Mother Wounds: Can A Man Feel Comfortable Being Treated Badly By Women If His Mother Hated Him?

Right now, a man could be with a woman who doesn’t treat him very well. So, what can be normal is for him to be put down, humiliated, ignored, rejected and there may even be times when he is hit.

He might have been with her for a number of months or he might have been with her for a number of years. Either way, he is likely to be in a bad way and could be desperate for his life to change.

Weighed Down

However, due to how low he feels, he might not believe that there is a way out of the hell that he is living in. Therefore, while he will want to cut his ties with her, he won’t have the strength or the energy to leave.

He might have spoken to a friend or family member, for instance, about what is going on and they might have encouraged him to get away. Then again, he might have kept what is going on to himself.

Suffering in Silence

This could show that he doesn’t have anyone in his life who he can talk to about what is going on. Alternatively, there is a chance that he has kept what is going on to himself because he feels ashamed of what is going on.

He can believe that if he were to talk about what is going on, he wouldn't be taken seriously and would be laughed at. As a result of this, his life is likely to get worse and be will probably feel even worse.

Drawing the Line

Now, if he were to arrive at the stage where he is unable to take any more and he ends the relationship, it could take him a little while to settle down and find his feet again. He might also need a lot of support to be able to rise up again.

But, this can be a time when he will reflect on his previous relationship and what he went through. During this time, he can wonder why he put up with being mistreated and why he put up with it for so long.

Another part

What might also cross his mind is that this is not the first time that he has been with a woman like this. He could see that he has been in at least one other relationship where the same thing took place.

Moreover, he could see that, over the years, he has put up with being treated badly by women in other areas of his life. If so, he could come to the conclusion that this is just what women or at the very least, what some women are like.

Going Deeper

Nonetheless, what could enter his mind is why he put up with what was going on for a long time and didn’t walk away sooner. This can be a time when he comes to see that he believes that he deserves to be treated badly by women.

After this, he can find that he believes that he is worthless and unlovable. He could then conclude that there is no reason for him to feel this way and that these feelings are irrational.

Back In Time

Still, if he were to reflect on his early years, he may find that this was a time when his mother was often cruel and cold. He might see that he was often criticised, humiliated, rejected, left and even physically harmed by her.

If this was the case, he would have missed out on the love that he needed to grow and develop in the right way. Most likely, his mother was a deeply wounded human being who couldn’t love him.

A Big Impact

But, as he was egocentric, he would have personalised what took place, believing that he was worthless and unlovable. He would then have been greatly wounded and deeply deprived and developed a view of himself that had no basis in reality.

A number of his needs and feelings would have also been repressed, to allow him to handle what was going on. Many, many years will have passed since that stage of his life but, a big part of him won’t have moved on.

Another Element

Not only this but part of him will still be looking for the love that he missed out on during his formative years, This part, a part that has no sense of time and is blind, will cause him to unconsciously re-create situations that are very similar to how it was with his mother, in the hope that he will finally be loved.

But, as this stage of his life is over and other women are not his mother, it will be too late for him to meet this need. For him to gradually change his life, he is likely to have a lot of inner work to do.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk