Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Emotionally Disconnect From Themselves?

Even though someone has an emotional self, it doesn’t mean that they have a strong connection to this part of them. As a result, it can be normal for them to feel empty and disconnected.

They might also not spend much time around others or feel connected to them when they are. However, if this is what is normal, it can prevent them from being aware of this.

A Catalyst

A time might arise, though, when they start to reconnect to their emotional self, which can then allow them to see clearly. For example, they might meet someone who they are attracted to and who is attracted to them, build a connection with them and end up dating.

Thanks to this, they can start to reconnect to their emotional self and feel feelings that they haven’t felt for a very long time. They can find that they feel connected, alive, valuable, loved and motivated.

A New Reference Point

Due to how they are experiencing life, they will be able to see how different their experience of life used to be. What can enter their mind is that it was as if they were alive before, but were dead on the inside.

They would have been going through the motions, but now it will be very different. Nonetheless, it might not be long until the pleasure that they are experiencing turns into pain.

One Scenario

The reason for this is that, for one reason or another, the person they are with could break up with them. Assuming that this takes place, they could end up being in a very bad way emotionally.

If they don’t feel overwhelmed, they can have moments when they are unable to feel anything. It can be as if they are a child who has been left by their mother or father and can’t handle life, not an adult who has experienced a breakup and can handle life.

The Next Stage

After having moments of emotional overwhelm and shut down, over time, they might just go back to being shut own. If so, sooner or later they can wonder what is going on.

They can wonder why they can’t just stay connected to how they feel and not be overwhelmed with pain. As strange as this will be, if they were able to go back in time and observe their early years, it might gradually make sense.

Back In Time

This may have been a stage of their life that was anything but nurturing. So, practically from the moment they were born, they might have often been left by their parent or parents.

As the years passed, they might have continued to be neglected. Therefore, a stage of their life when they needed attunement, mirroring, care, affection and support to grow and develop in the right way was a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

One Option

To handle not having their developmental needs met on a consistent basis and the pain that this caused them, their brain would have repressed their needs and the pain they were in. This would have involved them losing touch with their embodied, connected, and fully feeling true self.

In its place would have been the creation of a disembodied, disconnected, and not fully feeling false self. If this hadn’t taken place and they had stayed connected to themselves, they probably would have died.

The Outcome

Many years will have passed since that stage of their life, but as they will still be carrying this inner material, their system will be doing what it can to stop them from falling apart. Keeping this material at bay will take a lot of their energy.

There can also be a number of things that they do, unknowingly, to help ensure that this material doesn’t enter their conscious awareness. This is because repression alone won’t be enough, and what is being held inside them will create tension that needs to be released for them to keep it together and function.

Moving Forward

Taking all this into account, for them to get back into their body and be connected to how they feel, they will need to face how they feel and experience their unmet developmental needs. Naturally, this is not going to happen overnight, and if they try to go too fast, they can just end up shutting down again and be unable to process anything.

This is why it will take courage, support, patience and persistence.

Awareness

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Oliver JR Cooper
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