Existence: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That They Have No Right To Exist?2/4/2022
When someone believes that they have the right to exist, they are likely to be in a position where they generally don’t have trouble being supported and embracing life. This is because by knowing, at the core of their being, that they have the right to be here, they will feel worthy of all that life has to offer.
As a result of this, they will be able to express their needs and wants, so to ask for things and actually receive what they ask for. This will also mean that they will feel safe enough to be here and to receive. The Norm If this is how their life has more or less always been, it will just be how their life is. Therefore, how they experience life will just be what is normal and it won’t be something that stands out. Then again, there may have been a time when this wasn’t what was normal. Consequently, they will know exactly what life is like without a felt sense of the right to exist and being worthy of life. Another Reality When someone doesn’t have these components in place, their life is going to be far harder than it needs to be. The trouble is that living in this way is likely to be normal, which is likely to mean that how they experience life won’t stand out. They are then not going to have a felt sense of having the right to be here and being worthy of life but they won’t be consciously aware of it. So, their life will be a struggle but they won’t see a way out. Deeply Deprived Meeting their ‘lower’ needs, let alone their ‘higher’ needs, is likely to be a challenge. To try to change their life, they could have the tendency to work really hard but still find that this is not enough. They could often come into contact with people who don’t seem to work very hard, yet always have what they need. This could cause them to feel angry, frustrated and helpless and as though someone or something out there is holding them back. A Low Place They could then have a victim mentality or often feel like a victim. Along with this, they could often feel very low and depressed and find it hard to get out of bed at times, having very little energy or drive. There may be times when they imagine what their life would be like if they were supported and were able to have what they needed and wanted, without endlessly having to struggle. This would allow them to move from merely surviving to being able to thrive. A Block If it was put forward to them that the reason their life is this way is due to what is taking place inside them, they could end up dismissing this. They could say that this is not possible as they want their life to change. At a conscious level, this will be the case but, at an unconscious level, something else will be going on. At this level, they won’t believe that they have a right to be on this earth or worthy of having their needs and wants met, and they won’t feel safe enough to receive. What’s going on? It can seem strange as to why they would be this way at a deeper level but it will make sense if what took place during their early years is taken into account. Nonetheless, their conscious mind might not be able to remember anything about his stage of their life. One reason for this is that their brain will have blocked out what took place in order to protect them. From the moment they were born, they are likely to have been neglected and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. The Imprint Not receiving the love, care and attention that they needed would have deeply wounded them. How they were treated would have sent the message that they were not wanted, had the right to be here or were worthy of life. Ergo, they wouldn’t have been able to form firm foundations, foundations that would have allowed them to grow into a strong and capable adult. A stage of their life then when they needed to feel safe, secure, wanted, loved and supported, was a stage when they felt insecure, unsafe, unwanted, rejected, abandoned and helpless. A Natural Outcome They would have experienced a physical birth but they wouldn’t have experienced an emotional birth. The nutrients that they needed were not provided so it is to be expected that they won’t be in a good way now that they are an adult. However, the truth is that they have the right to exist and are worthy of life. There is a strong chance that their caregivers were unable to give them what they needed due to them not having received what they needed during their formative years. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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