Is Our Past All Over Our Present?

The other day, when I was walking around a city, I saw a number of street names that reflected its medieval past. This was in addition to all of the buildings from this period that were dotted around.

What played a part in me noticing these names and the builders is my interest in medieval history. A number of years ago, before I became interested in this period of history, I knew that there was a city wall and a cathedral but that was about it.

New Eyes

Therefore, as I was in a different place, I was able to see that this was a city that was full of history from this period of time. If, on the other hand, I hadn’t been interested in that period of history, I wouldn’t have noticed these street names or these buildings.

But, even if this was the case, these street names would have still been there as would the buildings. After this, I thought about how this is very similar to how it is with our own unresolved history.


The Connection
When it comes to the inner wounds that haven’t been resolved from someone’s developmental years, these don’t just lie dormant. No, from outside of their conscious awareness, they will have an impact on their life.

But, in the same way that they can walk around an area that shows what it was like hundreds of years before, if they are not aware of this, they won’t be able to see the connection. They will then experience the same feelings and situations but they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak.

Seeing Clearly

If, then, they were to look into the impact that their childhood can have on their adult life, they might soon start to see their life with new eyes. They can see how certain painful feelings that they often experience as an adult relate to how they felt as a child.

The other part of this is that they can see how the depriving situations that they continually find themselves in are very similar to how it was for them as a child. At this point, they could struggle to understand how it wasn’t possible for them to notice this before.

By Design

But, they won’t have been able to see how their old issues were being played out because they were not aware of the signs. What this demonstrates is how their brain defines what they can or can’t see.

Something that can then be right in front of them but unless they are able to see it, it won’t matter. In this case, their brain will have caused them to forget about what happened and stopped them from seeing the signs to protect them.

For Example

To go deeper, they can find that they often feel hopeless and helpless and/or rejected and abandoned. This can show that they often experience setbacks and are let down, and often end up with people who are emotionally unavailable.

During their early years, one or both of their parents might have been emotionally unavailable and out of reach. As a result of this, they would have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

Final Thoughts

To allow them to keep it together and function, their brain would have repressed how they felt and the developmental needs that were not met. The years would then have passed and what happened would have largely been forgotten about by their conscious mind but a big part of them wouldn’t have and this part would have caused them to unconsciously re-create their early experience in the hope of finally being loved.

For them to gradually put this stage of their life behind them, they will have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk