If someone has a victim mentality, they are essentially going to believe that they have no control over their life. What will be in control of their life will be the situations, circumstances and events that they find themselves in and the people with who they cross paths with.
In other words, what is going on ‘out there’ will be in control of what does and doesn’t happen to them. As a result of this, it is to be expected that they will see themselves as being totally powerless.
A Miserable Existence
Through experiencing life in this way, they are unlikely to experience much happiness or joy. If they do experience feelings on the “positive” side of the emotional spectrum, it might not be long until they return to the “negative” side of it.
This can be something that will take place after have been ‘victimised’ by someone or something. Once this has taken place, they could be consumed by rage and hate and then end up feeling helpless and hopeless.
If they were to regularly talk to others about how they experience life, they could generally hear one of two things. Firstly, there can be people who will empathise with them, with these people validating their view of themselves as a victim.
Secondly, there can be those who will empathise with them, yet they won’t go along with how they see themselves. Instead, they could say that although they may have been victimised, it doesn’t mean that they are inherently a victim.
After they have been around someone who validates their view of themselves, they could feel good about themselves. This person can be seen as someone who understands what is actually going on for them.
On the other hand, after they have been with someone who doesn’t validate their view of themselves, they could feel wronged. This person can be seen as someone who simply doesn’t understand their life.
As one sees themselves as a victim, it is going to mean that they are nothing more than a passive observer of what is going on externally. Irrespective of what is taking place internally or what they do, it won’t affect their life.
Now, although this may appear to be the case, the truth is that they are actually the co-creator of their reality. In other words, this means that they are observing their own co-creation.
A Feedback Loop
The reason why they keep having experiences where they victimised and feel powerless is that this is in alignment with how they think, feel and what they believe. Their external reality is simply mirroring back what is taking place inside them.
The trouble, of course, is that as they are strongly attached to their ego-mind - the part of them that sees itself as separate from everyone and everything – they won’t be able to see this connection. This doesn’t mean that this part of them is bad, as it is what allows them to have their own experience on this earth.
To bring science into this, the law of resonance, a quantum physics law, states that everything is made up of vibrating energy. So, when two things vibrate at the same frequency, they are drawn together.
With this in mind, one is having experiences where they are victimised and feel powerless is due to the fact that they are resonating at the frequency that is needed for them to have this experience. Without realising it, they are sending out a frequency that pulls these experiences to them.
A Key Part
What this emphasises is how important self-awareness is as this will allow someone to connect to their inner world and to see how their outer world is a reflection of what is taking place internally. This is not to say that they will always be able to see a connection, though.
One reason for this is that they have both a conscious and an unconscious mind, with the latter having a far greater impact on their life than the former. Consequently, as the information that would shed light on what is going on can be hidden from their conscious awareness, there will be moments when what is going on externally won’t appear to have anything to do with their inner world.
Still, even though science has been brought in to back up the view that they are not inherently a powerless victim, it doesn’t that they will just be able to let go of this way of seeing themselves. What they can find is that a big part of them doesn’t want to let go if this outlook and actually feels comfortable with it.
To their ego-mind, what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe. To this part of them, letting go of this identity, as destructive and disempowering as it is, will be seen as something that will cause them to die, which is why it will hold on.
Along with this, one can carry a number of inner wounds that are preventing them from stepping into their power. These wounds can be a consequence of what they went through during their early years.
This may have been a stage of their life when they were victimised on a regular basis and were utterly powerless. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected throughout this time, and this would have had a massive impact on how they would see themselves and what they would resonate as an adult.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.