Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Give Someone The Need To Be Rescued?

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, if that they often end up in situations where they need to be saved. Their life is then going to be anything but harmonious and there will be a lot of ups and downs.

It can then be normal for them to feel helpless, hopeless and exhausted. But, as they will live a very tiring existence where they are seldom able to cope, this is not going to be a surprise.

One Area

So, this could mean that they often end up in relationships where they are not treated very well and are even abused. When this takes place, they can look towards a friend or a number of friends and/or a family member, to liberate them.

In this case, a friend might speak to their partner and make it clear that how they are behaving isn’t acceptable and even end the relationship for them. Also, they might allow them to stay with them for a while and perhaps lend them money.

Another Area

Additionally, they might often be unwell and be unable to function. Over the years, friends, family and the people they have been in an intimate relationship with might have looked after them.

They might have needed to be taken to the doctors, and the hospital, and needed other people to prepare food for them. During these moments, they might have been in a completely dependent state.

One More

Moreover, when they are at work, they could find that it is hard for them to do certain tasks and need others to complete things for them. If they were to look back on when they were at school, they might also see that they struggled.

They might have often been late doing their homework and needed additional support. If this was the case, teachers and other students might have soon been there to support them.

A Strange Scenario

After thinking about the different areas of their life where they are unable to cope and more or less constantly need help, they could wonder why their life is this way. What might enter their mind is that, unlike some people who are generally able to cope, they are missing something.

If, then, they had what these people had, they wouldn’t need other people to continually come to their rescue. However, even if they believe that they are missing something, it doesn’t mean that this is the truth.

Another Angle

There is a chance that the reason they continually end up in these situations is because another part of them is trying to receive what they missed out on during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

Therefore, instead of this being a time when they received the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way, it would have been a time when they suffered and had to adapt to a lack of love. This stage of their life would have primarily been about surviving, not growing and expanding.

One option

To handle this, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. This would have involved them losing touch with their connected, true self, and creating a disconnected, false self.

To one degree or another, they would have had to focus on their parent or parents needs and be there for them. This would have meant that it wasn’t possible for them to be themselves; they had to play a role.

Hidden

Many years will have passed since they were a powerless and dependent child, but, as they missed out on being able to be a child and be cared for, the need to be cared for will have stayed inside them. This won’t be the same as an adult's need to receive care; no, it will relate to their unmet developmental need to be cared for.

It will be this need that is largely causing them to unconsciously create situations where they need to be cared for. The part of them that is causing them to do this is blind and has no sense of time, which is why it won’t be able to see that the people who come to their aid are not their parent or parents and that it is too late for them to receive what they missed out on.

Moving Forward

For them to move beyond this stage of their development and embrace their own power, they are likely to have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through, and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience, and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk