Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Only Deserve To Survive?

Deep down, someone can have the sense that they are only worthy of meeting their basic needs. Consequently, they can generally create a life where they survive but seldom if ever thrive.

But, if this is something that they are not consciously aware of, they can believe that this is just what their life is like. There is then going to be very little that they can do and will just have to do the best that they can.

One Reality

When it comes to their life, they could have a job that just about covers their bills but it could be soul-destroying. They can then dread going to work and they can look forward to going home.

This may be a job that they have had for many years, or they might not have had it for very long. Yet, even if it is a fairly new job, their last job might have been very similar.

Another Area

As for their relationships, they might not have any close friends and could spend a fair amount of time alone. Then again, they might have a few friends but they might not be very close to them.

If this is the case, there won’t be anyone in their life who they can share their inner world with. What this can also show is that they don’t speak to their family, or that they are not close to them.

Another One

When it comes to their inner world, they can spend a lot of time feeling low and down. Additionally, they can have the tendency to be unsettled, with them feeling anxious and fearful.

If they do feel good it could be because they have had something to eat, drink or taken something. But, other than that, their emotional state is not going to be very high.

A Big Different

At times, they could think about how some people live and think about how different these people are. They can see them as having something that they themselves don’t have.

What might even cross their mind, from time to time, is that, unlike them, these people deserve to experience life in this way. Someone like this is then going to be different and perhaps special.

External Feedback

However, if they were to share what is going on for them with another person, they could end up being told that they are worthy of living a fulfilling life. Moreover, they could say that they are not here to merely survive.

After hearing this or something similar, they could wonder why their life is this way. They could see that their life has been this way for as long as they can remember.

What’s going on?

As confusing as this is likely to be, if they were able to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their formative years, they might gradually understand why their life is this way. This stage of their life might have been anything but nurturing.

So, practically from the moment they were born, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Being left and receiving attention when they didn’t need it would then have been the norm.

A Brutal Time

As a result, right from the beginning of their life, they would have been greatly traumatised. Thus, instead of being able to focus on growing and expanding, they had to go into survival mode.

To handle what happened, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. This would have also involved them losing touch with their connected and embedded, true self and developing a disembodied and disconnected, false self.

Another Element

In addition to their system adapting to a depriving environment, there would have been the meaning that their underdeveloped brain made. They would have come to believe that they didn’t deserve to exist, were worthless, and unlovable, and that their needs and feelings were bad.

In reality, their mother and perhaps their father had probably also been greatly deprived and deeply wounded during their formative years and were unable to love them. This means that they do deserve to exist, are worthy and lovable and their needs and feelings are not bad.

Moving Forward

For them to create a different reality, they are likely to have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.
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Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk