Even though someone is an interdependent human being, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. Instead, they can typically act as though they don’t need others and are completely independent.
The reason for this is that they could spend a lot of time by themselves and not reach out to others. They are then not going to be interested in having friends or dating, let alone being in an intimate relationship. Another Scenario Then again, it might not be this black and white as this as they might have one or two friends and they might have casual encounters. They will then share their mind with others and their body. But, what they won’t share is their emotional self, with this part of them being overlooked. Therefore, they can either be in a position where their basic needs are being met, or they can be in a position where their basic needs are being met, along with of their other needs. A Strange Scenario Either way, if they were to step back and reflect on how they live their life, they could wonder why they are this way. What can enter their mind is why they don’t live a life where their physical, emotional and mental needs are generally being met. They could see that they are typically out of touch with their emotional needs and their need to form a deeper connection with others. What might occur to them is that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. One Outlook They could come to the conclusion that they were just born this way and that they are different to others. However, while this may appear to be the case, there is likely to be more to it. There is a chance that what took place during their formative years played a big part in why they are this way. This stage of their life may have been anything but nurturing. Back In Time So, practically from the moment that they were born, they might have often been left and when they did receive attention, it might have typically been mistuned care. This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle what took place, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. As they were powerless and dependent, they had no other way of dealing with what was going on. An Adaption The needs that would have been repressed by their brain would have primarily related to their need for attention and affection. As their mother and perhaps their father were out of reach, it would have been too painful for them to not only not have these met but to also be aware of them. Thus, to keep it together and function at this stage of their life, they had to lose touch with a big part of themselves. Ultimately, they were pure need at this stage of their life and being this way caused them to suffer immensely. An Inner Disconnection A time when they needed to receive love to be able to grow and develop, was then a time when they had to go into a disconnected and collapsed physiological state. Their focus would have gone from growing to merely surviving. Many years will have passed since they were living in this depriving environment but a big part of them won’t realise this. To this part of them, they will still be living in an environment where certain needs won’t be met and not needing much will be essential to their survival. A New Reality It might seem at this point that they just need to change what they believe and the thoughts that they have to be able to experience life differently. This will be part of it but they will also need to reconnect to their body and feel safe enough to be here, in their body and express their needs. For this to take place, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work though and unmet developmental needs to experience, among other things. This will take courage, patience and persistence. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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