Emotions: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Ignore Their Emotions?

Although someone has emotions, it doesn’t mean that they will listen to them; they can then act as if they don’t even exist. When this happens, they are likely to be in a position where they ignore what is taking place in their body.

On The Surface

Their point of awareness can then end up being in head and this is going to mean that they will be living on the surface of themselves.  However, even though one can live in this way, it doesn’t mean that it is not going to have a negative effect on their life.

Through living in this way, they are going to overlook the information that their emotions provide. Therefore, the guidance that is within them is going to end up being overlooked.

Another Source

As a result of this, it can then be normal for them to look towards others when it comes to what they should be doing in each moment of their life and in life in general. In this sense, the guidance that they are missing from within them ends up being provided from without.

They can then do what other people want them do and this could be how they have been for quite some time. This is not to say that other people will realise what is taking place though.

A Model Human Being

In the eyes of others, they could end up being seen as a model human being and this could come down to the fact that they are only too happy to be there for others. If other people want their help, they could soon be on their way.

Along with this, they could also come across as ‘easy going’ and this is likely to mean that other people will find it easy to be around them. Based on how other people respond to then, they could come to believe that they are doing the right thing.

The other Side

Yet even though they come across in this way, it doesn’t mean they are going to feel at peace when they spend time by themselves. During this time, they could end up feeling down or even depressed.

This could then cause them to wonder why they feel the way they do; especially as other people approve of them. As well as this, they could also have moments where they end up being consumed with anger and even rage.

The Reason

When one has this inner experience, it could cause them to think about how their life is not how they would like it to be or how they are don’t speak up, for instance. They could think about how other people walk over them and that is not possible for them to live their truth, among other things.
 
It can then be normal for them to feel as though they are victims and that there is nothing they do about what is taking place. The people they come into contact with can then be seen as people who are there to oppress them.

Life Experience

Through living life in this way, it is safe to say that their experience on this planet is unlikely to be very fulfilling. The life they live is not going to be a reflection of their true-self; it is going to be a reflection of who other people want them to be.

This is going to mean that their life is going to be radically different to someone who is in touch with their emotions. Now, this is not to say that their life will always go how they want it to go; what it means is that they won’t feel as though they have no control.

Guidance

They are going to be in a position where they will be able to embrace how they feel and to decide how their feelings will influence their life. As a result of this, it will be a lot easier for them to fulfil their needs.

This is not to say that they won’t pay attention to others; what it means is that they won’t overlook what is going on within them. Through doing this, they will be able to fulfil other people needs without having to ignore their own.

Speaking Up

What this shows is that they will feel comfortable enough to speak up and to express their truth. On one hand, this might mean that they experience their desired outcome, and on the other hand, it might not.

Yet even if the later takes place, they will still continue to speak up and to stand their ground; what they won’t do is it takes it as a sign that their needs are not important. They could see it as part of life as opposed to something negative.

Down Time

Through being able to listen and to express how they feel, they are going to be less likely to experience anger and rage. As a result of this, they are not going to be accustomed to feeling down or depressed, for instance.

However, even though they experience life differently, they were not simply born this way. What this is likely to show is that their caregivers responded to their emotions when they were growing up and this then set them up to do the same thing.

The Opposite

Therefore, if one ignores their emotions an as adult, there is a strong chance that their caregivers did the same thing when they were growing up. If one expressed how they were feeling, they may have been harmed, abandoned and/or verbally abused, for instance.

Through living in this kind of environment, it wouldn’t have been safe for them to pay attention to what was taking place within them. In order to survive, they would have had to focus on their caregivers needs and to disconnect from their own.

Awareness
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Their feelings and needs would have been something to be ashamed of and as a result, their emotional development would have been stunted. And the emotional pain that they experience during these early years would have stayed trapped in their body.

So if one has the need to get back in touch with their body and to listen to how they feel, it will be important for them to process the pain that is within them. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist, and through being in their presence; one can also receive the positive regard that they need in order to grow and develop. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/