Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Feeling Safe Enough To Be In Their Body?24/11/2024
What can be normal is for someone to live upstairs, in their head. As a result of this, they won’t realise that they are typically out of touch with a big part of them.
This can be how they have been for most, if not all, of their life. However, as they don’t have a good connection with their body, living in this way is going to have a big impact on them. One part So, they are generally not going to be aware of how they feel as this information will be found in their body. This doesn’t mean that they won’t experience anxiety, frustration, anger or feel down, for instance. No, what it means is that other feelings and feelings that are deeper will be outside of their conscious awareness. The feelings that they do experience, then, can largely be more surface-level. Another part Along with not having a strong connection with their emotional self, they can typically be out of touch with certain needs. For example, this can relate to their need for human connection, affection, and even sex. The needs that they are primarily aware of can be their basic needs, such as their need to eat and sleep and their mental needs such as their need to learn. One way of looking at this would be to say that the needs of their mind and body will be met but the needs of their heart will seldom if ever be met. Externally Focused Living in this way is going to take its toll on them and they could spend a lot of time feeling down. Nonetheless, they could do what they can do avoid what is going on for them. This can take place by them spending a lot of time using different devices, eating, drinking and even taking drugs. What this will do is allow them to ‘rise above’ what is going on for them. No Longer Effective Before long, though, they might no longer be able to avoid what is going on for them and be forced to face themselves. Assuming that this was to take place, they could end up feeing overwhelmed and very unsafe. But, while they will want to go up to experience a sense of control and feel safe, they won’t be able to. It is at this point that they might end up reaching out for the support that they need. What’s going on? At this point, it could seem strange as to why someone would have had the need to stay out of their body and feel overwhelmed and unsafe when they connect to it. What should be normal is for them to be in their body and feel safe being there. Being this way will allow them to be connected to their feelings and needs, and to be guided by their body’s wisdom. Without this connection they are a watered down version of themselves and they will be overly reliant on a part of them that is not supposed to direct their life – their intellect. A Closer Look If they have been this way for most of their life, it can show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time that was filled with neglect and even abuse. It could also show that their birth and time in their mother’s womb weren’t overly nurturing either. But, to put what their time in their mother’s womb and birth was like to one side, this would have been a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded. A Brutal Time Consequently, they would have been born with a strong connection to their body, but, to handle the pain that they experienced and how unsafe they felt, they would have gradually lost touch with this part of them. What they needed was a mother and a father who they were able to feel safe around and attach to, so that they could receive what they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Instead, they wouldn’t have felt safe enough to attach to them and their mother and perhaps their father would have lacked the empathy to see the harm that they were doing. If how they felt wasn’t repressed and they hadn’t left their body, they might not have survived. A Continuation Most likely, their mother and perhaps their father had also been deeply traumatised during their formative years. They then passed on what was done to them or something that was very similar. Taking this into account, how they were treated was not their fault or a reflection of their worth or lovability and it is safe enough for them to be there. For them to gradually settle into their body, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and survival responses to process. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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