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If someone had a less than nurturing childhood, they might not be in a good way now that they are an adult. For example, they could often experience anxiety and fear and feel low.
As a result of this, it can be hard for them to function. Due to this, they are likely to want to find a way to change their life, so that they can embrace the life that they have been given. One option What they can end up concluding is that they need to ‘rewire their brain’ in order to experience life differently. This can be because they have spoken to a friend, seen an ad on social media or conducted a search online, for instance. They can learn that, as their brain is ‘plastic’ and not fixed, it can adapt by forming new neural connections. This is why they will be able to change how they think, feel and behave and no longer experience life in the same way. The Next Step After coming to this conclusion, they can end up looking for someone to work with, or they can look for a technique that will help them. If they work with someone, this can be a time when they use words, visualisation and touch to change their inner experience. Over time, old neural pathways are no longer going to operate, and these will be replaced by new neural pathways. Furthermore, the associations that they had when it comes to old triggers will have also start to change. A Big Relief Thanks to all this, they can begin to settle and no longer feel as low. They are then going to have a greater sense of control, and their wellbeing will improve, allowing them to embrace life. To arrive at this point could take a number of months, if not longer, but if they have suffered for most of their life, this is unlikely to bother them. Additionally, they will have been able to make progress without getting caught up in how they feel or by becoming even more overwhelmed. The Next Stage Alternatively, if they had normal therapy, where they simply talked about what was going on for them and what they went through as a child, they could feel even worse. Based on this, it could be said that therapy is a thing of the past and ‘rewiring the brain’ is the best option. However, even though they will now be able to function and live life again, it doesn’t mean that they will have truly moved on. What this comes down to is that, as their early years were not very nurturing, a number of their needs wouldn’t have been met. A Closer Look This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Therefore, ‘rewiring their brain’ will settle them down, but it won’t remove the pain that they experienced or the needs that were not met. Instead, this pain and these needs will stay inside their brain and body. This pain can end up undermining their physical health, and these needs are likely to continue to unconsciously drive them. Going Deeper In other words, this approach will stop their conscious mind from being flooded with input and allow them to function better, but it won’t deal with what is being held in their unconscious mind. At this level, their strongest need is likely to be to receive the love that they missed out on. Consequently, they can unconsciously create situations where they will be deprived, in the hope of finally receiving this love. The reason for this is that this deeper part of them is trying to resolve this stage of their life, but it has no sense of time and is blind, which is why it can’t see that another person is not their mother or father and that this stage of their life is over. Two Parts Considering this, ‘rewiring their brain’ will have settled them down, but they will continually be pulled to situations that unsettle them. Nonetheless, without this understanding, what they experience can just be put down to them being ‘unlucky’ or ‘unfortunate’, for instance. In reality, what they experience will be a reflection of what is going on for them at a deeper level and needs to be faced and integrated. This is not something that will take place overnight, though. The Big Difference Reconnecting to their body, crying out pain and experiencing their unmet developmental needs can be a process that takes a number of years, or longer. Nonetheless, this is a process that will allow them to be a connected and embodied human being who is in touch with their true self, as opposed to staying disconnected and living on the surface of themselves and being caught up in their false self. Taking all this into account, it could be said that while ‘rewiring their brain’ will be important, it is not a replacement for deeper work. To use analogy, ‘rewiring their brain’ will be similar to putting the fire out on a house that is burning, while the deeper work will be similar to gradually rebuilding it, and a house clearly can’t be rebuilt if it is on fire. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 29 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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