Early Deprivation: Can Someone’s Connection To Their Emotional Self Be Severed If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Even though someone has a mental, emotional and instinctual self, it doesn’t mean that they are generally in touch with each of these parts. In general, they can be in touch with what is going on for them at a mental level but that’s about it.

But, if this is just what is normal, they won’t be aware of how disconnected they are from themselves. They will then continue to live in the same way and their life won’t change.

One Part

Due to how disconnected they are, they are likely to spend most of their life living in their head. As a result of this, they can spend a lot of their life looking at different screens.

So, they can spend a lot of time watching TV, using their phone and a computer. This might mean that they also work on a computer for a living.

Another Part

Along with this, they might spend a lot of time by themselves and only have a few friends. There is a chance that they are not interested in spending much time around others and don’t get lonely, either.

If they do have a few friends, these might be people who they have known for a very long time. As for family, they might have one or a few siblings who they see from time to time.

One Scenario

Now, after living in this way for however long, they might arrive at the stage where they start to wonder why they are this way. They can think about different areas of their life and see how different they are to some people.

They might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember, and they might even believe that they were just born this way. What can cause them to go down this route is if they were to experience some kind of loss.

The Catalyst

For example, a family member could pass on, which will then cause them to come into contact with a lot of pain. Thus, after being in a disconnected state and not having access to their feelings, this will have changed.

What can cross their mind is why they have been in a disconnected state and out of touch with their feelings for so long. Another part of this is that being this way will have caused them to be out of touch with certain needs.

A Big Part of Them

For example, their need to connect to others and form deeper connections with them will have been lost as they were not connected to their feelings. Now that they have started to reconnect with themselves, they can feel the need to connect to others.

Irrespective of whether they do have this need, the reason that they have been so disconnected from themselves, can be due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were deeply traumatised.

Back In Time

Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed. Being left when they needed to be cared for and being cared for when they needed to be left would then have been the norm.

This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle not having their needs met and the suffering this caused them, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

The Outcome

This would have meant that they lost touch with their embodied, true self and formed a disconnected and disembodied, false self. To allow them to keep it together and function, their brain would have wired in a certain way.

They would then have lost access to their feelings and instincts, or at the very least, had a very weak connection to these parts of them. Ultimately, their early years were a time when they had to do their best to survive.

A Brutal Time

If what they needed was provided, they would have been able to stay connected to their body and grow and develop in the right way. But, as this didn’t take place, they had to lose touch with parts of themselves.

If their system hadn’t responded in this way, their life would have come to an end. As they were powerless and dependent, there was no other option.

Moving Forward

For them to develop a better connection with themselves, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk