Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man In An Emotionally Collapsed State?

If a man is in a position where he has the tendency to do what his mother wants and neglects a number of his own needs, it could be said that he needs to assert himself. However, although this is what he will need to do, it doesn’t mean that this will take place.

Firstly, he might not be consciously aware of the fact that he is abandoning himself and, second, even if he is aware of what is going on, he might not do anything about it. It might seem strange why he wouldn’t be consciously aware of what is going on but, behaving in this way can just be what is normal.

Another Element

Along with this, he can be out of touch with the feedback inside him that would allow him to know that he is out of balance. Thus, the feelings and needs that would allow him to see that he is living in the wrong way won’t enter his conscious awareness.

Or if they do, he will soon find a way to lose touch with this information. This could take place by him finding something to eat or drink or by doing something for his mother, for instance.

The other Side

Conversely, if he is aware of what is going on, but doesn’t do anything about it, it can be because he is very passive and doesn’t have much energy. He is then going to lack the oomph that he needs to change his life.

Thanks to this, as frustrating as it will be for him to ignore himself, this will seem like his only option. At this point, it can seem as though he is missing something and, thus, needs to take something to be able to get moving.

One Option

One way of looking at this would be to say that his testosterone levels are low. For him to change his behaviour, then, he will need to find a way to increase his testosterone.

Fortunately, there are a variety of supplements available that can allow him to achieve this aim. Nonetheless, even if this does work, will he be getting to the root of the issue?

One More

Another way of looking at this would be to say that he suffers from depression and this is why he is passive and lacks energy. Once again, for him to change his behaviour, he will need to deal with his depression.

In this case, he could take medication or wear a special headset that is designed to treat this challenge. Yet, as with the previous issue, even if this approach does work, will he be getting to the root of the issue?

Another Angle

Alternatively, what this can show is that, at an emotional level, he is in a place of utter despair. As a result of what is taking place for him at this level, his physical self will be in a collapsed state.

He is then not going to be in touch with how he feels but what is going on for him at an emotional level will impact his hormones, the thoughts that he has and his behaviour. If this is what is going on for him, it can seem strange as to why he would be this way.

A Brutal Time

There is a strong chance that what is going on for him is a consequence of what took place during his formative years. Of course, this stage of his life will be over but a big part of him will be anchored to this stage of his life.

During this stage of his life, he is likely to have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded. But, as he was powerless and dependent, he couldn’t change what was going on or find another family.

The Past Is Present

His only option was to lose touch with how he felt and a number of his needs and go into a collapsed, frozen and disconnected state. If he hadn’t responded in this way, he might not have survived.

He would have felt totally helpless and hopeless as a boy and he was totally helpless and hopeless. Now that this stage of his life is over, he is no longer helpless and hopeless but deep down, he won’t realise this.

It’s over

To this part of him, he will still be helpless and hopeless, which is why he won’t try to change his life. What this illustrates is that his brain is causing him to see life as it was, not as it is.

For this to change, he will need to settle his body down, so that he can connect with how he feels and heal his emotional wounds. This will take courage, patience and persistence.  

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

---

​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk