Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Being Able To Face Reality?

Even though one or a number of areas of someone’s life might not be serving them, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. Instead, they can block out what is going on and continue to behave in the same way.

And, if this is what takes place, it is unlikely to matter if there are people in their life who can see clearly. They are likely to dismiss what these people say and even say that they don’t know what is really going on.

Another Outcome

Then again, they could listen to what they have to say and even agree with them, but that could be about as far as it will go. Therefore, after they have spent time with someone like this, they could carry on as normal.

Or, they could think about what has been said for a little while but that could be as far as it will go. Due to this, their life will continue to go in the same direction.

For Example

When it comes to the area of their life that is not serving them, it can relate to where they work and their intimate relationship, for instance. In both of these areas, they can be used to being taken advantage of and walked over.

They are then not going to be valued and treated as though they are important. As a result of this, these two areas of their life are going to have a negative impact on their wellbeing.

A Strange Scenario

With this in mind, it is naturally going to seem strange why they can’t face what is going on and change their behaviour. They will have the eyes to see but they won’t be able to see what is right in front of their eyes.

Undoubtedly, the longer they stay in this position, the more they are going to suffer. Nonetheless, if they are not willing to see what is going on, they won’t be able to make sure that they don’t fall even further into a hole.

What’s going on?

As strange as this may seem, there is a strong chance that if they faced what is going on, it would cause them to experience a lot of pain. Thus, what is going on will be causing them to suffer but it would be even worse for them if they saw clearly.

This doesn’t mean that they are consciously choosing to block out reality; no, this is likely to be something that is taking place automatically and unconsciously. Their brain will be keeping this pain outside of their conscious awareness to allow them to keep it together and function.

Going Deeper

Most of the pain that they are carrying outside of their conscious awareness is likely to be a consequence of what they experienced during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

To handle what took place, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. Another part of what would have allowed them to keep their pain at bay is that they would have lived in the hope – the false hope – that if they struggled, they would be loved.

It Was Futile

This would have involved them seeing their parent or parent’s as good and themselves as bad. However, as their parent or parents were probably unable to love them as they themselves had also been deprived during their formative years, it wouldn’t have mattered what they did.

Yet, if they had accepted that their parent or parents couldn’t love them and hadn’t blocked out reality, it would have been too much for them to handle. If they were not powerless and dependent and were able to find another family where they would be loved, it would have been different.

The Connection

This stage of their life will be over, of course, but they will still be trying to receive what they missed out on as a child. At a deeper level, where they work and the person they are in a relationship with will represent their parent or parents.

What is going on for them at this level will have caused them to unconsciously re-create a life where they are deprived all over again, in the hope that they will finally be loved. What this illustrates is that this deeper part of them has no sense of time and is blind.

Moving Forward

For them to be able to see clearly and no longer unconsciously re-create depriving situations, it will be essential for them to gradually face and work through the pain that had to be repressed all those years ago. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk