Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Feeling Supported?

Even though someone has a physical body and will, thus, have the physical support that they need, it doesn’t mean they will feel supported. Now, this can mean that they rarely exercise and their muscles are not very strong, but this might not be the case.

Regardless of how physically strong they are, they can feel a deep sense of not being supported. Due to this, they can often go into a collapsed physical state and find it hard to do anything.

One Conclusion

If they were to think about why they are often this way, what might enter their mind is that it is because of what is going on for them externally. So, they might not have any close friends, and their job might be soul-destroying.

Additionally, they could have experienced endless setbacks in their love life and when it comes to their goals. If this is the case, they won’t have a fulfilling life and will have continually been knocked down.

A Natural outcome

As a result of what they have been through, it could be said that it is to be expected that they would experience life in this way. They won’t live a life that supports them, so why would they feel supported?

Thanks to how long their life has been this way, they might believe that it will always be this way. Then again, they might live in the hope that, sooner or later, their life will change direction.

External Feedback

If they were to talk to a family member, friend or even a colleague about what is going on for them, they could be told that they can change their life. This can be seen as something that will primarily take place by changing their thinking.

For example, this person could say that their negative thoughts are causing them to feel down and weak. By changing what is going on for them at a mental level, then, they will start to feel different, their behaviour will change, and their life will change.

Two Scenarios

If they were to follow this approach, they may find their life gradually changes. Consequently, they can begin to feel both supported and live a life that supports them.

Then again, they may find that no matter what thoughts they have, it doesn’t really change how they feel. Instead, it can be as if they are just denying how they feel and are living a lie.

Another Angle

Assuming that this approach doesn’t work, it can be because what is taking place in their mind and even externally is a symptom of what is going on for them at a deeper level. By focusing on what is going on in their mind and the external world, they are overlooking the cause.

However, as they are likely to live in a society that is mind-centric, this is not a surprise. In this society, what is going on up top, in the conscious mind, is typically seen as the cause of mental and emotional problems, while the body or unconscious mind is overlooked.

A Closer Look

The reason they don’t have a felt sense of support and live a life that doesn’t support them may be because of what took place during their formative years and the impact it had on them. This stage of their life will then be over, but they won’t have truly moved on from what happened.

Nonetheless, their conscious mind is likely to have forgotten about most, if not all, of what happened. This part of them might even believe that this stage of their life wasn’t that bad and that they received what they needed, for instance.

Going Deeper

Yet, practically from the moment that they were born, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed. So, instead of being touched and held when they needed to be, they would have been left.

This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded, and stopped them from being able to grow and develop in the right way. To handle the pain that they experienced by not having their needs met, their brain would have repressed how they felt and their needs, and they would have gone into a collapsed physiological state.

One option

Adapting in this way was the only way for them to handle what happened and ensure their survival. As they were powerless and dependent, they were unable to change what was going on or to find a caregiver who could love them.

Instead of developing a felt sense of safety, trust and support, they would have developed a felt sense of not being safe, not being able to trust and not being supported. This was not an idea that they formed in their mind; it was something that was anchored into their whole system.

Moving Forward

Taking all this into account, it is easy to see why simply changing what is going on in their mind and in the external world is not going to work. They are going to have pain to face and work through, and unmet developmental needs to experience.

This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk