Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone to Lose Touch With Their Survival Instincts?

In order for someone to make good decisions, they will need to have access to all parts of themselves. So, they will need to be connected to not only what is taking place for them at a mental level, but also what is taking place for them at an emotional and instinctual level.

This will mean that they are an integrated human being, and they will be able to act in an intelligent manner. However, while this is the ideal, they might not have a good connection with each part of themselves.

One Scenario

Yet, even if this is the case, this might not be something that they are consciously aware of. If this is the case, they can have a good connection with what is taking place for them at a mental level, but that might be about as far as it goes.

In general, then, they are not going to be aware of how they feel or what their body is telling them. Thanks to this, it won’t matter how educated they are, as their ability to make intelligent decisions will be undermined.

For Example

Due to this, they may have a job that requires a certain level of cerebral intelligence, and they can even be seen as being very intelligent, but other areas of their life could be in a mess. For example, they could continually be attracted to people who are abusive.

Consequently, they might have been in a number of relationships where they were greatly undermined. There is a chance that they are currently in a relationship like this and have been for quite some time.

External Feedback

Assuming that they are single, in the past, a number of their friends might have commented on how the person they are attracted to or are dating is not right for them. If this has taken place, they might have just dismissed what they heard and made out that their friend just couldn’t see them clearly, for instance.

In reality, this friend will have probably been in touch with each part of themselves and, thus, been able to notice things that they couldn’t. This friend then had access to information that they themselves didn’t have access to.

A Surprise

By not having access to this information, it would have taken them weeks or months to see the other person clearly. And, at that point, they would have formed an attachment to someone who wasn’t good for them, which would have probably made it harder for them to cut their ties with them.

If they were to reflect on this area of their life, what could enter their mind is that they just happen to end up with people who are not right for them. They can then see themselves as a powerless victim.

Another Angle
 
Alternatively, after reflecting on this area of their life, they can wonder why their friends are able to see the people they are drawn to clearly, but they aren’t. If they were to talk to their friends about this, they could be told that this is because they are on the outside, so to speak, and therefore, can see more clearly.

This is almost certainly going to play a part, but what it won’t do is shed light on what is actually going on. But, if they have experienced life in this way for most of their life, this is just going to be normal, and so there will be no reason for them to realise what is going on.

A Closer Look

If they were to see that they don’t have a good connection with their emotional and instinctual selves, and that this is making it harder for them to see people clearly, they can wonder why this is. What can also enter their mind is that they usually develop an idealised view of someone when they are attracted to them.

As strange as this may appear to be, if they were able to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their formative years, this might soon make sense. The reason for this is that this may have been a stage of their life that was anything but nurturing.

Way Back

Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Or, this might have been what took place after a number of years had passed.

Either way, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Along with this, they might have also been verbally and even physically abused.

An Adaption

To handle being deprived and the pain that this caused them, they would have gradually lost touch with their connected and embodied true self and developed a disconnected and disembodied false self. The fact that this would stop them from being rooted in their body and cause them to lose touch with their instincts and feelings, undermining their intelligence in the process, wouldn’t have mattered.

Their system's priority was to keep them alive in an environment that was depriving and a threat to their survival. Many, many years will have passed since this stage of their life, of course, but they will still be in a fractured and disconnected state.

The other part

As to why they would have an idealised view of someone when they are attracted to them, this will come down to the fact that they are in a developmentally stunted state and are unconsciously projecting the mother and/or father that they needed into them. This person will be seen as someone who will provide them with the love that they missed out on all those years ago.

But, as this stage of their life is over, to not mention that another person won’t be their mother or father, it will be too late for them to receive what they missed out on. Taking all this into account, for them to reconnect to their body and operate as a whole human being, no longer be developmentally stunted, and no longer look for what they missed out on, they will have conditioning to question, pain to face and process, and unmet developmental needs to experience.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk