Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Being Able To Experience Pleasure?

Practically from the moment that someone’s wakes up, they could experience anxiety to one degree or another. Shortly after this, they can think about one or a few of the things that they have to do that day and be filled with dread.

What might change what is going on is if they have a coffee and perhaps something to eat. If they do, they could soon settle down and find that they are able to focus.

The next Stage

As the day passes, the anxiety that they experienced early on could re-appear, making it hard for them to settle and concentrate. To handle what is going on, they might end up having another coffee or they could eat something.

During this time, they could think about a plan that they have for the weekend and be filled with worry. This could be because they are meeting someone who they would rather not meet.

Another Area

In the evening, they might end up seeing their partner, if they have one, and this could also be a time when they are unable to feel at ease. This could be because they are with someone who doesn’t treat them well but this might not be the case.

When they are with them, they could feel tense and this could take just about all of the enjoyment away. Moreover, when they have sex, it could be even worse as this could be a time when they can’t feel a great deal.

A Low Place

Thanks to what their life is generally like, they could often feel low and even depressed. But, as they will often experience a lot of pain and won’t experience a great deal of pleasure, this is not a surprise.

Due to how much pain they experience, in order for them to experience pleasure, they might need to take something. So, they might need to drink alcohol, eat food or take drugs, for instance.

It’s forced

But, even if they are able to experience pleasure by taking this route, it won’t be real pleasure. It will have been artificially created and it will only be a matter of time before they go back to their normal painful state.

The trouble is that if this is just what is normal, it might not occur to them that their life can be different. This can then just be how their life is and there won’t be another way for them to experience life.

What’s going on?

Yet, even though this can just appear to be how their life is, there is a chance that what took place during their formative years – or before - played a big part in what is going on for them. This may have been a stage that was anything but nurturing.

Instead of receiving the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way, then, they would have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded. The outcome of this is that they would have suffered immensely.

One Option

To handle, what was going on, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. This would have involved them losing touch with their connected, embodied, and feeling true self, and creating a disconnected, disembodied and unfeeling, false self.

Ultimately, as they were unable to get away from the person or people who were causing them to suffer, they had to leave themselves and lose the ability to deeply feel. This wouldn’t have stopped them from suffering but it would have stopped them from being consciously aware of the pain they were in.

A Build Up

Many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but they will still be carrying most if not all of the pain and the needs that were not met. Being in a shut down and unfeeling state, will, like when they were a child, stop them from being overwhelmed, allowing them to keep it together and function.

However, as a result of how much inner material they are carrying, it won’t be possible for their system to completely keep this material at bay, which is why they will experience so much tension. This tension will be similar to the smoke that comes from an engine that is overheating.

Moving Forward

For them to reconnect to their body and their feelings, and be able to experience pleasure as well as pain, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk