themselves were bad and their mother and perhaps their father were good.

A Defence

If they had accepted that their mother and perhaps their father couldn’t love them, they would have felt totally helpless and hopeless. This would have been too much for them to deal with.

Their parasympathetic nervous system would have been activated, to stop them from falling into a hole and experiencing total despair. Adapting in this way was their only option as they were powerless and dependent.

A Continuation

Many years will have passed since they were powerless and dependent and needed their mother’s and perhaps their father’s love but a big part of them will be frozen in time. This part of them will still be struggling for their mother’s and perhaps their father’s love.

To this part of them, if they continue to struggle, they will finally be loved by their mother and perhaps their father. What this shows is that this part of them has no sense of time and is blind, which is why it doesn’t realise that it is too late for them to be loved by one or both of them and that other people are not their mother or their father.
​
An Escape

With this in mind, being a human-doing allows them to release the tension that builds up due to the pain and unmet developmental needs that they are carrying and plays a part in stopping them from coming into contact with how they felt during their formative years. Their brain will also be doing what it can to stop this repressed inner material from entering their conscious awareness.

For them to be able to just be, along with being driven, they will have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

---

I​f you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.
• Consultations.

Oliver JR Cooper