If someone was to get to the point in their life where they can no longer carry on living in the same way, they could end up buying a book on self-development or they could find a therapist to work with. What this could show is that their inner world is not as they would like it to be.
As a result of this, their outer world is also unlikely to be how they want it to be. Naturally, if they don’t feel good on the inside, it will be a lot harder for them to create a life on the outside that matches up with who they are.
The Main Goal
So regardless of whether they end up reading a book or having therapy, for instance, there is a strong chance that they desperately want to feel better. This doesn’t mean that they won’t also want their life to change; it is that this might not be their main priority.
They might even believe that once they feel better, the rest of their life will change. This makes perfect sense as if they are in a good way, it will be a lot easier for them to behave in a way that will serve them and allow them to create a fulfilling life.
A Big Surprise
But, although they may want to feel better, they could find that the complete opposite takes place. What this could do is cause them to conclude that what they are doing is not helping and that they need to try another approach.
This could show that what they are doing is not serving them and that they need to do try another approach. Then again, it could show that they are facing things that they have tried to avoid for a very long time.
Up To the Surface
For most of their life, their mind may have tried to keep what was taking place at a deeper level at bay. Therefore, now that they are no longer trying to deny how they feel and are embracing what has been kept at bay, it is going to be normal for them to feel worse than they did before.
Ultimately, they will have created the space for what was being avoided to come into their awareness. Embracing this pain will be hard, but it will give them the chance to face it and then to let it go.
Holding the Space
A therapist or a healer will provide the support that they need to face what they wouldn’t be able to face by themselves. The key here will be for them to let go of their resistance and to surrender to what is going on.
One thing that may cause them to resist what is taking place if they believe that they need to be positive all the time. Through having this outlook, it can stop them from being able to move through what is taking place inside them.
Additionally, they may have people in their life that also feel the need to be positive all the time. Thus, if they were to open up about what is going on for them, a number of their friends could tell them that they need to avoid their ‘negative’ feelings.
In these people’s eyes, their feelings could be seen as being created by their thoughts. It is then not going to be possible for them to accept that while their thoughts can affect how they feel, their thoughts can also trigger emotional pain that is held in their body.
In The Thick Of it
When it comes to the emotional pain that they are working through, it can relate to what has taken place in their adult years and go back to what took place during their early years. What this shows is that just because the mind has disconnected from something, it doesn’t mean that it will have completely disappeared.
This is why the body has been described as a dumping ground for what the mind doesn’t want to deal with. Another way of looking at the body would be to say that it is the so-called unconscious mind.
Staying With It
In addition to feeling what they have tried to deny for most of their life, they can also end up doing a lot of crying. When this takes place, it can show that one is grieving unmet childhood needs.
There will be needs that were not met and they will be coming to terms with the fact that these needs will never be met. Yet, no matter what wounds they are working through, it will be essential for them to stay with this process.
This is why a therapist or a healer can make a massive difference as, along with holding the space, they can give one the support and encouragement that they need to keep going. Needing support doesn’t mean that one is weak or incapable; it simply shows that they are an interdependent human being.
After all, even people such as athletes or CEOs have numerous coaches and advisors. Ergo, if one has reached out for support, it shows that they are courageous and are doing the right thing.
So providing that one sticks with this process, they are likely to find that they gradually start to feel better. Keeping in mind why they are doing this work and thinking about the fact that they deserve to live a fulfilling life will also help to keep them on track.
There could also come a time when they no longer feel the need to work with the same therapist/healer. This could show that they need to try another approach or that they have gone as far as they can with this person.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.