Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Lose The Ability To Feel Their Feelings?

Although someone has an emotional self, it doesn’t mean that they will always realise this. The reason for this is that they might typically be out of touch with how they feel.

Due to this, they can have a lot going on at a mental level and often experience strong sensations, but that will be about it. However, if this is just what is normal, they might not question why they are experiencing life in this way.

Stepping Back

Sooner or later, though, something could happen that plays a part in them becoming aware of how emotionally disconnected they usually are. So, a family member or friend could pass on.

After this, they might not feel sad, but they could feel very heavy and experience a lot of tension in their chest, for instance. Assuming that this was to take place, they could look into what was going on for them.

External Feedback

If they were to talk to their doctor about what is going on for them, they could end up being given medication. This medication can be aimed at improving their mood and easing the pain in their chest.

Then again, their doctor could take another angle and say that it’s as though they are experiencing grief but that they don’t have access to this grief. After this, they could recommend that they work with a therapist, as this will allow them to explore what is going on for them.

The next sage

If this is what takes place when they work with them, this can be a time when they will talk about how they are rarely in touch with how they feel, and if they are, they don’t feel deeply. They might say that they sometimes feel angry and frustrated, and often feel down and low, but that’s about it.

And they can talk about how they often experience strong sensations in their chest and stomach. What might enter their mind is that the reason they are this way is because they are missing something.

A Closer Look

What is likely to play a part in this view is if their life has been this way for as long as they can remember. But, while it may seem as though they are missing something, this might not be the case.

Instead, what this can show is that thanks to how their brain has adapted, their feelings are unable to freely enter their conscious awareness. It is then not that this part is missing; it is that it is largely unable to communicate with them directly.

Silenced

To use an analogy, it’s a bit like if they were in a house with a friend, but their friend was trapped in a room that is soundproofed. Their friend can then shout, but they won’t be able to hear what they are saying.

Nonetheless, for some reason, what they can hear is the impact of the noise that they make. They will then be able to describe the sounds, but they won’t know what these sounds are trying to tell them.

Back To Reality

The connection here is that a lot of the sensations that they experience are going to be a reflection of what is going on for them at an emotional level. But as they can’t feel their feelings, they won’t know this.

The other part of this is that if they know how to read their body's messages, they would be able to intellectually understand what is going on for them at an emotional level. From this, what will stand out is that they experience sensations, but they won’t experience their feelings or have an intellectual understanding of them.

What’s going on?

Ideally, when they were born, they would have experienced sensations, and after this, they would have felt their feelings and stayed connected to them, and then, as time passed, developed the ability to describe their feelings. Nevertheless, if this stage of their life was a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded, this wouldn’t have taken place.

This may have been a stage of their life when they experienced sensations, but due to not receiving the attunement, care, affection and support that they needed, they might have gradually lost the ability to feel deeply. To stop them from being overwhelmed with pain and to allow them to keep it together and function, their brain and nervous system would have wired in a way that walled their emotional self off.

One option

As they were powerless and dependent and one or both of their parents were unable to provide them with the love that they needed, this was their only option. If this hadn’t taken place, they would have probably died.

Not receiving the attunement that they needed would have also stopped them from being able to understand how they were feeling. But, as they would have lost touch with a big part of them, it wouldn’t have mattered.

A natural outcome

Taking all into account, it is not that they are missing something or that there is something inherently wrong with them; it is that they were traumatised very early on and more or less severed their connection with feeling self was how they survived. For them to gradually reconnect to their body and their feeling self, it will take courage, support, patience and persistence.

They will probably need to engage in some kind of body work, as this will help to loosen their system and allow them to slowly reconnect to and feel their feelings. Also, developing an understanding of where feelings are located in their body will help them to understand what their sensations are telling them.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk