When I finished school I had no idea what I was going to do, so I ended up going to a college to see what courses were on offer. During this time, I thought I would be good to study psychology, yet that was as far as it went.
I didn’t get very good grades at school, which meant that I was unable to take this route. Instead, I ended up study sport and leisure, and this wasn’t because I was really into sports or anything.
The Only Option
At the time, it seemed as though this was the only thing that I could do. I could have stayed at school for another two years, but this was not something that appealed to me; I didn’t want to go back there, I wanted a fresh start.
Once this course was over, I started to wonder what I was going to do again. I could have gone further with what I was doing, but this didn’t really interest me.
A Number of years after this, in 2005, I started to think about going back to college and studying psychology. I had been reading books on psychology for a number of years at this point, so I thought that I would be able to do it.
I was told that I would have to do a test and, if I passed this, I would be able to get onto a course. This course would last for around two years and this would then give me the grades to go to university.
I believed that the people who went to university were extremely bright, and that this was somewhere I had to go in order to “make it”. What played a part in me having this outlook was that so many of my friends had gone there, and as I hadn’t gone I felt as though I was inferior.
So as I was now moving in that direction, or so I thought, I felt that I was moving up to their level. When it came to the test that I would have to take, I thought that I would completely nail it.
I Was Wrong
When I got there, I was told that I would have to read a news paper article and then analyse it, and there might have been something else that I had to do, too. I struggled, and I was soon told that I wouldn’t be able to do the course.
I felt as though I didn’t have what it takes and that I wasn’t good enough. This was hard for me to handle; especially as I went in there with so much confidence.
I Had To Do Something
I ended up doing music technology instead, and while I was doing this I continued to read books on psychology. A few years after this, in 2008, I started to write a journal and, two years after that, I wrote my first article.
I hadn’t forgot about going to university, though, as I looked into if I could go there in 2011. It became clear that I now had the grades, thanks to the qualifications that I had after studying music technology for three years.
I Was Torn
However, I wasn’t completely sure that I even wanted to go to university and, along with this, my father was in hospital. I remember telling him about it before he went into hospital and he told me that I had to live my own life now, or something similar.
For years I had thought about being a psychologist; this sounded like the right thing for me to do. But I had changed a lot since I first wanted to study psychology, and I deep down another part of me wasn’t on board with this.
I knew that I didn’t have all the big qualifications, but what I did have were the articles that I had written. This caused me to believe that if I could get an interview, I would be able to get into a top university.
I found out that I would be able to go to a university nearby, but this didn’t really appeal to me. I applied to go to Bath University but I didn’t get in, yet it didn’t have much of an effect on me.
I Had Found Something
What made a big difference is that I was now writing articles, and this was something that I enjoyed doing. I felt incredibly grateful that I could now do something, as I had been looking for something for most of my life.
I had always admired the people who had a purpose and a reason to get up each day. I thought for years about how I would do anything to have my own purpose, and now that I had one I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity that I had been given.
For years I had felt as though I there wasn’t anything that I was really good at; it was as though I had been left out in the cold. This was a time when I would only write about one article a week.
About a year after this I received an email from someone called Paula Durlofsky, who had a Ph.D in psychology; this was after I had left a comment on her blog. She gave me a lot of positive feedback and this had a big effect on me.
The foundations were being laid during this time and I received a lot more positive feedback from people, which gave me even more belief in what I was doing. There were plenty of distractions, but I wasn’t willing to stop what I was doing.
And, to this day, my commitment remains as strong as ever. If someone had told me that I would be writing articles and books when I was older, I probably would have said that they were talking nonsense.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Teacher, Author, Transformational Writer & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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