Healing: Can It Be Hard For Someone To Heal If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

For a little while now, someone may have been doing what they can to put their childhood behind them and live a life worth living. But, no matter what they have done, they might not have been able to truly put the past behind them.

Nonetheless, this is not to say that they won’t have made any progress, as they might be able to see how far they have come. Even so, what will be clear is that they are still very much caught up in what happened.

A Number of Approaches

Over the years and perhaps decades that they have been working on themselves, they might have changed numerous thoughts and questioned numerous beliefs.

Additionally, they might have worked through a lot of pain and released a lot of arousal. They may have even had energy healing and cut a number of cords that connected them to others.

Going Around In Circles

Thanks to what they have done and how long they have been doing it, it can be as if they are stuck on a roundabout. This is because they will be going around and around and won’t be getting very far.

As a result, they may have come to believe that there is something inherently wrong with them and that their life will never change. But, taking into account what is going on for them, this is not going to be a surprise.

No Other Option

If it were another area of their life that wasn’t working, they might be able to put what is going on to one side and carry on with their life. But, as this is not the case, they won’t be able to do this.

Now, although it may seem as if there is something inherently wrong with them and that their life will never change, this is unlikely to be the case. Instead, there is a chance that they need to try another approach.

A Closer Look

To shed light on what is holding them back, one thing that they can do is to imagine that they live a life where they freely express themselves and their life is aligned with who they are – their true self. At first, they may feel relieved and grateful that they have finally put their past behind them.

However, as time passes, they may find that they start to feel uncomfortable. The reason for this is that, to a big part of them, living in this way can be seen as a threat to their survival.

Inner Conflict

Assuming that this is so, it will illustrate that while part of them want to move on from their past, another part of them doesn’t feel safe enough to do so. To this other part of them, the only way for them to survive will be to experience life in the same way.

And, as their need to survive will be stronger than their need to live a fulfilling life, they won’t be able to move forward. If the other part of them could accept that they can both survive and freely express themselves, it would be different.

Confusion

Thus, as these two elements are not on the same page, so to speak, they will be caught up in a reality that is not serving them. When it comes to why this other part of them has attached their survival to living in a way that is not serving them, it is likely to be due to what their early years were like.

During this stage of their life, their ‘ego’ or simply their system would have formed a number of associations in regard to how they need to behave to survive. It then won’t matter that this stage of their life is over, as their being will do just about everything that it can to make sure that they behave in the same way.

It’s not safe

If this part of them could speak, it would probably say something like, “if you behave differently, you will die. So I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that you don’t change your behaviour; I don’t do this to harm you, I do it to protect you.” 

Like a dog with a bone, then, it won’t let go. During their formative years, behaving in a certain way most likely did minimise the harm that they experienced, but as this stage of their life is over, of course, it is no longer necessary.

Bypassing the Ego

With this in mind, for them to be able to move forward, at least two things will need to occur. First, the approach that is used will need to go beyond their ego, and second, their system will need to feel safe enough to let go.

If their ego has its defences up and they don’t feel safe, it probably won’t matter what approach they try or who they work with, as they won’t be able to make much progress. The ideal might then be for them to try an approach that goes beyond their conscious mind, and for them to not only work with someone who they feel safe with but for them to be somewhere where they feel safe.

Awareness

There are numerous approaches out there that bypass the conscious mind, therapists and healers who have a very peaceful presence and even areas on the planet that are very peaceful. If someone has been in the same position for a while, they might need to make sure that each of these aspects is covered.

If they were to try an approach that bypassed their ego and they felt safe with the therapist or healer, but they lived in an area that was full of old associations and they were unable to fully let go, they might only get so far. But, if they were to go to another part of the country or a country that has a certain energy, it might be different.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk