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After a man has come to see that he is overly close to his mother and is ignoring himself, he can look into why he is this way. This can be a time when he will end up watching videos or reading articles.
Either way, as the weeks and months pass, he can gain a deeper understanding of why he is this way. There may even come a time when, thanks to how much he has learnt, he knows more than some of the people who speak about this topic. The Next Step Anyway, after he has this understanding, he can look into what he can do to change his life. Due to how long he has been this way for, he might not want to wait around; he can then want his life to change fairly soon. What he may soon learn is that he needs to change his thinking, beliefs and how he behaves. Assuming that this is the case, after he has been applying what he has learnt over the weeks and months that pass, he can notice a number of changes. The right direction He can find that his inner dialogue is more positive, that he starts to feel better about himself and that he asserts himself more often. Thanks to this, he will be less entangled with his mother and more of an individual. As time passes, he can continue to go in the right direction. He might then arrive at the point where he looks back on his life and is able to clearly see how far he has come. Another Scenario Alternatively, he can apply all of the right steps, but he might not make much progress, or he might move forward, only to end up back where he was before. At this point, he can feel frustrated and depressed. Before long, he might get back on his feet again, so to speak, only to end up in the same position. If so, it can be as though no matter what he does, he is unable to move forward. Trapped Due to what has happened and how he still has the need to do so much for his mother, it can be as if he is living in an invisible prison. Additionally, along with the pressure that he feels from the external world, there can also be the pressure that he feels from within. As a result, he can feel that unless things change soon, he won’t be around for much longer. What can add to this pressure is that the life that he is living can be anything but fulfilling Looking For Answers What might soon enter his mind is that he just needs to find the right answer, as this will allow him to change his life. He might have had this view since he first started looking for answers. Once he finds the right bit of information, he can believe that he will be free and finally able to live his own life. However, what if this approach is what is holding him back? Another Angle What if how he adapted during his early years, due to being greatly deprived and deeply wounded, is a playing part in why he is this way? The reason for this is that this may have been a stage of his life when he lost touch with his embodied, connected, and fully feeling true self. In its place may have been the creation of a disembodied, disconnected, and not fully feeling false self. Consequently, he would have ended up living in his head and thus, ended up with an intellectual approach to life. A Natural outcome This part will be convinced that the solution to his challenge lies ‘out there’, in the right understanding or insight. So, like finding the right code to unlock the door, once he’s found it, he will be free. The challenge with this approach is that it overlooks his emotional self, and the impact this part of him is having on his experience of life. But, while what is going on for him at this level is having a big impact, he is likely to have an unconscious need to avoid how he feels. Self-Protection If he were to connect to how he feels, he is likely to end up being overwhelmed by pain. This would then stop him from being able to keep it together and function. His brain will repress this pain, helping to keep it out of his conscious awareness. Certain behaviours that he has will also help with this process, in addition to allowing him to release tension. Moving Forward Taking this into account, for him to gradually change his life, it will be essential for him to reconnect to his emotional self and face, process, and integrate the pain that he had to repress early on in order to survive a traumatising childhood. There will also be unmet developmental needs for him to experience. This will take courage, support, patience and persistence. Awareness If you would like to find out about the personalised consultations that I offer, click on this link - https://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/consultations.html
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 29 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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