Early Deprivation: Can Someone Have Two Selves If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Even though someone looks like one person on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they will be one person on the inside. The reason for this is that there can be the self that they are aware of, their conscious self and then, there can be the self that they are not aware of, their unconscious self.

It will then be as if there are two of them, but it is not possible for them to see that there are two of them. However, and assuming that this is the case, the part of them that they are not aware of won't lie dormant.

A Big Impact

This other part of them will have an impact on the thoughts and feelings that they have, how they behave, and the experiences that they have. But, as they won’t be aware of this other part of them, it won’t be possible for them to join the dots, so to speak.

The outcome of this is that they are likely to believe that the reason they experience certain thoughts and feelings, behave in certain ways and have certain experiences is due to other reasons. Yet, as they won’t be aware of this other part of them, this is to be expected.

The First

So, this other self can cause them to have racing, negative and compulsive thoughts. As for their feelings, they can have a lot of negative feelings and their feelings can often be out of control.

If this is the case, their inner world is generally not going to be somewhere that is very pleasurable; in general, it will be somewhere that is full of suffering. This could be how their inner world has been for as long as they can remember.

The Second

When it comes to their behaviour, this other self can cause them to behave in ways that don’t serve them. For example, they can often start doing something that they want to do and then, before long, they can stop doing it.

Also, they can continually put off doing something that they want to do. Additionally, they can have the inclination to eat things that are not good for them.

The Third

In the case of the experiences that they have, they can often end up in situations where they are mistreated. They can then be used to being treated as though they have no value and are not lovable.

Conversely, they can often end up in situations where they are expected to take on a parental role and their own needs are overlooked. Not having their needs met and being deprived is then going to be a normal part of their life.

Stepping Back

If they were to look at each of these areas, they could believe that the negative thoughts and feelings that they experience are due to a chemical imbalance or that they just have mental problems. When it comes to how they behave, they can believe that someone or something ‘out there’ is controlling how they behave.

Lastly, when it comes to the experiences that they have where they are deprived, they can believe that they are just unlucky. As a result of this, they won’t be able to do a great deal about what is going on.

Stepping Back

Now, if it were put forward to them that, in addition to their conscious self, they also have an unconscious self and that this other self is having an impact on each of these areas, they could end up being confused. It might even seem as though what they are being told has very little basis in reality.

But, as strange as this may sound, if they were able to go back in time and observe their early years, they might soon understand what is being said. The reason for this is that this may have been a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

Back In Time

When they were born, they would have probably been connected to their body and thus, their needs and feelings. Yet, if they didn’t receive the attunement and care that they needed, they would have gradually lost touch with their connected and embodied true self.

Ultimately, it would have been too painful for them to be in their body and to feel and need, which is why they had to develop a disconnected and disembodied false self. Losing touch with themselves would have allowed them to keep it together and function in an environment where a number of their needs were not being met, and they were suffering.

A Divided Being

Many, many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but this false self will still be in place. And although their true self will rarely see the light of day, the developmental needs that were not met and the pain that they experienced will not only be held in their body, but it will also exert a big influence on their life.

This repressed inner material will put a lot of pressure on their mind, causing them to experience negative thoughts and feelings. As for their behaviour and who they are drawn to, this part of them will cause them to recreate what it was like for them as a child, as it will be trying to resolve this stage of their life.

Moving Forward

This part of them has no sense of time and is blind, which is why it won’t see that it is too late for them to receive what they missed out on, and another person is not their mother or father. For them to gradually let go of their false self and their need to recreate their depriving childhood and get back into their body, they are going to have pain to face and process and unmet developmental needs to experience.

This will take courage, support, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk