Early Deprivation: Can Someone Feel Like An Imposter If They Experienced Early Deprivation?19/2/2025
Over the years, someone may have put a lot of effort into their career. Thanks to this, they might have been able to make a lot of progress, with them achieving a high position and doing well financially.
However, regardless of whether they hold a high position or are well off financially, they could often be filled with doubt and question if they deserve to experience life in this way. They are then not going to feel comfortable with what they have achieved. An Analogy They could often feel as though they are living a lie. Based on what is going on for them, it can be as if they have taken on another person’s identity and are, thus, pretending to be someone who they themselves are not. Yet, the reality is that they will have worked hard to arrive at this stage and won’t have stolen anything. With this in mind, the doubt and sense of not being deserving is not going to be based on reality. External Feedback If they were to talk about what is going on for them to a friend or family member, they could be told that there is no reason for them to have this inner experience. This person could be only too aware of how hard they have worked over the years. Even so, what they are told might not have much of an impact on them. Part of them might agree with what they are told but a bigger part of them could simply dismiss it. Another Scenario Then again, they might not even talk to another person about what is going on for them. This is because they could believe that, if they were to do this, they would end up being exposed and seen for who they really are. What this is likely to show is how strong the part of them is that doesn’t feel comfortable with the life that they lead. Thanks to how strong it is, it won’t be possible for them to reveal what is going on for them to the people in their life. A Lonely Existence As a result, it won’t matter how many people are in their life as they are going to feel isolated. At times, they might wish that they were not as successful as they are as this would allow them to relax and enjoy life. At other times, they might wonder what their life would be like if they knew that they deserved the experience life in this way. As things stand, though, this could seem to be something that is not possible. One Outcome If they were to think about why their life is this way, what might enter their mind is that they were born this way. There is then going to be something inherently wrong with them. If they do come to this conclusion, there is going to be very little that they can do about what is taking place them. It is then going to be a case of them doing their best to carry on and hoping that they are not found out. What’s going on? Nevertheless, if they were able to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their formative years, they might gradually understand why they are experiencing life in this way. This stage of their life may have been anything but nurturing. So, they may have had a mother and perhaps a father who were emotionally unavailable and out of reach. One or both of them might have also been verbally and even physically abusive. A Tough Time The outcome of this is that while their basic needs would have typically been met, their need to be seen and heard, supported and encouraged would have seldom if ever been met. This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle what happened, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. Along with this, as they were egocentric, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and unlovable. The Truth Most likely, they were not given what they needed to grow and develop in the right way because their mother and perhaps their father were unable to give it to them. They were probably also greatly deprived and deeply wounded during their formative years. But, although their mother and perhaps their father were unable to give them what they needed, they would have struggled to be loved by them. They would have lived in the hope - the false hope - that if they behaved in the right way, they would be loved. A Futile Struggle Many years will have passed since this stage of their life but a big part of them will still be looking for their mothers and perhaps their fathers love. If the pain of not being loved has caused them to be highly motivated, it will have played a big part in why they have achieved so much. The part of them that is still looking for their love has no sense of time and is blind, which will cause it to believe that it can receive what it missed out on and to see other people as its parents. In other words, this part of them sees life in a symbolic manner. Moving Forward Taking this into account, for them to feel at ease with what they have achieved and know that they deserve to do well, they are likely to have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through, and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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