Early Deprivation: Can Someone Find It Hard To Be Motivated If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

For a while now, someone might not have been able to do something that they want to do. When it comes to what it is that they want to do, they might want to join a gym, travel or move to a different area, for instance.

Now, they might have wanted to do something for a few weeks, months or even years. Not only this, but there could be a number of things that they keep putting off doing.

One Conclusion

If they were to think about something that they keep putting off, they could feel angry and frustrated. What might enter their mind is that they lack motivation and are even lazy.

They can then put themselves down and end up feeling like a failure, and believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. If they go down this path, it is likely to be even harder for them to get themselves moving.

External Feedback

After a while, they could conclude that they need to speak to a trusted friend about what is going on for them. If they were to do this, they could be told that there is nothing inherently wrong with them; it is just that they lack motivation.

This friend could recommend a book or a video that will help them find the motivation that they currently lack. Moreover, they might even suggest that they find a coach to work with.

One outcome

If they were to find a book or a video to motivate them, it might not be long until they are able to take the first step. Thanks to what they learn and the push that this gives them, they will have finally been able to get themselves moving.

At this point, they might wonder how different their life would be if they had come across this information before. Still, they can be relieved and grateful that their life has finally changed.

Another outcome

Alternatively, this approach might only work for a short while, or it might not work at all. If this is what takes place, they could feel even worse than they felt before, as they will have gotten their hopes up.

Following what has happened, they might believe that their life will always be this way and that there is very little that they can do. Yet, based on what they have been through, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

Another Angle

But, if they were to connect to what is taking place inside them, they might find out why it is so hard for them to take action. If they were to sit down and bring their awareness inside themselves and imagine taking the first step, they could find that another part of them is not on board with what they want to do.

And if this doesn’t take place the first time they do this, it might take place after they have tried this exercise a few times. If there is another part of them that is not on board with what they want to do, it will be clear why they are unable to get themselves moving.

Inner Conflict

On the outside, they will be one person, but on the inside, it will be as if they are two people. At the same time, it might go further than this, as there could be more than one part that doesn’t want to do something.

What this illustrates is that although it will have seemed as though they lacked motivation or willpower, there will be far more to it. To use an analogy, they will be like a car that won’t move very far because two wheels are set to go in one direction and two wheels are set to go in another.

At the root

So, if they have the need to go to the gym, for example, but are unable to do so, they could find that another part of them fears that they will be criticised and humiliated. Or, if they want to travel but haven’t been able to, they could find that another part of them fears that they will be alone.

Assuming that this is the case, they could wonder why they are this way. Nonetheless, if they were able to go back in time and observe their early years, it might soon make sense.

Back In Time

This may have been a stage of their life that was anything but nurturing, with them being greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Their mother or father might have been very critical and often humiliated them.

Additionally, their mother and/or father might have been emotionally unavailable and out of reach. The outcome of this is that they wouldn’t have been able to bond with them and would have often been alone.

Moving Forward

To handle what happened, parts of their consciousness would have been split-off and repressed. Many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but these parts will still be split-off and will be what is causing them to experience inner conflict and be immobilised.

These parts will be frozen in time, which is why they won’t be able to see that this stage of their life is over and that what they fear has already happened. For them to integrate these split-off parts of their consciousness and be able to take action, they will have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk