Early Deprivation: Can Someone Feel Worthless If They Were Treated Like An Object During Their Childhood?

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the inclination to feel low and be depressed. They might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

Assuming that this is so, it can not only seem as though they were simply born this way, but that this is how their life will always be. Even so, as they experience life in this way, it is going to be difficult for them to make the most of the life that they have been given.

One Area

So, when it comes to what they do for a living, that’s if they have a job, they could do something that is soul-destroying. But, due to how they feel about themselves and the self-image that they have, they won’t believe that they are worthy of doing something that is fulfilling.

Alternatively, they could do something that is fulfilling, but they might not have been able to make much progress. In this case, they won’t believe that they deserve to move forward and go to the next level.

Another Area

When it comes to their relationships, they might not have any close friends or be in a relationship. What might often enter their mind is why anyone would want to be friends with them or to be in an intimate relationship with them.

Conversely, they might have a few friends and be in a relationship, but these people could treat them badly. Yet, as undermining as their relationships will be, they can have the sense that they don’t deserve to be treated any better.

Another Element

Also, thanks to how they feel, it can often be a challenge for them to get out of bed each day, and they might often struggle to fall asleep. Additionally, they can often think about their life and see themselves as a failure.

It could go even further than this, though, as they might have moments when they think about ending their life. During these moments, thanks to the pain that they are in and what their life is like, this can be seen as the only way for them to change their life.

External Feedback

If they were to talk to someone about what is going on for them, they could be told that there is another way for them to experience life. They might even ask them about what their early years were like.

If so, they could say that this stage of their life wasn’t that bad and that they received what they needed, or something similar. Then again, they could say that this stage of their life was a time when they generally were not treated very well.

Back In Time

Throughout this stage of their life, their mother and/or their father, and perhaps others, might have treated them as though they were nothing more than an object. They were then not a separate human being who was valuable and lovable, and had rights.

No, they were a possession that was there to meet their parent or parents needs, and their value was based on them meeting their needs. And, if they ever stood up for themselves and made it clear that they didn’t want to do something, they might have been criticised, humiliated, physically harmed and even isolated.

A Brutal Time

Therefore, the person or people who were supposed to provide them with what they needed to grow and develop in the right way and prepare them for the world will have behaved like a tyrant and greatly undermined them. It then wouldn’t have mattered that they had inherent value and were lovable, as what would have been mirrored back was that they were worthless and unlovable, and their worth and lovability were based on them doing as they were told and being useful.

Being treated in this way would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle what happened, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

One Option

This would have involved them losing touch with their connected true self and developing a disconnected and outer-directed false self. Of course, this wouldn’t have changed what was going on, but it would have stopped them from being consciously aware of it and, thus, allowed them to keep it together and function.

And it was because they were egocentric that how they were treated would have been personalised. It then wouldn’t have mattered that one or both of their parents were probably deeply wounded human beings who simply couldn’t love them, as they would have seen themselves as bad.

Moving Forward

If they had been treated as though they were a gift, their parent or parents had realised that they were their guardians and not their owner, and their worth and value was mirrored back to them, they would most likely feel different about themselves and would have a more empowering self-image. For them to change their life, they are going to have beliefs to question, pain to face and process, and unmet developmental needs to experience, among other things.

This will take courage, support, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk