Early Deprivation: Can Someone’s Life Take On A Symbolic Meaning If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Even though someone can want to achieve one or a number of things, it doesn’t mean that they will be fully aware of why this is. This is because they can be out of touch with what is truly driving them.

What this illustrates is that there is their conscious mind or conscious sense of themselves and, then, there is their unconscious mind. But, although they can be oblivious to what is taking place in this other, hidden part of them, it will still influence their life.

For Example

So, they can have the need to be successful and even famous. When they think about what it would be like to have achieved their goal, they can feel strong, valued, alive and grateful.

If they were to talk to a friend or family member about what it is that they want to achieve, this person could be supportive and encourage them to go for it. They might not even ask them why this is what they want to achieve.

The Next Phase

Over the weeks, months and perhaps years, they could do a lot and gradually achieve their desired outcome. At this point, they could feel proud of themselves and grateful for what they have achieved.

The experience that they are having could then be very similar or the same as the experience that they expected to have. After a while, though, they could have the sense that something is missing and they might feel low.

The Next Stage

What might enter their mind at this point is that there is something else that they need to achieve and, once this has taken place, it will be different. Due to this, before long, they could be working on another goal.

However, once they have achieved this goal, the experience that they have could be very similar to the one that they had the last time they achieved something. They can then feel good but it won’t be long until they feel a sense of emptiness.

A Closer Look

If they were to talk to a friend or family member at this point, it might be put forward to them that they are trying to receive something or a number of things that they missed out on during their formative years. After hearing this, they could say that this was a stage of their life when they received what they needed.

Yet, even if they do say this, it doesn’t mean that what they are saying is the truth. This may have been a stage of their life when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded, but, thanks, in part, to repression, their conscious mind might have forgotten about it.

Back In Time

Assuming that this was a stage of their life when they didn’t receive what they needed to grow and develop in the right way, they may have had a mother and perhaps a father who were emotionally unavailable and out of reach. They might have also have often been verbally put down.

The outcome of this is that they wouldn’t have received the emotional nutrients that they needed. They might have rarely if ever been seen and heard, received affection or been supported.

One option

But, as they were unable to change their parent or parents or find another family who could love them, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs. They would then have lost touch with their need to be loved, but it wouldn’t have been naturalised.

From outside of their conscious awareness, it would have continued to drive their behaviour. They would have also struggled to be loved by them, with this also being a way for them to keep their pain and needs outside of their conscious awareness and thus, keep it together and function.

Two Levels

Many years will have passed since this stage of their life, of course, but a big part of them won’t realise this. The reason for this is that this part of them has no sense of time and is blind.

As a result, to this hidden part of them, people, things and situations will represent something else. In each case, being with a person, attaining something, or having an experience, will be seen as what will allow them to receive the love that they missed out on during their formative years.

Caught Up In a Fantasy

If this part of them was able to see that this stage of their life is over and that another person, thing or situation can’t provide them with the love that they missed out on, they wouldn’t behave in this way. But, if this part of them was to accept this, it would have to give up the hope - the false hope - that they will receive what they missed out on and face the pain that they had to repress all those years ago.

With this in mind, for them to no longer symbolise people, things and situations and be able to receive what is available, they will have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk