Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Develop An Inferiority Complex?

If someone were to take a step back and reflect on how they often feel, what may enter their mind is that they have the inclination to feel low. They might see that this is how they usually feel when they are around others.

However, when they are by themselves or are only around one person or a few people, they might not feel this way. After this, what might stand out is that, over the years, they have done their best to stay in the background.

Self-Protection

But, as they are going to find it hard to feel good when they are around a lot of people, this is going to make sense. What can also stand out is that this has stopped them from being able to freely express themselves.

They might see that, in the past, when they have freely expressed themselves, they have often been criticised and humiliated. By staying in the background then, and not spending much time around others, they won’t feel as bad about thesmevles.

Another Part

And when they are around others, they might see that they typically focus on them and do what they can to please them. They can then be easy-going, selfless and useful.

In general, then, when they are around others, they are not going to fully show up. They are going to be like an actor who performs for an audience, with their audience not being people who have paid to see them, but people who they come into contact with.

External Feedback

If they were to open up about what is going on for them to a trusted friend, this can be a time when they are understood and supported. Their friend could say that there is nothing wrong with them and they don’t need to hide themselves.

After this, they could thank them for their support and be grateful to have them in their life.  Before long, what might enter their mind is that they have the sense that they are less than others.

A Closer Look

If this is the case, it will make sense why they have the need to stay in the background and not freely express themselves. This will be a way for them to stop other people from seeing the real them and allow them to be accepted, and thus, survive.  

Nonetheless, even though this is what is going on for them, it doesn’t mean that it is the truth. In reality, they are not less than others, and they can freely express themselves and not only survive, but thrive.

A Deeper Look

Yet, for their life to change, what is going on for them internally will also need to change. Now, although how they see thesmevles won’t be the truth, as, to a big part of them, having this view and hiding will be seen as their only way to survive, a big part of them won’t want to experience life differently.

It can then seem strange why they would have the need to act like someone who is less than others and has no right to live a fulfilling life in order to feel safe and exist. But as strange as this will be, if they were able to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their formative years, it might soon make sense.

Back In Time

From a very young age, one or both of their parents might have been very critical, cold and cruel. As a result, they wouldn’t have been treated as though they deserved to be here, were valuable and lovable; they would have been treated as though they had no right to exist, were worthless and unlovable.

To handle being greatly deprived and deeply wounded, they would have lost touch with their connected, embodied, and fully feeling true self. In its place would have been the creation of a disembodied, disconnected, not fully feeling, deflated and outer-directed false self.

An Inner Protector

Part of this false self would have been the creation of a part of them that was there to ensure that they hid themselves around others and stayed in the background. Another way of looking at his part would be to call it their ‘superego’.

This part would have soon learnt that being here and being seen wasn’t safe and that to survive, they had to erase thesmevles and act like an extension of others. This inner controller was then not trying to harm them; it was doing what it could to minimise their suffering and keep them alive.

It’s over

Of course, this stage of their life is over, but this part of them won’t realise this. As far as it is concerned, it will need to hold onto the sense of being less than others and keep them in line, or else they will be harmed and ostracised, which will cause their life will end.

For them to gradually change this part of them, get back into their body and realise that they deserve to be here, have inherent worth and are lovable, they will have a number of steps to take. They will have beliefs to question, pain to face and process, and unmet developmental needs to experience, among other things.
This will take courage, support, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk