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Even though someone is a human being who has needs and feelings, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. Instead, they can act more like a machine that exists to perform one or a number of functions.
But, if behaving in this way is just what is normal, they might not be aware of what is going on. Their life will then continue to go in the same direction and they will continue to be deprived. A Closer Look So, as this is how they typically behave, it can mean that they will spend a lot of time working. When they are not working, they could often be doing things for others. Due to this, they will be a human be-ing, but they will spend a lot of time in doing mode. If they do relax, it could be because they are with friends or are on holiday, for instance. A Rare Occurrence However, they might not have many friends and even if they have one or a few friends, they could generally do things for them. As for being on holiday, they might seldom go away. As a result of how caught up they are with all the things that they do in their own life, they might not even think about going away. They might not have ever been away or not for a very long time. Self-Destruction Deep down, they can have the sense that, like a tool that exists to be used, they are here to be used and thus, don’t deserve to have time off to relax and recharge. What is clear from this is that they are living in a way that is not serving their highest good. Yet, as they will be depriving themselves, sooner or later, they might not be able to live in this way. With this in mind, it will be essential for them to become aware of how they are out of balance. Stepping Back What might allow them to become aware of how they are acting like an object is a breakdown. After arriving at the stage where it is no longer possible for them to ignore a number of their needs, they could wonder why they are this way. They could see that they do a lot for others but neglect themselves and act as though they have no value. For them to find out why they are this way, it will be a good idea for them to use their imagination. An Exercise What they can do is imagine that they are in tune with their own needs and feelings and live a life where they meet all of their needs. This will mean that they will work less and spend less time doing things for others. They are then going to give but they will also receive. Their basic needs such as their need to eat and sleep will be met along with their need to relax, experience pleasure, be valued and loved, for instance. The Next Stage At first, they can experience positive feelings but, after a while, they can start to experience negative feelings. So after feeling good, they can feel guilty, ashamed and anxious. After this, they can feel as though they will be rejected and abandoned if they behave in this way. What might soon enter their mind is that there is no reason for them to feel this way and that it is irrational. What’s going on? Nonetheless, if they were to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their early years, their outlook might soon change. The reason for this is that this may have been a time when they were generally not treated like a human being who had needs and feelings. In general, they might have been treated like an object that existed to meet one or both of their parent’s needs. If they spoke up and asserted themselves, they might have been rejected and/or abandoned. A Brutal Time Consequently, a number of their needs would have been overlooked and there wasn’t anything that they could have done. To handle what happened, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. And, as they were egocentric, they would have come to believe that they had no right to exist and were worthless and unlovable. A stage of their life, then, when they needed responsive parents was a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Moving Forward Ultimately, how they were treated was not a sign that they didn’t deserve to exist and were worthless and unlovable. It was a sign that one or both of their parents were deeply wounded human beings who couldn’t love them. For them to know that they deserve to be here and reconnect to their value and lovability, they will have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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